Growing Up Chase
By Rebel Yell
Lizzie's Boyfriend (age 24)
Part Two
" Robert David Chase that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Nothing could make me not like you! I love you!"
" So did Dad! And Mum! And they both…changed their minds. Mum because of the drink, and Dad because of…well, I think because of me. Although Catherine certainly doesn't help. She doesn't like me, and he loves her, and that's more important than the fact that he used to love me. Or at least, he used to say it. When I was little. I can remember, if I really try. He used to say it some nights, when he tucked me in. But he hasn't even seen me in years because the woman he loves hates me. If David hates me, you'll send me away too. So…if he doesn't know me, he can't hate me. And you won't make me leave."
" Did I stop loving you when my parents said we couldn't be friends?"
" No." He was whispering, curling into himself, and Liz wanted to wrap him in a hug, but she had a point to make first.
" I love my parents. They don't like you. I'm still your best friend."
" It's different with spouses."
" Why?"
" I don't know. It just is. Jen likes me, so she hasn't made Dan choose. If David made you choose, you'd choose him." He sounded so sure of that, so completely certain that if she had to choose between David and him, she'd pick David. Liz wasn't so sure herself. As much as she loved David, she couldn't imagine a world without Robbie in it. It'd be almost like…losing an emotional limb.
" No one is making me choose."
" They always do. It always comes down to that. We're weird, you and I, Liz. This thing between us, no one understands it except Danny and Jen and Colin. It's not sex at all, there's hardly a woman on Earth I'd less want to have sex with. But I do love you. And…I can't…not again. So long as David doesn't feel threatened, he won't make you choose. And I can stay."
" Is…Danny said the last fight with Amy, last year, it wasn't pleasant. Is that what it was about? She made you choose?"
" She was upset. We were sleeping together, it was just sleep but she was still upset and she…said it was you or her. I couldn't have both. They've all said it, eventually. That if I love you, I can't love them. They don't understand it's not the same sort of love."
" You chose me. Every time…that's why you keep breaking up with all the women you date, the ones you've introduced me to."
" All but Clara. She dumped me because she found a better guy. Nothing to do with you."
" You don't think I'd choose you?" Liz asked, running her fingers through his soft hair. She couldn't imagine Robbie making that choice, between a girlfriend and a best friend. He might have horrible taste in girlfriends, but he'd truly loved some of them.
" No one does. I'm sure David's a great guy, but even great guys won't like our relationship, love. So…I'm giving you space. I want everything to go perfectly for you. I want you to be happy. He makes you happy. So…if I have to miss a few dinners and entertain myself a few afternoons, that's fine. It's all right, so long as he makes you happy."
" You are one of the sweetest people I've ever met." She meant it. He was painfully sweet, so earnest and so genuine. He wanted so badly to take care of the people he loved, to make sure they always had what they needed, or wanted. Still, it was sometimes aggravating. "But I invited David along so he would get to know you. I'm sure he'll love you, just like Jen has come to do. Right now, he thinks you don't like him, or you're jealous or something."
" He seems nice enough. Dan loves him already. They've a lot more in common than Dan and I do, that's certain. I'm not jealous. I don't want you like that. I'm happy for you, honestly. I just…I know what's going to happen."
" No, you don't. Look at me, Robert. I love you. You are my best friend, with Danny. I am never going to stop loving you. I am never going to stop wanting to see you as much and as often as I possibly can. It doesn't matter if I marry David, those things will never change. Some aspects of our relationship will change, yes. But I'll still love you."
" And…if he makes you choose? If he says you can't love us both?"
" I'd choose you." That truth had come to her over the course of the conversation. She loved David, very much. If he asked her to marry him, she'd say 'yes'. She didn't think it would occur to him to make such a demand, but if he did, he wouldn't be the type of man she thought he was, and not the kind she'd marry.
" Why?"
" You love me. You've never asked anything of me--"
" I'm the most demanding person in your life! I think you spend half your time keeping me from doing stupid things."
" Robbie, let me finish. You'd never ask anything like that. All you've proven just now is that you'd rather that I was happy, even if that made you unhappy, than risk making me unhappy just to preserve your own happiness. That's why I'd choose you."
"You deserve to be happy. God knows I don't make anyone happy. I try but…that's not important right now. Go, spend your holiday with David. I'm sure you've got lots of night-time entertainment planned." Robbie grinned and winked at her, and Liz felt herself blush. "Leave me to the film marathon and my caffeine to drown my sorrows. Go on."
" Tomorrow, Robbie Chase, you aren't getting away from me. You and David and I are going to go surfing, and you're going to teach him how, because I'm a horrible teacher. Trust me, he'll like you. You are lot more irresistible than you think." Liz commanded, as she went to the door. He was still sitting on the bed, knees pulled to his chest, looking small and very young, but he looked a bit happier. He was so convinced he would inevitably be the person asked to leave, that he nearly sabotaged himself -- she'd watched him do it in romantic relationships, even at work, and now with her. Sometimes, she really wanted to slap him. Then again, sometimes, she did hit him. Thus far, she hadn't been able to slap the sense into him.
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At the end of the week, Liz was fairly confident that Robbie had gotten over his belief that David would make her choose between them. He was still acting very differently, keeping a physical distance between them that she wasn't used to, but he was at least spending most of his time with her, David, Jen and Danny. He took only the occasional foray into beach-babe distraction. She had been proven right, as well, that David quite liked him. Even despite the fact that his surfing lessons had resulted in a blackened eye and some serious muscle-soreness, and Robbie hadn't stopped teasing him about either that or the fact that David wasn't very good at any of the sport they tried. According to Robbie, it was because he sat behind a desk all day while Robbie was on his feet and moving. Robbie teased Danny similarly, except that Danny was quite good at both volleyball and rugby (and was decent at surfing), and generally just rugby-tackled Robbie when he was teasing like that. Some day, she hoped, David would feel comfortable enough to join in that sort of mock-fighting between her boys. Still, he seemed to be fitting in well, and she was unreasonably happy with that. In fact, even with the early Robbie-drama, it had turned out to be one of her favorite holidays they'd taken.
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"'lo?" Rob managed to answer the phone on what he guessed was probably the sixth ring. It was late, nearly midnight, and he had to be in the ICU (and hopefully awake) by 6:45 am. If it was the hospital, they'd have paged him rather than rung, which left a limited number of people who would call him at midnight on a Tuesday.
" Robbie?"
" Lizzie, what's wrong?" She sounded like she was crying, and he sat, suddenly a lot closer to being awake.
" I'm sorry to call so late, I know you have to work in the morning."
" Forget that, what's wrong?"
" Can I come over? I'd rather talk in person."
" Of course you can, love." Rob agreed, although that definitely meant that he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. If Lizzie came over, it'd be at least an hour conversation. And he had to be up in…less than six hours as it was.
" Good. I'm…downstairs already."
" Right. I'll come let you in." He rolled out of bed, and stumbled downstairs to pull open the front door, and sure enough found Liz standing on the veranda. She was crying hard enough at this point that she didn't even try to talk to him, just threw herself into his arms. He managed to shut the door without releasing her (or her releasing him, since he was pretty sure she had a better hold on him than he had on her), and walked her into the family room. The living room, which was closer, was still too much his mother's room -- he never went in it. Johanna even kept the decanter in the same place it had always been, just waiting for his mother to come back for another drink.
Rob just held her, settling Liz into his chest as he settled himself on the sofa, and let her cry whatever it was out of her system. She'd been acting off, rather moody and short with everyone, for the last few weeks, but she'd refused absolutely to talk about whatever was bothering her. Whatever it was, he was going to hear about it tonight. He smoothed her hair gently, rocked her a little, and made those soft noises that people seemed to find comforting, and just waited for her to be able to talk to him. Finally, she began to calm, and he stopped petting her hair, opting instead to put his hand under her chin so she'd actually look at him.
" Lizzie, what's the matter?"
" David and I…it wasn't working any longer and...we've broken up."
" I'm sorry." Rob said softly, although he suspected she didn't hear, since she was crying again. He let her curl back into his chest, ignoring the fact that it sort of tickled, tears on his bare chest, and went back to the gentle soothing motions.
" It's…not…your…fault."
" I should've beaten him to a pulp the minute I met him. Just as a warning, in case he hurt you. See what happens when Dan doesn't let me warn people? I wanted to scare the crap out of him, so he'd never dare hurt you. The day you said you were bringing him on holiday, I said 'kill him'. Dan stopped me from killing him, for ten months. This is the thanks I get for restraining my murderous impulses. I'd still do it, if you like."
"Robbie, you can't." She was half-laughing through the tears though, and that had been his real goal. He couldn't stand it when people he loved were crying, he just wanted to make it better immediately. He was a 'fixer' in that way -- he wanted to fix problems, and he liked quick fixes. He didn't really want to fix people, he just hated feeling helpless when his loved one's needed him. They outlined the problem, and he fixed it for them. That was his nature.
" Believe me, I could. I could absolutely, remorselessly, murder him right now."
" What for? Breaking up with me? It wasn't just his fault."
" Making you cry." Rob replied, and he meant it utterly.
" You can't kill him for that, Robbie."
" Why not? I'd gladly kill anyone who ever hurts you."
" I love you, Robbie Chase." Liz sighed, cuddling into his chest even more closely. It felt rather like she was trying to curl into his chest, literally -- as though she wanted to climb into his skin with him. It was late, she was clearly both exhausted and upset, and he was tired as well. Rob prodded her gently, and when she looked up to meet his eyes, he managed a tight smile.
" Let's go upstairs, go to bed. We can talk in the morning, before I have to go in to work, but I think you need some sleep first. Come on, bedtime."
" Am I…we haven't in awhile, but can I…"
" Of course you can sleep in with me, love. Have I ever turned you out?"
" No. You're so good to me, Robbie."
" Not nearly so good as you deserve." He practically carried her up the stairs, headed towards his bedroom. He pulled her inside, and pushed her to sit on the bed. Without speaking, he simply started to undress her, a task she quickly took over. When she got past her shirt and jeans, he moved to his dresser, and brought her a pair of his boxers and her favorite t-shirt (technically, Rob owned it, but it seemed Lizzie wore it more often than he did). Liz put them on, and did that thing girls do that lets them take off their bra without removing their shirt. She slipped under the covers, then gestured for him to join her. He did, and she promptly curled around him. She started sniffling again, and he knew she'd be crying again in a minute. He held her tighter, and tried to tell himself the many reasons why he couldn't murder David. Even the Fifth Commandment wasn't being particularly persuasive, when he felt tears begin to hit his chest. Arrest, imprisonment, even Hell, it had nothing on holding your best friend while she cried her eyes out and you couldn't do anything to make the hurt stop. All he could was hold her, whisper soft nothings to her, and give her someone to cling to through the pain. It wasn't much, but then sometimes, being a friend meant helping as much as you could with what you could, and just being there for the rest.
