Growing Up Chase
By Rebel Yell
Part Sixteen (age 17)
"I'm just not cut out for it, Cols." Rob complained, throwing a glance over his shoulder at his friend and roommate. "It's good that you are but…I'm not. Can you imagine me as a priest, really?"
" You're really very good with the children from the primary school, you could teach. And the people at the retirement center. Especially the older ladies."
" Cols! They just think I'm cute."
" You're good with sick people - you were a hit at the hospital visit with Father Sorvino."
" But you've seen my discipline record! I'm okay with the poverty bit…mostly. Even obedience, generally. But chastity? I'd break that vow in a minute - and then I'd go to hell."
" You wouldn't necessarily-" Rob looked pointedly at his friend, who reconsidered, "Okay so you would break it. I don't see what's so great about it. I mean, that you can't give it up. Are you an addict?"
" Yes!" He was being honest, and clearly facetious at the same time. "I'm completely an addict! The fact that you don't understand is only a testament to your lack of experience. I am utterly and unrepentantly addicted to sex."
" Rob! Not so loud."
" Everyone knows, Cols."
" Yes, after you got Mary Beth kicked out of the Sacred Heart convent school!"
" That was entirely a mutual decision, I didn't get her kicked out. We got her kicked out together."
" And that's so much better."
" It's not like I forced her! I didn't even have to talk her into anything, it was her idea to have sex. I figured, girl in a convent school, I'll not be getting anything there, I just thought we'd have a good time, hang out a bit. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be a nun. And that school is even worse than this one - no phones even. She probably told just to get kicked out."
" She thought she was pregnant!"
" Well, I told her that a condom was 95 percent effective, and she was worried for nothing."
" Clearly the sensitive reply."
" I said it nicer then! I thought her father was going to kill me."
" Her father was an ass." Colin snorted, remembering the disciplinary hearing well. Mary Beth's father had been (justifiably) upset about Rob's actions but a lot of what had been said was just unnecessarily cruel.
" No, her father was just angry and worried. My father is an ass."
" Your father kept you in school - again. Didn't any of those retreats you've been sent on teach you anything? Make you consider anything?"
"I learned that I hate self-reflection. I learned that Father Kopczick and I would get on a lot better if he'd let me continue to affirm and embrace my bitter disposition. I learned how to visualize my anger, that's why the dustbunny under the bed is growing into the Godzilla of dustbunnies by the way, you're not allowed to vacuum up Earl. I learned that I get angry when people tell me I shouldn't be angry. I believe I have a right to be an angry, distant and dysfunctional asshole, apparently it's genetic. I learned-"
" You were supposed to-"
" I know what I was supposed to do, Colin! I tried to stay out of trouble, but you know me…I kissed her and she kissed me and it was just…and then we went out loads after that."
" Loads. Six weeks."
" Before we had sex. And for four weeks after. Until you know, the whole mess and the hearing and things."
" You aren't supposed to be dating at all!"
" Which is really a dumb rule, because how do you know if you want to give up girls, if you've never had one? It's not an informed decision, is it?"
" How'd your father react?"
" He left right after the hearing. No doubt he made a big donation to the new science wing or something though to keep me in school. He didn't say a word to me. Didn't even ask for my side of things."
" My dad would have…I don't know, but it wouldn't be pleasant."
" Be rich of mine, considering. He was seeing her before my mum died."
" How is your stepmother? You never said how that dinner went, when your dad come for your first hearing." Colin politely didn't remind Rob that he'd said before that his mother had dated several men since the divorce.
" She ignored me the whole time. Dinner took two hours, and I didn't say a single thing after 'hello' and 'nice to finally meet you'. She and her daughters talked about some photography project the elder girl's been working on. Apparently she's an 'artist', my stepsister."
" How old are they? Your stepsisters I mean?"
" Melissa's in her last year of university -- she's the artist. Nicola is nearly the same age as me, just a few months older. Since I'm to graduate early though, she's a year behind in school."
" Does she…live at home?" It was a sensitive subject with Rob at the best of time, talking about his father, and Rob being in boarding school. Still, Colin was curious and Rob seemed in a sharing mood for once.
" Apparently, my father can tolerate living with her, he just can't tolerate living with me. Nicki seemed nice enough, to be fair. She must not be as much trouble as I am. She actually asked me a few questions, but her sister talked over me so I didn't bother answering. Catherine -my stepmum- and Melissa didn't even look at me the entire time. It was weird."
" Are you going home, to your Dad's I mean, at end of term then, for Christmas and all?"
" No. I'm going back to my mum's house. Dad's got a conference someplace in America, the first week at least, and I reckon I'm not much welcome round there even when he's there."
" You could come back home with me."
" I appreciate the offer, but I think your parents were a bit…shaken when they visited, let alone if I showed up for the holidays. Then there's the fact that you've loads of brothers and sisters -- your house would burst with one more person, wouldn't it? Besides all that, wouldn't they wonder why I didn't go home?"
" Oh, I've already given Mum the whole Robert Chase sob story, so no worries on that count."
" You didn't."
" Uhm…I did. Sort of."
" COLIN! That's private! You have no right telling people about it!"
" No details just…you know, that your mum is dead and you don't get along with your dad. That's all. I didn't you know, talk about the alcohol or anything." He hadn't thought it a big deal, telling his parents about Rob's history. They hadn't acted like his roommate was crazy after that, at least. When they'd arrived for a visit, right after they'd all heard about Dr. Chase getting remarried, Rob had been going through one of what his classmates called "phases" -- which meant Rob hadn't been talking to anyone about anything, spent most of his free time sleeping or listening to loud angry music at full volume and couldn't seem to pay attention to anything for more than five minutes, even a regular conversation. Colin's parents had seriously thought he was stuck rooming with the closest thing to an insane delinquent one could possibly imagine in a seminary school. Explaining Rob's history had seemed like the best way to make them understand that he wasn't always like that, he just…had phases.
" Still - just, don't talk about me okay? People find out and they treat me like I'm going to break or something. Your mum will probably treat me like some poor abused puppy now."
" No. But you'll probably get a hand-knitted scarf. Mum makes us a new one every Christmas. She loves to knit, says its stress-relief for her. She feels better if she makes useful stuff though. She can make a scarf in just a couple days -- so she's always happy to have more people to give them to."
" Sounds nice. My mum never did much about Christmas, especially after the divorce. We always went to midnight Mass, though. We'd go and listen to the choir before Mass, and she'd tell me I should join the choir when I got older."
" You should. You've got a good voice."
" Father Kopec directs the choir, Cols." Rob reminded, eyebrows raised.
" Maybe if you saw him for something besides staying out all night with the girls from Sacred Heart, he'd like you more."
" It was only one girl from Sacred Heart! The others I mostly met out places, local girls yeah?"
" That's disgusting, Robert." Colin shook his head tiredly, half-joking and half-serious in his criticism. "You just pick up random girls in a pub or something and…it's not healthy or safe, let alone moral behavior."
" You should try it some time, Colin." Rob teased, though both of them knew he respected Colin a lot for his decision to stick to his vows (private at this time, formal would come later) and being celibate. "It's absolutely amazing. Feels like a drug but…better. It's the most natural high. Besides, aren't your parents worried about you carrying on the family name or something? Giving them grandchildren?"
" Rob, I have two sisters and five brothers remember? My parents will have loads of grandchildren. Mum's really happy I want to be a priest, and my Nan is convinced it's like years off of purgatory or something to raise a child who serves God in the holy orders. They don't mind, trust me."
" My dad wants me to be a doctor, not a priest. I told him I hate medicine, I spent enough time in the hospital last couple years."
" Yet he sent you to seminary school, despite the fact that he wants you to be doctor."
" He wants to keep me out of trouble first, I think." Rob sighed, and dropped back to lay on the bed. "Mostly, he wants to keep me out of his life. Thinks if he shuts me away someplace where they don't even allow television he can ignore me without feeling guilty about Mum. He said he'd come to a match before the year ends, but he lied. He doesn't want to see me."
" There's still two matches left. Maybe he'll make it."
" Has my dad ever come 'round here for anything?"
" You mean besides disciplinary hearings?"
" Yeah, well, there were those times. He only came then because Father Kopec told him if he didn't show, I'd be summarily expelled. Then he'd have to deal with the fact that I'm alive. Father Bennett thinks I'd do well in medicine though too. I just hate to do it -- everyone will expect me to be just like my dad."
