Another chapter of this thing. I wanted to post the first two together so you guys could understand the set-up.
His quest was about to began. He shoved his pen into his pant pocket like it was a sword that he would inevitably pull from his scabbard.
As if on some sort of epic quest to save a fair maiden that was a princess, Saburo looked at Kululu's primary residence with determination.
The Hinata House. It towered tall over Saburo like any dragon's cave would, but it was where he would began his quest.
Finding Kululu's perfect maiden or match was no easy task, and Saburo wasn't sure how to first go about it.
Some people develop interests in others based how others act towards them. Saburo remembered reading on the web. Body language was an easy sign to tell if someone was interested and the mind would subconsciously like people who liked them more.
Kululu was probably the same way. He would probably think favorably of anyone who seemed to like him.
But nobody likes him! Saburo recalled. Kululu wasn't really anyone's friend, except for maybe Angol Mois. And on the brief occasions that they had talked about her Kululu had seemed rather annoyed by her obsession about Keroro. She didn't seem that into Kululu.
Maybe he's someone's type though. Even if they didn't like Kululu because his personality was terrible along with his appearance, perhaps they sub-consciously liked him at least a little bit because he was their type.
He could try to figure out what the women of the Hinata House thought, plus Koyuki and Momoka. But what type category did Kululu fit into?
Creepy jerk? Perverted stalker? Nah, be nice about this Saburo. Saburo reminded himself. He might have not been attracted to Kululu but there had to be some merit to his type.
He bit his lip trying to think about Kululu if he was a manga character. What type would he fit into? How would Saburo market him?
"The jerk with glasses." Saburo snapped his fingers. That was so Kululu. And it neglected to mention his other flaws.
If someone had this type, perhaps Kululu was more likely to like them because they would have picked up on that he was this type.
But Saburo knew nobody would probably admit this.
He knocked on the door and saw that Natsumi opened it.
"Y-you're here again!" Natsumi smiled. It was rare to see Saburo two days in a row. He tended to disappear a lot.
"Natsumi!" Saburo smiled. She was just the person he wanted to see. He grinned to himself. For once he had a plan. "I actually wanted to see you, suggest something to you."
Natsumi seemed to stand up straighter, blushing a lot. "Y-yes?" Perhaps she thought Saburo would ask her something about their relationship.
"I heard something about MyRadio. That it's super cool." Saburo shrugged, "I was thinking it would be fun to have a viewing party and gather all your friends to write letters and listen to it. I can help you guys write letters!"
Natsumi smiled. She actually really liked that idea. "And you'll be at the viewing party too, right?"
"Sure." Saburo agreed, knowing he'd ditch. After all he'd be reading their letters on air. "I have a friend in the radio business, I heard that Mutsumi's next show will only read letters about people's various 'types.'"
Natsumi gasped. "You mean...If I write a letter about my type I'll actually hear my letter being read?" She seemed shocked. The universe might explode if that happened.
Saburo nodded. "I promise you this is a definite in. Nobody else has this information!"
"I'll make all sorts of nice snacks for the viewing party!" Natsumi was so thankful. "Thank you, Saburo! That's such a fun idea!"
Saburo smiled. He was doing this for Kululu, but he also kind of just wanted to help his ratings. He was glad this would benefit him in a way.
Good thing Natsumi's such a fan. Actually a lot of Kululu's friends were fans of his radio show. Giroro was a big fan too, he noticed. Giroro had probably gotten into it to impress Natsumi.
He actually didn't know if Koyuki, Momoka or Mois listened to the radio. But now was their chance to get into it. He was sure to get some new fans after this. And figure out their type.
Saburo sat in his recording studio, going through the letters and finding the ones written by the Keroro Platoon. He hadn't made it to the viewing party but Kululu had told him that he'd look after things.
"So today on My radio we're having a special episode about love!" Saburo tried to have his sweet voice as he spoke into the speaker. "Or more specifically what type you're drawn to. What characters appeal to you most."
He couldn't see how anyone reacted. It didn't matter to him. All he needed was the letters.
"These letters are specifically about what kind of person you'd most like to date!" Saburo clarified. He realized he should have probably clarified that sooner as soon as he picked up Koyuki's.
"From Snow." He read, "The type I'm most drawn to is the ninja girl type. I'd like to be strong and cool just like them. But if there's a competition I'll shove my dagger into their back. I will beat them and rise up onto the top."
Saburo just frowned. She...She totally didn't get it. This is about what 'type' she wants to be. "Hahaha, I see one of our listeners is confused. I'll...I'll just read the next one from D66."
He picked up his letter. It had a tree drawn on it.
"Sensitive and shy, people like that who understand me are who I like best. Kindness blossoms and is the most beautiful." Saburo read. Well, I didn't care much about Dororo's opinion but that definitely isn't Kululu. At least Dororo had gotten what he was asking for.
He grabbed Momoka's letter next. He smiled. It was the first time he had gotten a Momoka letter. "The next is from someone named Peach, what kind of beautiful type will she have-" He stopped himself as he saw the words written on the letter. All it read was Fuyuki. "Umm...She says the kind boy!" He lied.
Momoka's is way too specific. That isn't Kululu either. He sighed.
Grabbing another letter, he hoped he'd have better luck with Tamama. But being a boy he didn't care. "From TMM in Oku-Tokyo, he says...I like the hot type." Saburo laughed, "I think we all do, TMM." He continued reading, "Wait...The charismatic and leaderly type. Has to have a fab butt. Ummm..."
It got way too dirty for even Saburo to read. And went into too much detail about the color green. "Next from Fuyuki! I don't think he really used any sort of code name." Saburo was briefly interested in what Fuyuki had to say. "He says the type I'm after is the loch ness monster or big foot. I've never discovered them! I'll learn all their secrets!"
Saburo wept. Yet another person who didn't understand the type thing. He sighed and went onto Keroro's letter.
"From 700..." Saburo sighed, it was Keroro, "He says 'as the main character I deserve a perfect match. I'd like a guy into gundam...And just because I said guy doesn't mean I'm gay! It's just that guys into gundam are so much more fun than girls. I just want any collectors dream of having a friend into gundam models, right? There's nothing really that gay about this and if there is someone else wrote my letter for me!" It was pages and pages of denial.
Saburo just winced. "Um...Well, sure I believe you, 700." He laughed and grabbed Giroro's next.
Giroro was the person Kululu was always harassing. "From G66, he writes, no surprise," Saburo said snarkily to himself, "The warrior type. I want a tough girl who can go across the battlefield and blow up enemy soldiers."
Saburo snickered a bit. All Giroro's letters were about war.
There were two letters left that had been written. Natsumi and Angol Mois's. Aki probably hadn't attended the party.
Saburo did the unthinkable and grabbed Natsumi's letter, ready to read it. "From 723, she writes that her type is the bad boy rebel type." No surprise there. He wondered if that was close to the jerk with glasses.
It was the closest he had. But Natsumi treated everyone but Saburo the same. Violently.
He sighed and picked up the last letter, "From Planetdestroyer666..." Saburo's eye twitched for a moment at the name. Angol Mois sure knew how to pick her codenames. "She writes,
I like people who are dorks, a little bit nerdy, you could say the cute and fun type? But intelligently dorky. No idiots here! Giroro isn't really my thing, I mean sure he talks about weapons all the time but he's how to say this...really dumb?"
Saburo snickered a bit. She had used Giroro by name as she dissed him. He continued reading.
"But ideally I'd also like to destroy things with someone! I mean how romantic would it be to destroy a city with a lover? Hand in hand causing mass chaos? I want to destroy a solar system with my lover. So they have to be someone who enjoys destruction. So my type would be the intelligent dorky person who likes destruction." Mois ended her letter with a heart.
Saburo realized she probably didn't know it needed to be a short letter, but he smiled nonetheless. Liking destruction was the closest and easiest way to say 'jerk' that he knew of without actually saying a jerk. And Kululu was an intelligent dork.
That's two strikes for Mois since she tolerates him. He was honestly surprised that she hadn't written anything about prince charming. But he was happy that her letter was at least somewhat close to Kululu's type.
Mois might be the best chance he had to love for Kululu.
Natsumi set out cookies and tea for everyone as they crowded around her radio in the living room. She was so ready for this.
"Saburo couldn't make it." Kululu told her, "Something came up. But ku, ku, ku. I'm here in his place!"
Natsumi frowned. "Joy." She sarcastically rolled her eyes. This night still couldn't be ruined even if Kululu was there. No matter what jerk thing he had she was still going to listen to Mutsumi's radio station and she was sure to actually hear her letter on air.
She sat down next to Giroro. "I'm so excited! And so many of my friends are actually going to hear Mutsumi!"
"I...I hope you enjoy it..." Giroro blushed. He wondered if Natsumi would figure out he was writing about her.
"Shhh! It's starting." Natsumi hushed excitedly. Everybody started listening. Koyuki trying to act normal since this was important to Natsumi and Dororo sitting by her side.
Keroro was surrounded by both Tamama and Mois. Momoka was trying to work up the courage to hold Fuyuki's hand.
"So today on My radio we're having a special episode about love!" Mutsumi told them.
"Yes! So Saburo was right!" Natsumi smiled.
"Urgh...I wish I had an in to Mutsumi's radio." Giroro wished.
"Kululuko does." Kululu winked. Giroro shuddered.
"Or more specifically what type you're drawn to. What characters appeal to you most." Mutsumi continued. "These letters are specifically about what kind of person you'd most like to date!"
A lot of people blushed. Fuyuki and Koyuki just glanced at each other confused.
"From Snow." Mutsumi read,
"Oooh! Mine!" Koyuki jumped up, excited.
"The type I'm most drawn to is the ninja girl type. I'd like to be strong and cool just like them. But if there's a competition I'll shove my dagger into their back. I will beat them and rise up onto the top."
Koyuki giggled. "I also am drawn to people that I'm hired to hit."
"Koyuki, this was about the type of person you like. What you think is attractive." Natsumi put her hand on her friend's shoulder embarrassed for her.
"Oh...Well then I like Natsumi and Dororo!" Koyuki declared.
Dororo blushed. Natsumi just sighed and shook her head at her confused friend.
"Hahaha, I see one of our listeners is confused. I'll...I'll just read the next one from D66." Mutsumi said sheepishly.
Dororo hid under his mask as everyone looked at him.
"Sensitive and shy, people like that who understand me are who I like best. Kindness blossoms and is the most beautiful."
"Oooohhh...Dororo has a type!" Keroro teased.
"Bet nobody understands you. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu mocked. "Kindness could blossom for you if only someone remembered you."
Dororo cried.
Mutsumi continued reading. "The next is from someone named Peach, what kind of beautiful type will she have-" There was a pause. "Umm...She says the kind boy!"
Momoka blushed. "Wait! He changed my letter! Operation confession failed!" She looked super mad and crinkled a paper.
Mutsumi continued reading. "From TMM in Oku-Tokyo, he says...I like the hot type." There was laughter "I think we all do, TMM." He continued reading, "Wait...The charismatic and leaderly type. Has to have a fab butt. Ummm..." There was a stop and Mutsumi stopped reading.
"What did the rest say?" Keroro asked curiously looking at Tamama.
"I guess it wasn't appropriate to air on a radio station." Tamama shrugged.
"Next from Fuyuki! I don't think he really used any sort of code name." Mutsumi read, "He says the type I'm after is the loch ness monster or big foot. I've never discovered them! I'll learn all their secrets!"
"Fuyuki, this was about romance..." Natsumi sighed.
"Do you not have a type? Or are you just into big foot?" Momoka clung onto Fuyuki's arm. Would she have to dress up as big foot?
"I think I confused things. My bad." Fuyuki apologized.
"From 700..." Mutsumi sighed, "He says 'as the main character I deserve a perfect match. I'd like a guy into gundam...And just because I said guy doesn't mean I'm gay! It's just that guys into gundam are so much more fun than girls. I just want any collectors dream of having a friend into gundam models, right? There's nothing really that gay about this and if there is someone else wrote my letter for me!"
Crickets chirped at the amount of denial in the letter.
"Well there isn't anything gay about it." Keroro tried to plead with his friends. "Fuyuki, you believe me, right? Friendship is important and you messed up your letter about types!"
"I know what I heard." Tamama said teasily smiling. Keroro scooted away.
"I believe you, Uncle. Sometimes people mess things up in their letters." Mois pat Keroro's back.
"Uhhh..." Fuyuki had a suspicion that Keroro hadn't messed things up.
"Um...Well, sure I believe you, 700." Mutsumi laughed. He continued onto the next letter. "From G66, he writes, no surprise..."
"What does he mean no surprise?" Giroro asked angrily.
"The warrior type. I want a tough girl who can go across the battlefield and blow up enemy soldiers." Mutsumi read.
Natsumi just glanced down at Giroro and giggled a bit. "I think the most normal thing about that letter was the tough girl type."
Giroro blushed. He just heat up. "Oh stop your laughing. I bet your letter is bad too-" Giroro told her. He hoped he was mentioned in her letter.
Natsumi looked excited.
"From 723..." Mutsumi started.
"Clickie." Kululu pressed a button and the house went out of power. He had to keep the balance of the universe in check. Sure he had come up to listen to the viewing show because he liked Mutsumi's radio show, but being a jerk to Natsumi was an added bonus.
Natsumi looked in shocked at the darkness. She just blinked as she waited for her letter to be read finally. But it never happened. She stood up and ran towards Kululu. "My letter wasn't read!"
"Mine wasn't either." Mois tried to reassure that she wasn't alone, "It's okay, Natsumi."
"Yeah, no real loss of losing out on your two letters." Kululu shrugged, "I can guess what either of your letters were talking about, Natsumi's was probably about how stupid she is and Mois's was probably just pages upon how pages about how great the captain is. I just saved the universe one. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu was willing to listen to Angol Mois's letter but it came after Natsumi's. So it had to go.
Mois didn't dare correct him so she just sat back down.
"Grenade me." Natsumi stuck her hand out as Giroro handed her a grenade as if it was a ritual. Natsumi blew up Kululu.
Someday...Someday her letter would be read on air.
There were two strikes in Angol Mois's favor. But Saburo didn't really know what Kululu thought of her, or if he had a sort of dream girl or type.
The only way to find those things out were bribery. And although he knew it would deplete his wallet he took Kululu out for curry, his treat.
He knew that was a grave mistake, offering to pay for Kululu's curry could be thousands of yen, he ate so much and always the most expensive of curries, but he had to so that he could get Kululu off guard.
Kululu of course suspected nothing. Once curry was involved he was weak willed and easy to talk to and get things out of.
"So...What kind of girls do you think you'd be into...?" Saburo didn't eat any curry himself, he didn't really like it, so he played with a spoon and looked at it instead on the table.
"I don't know." Kululu shrugged and shoveled more food into his mouth.
Saburo smiled. Maybe he could ask him specific questions then. "All right... Who do you think is the sexiest person on Earth?"
"Aki Hinata." Kululu said easily, "The data shows that she has all the parts that pekoponian males find attractive, out of a poll of males she is something that lots of people would find sexy."
Saburo smiled. Okay. So it's Aki then. Aki and him would be a good match. He could see them together. They'd be a responsible pair. She was a little old, would Aki be rocking the cradle if they were a thing? But if Kululu wanted that he'd try.
Better ask more questions just to be sure. Saburo realized. Maybe Kululu cared more for personality than body type after all. "Who's the strongest?" He smirked.
"Easy, Giroro. He's super tough. He lifted a boat once. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu continued eating.
Saburo frowned. He said he liked girls though...But maybe Kululu liked Giroro's muscles. Saburo was beginning to get confused.
"What about the most flexible? Agile and fastest?" Saburo asked.
"Koyuki. Easy question." Kululu looked interested in this ranking game.
Saburo frowned. "Cutest?"
"Angol Mois. She's so cute it hurts." Kululu frowned to himself. He pushed a plate of curry away about to stop after saying that, but then quickly changed his mind and went back to eating.
Saburo frowned. Nobody had two of the same answer. "Most intellectually stimulating?"
"Myself. I'm the smartest. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu boasted. "Most people have a trait they're good at after all in this ranking game. I don't think I can find anything the captain is best at though." Kululu mocked.
Saburo realized with utter horror that Kululu wasn't answering any of the answers out of personal bias. Just like what he had said about Aki being sexiest, he was using data points and what he thought other people thought. He was answering stereotypical answers. He's not thinking about what he likes at all, he's just choosing what he thinks fits best! Saburo frowned, annoyed. Kululu didn't realize that he was supposed to use bias.
Saburo narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kululu. Had Kululu figured things out that quickly? That Saburo was trying to figure out what kind of girlfriend he wanted so he could set him up with someone?
Perhaps this was a mind game where only one of them would emerge victorious. And Saburo was desperate to win. Saburo tried to appear like he wasn't annoyed or unnerved. He leaned his elbow on the table. "If you had an ideal...Partner...What do you think some of their qualities would be?" Saburo didn't use the term girlfriend anymore so Kululu would be off-guard. Instead he used partner so it was something just like work.
Kululu was sure to take the bait and answer.
Kululu thought for a moment feeling obligated to answer because of his full stomach. "I guess I would work best with someone who would get along with me, Ku, ku, ku. That's simple. Ya know, put in the effort to get to know me and talk to me?" Kululu looked at Saburo briefly, "You aren't trying to make me work on some project for you with someone are you?"
"Nope." Saburo shook his head.
"Ah, you must just be asking to see how I get along with my co-workers." Kululu realized. He suspected this had something to do with Saburo leaving, but he tried to push that out of his head. "I would also like someone who enjoys technology, thinks it's cool and all that."
Saburo's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead. Of course they'd have to like technology! That's a given. He's an inventor. So someone who was rather kind to Kululu and liked technology.
That was rather easy. He grinned at Kululu, almost sinisterly. I did get your type! I got at least something.
Of course he didn't know one key detail. Did Kululu want a jerk like him or someone fully kind? They had to get the effort to know Kululu, but he didn't know if that was a jerk or kind girl. Narrowing his eyes and looking at Kululu, he couldn't figure it out.
Kululu's face didn't betray much of his thoughts or what he wanted besides a loud scream of 'curry'.
He stared at Kululu trying to desperately observe him and hypothesize for two minutes. His eyes started watering and he put his head on the table, done with looking at Kululu.
He sighed. He couldn't figure it out. "I surrender!"
"Hmmm...?" Kululu looked confused, "Random staring contest or something? I don't much like those. But I suppose after Mois I could probably beat anyone except her. Ku, ku, ku. I sure wish she could just lose one..."
Saburo ignored him. He wanted to be vague, not direct, but he prodded almost jokingly. "I was just thinking of who your dream girl might be. I just can't figure it out. So who would be your dream girl?" He laughed as if trying to make the conversation casual.
He had never asked Kululu directly though. He assumed Kululu wouldn't answer and would brush him off like always.
Kululu looked at him confused for a moment. But he actually moved his mouth and answered. "That's an easy question. Angol Mois's my dream girl." His answer was so honest.
Saburo looked completely shocked. Not because Kululu liked Angol Mois but because he had said it out loud and so easily. "W-what?"
"Ku, ku, ku. You look like an idiot. Don't know what you want with that information but I'm sure it's nothing horrible." Kululu teased, "What's so surprising about her being my dream girl?"
"I'm...I'm not surprised..." Saburo admitted. He suddenly recalled how much Kululu talked about Angol Mois, how much he brought her up and how much he disliked her obsession with Keroro. It all made sense now. He had a huge crush on her! "I'm...I'm just surprised that you said she was your dream girl." He admitted.
Kululu shrugged, "I've made my peace with it. Sure it was unsettling for a while but she's in most of my dreams. There's no denying that she's my dream girl. Ku, ku, ku. Just...Don't tell Mois, okay? I'm sure she'd misinterpret it or something. I'm just glad you have a good head on your shoulders and won't."
Saburo just stared at him. Kululu talked about Mois as if he wasn't really swooning but just talking rather simple, so matter-of-fact.
"She is awfully cute..." He said to himself still confused that Kululu could admit things like this.
Kululu shrugged. "Here's the bill." He dropped the bill in front of Saburo. It was a lot. "Ku, ku, ku. Bye."
He walked away. I don't know why he's so surprised. Why would I be ashamed of Mois being my dream girl? Kululu was very confused. 'Girl of my nightmares' is a title I think is very fitting. I guess maybe my fear is a little unnerving or embarrassing, but really...Who wouldn't have Mois in their nightmares?
Unfortunately for Saburo, he didn't know that Kululu didn't know what the term 'dream girl' had meant and misinterpreted it for himself. It implied to Mois in a different sort of way that Saburo didn't know about.
He had confused dreams and nightmares.
Saburo however was joyous despite the large bill. "I can do this!" He said to himself. He could hook them up.
I vow to hook you up with your dream girl, Kululu. Saburo smiled. Mois and Kululu would be a thing and Saburo would be responsible for it.
I am sorry that I have to include one-sided Sabunatsu in this story. With Saburo being the main character, it is inevitable if I want to keep characters in-character. However I am a gironatsu shipper so keep in mind that Giroro will always have feelings for her and probably some day she will fall for him.
But yeah...Natsumi's probably going to be going after Saburo in this story. I apologize.
Seeing the character's reactions to the letter wasn't going to be a thing in the original chapter but I added it in! I should have probably changed what the characters were writing into poems, but I couldn't think of any good poems. =( Do you think I should make it poetry instead?
Please review.
