A/N- How freaking awesome was that first episode last week? I'm kind of gutted because I'm travelling around at the moment and am unable to see the next two episodes till I'm back home. It does mean a lack of Internet connection and no way to research things for the story. However, travelling does mean lots of time bored on airplanes, perfect writing and procrastinating opportunities. So I've come up with a new ark for the story, to keep it away from canon. As always, let me know your thoughts, feelings and ideas.
"We finally fall apart,
And we break each other's hearts.
If we wanna live young love,
we'd better start today."
"It's gonna get easier,
easier, somehow."
Imagine Dragons- Not Today
Harvey rounded the corner and out of site and earshot of his secretary. He felt like a young child, highly vulnerable and scared. The last place he wanted to be tonight was here in these abandoned offices, where his guilt was evident round every corner. He wanted to be at home, wallowing in a bottle of scotch and coming up with some ingenious plan to get Mike out of there. He should be with Rachel.
His last promise to Mike was that he would do everything possible to take care of Rachel whilst Mike was inside. And Harvey had abandoned her on his first night, unable to face her and her anger at him. Or was he unable to face his own feelings?
He had already lost his best friend and little brother today, and he had probably just lost Donna forever too. How stupid could he have been to let his feelings get in the way and sleep with her again? Although, if Harvey was honest with himself, he didn't regret any of it. They had always been the perfect pair, both at work and in bed. They couldn't continue this act of tip toeing over each other, it was obvious that their feelings were stronger for each other.
Harvey had felt an overwhelming happiness when she had mentioned her love for him earlier. His mind was thrown back to that night, a year ago, when he had said, 'You know I love you Donna'. He had left the feeling uncertain. But he did love her. He just wasn't certain that's what it was. He had never really seen proper love between two people. When he was younger his Mom always told his Dad that she loved him. But he knew that deep down she hadn't. That she was sleeping with other men.
Of course, Harvey could see the love in his Father's eyes that had blinded him of what was happening in his own house. But that just caused him to feel angry. How could his Father have been so stupid? It was right under his nose.
Mike was the one who had shown Harvey what true love was. The way he had looked at Rachel since the first day he worked here was different. Almost a pure anguished look that said I want to be with you forever. Harvey realised that it was the same way he looked at Donna for the past 12 years. He felt that emptiness in his heart when he thought of his former associate turned junior partner. This was going to be a difficult two years when there were memories of Mike in every area of the offices.
Harvey had to admit that he had also been terrified. Terrified at the idea that he would lose her, that he would mess up the whole thing. No way was he pitying her. How could he pity Donna? She was the most incredible Women he had ever met.
He really hoped, beyond all hope, that she would give him a chance. A chance to prove that he could do this. He could make her happy. That he wouldn't run at the first chance. But she was probably long gone by now. Donna had given him plenty of chances, it was probably for the best that he give her an out. Let her go and try to move on.
For now, he needed to deal with Jessica and Louis. Find a way to get them all out of this mess and hopefully win back their trust. He was devastated, watching as his family fell apart. This was a tough situation, that they needed to get through together, but never had they all been so divided. He would never be able to get through this without their full support.
Harvey stopped and gave himself one last second of peace before he had to get his shit together. He treasured every millisecond and took one final breath before bracing himself. He walked into the conference room with his shoulders hunched. This was going to be difficult.
As he entered the room, all Harvey could hear was Louis' nonchalant voice, ranting and rambling. Jessica was sat at the head of the table, with both her feet crossed and up on the table. She looked almost asleep. Louis was leant against the window, but only just keeping himself balanced. He was waving his hands about and slurring dramatically.
"Jessica, we can do this without him. Stop panicking. You once said, "Pearson would always consider Litt her partner." We can rebuild this without that stupid Specter. He got us in this mess anyway, by hiring that silly college dropout."
Harvey, despite being hurt by the mans words, couldn't help but laugh.
"Louis, are you drunk?"
Louis turned around gobsmacked. He looked horrified.
"I'll have you know, I haven't had a drop of alcohol. Just some good old fashioned weed." As he said this, Louis turned to reveal the rolled up joint in his hand. Harvey then recognised the musky smell, that he was familiar with from Mike's old apartment block.
Jessica had awoken now and was fully alert.
"Harvey, thanks for finally joining us." She said, her tone gruff, dismissively.
Harvey's expression turned guilty. "I'm sorry, I had some shit to sort out."
"Well, if you hadn't noticed there is some shit to sort out here." Jessica's serious face finally broke into a hilarious laughter. She held her sides as she fell off the chair, struggling to catch her breath.
"Sorry, I can't take you seriously when you look so serious." She finally managed to say hysterically.
Harvey managed a smile before taking one of the already prepared joints off the table. He held it between his fingers but just as he was about to light it, Louis came tumbling through the air, and knocked him to the ground.
"Louis, what the hell are you doing?" Harvey said, groaning. He was sat precariously on the floor with Louis flat out on top of him.
"Don't do it to yourself Harvey. You'll become addicted and fall into a deep despair, with nothing left in your life. All of your friends will disown you."
Louis then looked around scared.
"The voices have already started." He then shrunk into the corner.
"Don't worry Louis, this is perfectly safe. Me and Jessica have done it before."
Harvey winked at Jessica with the fond memories of the time in her office. Louis looked horrified.
After a few puffs Harvey set the joint out and sat down. Louis was still cowered in the corner with his hands over his ears like a petrified little animal. But Jessica had managed to find her way back to a chair and was sat fiddling through some files.
"Is this the newspaper stand guy?" Harvey asked innocently.
"Nope." Jessica replied, smiling.
"Coffee cart guy?" Harvey looked confused.
But Jessica's smile broadened, "I have many contacts Harvey."
"You have a drug dealer?" Harvey gasped and Louis looked up in shock. Jessica didn't reply, but was still smirking quietly.
"So, I leave you guys alone for a couple of hours and instead of getting to business, you get high?" Harvey raised his eyebrows at them both.
"At least we didn't sleep with one another." Jessica looked at Harvey knowingly and he turned away from her, glowering. Instead he changed the subject.
"You know who would love this?" Harvey looked at both his partners. Louis looked confused but Jessica nodded compassionately.
"Mike." She said matter of factly. "Your missing him aren't you?" She smiled at Harvey, reminiscing about how much he had changed since she had first met him in the post room. Often Jessica put that change to her brilliant mentoring, but she knew that the person who had really changed Harvey for the better was Mike. She had long since forgiven him for hiring the young and misplaced kid. Without him, they would probably be in a bigger mess.
Louis stared at Harvey, "I always knew that kid was a drug dealer!" He exclaimed with pride.
"How do you think I hired him?" Harvey smirked. "He was running away from the cops with a briefcase full of weed when he stumbled into my interview."
"So, why the fuck did you hire him?" Louis had slightly more anger in his tone now, and he looked at Harvey with his eyes wide.
"He beat me." Harvey said.
Harvey was looking out the window onto the skyline. It was late now and lights were beginning to disappear, meaning that the stars in the dark, cloudless sky were beginning to appear. He was remembering all the good times that him and Mike had shared over the years, along with all the bad, of course. One night that stuck out was the evening that they both got high together in his old apartment and then came up with the plan to rid Daniel Hardman.
"He should be here, helping us get out of the hole. But instead, he's taking the easy way out in prison." Harvey, Jessica and Louis all smiled at each other, despite the situation.
"His genius mind would be useful. He was always good at getting us out of the shit." Louis responded.
Harvey sighed, taking a moment to prepare himself. He had to say this, and there wouldn't be a better time than now, where he could just blame it on the weed. This is why he always used to remain unattached, separated from the feelings that would make him weak. But now, he had a family that he cared about, other than his little doofus brother who lived out of state.
"Look, I never said I was sorry for hiring Mike. But I am. I took a huge risk and it backfired on all of us. This is all my fault and I sincerely apologise to you both."
He took a deep breath, unable to look up at the judgement of the other two partners. The silence was unbearable.
"I promise I will work 24/7 for the foreseeable future in order to rebuild this firm and restore it to your former glory. Louis, there's no man I would want more as my partner in a situation like this. You really are a genius. And Jessica, you gave me a chance when I really needed it and I really am sorry for what I've done to ruin what you've worked so hard to achieve."
The room fell to silence once more as Harvey considered whether he should say more. He didn't have much practice at this sharing all your feelings business. For a brief second, he felt highly exposed, as if he was standing there naked.
But then he looked up in surprise, as Jessica exploded in a fit of childish giggles and Louis also started cackling with laughter. Harvey looked at them both with a hurt pout. He had thought they were taking him seriously. Then he released the breath he wasn't aware he was holding and joined their contagious laughter. Were they going to get anywhere tonight?
As all 3 partners struggled to compose themselves, Harvey poured them all a drink and passed round the joint.
"Has anyone ever told you that your stoned is depressing Harvey?" Louis asked teasingly.
Harvey smiled briefly to mask his guilt and pain. He was returned again to that night many years ago when him and Mike had got high together and he had finally opened up about his Father and his Mother's infedility. Mike, still devastated from the death of his Grandma, had said those exact words and then told him never to get high again. The kid would be annoyed that he had missed this.
Harvey had to turn his mind from his thoughts and get more productive. So he sat down at the table, pulling up details of his potentially former clients. As he sat down and got to work, so did Jessica and Louis. They sat in silence, hard at work, occasionally asking a question to one another. Harvey looked at the time to see that it was only 8pm. He would be able to call and reassure some major clientele before the news broke officially in the morning. So he pulled the phone over and started dialling.
But he found as he placed the phone to his ear, that nothing was actually happening. So he redialled the number and instead put the phone on speaker, but still the phone was making no indicative sound. After several more tries, Harvey began getting rather frustrated and took the anger out on the phone, much to Jessica and Louis' amusement.
He slammed it down one last time and shouted "for fuck sake". Louis, highly amused, came over to try the number himself. But the smug grin was wiped off of his face, when after several attempts, he also couldn't get the phone to work. Both Harvey and Louis argued until it got on Jessica's nerves, so she walked over to there side of the table, dialled the number and waited for the phone to work. But, none of the three partners could get the phone to work. They were all getting very frustrated, arguing among each other, until Louis had a realisation.
"Where's Donna when you need her?" Both of the partners looked at Harvey, Louis with a questioning expression and Jessica with a frown.
Harvey turned away from them both and muttered under his breath, "I sent her to look after Rachel."
Jessica nodded at this, knowing that it wasn't the right time to press Harvey on the issue. It was getting late for her, as she had been up since 5am that morning and so she grabbed her bag and started heading back to her office, instructing her two boys to get some rest so they could kick ass in the morning.
Harvey nodded to her, signalling a goodbye, but when he turned around, Louis was glowering at him.
"You slept with her again?" He asked, his face straight.
At this Harvey looked surprised, "again?" He questioned. He was sure that he hadn't told Louis, and didn't think Donna would have either.
But this exclamation by Harvey gave Louis all the information he needed and his clouded thoughts (due to the weed) was not helping him think rational. He swung his arm towards Harvey's face who just managed to duck the blow.
Louis was shaking his hand, which had slammed into the back of Harvey's chair where the latters head had been just moments previously.
Harvey stared at Louis in shock, but now he swung open handed at Harvey who, due to the shock didn't manage to move out of the way in time. Harvey's head was thrown sideways causing his neck to click awkwardly.
Louis was as red as a beetroot. "Donna told me about 'the other time'. First Elsa and now this. How could you be so stupid Harvey? We've already lost everything, so you just throw Donna into the mix too?"
Harvey was trying to get Louis to listen, despite his own humiliation but the short head man was overflowing with anger and was suddenly throwing himself at Harvey again, who just managed to block his boisterous blows.
Just as Harvey was beginning to fight back, with no other choice but the keep Louis off him and try and prevent damage to them both, he felt arms pushing them both apart and was staring into the familiar eyes and red head, who had dragged him into the corner with unbelievable strength. Harvey's adrenaline started to calm and he looked over to the other side of the room, where Jessica was pushing Louis back and talking to him quietly in a hushed tone.
His attention turned to Donna with a undeniable happiness that she was still here, that she hadn't left him and he began thanking her for getting him out of there. But his happiness soon faded when he saw the sorrowful look on her usually upbeat face.
"Harvey-" she was crying, the tears streaming down her cheeks, causing her voice to come out in a muffled tone.
"Harvey-" she was crying, the tears streaming down her cheeks, causing her voice to come out in a muffled tone.
Harvey held her in his arms, comforting her, petrified of what she was about to say. After 30 seconds of terrified dread, he pulled her away slightly, so he could look directly at her and forced himself to put on a straight and determined face.
"Donna, tell me what's happened."
But she just shook his head and Harvey pulled her back into her arms steadily. Never had he seen her so distressed and it broke his heart.
"Shh," he hushed. "Tell me when you can."
So he stood, almost cradling his secretary, brushing the hair out of her face, until her voice croaked.
"It's Rachel."
Harvey felt his worst fears come to life as he imagined every possible scenario.
"She's been in a car accident. We have to get to the hospital."
Donna broke down in sobs again, and Harvey too shocked to properly process her revelation pulled her back into his arms.
He looked over to the other side of the conference room, into Jessica's grave face that was lit up by moon and starlight. Thats what finally realised how real the situation was. Jessica never got upset over anything.
