A/N: First of all, thanks to my beta :)
I must say I'm disappointed with the last part of this chapter. I've been waiting to write the clexa meeting for a year and now it came in a very busy and messy period, so it didn't come out as I wished, but you've waited long enough so... A huge THANK YOU for bearing with me all through this never ending slow burn.
This will be the last chapter for a while because I'm going away (gotta go to Glasgow) and I don't know when I'll be back writing, maybe before Christmas, maybe later.
I mostly use the italic for sentences written in English but meant to be in another language, be it Trigedasleng or Italian. And if there are no " " it's someone's thoughts.
Come find me on tumblr (username is justawordunsaid) or on twitter (Sara_NobodyO)
If you like it, please leave a review! Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Goral's song
The battle in and outside the city has been going on for hours, they are now well into the afternoon and the rebels find themselves greatly outnumbered. The Queen has gone back to the palace, leaving a line of dead bodies behind her, and the Royal Guard is focused on defending it, making it impossible for the rebels to attempt to break in. More archers have come and are shooting from the safety of the palace, for the rebel archers is now very hard to put them down.
Outside the situation might be even worse, more soldiers keep coming and they didn't expect so many, Adam and Meike are struggling to keep fighting, their fighters are tired and worn out. There is still no sign of the army camped a few hours away from the capital though, and that would be a great thing if it weren't that their situation is becoming more and more desperate with the passing time.
The soldiers are trained to resist very long in battle, they have been to war, they are prepared for it, most of the rebels never took part in a real battle and soon they won't be able to hold a sword any longer. Some of them turned to alternative ways of fighting, small groups of rebels threw aside their swords in favour of daggers and, drawing the soldiers into the forest, they used the cover of trees to attack them on a more favourable ground.
The rebels are people who grew up in villages and forests, they know how to fight among the trees better than the soldiers, they know how to hide and how to surprise, they have better chances in the shadows of frozen woods.
So that's the strategy Meike opted for. Euler and Meike lead half of their group to lure the soldiers in the forest and kill them silently, while Adam and Vera stay with the rest of the rebels to protect the city walls and make sure no more soldiers can pass to go aid the Queen.
... ... . ... ...
Inside the walls the rebels who stayed behind have managed to conquer some terrain, pushing through to try and clear the rest of the city so that those who are fighting around the palace won't get surrounded by newcomers.
But in the centre of the capital the Queen's men are quickly gaining the upper hand.
Malaya has been injured and she struggles to fight, although refuses to leave the battle and find shelter somewhere. Nyx and Katarina are trying to cover her sides as she stubbornly keeps mowing soldiers on her path. Clarke and Chayim are in a similar formation with a badly hurt Wit in the middle, Raoul is bleeding profusely from a large wound and still trying to hold his own against a group of soldiers. Liri is the one dealing better, trained to resist long in war, she's still killing men fast and efficiently.
Clarke keeps scanning the fighting mass hoping to see her friends still alive. She has lost sight of Goral, Kora, and Xavier and she hopes they managed to stick together still, once in a while she catches sight of Rokh's axe, but she hasn't seen Jivin in too long. The last time she saw Faith was more than half an hour ago, at least Clarke believes so, and it's getting more and more difficult for her to look out for the others while keeping Wit and herself alive.
At some point, she catches red hair in the bloodied battlefield and she struggles to see as Faith is disarmed by two men, the expression on her face of someone too tired to fight back any longer. She shouts to get Liri's attention and point the woman in the girl's direction, but she knows it's too late as she herself attempts to fight her way to Faith, failing as three more men stand in her way.
She looks in horror as Faith keeps fighting with her daggers, clearly in disadvantage against two swords. Then, much to her utter surprise, a black-dressed warrior cuts through the soldiers, throwing them away from Faith without even looking at them. She realises in shock that the guard is Ontari, the one who should be the Queen's right hand according to the people of the capital, the one who fought Nyx at Roan's side.
As she keeps watching she notices that the guard actually has Faith's back, she looks as the young rebel turns away from Ontari to fight other soldiers and she follows, trying yet again to get near her.
Clarke has no time to think about the guard's reasons, Faith seems safe for now, so she goes back at Wit's side and resumes fighting with the two boys.
... ... . ... ...
Another hour passes and Nyx knows their chances at winning are less and less each passing minute. She watches her people fall, already a third of them is down, fatally injured or dead already, the ones still standing are bleeding and struggle to raise their weapons. She has lost sight of Clarke and Wit and Malaya's wound is only getting worse as she keeps striking as hard as she can.
She can't see Faith, Goral or Rokh, there is no sign of Xavier, the only one still clearly visible is Liri in her bloodied armour. She thanks the spirits for the ones of them who have been to a war before since they're the only one still fighting as hard as before. She herself can feel her body screaming in pain, her arms refuse to raise the sword any more times and she knows she will soon have to leave her sword in favour of lighter weapons, as many have done already.
She admires Katarina's resistance at her side, her fury, and her strength as she kills any soldier who gets too close to Malaya, but she got hit too and she's bleeding from her side and from her back, she won't resist much longer either.
Nyx is starting to consider the retreat. They won't have a second chance at taking the capital, if they retreat now the Queen will have the whole army waiting for them next time. She'd rather die on the battlefield, trying to rescue her Nation, but she has the responsibility of all the people fighting with her, she can't ask them all to die when they have no chance to win anymore.
The feeling of defeat makes her fight harder for a while, gives her the adrenaline she needs for a moment, but her mind is working fast considering whether to call for the retreat or not.
She hears the shallow sound of Clarke's voice from far into the battlefield, she can't make out what she's saying, but as she tries to get closer and she finally catches sight of her, she understands what she's doing. Clarke is trying to speak to the rebels, she's spurring them on, urging them to keep fighting, reminding them why they're fighting, who they are.
And Nyx remembers too, they are sons and daughters of Ice and they will live for their lands and their people.
Next, she hears Liri shout an old battle cry and she joins in the chanting of voice repeating it, answering to Liri's call of strength.
... ... . ... ...
Suddenly they hear new cries coming from around the city, silver warriors in shining armours are pouring into the capital unexpected and welcomed with shouts of joy.
~~ "They rode into the capital on horses, their mane white as the pure moon, warriors clad in silver armour drawing slim lethal swords and shouting silent battle cries with eyes full of truth. They joined ancient allies in respect of a vow to righteous people, Ice and Moon together broke chains and ropes freeing spirits long forgotten by the world." ~~
Ethan leads the first line of warriors bursting into the battle, he's wearing a armour similar to Liri's one and shouting the same battle cry. Behind him, the silver warriors are slaughtering soldiers like puppets.
The Moon troupes paint the capital white and red with their armours and swords.
Just like Goral sang in his story. Two ancient allies take back a forgotten honour and a chained Nation.
~~ "Ice has found his roar again in the moonlight." ~~
The rebels shout their welcome to their allies and fight with renewed energy, now certain again of their victory. The Queen will fall today, Ice is theirs to take.
~~ "The battle, that had lasted for hours already, came to an end only a few hours after the arrival of the silver warriors, painting the sunset of red darkness and new hope. Losses were suffered on all sides, but the once feared soldiers were reduced to a few and held captive for the people to judge." ~~
It goes as Goral sang, many of his friends remembering the words as the silver soldiers trim through the Queen's men having left their horses behind and now making their way gracefully across the battlefield.
~~ "Ice found its pride again and claimed its freedom, people sang their hymns again and children learned about our festivities properly. And on the day that followed the victory, a new song was heard coming from the heart of the Ice sons and daughters." ~~
Nyx and Clarke enter the royal palace flanked by Moon warriors, their shiny armours covered in the blood of their enemy, their swords unsheathed and ready to run through bodies.
They kill every soldier they can't subdue and leave a trail of death behind them. The Moon warriors are skilled fighters and make their way into the palace in a safe formation, ready to face any danger and put it down. They are quick and efficient, fresh against the tired soldiers.
Roan doesn't try to fight, he surrenders as soon as he sees the silver warriors and makes no attempt to stop them from getting to the Queen.
Her personal guard put down, the Queen finally fights her own battle, she manages to wound two warriors before Clarke's sword finds its way at her throat. With rage burning in her eyes, she keeps struggling until Nyx takes her weapon away and the warriors tie her up.
... ... . ... ...
They won.
Ice belongs to its people once again.
As Nyx and Clarke come out into the streets again, they see that the war is won and the Moon warriors are now assisting the injured, the other rebels glad for the help as they finally let go of the weapons and breathe air stained with death but smelling of hope nonetheless.
... ... . ... ...
Clarke is doing her best to aid the wounded fighters, even though among the Moon warriors there are more than one healers who are taking care of them already. Nyx has gone to Faith, as the girl is taking Ontari's defence trying to explain that in the end she fought against the soldiers. Chayim is trying to convince Wit to lie down and let the healer do his job, Katarina is not making a big deal out of it, simply forcing Malaya to sit and wait, her hand pressed against the wound both to stop the bleeding and keep the stubborn girl from standing up.
Liri is overseeing the capture of the soldiers who are still alive, she refuses to let someone take care of her wounds until the Queen's men are securely tied up and locked somewhere easy to guard. She has easily taken the lead, ordering around rebels and Moon soldiers alike, her blue armour proudly covered in blood.
Clarke still hasn't managed to check on everyone, she's still trying to catch a sign that her friends are all alive and not knowing puts her on edge. But at some point, a messenger runs into the square where they have settled to treat the injured ones.
An army is marching on Ice. The Trikru Commander leading it.
Clarke immediately runs to find Nyx and Liri joins them immediately after. None of them has any idea what to do, they can't fight another battle and Clarke doubts she can talk Lexa out of a war.
She reasons Lexa must be there for the Queen, she can't have known about the rebellion when she left Polis with her army. So maybe if they show her Ice is secured and not in the hands of the Queen anymore, she could refrain from attacking.
As they discuss how to face the new threat, Malaya joins them with Chayim failing to support her as she shrugs off his helping hand. She has the answer, simple and clear, they have an army, a white and blue army. They go welcome the Trikru army with their joined forces, Moon warriors and Ice rebels together, they show their strength, they fight for their lands again.
That seems to be the best option as they need protection in case Clarke's wrong and Lexa orders the attack anyway, but they still hope the Commander will not attack once she learns the Queen has fallen. Because the truth is, they would probably lose a battle against one of the strongest clans of the Coalition right now.
... ... . ... ...
Katarina fights Malaya when the girl wants to go with the small army, and she must win the argument because when she meets the others outside the capital, she's alone, only Chayim trailing after her.
They also had to fight to leave Faith in the capital, but the girl eventually gave in as she remembered Ontari being tied up and guarded by Moon warriors.
Only a small party of rebels leaves with the Moon army, Nyx, Clarke, Katarina, Chayim, Ethan, and Liri. They left Malaya in charge, knowing the girl, even though badly hurt, will not accept to just sit down and wait.
Nyx and Clarke are hurt too, minor injuries, but still wounds that could be trouble should they get into a fight, so they decide to stay in the rear and let Liri, Ethan, Katarina, and the Moon general lead their small army. Chayim chose to stay with the two girls and make sure their wounds don't get worse during the short trip.
They took the horses from the royal stables so that the rebels could ride like the Moon warriors and not slow down the party.
Not even an hour later, they are met with an army of both Trikru and Skaikru and Liri doesn't know what to think of it. She recognises the woman leading the army on a dark horse, the Commander of Trikru, the same one who betrayed Clarke. She feels Katarina tense at her side and reminds herself to keep an expression of indifference.
Lexa, on her side, is shocked to see such an extensive display of warriors, she notices the silver soldiers and recognises the Moon general. The rebels called for the old ally of their Nation, and apparently, Moon has answered.
"I am not here to fight you", she speaks loudly, "My fight is only with the Queen."
Liri hears someone huff behind her, the rebels probably finding it hard to believe. She steps forward anyway.
"The Queen has fallen, Ice belongs to its people once again. You can leave your weapons and set camp in peace, but if it's my people's blood you seek, you won't only have to fight the true warriors of Ice, but the noble soldiers of the Moon Clan as well."
"The Queen has fallen?" Lexa repeats in disbelief, behind her words travel fast in whispers and gasps.
Of all the things they expected, they surely didn't think they would have come to find the Queen already defeated. As much as Lexa was happy to see the people of Ice rebelling against the Queen, she didn't believe they could have done it on their own.
They underestimated the rebels, they didn't seem prepared to Lexa and her trained warriors, but they proved stronger than expected.
...
In the rear, Clarke can barely hear Lexa's words, but she knows the Commander is talking loud and clear. Clarke is nervous and on edge, Nyx keeps glancing at her to make sure she's okay and Clarke always offers reassuring gestures, but she is not calm as she wants to appear.
There's a battle going on in her mind, about whether she should trust Lexa or not. As much as she wishes she could just be very objective and cautious about trusting the Commander, there is an insistent and annoying voice that keeps whispering she can trust Lexa, not the Commander maybe, but she can trust Lexa.
She doesn't want to believe it, she just wants to let Liri handle it, to let the others decide if they should believe the Commander, she wants to let Nyx, Liri, Chayim, Ethan and the Moon general consider whether listening or not.
Yet the voice keeps talking and she can't shut it up.
The Queen has fallen. There is no threat to her people here, the rebels will gladly accept peace with the Trikru. The Commander doesn't need to attack you, you can reason with Lexa. You can trust Lexa.
But you never know when and by who the Commander might feel threatened. She's still the woman who claimed she could kill people she didn't like. The other voice retorts, and Clarke feels like there is only that voice – clearer, louder, more reasonable, and yet somehow weaker – keeping her from falling.
She didn't kill Octavia, though. This time she recognises the voice as her own, weighting the two discordant opinions.
She even killed cold blooded her own trusted warrior for doubting us. The loud voice again.
Because she's fair. The same rules that apply for her allies and even for her enemies, also apply for her own people.
Clarke hates the whispering, calm voice, it's soothing, not intrusive like the other, it makes it so easy to give into what it says, and Clarke doesn't want to.
Ice has always been Trikru's worst enemy. She will never not feel threatened. We can't trust her.
Yet again the small, soothing voice makes so much sense, it's unbearable for Clarke to listen to it. Lexa is reasonable. She's a peace maker, she doesn't want war, she doesn't wish for death and violence, she wants her people safe. We can guarantee her that we won't attack her clan, she won't attack us out of nothing.
Clarke knows Lexa only betrayed them because it was best for her people, and now, for the first time she truly wonders what if.
If Lexa hadn't betrayed them, what would have happened?
You wouldn't have met Nyx. And Faith. And Aeryn. Malaya, Wit, Chayim, Goral, Liri. None of them. Says the small voice.
You would still have your family, you wouldn't have had to leave your friends. They wouldn't have looked at your like a murderer. You wouldn't feel like a monster. Says the loud one.
Your friends have seen you as a murderer ever since Finn, ever since the bomb in TonDC. Raven never forgave you, Octavia hated you for TonDC. Your mother wouldn't have been happy with how you did things anyway. Innocents would have died anyway. You would still have blood on your hands and your people would still blame you for every single one of them who wouldn't have made it. Retorts the low one, just a little bit edgy.
You would have had Lexa. The loud one says calmly now.
And Clarke's thoughts stop racing for a moment. She would have had Lexa.
You were meant to visit Polis with her.
Lexa offered her in front of the Mountain.
You could have seen where that kiss brought you.
She could have had a different ending. Her feelings toward the Commander could have been so different.
Would you give up the family you have found for time with Lexa? The small voice comes back, shy now.
Clarke doesn't know. Would she give up Nyx, Faith, Aeryn, all the family she has now, for some time in Polis with Lexa? For the chance to explore the possibilities with Lexa? When she first ended up in Cristallo she would have given anything for that chance. But now?
They healed your spirit, but you wouldn't have needed it if Lexa hadn't betrayed you. The loud voice presses gently.
Wouldn't have you? The Mountain broke you, but you started breaking when you landed on earth and had to take care of your people. You broke when you killed Finn, you broke when you watched your mother walk in TonDC when the missile was about to hit it, you broke so many times. You would have been broken anyway. Who would have healed you then?
Lexa. The loud voice says victoriously. Lexa helped you bear the weight of leading your people, she would have helped you live with the weight of the blood as well.
Clarke can't deny it, Lexa would have been there for her. But she betrayed them and Clarke broke alone.
You can still have Lexa. You just need to find the strength to trust her again. The small voice soothes. And you can also still have Nyx, Faith, Aeryn, your new family. No need to choose that way.
And it's so appealing, but can Clarke truly trust Lexa again? Won't she always fear the next betrayal?
It's up to you. The small voice reminds her.
And then all the voices go quiet and Clarke is left alone in her head. She can't trust Lexa yet, she can't risk so much again. But she will let Liri make the decision for her.
And Clarke doesn't need to admit that deep down she wishes Liri to trust Lexa, just this once.
...
Liri is still doubting the Commander's intentions when Hatan makes his way through lines of warriors and steps forward at Lexa's side.
He starts explaining everything very fast, guaranteeing them the Commander means no harm to the people of Ice. Soon a woman emerges from the crowd of Trikru warriors too, Liri immediately understands she's a Sky person, as her clothes give her away. She is followed by two boys and a brunette girl and immediately starts asking for Clarke.
Lexa turns and nods to the woman before addressing Liri again and asking about the Sky Princess.
"We know she was taken by the Queen-"
Before Lexa can finish her sentence, Clarke steps forward, Nyx and Chayim right behind her.
Everyone stares in shock at the battered looking Clarke, still wearing bloodied clothes and sporting wounds that still need tending to.
"Clarke", Lexa whispers, unable to contain the emotions in her voice, there's relief, hope, disbelief, shock, happiness. "You're alive".
Lexa can't do anything but stare as the girl she thought she killed walks in front of her, very much alive.
Immense relief rushes through her. The regret, the sorrow, the guilt are momentarily shut up, they have no place in the outmost happiness Lexa is feeling right now.
She forgets all the self-hatred and allows the warmth of seeing Clarke wash her clean of the pain. For just one moment she lets her breath take in pure air, untainted by the emptiness that made it hard for her to breathe.
She looks up at blue eyes and finds them struggling to avoid her, a cold wind knocks the air out then, fear crushing down on her when Clarke can't even look at her.
But then green finally meets blue and Lexa shivers and feels her heart tremble in her chest, she watches as Clarke needs to steel herself after letting her gaze settle on Lexa's. Clarke seems eager to break the contact, but it also looks hard for her to do so. Lexa knows she cannot avert her eyes.
Clarke is alive.
Clarke survived the Queen. Lexa wasn't the cause of her death.
Clarke is strong, she reminds herself. Of course she survived. She destroyed the Mountain, saved her people, and now she escaped the Queen, fooling death once more.
Lexa is barely aware that she's smiling, but she can't help it, her lips more upward and she could do nothing to stop it. It feels so good to finally be able to smile at Clarke after months of fear and regret. It feels so refreshing to look into those eyes once again, seeing the life there, feeling her own spirit roar in answer to the fire of Clarke's. After months of punishing herself, she can take a break, in the end, because Clarke is safe and her soul doesn't need to break any more.
Her heart beats furiously in her chest as she watches the woman she longs to take in her arms, to kneel before and beg for a forgiveness she can't ask.
She knows she cannot apologise to Clarke for the choice she made, but oh how she wishes she could. The Commander demands that she stays strong and confident in her decisions, the Spirit urges her never to betray her position for love. But Lexa knows, one day something will break and the girl who has been suppressing herself all this time will refuse to stay silent any longer.
She dreads the day when Lexa and the Commander will clash and fight for control. She fears she will not be strong enough, she is terrified of what could happen if she were strong enough.
For now, she simply revels in the balsam that is Clarke's presence, she lets Clarke soothe the ache in her soul.
"Clarke!" at the same time, Abby shouts and runs to her daughter.
Katarina and Chayim immediately move in front of Clarke protectively, halting the woman. Clarke reassures them it's okay and lets her mother hug her. To Abby's annoyance, Clarke breaks the embrace quickly to ask what she's doing with Lexa's army.
"She came to us saying the Queen had you. She promised she could get you back with our weapons' assistance." Abby dismisses quickly. "What are you doing? Why are you covered in blood? You need to tend to those wounds!"
Clarke shrugs, "Not all of that blood is mine", she catches Chayim smiling slightly at that. "And I will tend to those wounds, but we were in a hurry when a messenger came to tell us an army was marching against Ice."
At that, Hatan assures again that they can trust the Commander.
"Yeah, that's what I thought once too".
Lexa grits her teeth and notices how the dark haired girl behind Clarke steps closer to the blonde protectively.
"I thought you were dead. When the Commander told us the Queen had you..." Abby trails off, her hand reaching for Clarke's cheek.
"It's okay, Mom. I'm fine." Then she addresses Lexa for the first time. "How did you know the Queen had me?"
It has barely been a day, it was impossible for Lexa to know Clarke was in the Queen's hands.
"Some of my scouts reported seeing soldiers of the Queen holding you captive, Clarke, they said they were taking you to her." Lexa struggles to keep her voice from trembling. She thought Clarke would have been dead, she dared hoping, but she never actually believed she could find her alive. Yet, here she is, the woman who fell from space.
Clarke tries not to shiver at the way Lexa says her name, focusing on her words instead. Lexa must be referring to her capture during the journey. Of course, she couldn't know Nyx and the rebels saved her that time too. After all, she has been in the Queen's hands eventually, but they saved her again, right before Lexa could get to her, Clarke could laugh at it. But Lexa would have been late anyway, the Queen was already about to kill her when the rebels attacked.
"The soldiers didn't manage to bring me to her that time." she looks at Nyx behind her and the brunette gives her a supportive nod.
Clarke turns to her mother, "It's okay, I'm alright. The Queen has fallen".
"You attacked Ice and you won." Lexa's voice holds respect as she addresses the rebels once again.
"We did, Commander." Liri confirms.
"Maybe you could show us. I really want to see the Queen defeated and they have healers, they could help", Hatan interjects.
Liri glares daggers at him and speaks before Ethan gets a chance to accept.
"We are not going to lead an army of enemies into the capital."
"We don't have to be enemies. With the Queen defeated, there can be a new alliance between Azgeda and Trikru." Lexa offers. "And our healers would be happy to help."
Liri is about to refuse again, but Ethan whispers to her they could really use the healers.
"Clarke, we can help", Abby tries to reason with her daughter.
Clarke looks at Liri and Nyx, "My mother is a doctor, she can actually be a lot of help."
"What about the others?"
Lexa stares in shock as the rebels all look at Clarke and the brunette girl.
Clarke looks at Nyx, not wanting to trust Lexa, but having to admit that they could use help with the injured ones. The brunette stares right back at her, understanding the other's conflict, then nods to the blonde and addresses the Commander.
"You can enter the capital with your healers, no warriors, and no weapons."
Indra immediately protests, coming to a stop at Lexa's side and falling silent at the raised hand.
"My general will come with me, we will all leave our weapons." she negotiates.
Clarke nods her acceptance and Nyx voices the accord.
As Lexa gives order for the healers to step forward, take medical supplies and leave the weapons behind, Octavia and Bellamy run to meet Clarke.
"I'm glad you're alive", Octavia says, "and you have a lot of explaining to do!"
Clarke chuckles and greets Lincoln with a smile as he steps up behind Octavia, and promises she will tell them the whole story. Other Sky People step forward to greet Clarke and soon the party is ready to go back to the capital.
Indra is still trying to reason with her Commander, Lexa is ignoring her, and the Moon general offers to stay with the Moon troupes to guard the Trikru army.
... ... . ... ...
On the way back to Ice, Abby refuses to leave Clarke's side, Octavia and Lincoln follow behind with Bellamy, the boy greatly annoyed by how the rebels stay close to Clarke as if not trusting her people. Clarke insisted the Sky People left their weapons behind as well and he doesn't feel safe unarmed surrounded by so many grounders. He doesn't understand why she would do something like that, they are her friends, her family, why wouldn't she trust them?
Lexa struggles to deal with her feelings for the whole trip to the capital, Indra is finally quiet at her side and Hatan is the only cheerful one, he is in the front talking with other rebels, who are telling him about the battle.
