Disclaimer: I do not own sgt frog.
I'm going to try to write a story from Saburo's perspective. Wish me luck. I've had this idea in my head since I was in the hospital in February and almost died so it's nice to finally get it out.
First chapter is mostly the set up and the prologue. I'll try to be nice to Saburo. For me, who makes no secret that he's not my most favorite character (but now no longer my least since I'm personally not a New Keroro fan at all) this will be a difficult task.
Especially since I'm no good at fluff either. And this is entirely a fluff story.
I need to get a cover image for this fic. But I don't know what one.
Throwing his reality pen in the air and spinning it around, Saburo stood on the rooftop of his old high school, looking at the things below him and the people.
Looking down on things seemed much more Kululu's thing, not his. He preferred staring at the clouds.
Saburo was a dreamer by nature.
Sighing he leaned back onto the tiles of the roof to look at the sky.
The time for dreaming was over though. High school had ended. What everyone would call his fun life as a teenager was now over and he had to focus on this odd word called 'responsibility.'
The colleges he had applied to had told him if he was accepted or not and now he had to choose between them. Although his grades weren't that great because of his high number of absences, his IQ was pretty high and a few colleges had really wanted him to come to them.
There was one in particular he was interested in, but he wasn't 100% sure. It was a college far away in America so it would mean he'd have to study abroad but it taught more about entertainment and drama like he wanted. His aim was to make Mutsumi last forever, not get some boring desk job after all.
He had seen one being stuck in one boring job all your life could do to someone. He didn't want to turn into a man child like Keroro, or a big old grump like Giroro, or someone who bitterly took out their own miseries on others like Kululu.
But he wasn't sure still where to go. He had to do something he really dreaded- research.
"You're here, Saburo." Kululu opened the door to the rooftop and walked out to see him. This was where he and Saburo had met and it always brought back memories for him.
Saburo closed his eyes smiling. "You got my text. I knew you'd get here eventually. But no rush."
"Ku, ku, ku. You been waiting long?" Kululu asked. Kululu tried to lean against the wall and act cool.
"Only an hour." Saburo checked his watch. He threw over some pamphlets to Kululu.
"What are these?" Kululu asked, glancing through them. "I already told you I'm no Dororo. I'm not doing your homework for you. Ku, ku, ku." He teased.
"Not like I did my homework anyway." Saburo laughed. He was a procrastinator and he didn't mind that.
Kululu was glad he owned up to it, unlike Keroro. Ick. It would be terrible if my friend turned into someone like the captain.
"They're college pamphlets. I'm trying to choose where I should go." Saburo explained, "I thought you might offer some good advice. I want a place with a good entertainment program, and you analyze these things better than I do."
Kululu tiredly looked through the pamphlets. None of these are particularly close. He realized. The closest one was across the country. So Saburo was going far off for college. "Ku, ku, ku. I don't know. Just pick one."
He was rather vague. His mouth twitched in irritation as if he didn't like any of them.
"Do you not like them?" Saburo asked, sitting up and glancing at Kululu.
"It's- It's not that." Kululu shrugged, "I mean keron doesn't have a college system so I'm a bit unused to more schooling. Seems more like a punishment than a reward for finishing up. Ku, ku, ku." He was silent for a moment as Saburo waited for him to tell him the problem. "So...You're going away, for how long?"
"If I go to the one in Japan I'll come back during the breaks possibly. The ones in the other countries though..." Saburo bit his lip, "Even with the reality pen helping me travel I'll be busy with internships and things. So earliest I'll be back is in four years."
"Pekoponian years..." Kululu clarified. Pekoponian years were a lot longer than Keronian years. His face seemed to look a bit glum, but he just nodded.
He didn't try to dissuade Saburo from his choices. He instead stood by his friend's dreams.
"You wouldn't miss us? Ku, ku, ku. Aliens sure cause some amusement in your life, don't they?" Kululu teased.
"I can find more aliens. And I'm not too worried about you guys invading." Saburo stood up, putting his hands in his pockets, "Natsumi and Fuyuki are more than enough to handle you guys." He knew Natsumi would be going off to college in a year's time, and Fuyuki would be going off in three years but likely Fuyuki would go somewhere close by because Momoka would build a college in his honor.
That girl sure has an obsession. Saburo wanted to laugh at Momoka's love for Fuyuki, still unrequited and chasing after him over all these years. It was as if nothing had really changed since their time in middle school. Nothing had been resolved and no developments had happened between anyone at all. People were still struggling to chase their dreams- and falling quickly flat.
So the invasion issue was all sorted out. It would fall flat to like everything else.
He waited for Kululu to say something else. "Why? You going to miss me?" Saburo teased.
"Eh, I can get by fine without you. Ku." Kululu replied and tossed the pamphlet onto the ground in a crumpled ball. He was bored of looking at it. "I don't know pekoponian colleges very well, I can't much help with this sort of thing."
Saburo frowned. Kululu was brushing him off. Although he liked having long moments of silence and deep thought with Kululu where they just looked at the clouds, this was important and he wanted Kululu's help.
"Oh! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu sat down on the side of the roof, dangling his legs over the edge, "I forgot to tell you about this great prank I thought up on the platoon, I'm going to manipulate Captain into asking me to make an invention to turn them into insects and then I'll trap them in a jar...I call it operation 'lord of the flies'"
He was changing the subject. Saburo frowned.
"That seems kind of harsh." Saburo laughed. "What if they die in the jar?"
"Giroro hasn't yet." Kululu said honestly as if Giroro was already in the jar. Saburo almost expected him to bring up a jar and start tapping on it.
Saburo's eyes widened. Kululu was good at subject changing, but not perfect. He could see that the pamphlets Kululu had tossed to the ground were in tight balls as if he had crumpled them in anger. Kululu's hands were twitching as he tried to keep them balled up in fists. It was his little tells that he was irritated at Saburo. Angry at him for doing nothing wrong.
If there was one thing he worried about leaving it was Kululu, not because he would cause trouble and needed to be watched- that wasn't ever Saburo's job, but because he was worried Kululu would miss him. I'm sure he'll be fine. Saburo tried to tell himself. Kululu didn't seem that bugged out about him going to college.
They'd stay in touch over the computer. Kululu would be fine.
"You sure you won't miss me even a little bit?" Saburo teased again.
"Please." Kululu looked irritated, "I'll be happy to have you gone. I won't need to bail you out all the time over dumb things. Ku, ku, ku."
His words seemed casual, but Saburo wondered if that was what Kululu really thought.
Saburo wasn't dense. He was rather observant, smart and witty. And it didn't take long for him to realize in the conversation that Kululu would actually miss him quite a great deal. Whenever the subject of Saburo leaving came up Kululu would brush it aside and talk about something else.
Not only that but when Saburo did try to honestly talk to Kululu, Kululu would get annoyed and feel like he was stuck in a corner sounding a little irritated at him.
I bet he's not used to losing people. Saburo realized with great dread. Kululu was a fun guy to hang around with, but he was a little socially awkward. Social norms weren't a cue that Kululu was smart about and he seemed inexperienced in the ways of friendship. Heck, it had taken years for Kululu to admit that Saburo was his friend and not his wave-buddy.
Kululu was clearly hurt that Saburo was leaving for a long time. And Saburo didn't know what to do to fix that. He couldn't, and more importantly he wouldn't give up his dreams just because Kululu wanted him to.
And that was another problem. Kululu didn't want him to. He was honestly being a good friend and not asking Saburo to not go. He didn't feel right asking Saburo to choose him over his dreams.
Kululu was a good friend, and Saburo really didn't want him to be so hurt over this.
"You know..." Saburo was quiet for a moment. It was time to stop joking around and stop looking at the clouds.
It was time to have a rare deep conversation with Kululu, something neither of them very much liked. When feelings came up neither of them particularly liked talking about it. "I'd leave eventually anyway. Our lifespans are different. Someday I'd age and die. What were you planning to do then?" Saburo asked.
Kululu clearly didn't look like he was very good at coping with people leaving. He seemed very angry and irritated, but most of all shocked like he hadn't ever expected to be asked that question, like that somehow wouldn't happen.
"What kind of question is that?" Kululu looked annoyed.
"I want to talk about our feelings, emotions, that sort of stuff." Saburo leaned on the ground sideways. "What are you planning on doing while I'm gone?"
Kululu stood up and walked towards the doors down to the rest of the school. "I'm not the type of guy who likes these sort of conversations about feelings. That's not my thing. I thought you of all people would respect that."
"Because you're inexperienced with emotions?" Saburo asked.
Kululu glared at him. "No. Because I'm a jerk, idiot. All my emotions are raw evil things. Talking about them just seems so childish and sappy." He turned the doorknob. "Anyway, good-bye. Have fun at loser school."
And with that Kululu was gone. Saburo just rubbed his forehead as Kululu left. He knew when his friend was irritated, even if Kululu wouldn't admit it.
Saburo didn't really hang out with the platoon or anyone else that Kululu had much interaction with at the same time Kululu did, but even without being in the area Saburo wasn't ignorant.
Kululu didn't really have many other friends besides Saburo and without Saburo most likely he would isolate himself instead of searching out others. Although Kululu liked to pretend he was a cool guy he didn't really seek out the companionship of others on his own terms. He either didn't know how, or didn't want to.
Still Saburo didn't want to be lonely. He spent the afternoon at the Hinata house to confirm his fears that Kululu wasn't exactly close to anyone else besides him.
"S-saburo!" Natsumi stuttered. Even after so many years she still had a childish crush on him which Saburo liked to chose to ignore. If she hadn't told him yet he had no reason to reject her, he could just ignore it.
"I was wondering if I could have some tea and cookies." Saburo smiled. Natsumi nodded eagerly sitting him down.
Saburo's eyes flicked around as he watched Fuyuki and Natsumi deal with their respective keronians. Fuyuki was trying to make sure Keroro didn't invade by giving him friendship speeches and Natsumi was teasing Giroro by flirting with Saburo, normal stuff like that.
He waited for Kululu to enter the room to steal some curry. Eventually Kululu entered the kitchen, balancing a plate of curry on his head.
"Natsumi, Fuyuki." He glared at them.
"Kululu." Natsumi frowned, "What do you want, pest?" She glared.
"Ku, ku, ku. Nothing. I would think you would be the one who wanted something." Kululu smirked.
"What do you mean?" Natsumi asked.
"Ku, ku, ku..." Kululu just laughed sinisterly.
Natsumi opened the refrigerator door quickly. All of her food had been replaced by squirming living creatures and alien food with eyes. She screamed.
"Kululu...Why?" Fuyuki just asked, "I mean alien stuff is cool, but that was disgusting. What are we supposed to eat?"
Kululu shrugged, "Not my problem!" He hummed and left out through his floor panels.
Natsumi and Fuyuki cried.
Saburo frowned. Just as he suspected Kululu's relationship with the Hinata's were awful.
"Sorry, Saburo...I know he's your friend, but geez...He's awful. Did he do that to your fridge too?" Natsumi asked.
"On occasion." Saburo admitted.
Natsumi just scowled.
"You're so brave, Saburo. So brave." Fuyuki gulped and pat him on the back.
Eventually Saburo went to his weekly shogi matches with Dororo. Dororo would give him unbiased opinions of if Kululu had friends.
Dororo was beating him in the current match, which gave Saburo the opportunity to talk.
"I...I have to ask...How does Kululu act like with the rest of the platoon? I mean, is he friends with them?" Saburo asked desperately and quickly.
Dororo laughed. Really laughed. "Oh...You were serious." He said after a second.
Things weren't budding well.
"How bad is it?" Saburo winced. "Do any of them like him?"
"Well, I...I don't really like him much honestly. I mean he always forgets about me on purpose!" Dororo cried, "He's so mean. But his relationship with me is nothing like his relationship with Giroro. Man is that terrible." He shuddered.
"Tell me." Saburo requested.
"Giroro's his guinea pig, he tests all sorts of lab experiments on him and winds him up. Giroro in return shoots at him and physically injures him. They're the worst relationship I've ever seen on Pekopon. And I've seen Tamama and Mois." Dororo scowled.
Saburo laughed. He had to. That was pretty bad.
"Then there's Keroro. Keroro's pretty terrible towards everyone, but Kululu just doesn't personally like him. Thinks he's incompetent. Picks on him less than the rest cuz he's the captain, but still picks on him and exploits his idiocy." Dororo explained, "I think he just plain dislikes Tamama. He picks on him too. So nobody in the platoon really likes him."
Saburo frowned. So none of his platoon mates were his friends like he suspected. I mean I feel bad for Kululu but I also can't blame them. It sounds like Kululu was pretty awful.
Kululu had no friends. That was plain and simple. Although Saburo didn't really want to get into it, he realized he was going to have to roll up his sleeves and step into some emotional crap and try to fix Kululu's problems before he left or else Kululu would be lonely and miserable forever and likely take it out on other people.
Kululu and me aren't the type to get into deep emotional stuff. But he needs someone looking after him while I'm gone. Saburo sighed. It would be his gift to Kululu.
He rubbed his hands together. What he needed was a replacement for the time he usual spent with Kululu. He needed to find the perfect replacement and train them to spend time with Kululu.
Saburo smiled. So he had figured out the solution for the problem- Kululu's loneliness.
I like to keep things casual, and Kululu does too, but I truly care for him as my best friend and wave buddy. Saburo sighed. They were alike and friends but they didn't have everything in common. Kululu for example was very socially awkward and anxious. He was bad with people.
So Saburo briefly wondered if this was what Kululu would really want. A new friend to replace Saburo.
NAH. Saburo realized suddenly. Kululu wouldn't be happy with a full replacement. What the real problem was was that Kululu needed someone who put him above everything else, including school and other things.
What Kululu needed to fix his loneliness was someone who would care him more than Saburo could.
Even better idea, Saburo! As a going away present I'll get him a girlfriend or boyfriend. Saburo grinned. That should make him happy. He'd be less lonely because he'd have someone to do things with whenever he wanted, he could focus his attention on them instead of Saburo leaving and it would be pretty awesome to set his friend up.
It wasn't like the idea of setting up Kululu with someone hadn't flittered around Saburo's face before. He had always really wanted Kululu to get with someone. But then Saburo had seen Kululu's face and had decided against it. Also he didn't really want to be in the vicinity to see them if they were kissing. It was just way too awkward. That was some things he really didn't want to see.
But now with him leaving, it gave him the perfect opportunity to set Kululu up with what someone.
He had always kind of wanted Kululu to have someone in his life. He just never really knew if Kululu wanted one, but if he was lonely a relationship might display a temporary fix, and who knows? Kululu might have become really happy.
What Saburo really wanted was to see the smile on his best friend's face when Kululu had a significant other.
He cackled wickedly to himself as he beat Dororo in the shogi game. I'm sure someone's got to be willing to date him. I mean the universe is a big place and I have a wide variety of friends.
Kululu couldn't be that unsociable and dislikable, could he?
Momoka was the first person that Saburo visited. He loved interviewing people and trying to figure out what they thought. He was an expert at it too from his radio show.
Momoka lightly set down a teacup. "What I think of Kululu?" She asked curiously. "He's scum!" She said dramatically.
Well...That was unexpected. Saburo looked appaled. Did that mean Momoka was off the list of potential suitors? Darn, it would have been nice to set him up with a rich girl. I would love to have a friend who dated riches.
"I mean sure, I suppose he helps me sometimes with Fuyuki, but he charges soooo much!" Momoka cracked her cup, looking annoyed.
Paul had another one ready.
Saburo laughed for a moment. "But would you date him?"
"He's too much like you! A jerk." Momoka growled, she looked at Saburo as if he was another love rival for Fuyuki's attention.
I gave up on Fuyuki years ago, but I guess I don't have to tell her that. He kind of liked seeing Momoka annoyed.
"Besides, I detest his ugly face." Momoka growled.
"Mistress if something happened and overnight you fell in love with Kululu I would kill him myself." Paul reassured.
"That proves that you're the best butler of them all." Momoka sighed.
And that was the end of that.
Saburo visited Koyuki and Dororo next. He supposed it would have made more sense to ask them during the shogi game, but admittedly he had forgotten. Dororo was just so easy to forget about.
"Um...Out of curiosity, what do you two think of my friend, Kululu?" Saburo asked.
Koyuki's a cute girl. I would have dated her myself if there was a chance, but she was pretty clearly disinterested. Saburo smiled. If he couldn't have Koyuki, maybe Kululu could.
"He's...Um...Unique..." Koyuki tried to be nice as she tried to smile.
Saburo raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, you hate him too?"
"Oh good, now I don't have to beat around the bush." Koyuki looked relieved, "Yeah! He's so mean. I just...I sense a sinister energy from him. That and he doesn't bathe in actual water." Koyuki's nose wrinkled in disgust. "He smells bad."
Saburo couldn't argue with that. Kululu's habits were creepy. "So no chance you'd go out with him, huh?"
"Maybe if I was brainwashed." Koyuki admitted, "But only in that scenario. Or undercover."
"I wouldn't date him either!" Dororo tried to pipe into the conversation and feel included.
"Why not?" Saburo asked.
"He's a jerk! He drew a butt on my mask that I didn't know about for days. Then one time he glued it onto my body. He changed my color to yellow, let people play around in my memories. Invented a jack in the box to torture me for weeks." Dororo started citing examples, "One time he convinced everyone to pretend that I wasn't there and didn't exist so that I thought I had gone to an alternate reality where I wasn't ever born! He purposefully forgets about me just to annoy me! He's the person I hate second most!"
Saburo could guess the first most was Keroro.
Dororo just huffed and growled.
Next up was the Hinata house and Saburo found Keroro and Tamama playing with some gundam models first. He stopped himself from asking to join them.
"Hey, nice to see you." Saburo waved.
Tamama waved back. "Whaddya want?"
"I...I uhh wanted to ask what you thought about Kululu. Do you like him? Think he's cute?" Saburo leaned on a chair. If there was one chance for Kululu having a boyfriend it was either Tamama or Keroro. They were the two gayest frogs Saburo knew.
"EWWW! No." Tamama scowled, "There's only one booty I'm going after."
Keroro looked confused. "Boo...Teh?" It was like it was a foreign word. He glanced at Tamama's butt for a moment but then quickly went back to his gundam game.
"And I'll be perfectly honest what I think of Kululu, he's a jerk! He's ruined so many of my plans to be with Mr. Sergeant- I mean to hurt that woman." Tamama corrected, glancing at Keroro who still didn't know about his major crush.
Keroro just pretended to not be listening. He had stopped questioning Tamama's very loud plans of being lovey-dovey with him.
"Also he tries to feed me disgusting healthy foods. Like vegetables! He's not a cool older mentor figure in this platoon, he's just creepy." Tamama continued.
"Couldn't have said it better myself." Keroro smiled.
"Um...Mr. Sergeant." Tamama giggled, "You don't need an older mentor figure." He pointed out.
"Oh yeah." Keroro's smile dropped. He still thought of himself as a kid.
"Kululu just won't let me be happy with my lover! So I hate him!" Tamama stuck his tongue out.
Saburo laughed and turned to Keroro. "You're the same? You...Wouldn't ever date him?" He had kind of hoped Kululu might have a chance with someone who liked Gundam. That was the mark of a superior being.
"I'm straight." Keroro looked startled that anyone would question his sexuality.
"Yeah." Tamama stuck up for Keroro for irony purposes as he sat in Keroro's lap seductively and put his arms around Keroro as if making fun of him himself. His legs wrapped around his waist and it was by far the sexiest Saburo had seen that two frogs could be. It was very weird.
"Yeah, listen to the private!" Keroro beamed as he pat Tamama's head. He didn't seem to notice the Tamama in his lap. It was too normal for him. Tamama nuzzled up to him.
"Anyway, even if I wasn't I wouldn't date Kululu of all people. I mean I'm the platoon leader so I don't mean to sound biased but...He's a jerk. He just doesn't fit in. And more importantly he keeps breaking my gundam models! How could I ever like someone like that?" Keroro asked annoyed. He wrapped a hand around Tamama's waist.
Saburo nodded. Breaking a Gundam model is an unforgivable sin. He agreed. There was no chance for Keroro or Tamama to be with Kululu.
He'd have to ask others.
Natsumi and Fuyuki were still hanging around each other and when asked the question of what they thought of Kululu, Fuyuki just shuddered for minutes.
"My...My books...The spoilers were written on the very first page!" Fuyuki cried. "And then he switched some of them with fiction! I don't care about fairy tales. I wanted to research big foot!"
Saburo pat him on the back as he cried.
Kululu might be my friend but I care too much about Fuyuki to punish him by placing him with Kululu. Saburo sighed.
He glanced at Natsumi.
Maybe this one will work. I mean Natsumi likes me of all people. She could fall for Kululu too, right? Saburo tried to smile encouragingly at Natsumi.
Natsumi just screamed. Saburo had never seen her punch through a table before, but now he had.
"AUGHH! He's broken so many of my things and trashed them!" Natsumi then punched a wall. "He's the worst. And not just that but he's creepy, he keeps making these creepy CDs of me and selling them. And then I'll find them in Giroro's tent of all places! It's all Kululu's fault."
At least he's selling them to someone. Saburo sighed. He cared too much about Kululu to set him up with someone as scary and violent as Natsumi. He decided that one wouldn't work either.
He stepped outside to talk to Giroro. Perhaps he'd have better luck with him.
"So...Out of a scale of 10 how likely would you be to spend time with Kululu?" Saburo knelt down next to him.
Giroro was the same as Natsumi. He screamed. "NEVER. Not over my cold dead body." He flexed his arms. "If you look closely I have plenty of scars. And none of them are from war. Most of them are from Kululu."
Saburo turned away.
"He turned me into a puppy! A puppy! And then he turned me into a fire hydrant. That isn't even the worst he's done to me. Soldier, you'll want to listen up. You're in danger too." Giroro grabbed Saburo and sat him down.
Saburo was forced to listen to hours of Giroro's rants about Kululu. The terrible things Kululu had done were limitless.
His eyes were twitching at the end.
At least Aki was home after all that. But Saburo didn't know how to think after hearing Giroro yell for so long.
Saburo found a moment to sneak off saying he needed the bathroom so he could talk to Aki. Aki looked tired after her long days work.
She might be the only one to like Kululu though. Saburo remembered. "Hey Aki! I was umm...Wondering..."
"Too old for you." Aki said. Apparently she was used to being hit on.
Saburo frowned, "I was wondering what you thought of Kululu." He finished.
"Oh. He's okay." Aki finally said after a little thought.
Saburo smiled. At least someone wasn't bashing Kululu.
"He doesn't quite fit in though, does he?" Aki continued talking.
"Maybe you two would fit together-" Saburo tried to suggest.
"I mean he's just that sort of unsociable character that literally nobody likes." Her eyes sparkled as if finding the opportunity to rant about manga.
Saburo grit his teeth. Uh-oh.
"I mean I have nothing personal against him, but every manga needs a character that everybody bashes on and hates. A scapegoat. Someone annoying. Kululu's that sort of creepy character in real life that will likely never go anywhere and nobody will ever be satisfied with!" Aki started ranting, relating this to real life. She continued to diss Kululu.
Saburo tried to back away. "So if this was a manga everybody would hate Kululu?" He didn't like Aki talking about his friend that way.
"Well yes. But if this was a fandom..." Aki rubbed her chin, "I think you'd be the character everyone bashes on and hates."
"What?" Saburo was surprised by that. But he was so charismatic and cool and perfect.
"Not just for your perfect personality type but because of your connection with Natsumi. In a love triangle someone is always bashed and you treat her rather coldly. I mean how many times have you saved her from an alien invasion? Giroro clearly deserves her, so likely the fandom would want you dead." Aki continued to rant.
Saburo didn't know what to say. He just backed away in shock and his ego hurting.
Eventually he reached Angol Mois who was working in the base and the last person he could interview.
"What do you think about Kululu?" He asked tiredly and ready for some more Kululu bashing. He was all out of hope, whoever Kululu wanted to be set up with would be a very tough journey for Saburo to try to convince someone why Kululu wasn't terrible.
"He's cool." Mois smiled and chipperly replied, "He's really creatively minded and fun to be around."
Saburo was surprised that it was a positive opinion. "...Really?"
Mois smiled and nodded.
"You don't mind that he's a jerk?" Saburo asked.
"He's a jerk?" Mois didn't seem to know this. She shook her head. "Never been that terrible to me."
Saburo smiled. "So...He's...Your friend?"
"Yep! I consider him a good friend. I admire him a lot." Mois grinned, happy to admit this.
Saburo sighed in relief. At least one person found Kululu tolerable. One in the whole wide world. And if something happens and I can't set him up with someone he won't be totally alone because he has Mois. Saburo remembered Kululu mentioning that they were close before. Apparently he valued her as a co-worker, whatever that meant. It was low on the compliment level but it meant something.
Maybe Mois was Saburo's best bet.
But Saburo didn't even know if Kululu wanted a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
He eventually took Kululu out for some curry take out as a ruse to figure out what romantic experience Kululu had in his life and his preferences. He had figured out what other people thought of Kululu but Kululu's interests were more important than theirs.
If Kululu wanted to be set up with someone as horrible as Natsumi for one thing, by golly Saburo would set him up with her.
"Hey, Kululu..." Saburo pretended to be distracted, "You ever dated before?"
Kululu looked shocked by the question. "Ummm...I'm not really interested. Ku, ku, ku. I appreciate the offer but I really just see you as a friend." His rejection was polite.
Saburo faltered for a moment realizing that Kululu had thought he was hitting on him. He felt shocked. "No man, that wasn't what I was getting at ALL!" Saburo denied. He felt incredibly awkward.
Kululu rubbed his arm sheepishly. "Sorry." He apologized. It was his bad.
"Well, so have you ever dated?" Saburo asked.
"Ku." Kululu realized he was asking seriously, "With my face?" he gestured. "Nope! Never had the chance." Kululu laughed, "I however do have a lot of plans on how to date someone if I get the chance. If some poor person falls hopelessly in love with me it will be the best opportunity ever to be a huge jerk. I've got a ton of break up plans and ways to be the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. Ku, ku, ku. Want to hear them?" Kululu asked. He waited for Saburo to show interest and laugh.
Saburo didn't.
"Are you into girls or boys Kululu?" Saburo asked quickly trying to figure out what Kululu wanted.
"Ku, ku, ku. Well, I'm not into YOU!" Kululu mocked.
Saburo glared. Kululu realized he was being serious again for some reason.
He shrugged after a moment of thinking about it, giving Saburo the chance to have him seriously consider this. "I don't really care when it comes to keronians. I don't much like them anyway. They're all equally disinteresting. But my biology and preference is for females, primarily of the pekoponian body type variety. Ku, ku, ku." He gave an honest answer.
Saburo smiled. Girlfriend it is then. He glanced at Kululu and gave a sinister smirk. It wasn't even about making Kululu less lonely now, he just wanted to do it for fun.
He was suddenly super determined to do this for his friend. It was maybe the most challenging intellectual thing Saburo would do, setting Kululu up.
Kululu picked his nose absent-mindidly.
Whether you like it or not I am going to find the girl of your dreams and make you fall in love! Saburo laughed to himself trying to avoid how creepy and generally unromantic his friend was.
Suddenly it hit Saburo like a brick. He didn't know what kind of girl was the girl of Kululu's dreams and to set him up with.
It was the second hardest step of his plan.
I'll go on a quest and find his type and figure out who would work well! It couldn't be that hard, right?
After that everything would be smooth sailing. Saburo tried to whistle. The task at hand...It wasn't fighting an alien invasion after all, so by that logic it wasn't as hard as it sounded.
But it was Kululu of all people. And Saburo didn't know how hard it would be.
I'm going to actually try to include author's notes on what I wrote and things like that. The reason Saburo is going off to college instead of just deciding on a whim to set Kululu up is because well, 1.) I wanted to age the humans up a bit and show that, 2.) I myself am a college student and it is easier to relate to people around the same age as me.
Ummm...Romance doesn't solve loneliness? That's a cheap thing for people to think, and it was a mistake in my chapter summary but I didn't know how to fix it.
I'm sorry there wasn't much Angol Mois in this chapter. Back when I was younger I used to have this weird shyness about not having enough of my otp or talking about them. Like I wanted to write fanfiction and instead of writing about my otp of the time (Which was shikatema, from naruto, I wrote about sasusaku because I didn't want to be selfish?) I'm always slightly afraid of getting shy like that and not pushing hard for my otp in my own fanfictions because ya know, it's my fanfictions I can do what I want.
I would very much appreciate suggestions on ways to set two people up, from your own wingman stories to shoujo sub-plots that you've seen side friends try to do. The story could possible be longer if you suggest more ideas!
Please review.
