Chapter 5

(:.:)

"The Mistress likes to be woken up as soon as the sun rises, unless it is urgent." Yvette lectures as I stand before her in now clean clothes and skin. We are still standing inside the servant quarters where I had just washed myself and got clothes from other servants. Around us are beds, while the whole room is scattered in dresses and hair ornaments. "You can get your breakfast in the kitchen before the mistress has risen up. The ladies-in-waiting are dressing the Lady for the day and prepare her bath, making herself ready for the day."

I shrug as I listen impatiently at the rambling of the woman. She looks at me cautious eyes and narrows them when I shrug my shoulders. "If I were you, I wouldn't be so nonchalant about this serious matter. You have to make sure her ladyship is safe from any danger and,-"

"Oh, Yvette! Stop lecturing the poor man already!" Another voice says and I can see how another woman, a woman who already passed her prime years, walking in to the quarters. "Don't mind Yvette. I believe that she is little bit jealous because of the bedchamber you got for yourself. My name is Freya."

She too is elegantly dressed in a crimson dress made of velvet. She walks towards me with a bright smile. She too wears a head, but unlike Yvette's, her hood, with the horseshoe-shaped curve, is small made on a stiff foundation and she wears it far back, which reveals her dark black hair, with here and there a grey strand of hair. Her dark eyes look at me with a penetrating gaze, that is hard to avoid. She holds out her hand and I hesitantly accept it and shake it awkwardly.

"Fenris."

"Well now, Fenris. You'll have a busy day today, so your work will starts early tomorrow." She says, while smiling a slanting smile. "The lady Anne asked me to pass this to you." She holds out a piece of paper, which I take in my hand. "You have to go to the steward, which is Lord Brandly, and give this paper to him. He's the one who registers you and makes sure you get your pay. You also get your permission to make use of the arsenal and the training grounds. You get diner at the eight hour sharp in the kitchen, unless it is the King's and Queen's pleasure that the Mistress dines in their presence. Then you have to stand next to her."

In other words, I am just as much as a lapdog like I was before. I simply nod curtly. She gives me the direction and I'm on my way. After walking what feels like endless hallways and, more than a few times, being lost, I finally manage to reach the steward; a meager little man, that that has passed his prime years, wearing a hood with a feather on his already bald head. He too looks at me with a conceited expression on his face and wordlessly gives me another letter.

Then, I am off towards the arsenal and I get what they seem to deem worthy for me, which means that it's not very much. A sword and an already worn out armour. With a raised eyebrow I look at the equipment, that is obviously too big for me. It's not as if I am tiny in length. In fact, for an elf am I rather tall, but nevertheless is my body 'lanky' as Isabela would point out many times. I dump the armor and only keep the sword, though I make a note to myself to sharpen the bloody thing and polish away all rust spots.

Just as Freya said, the day is long and it will be over when I finally have everything I need. Anne had asked me before leaving that I should return back to her once I'm done. I do feel a slight sting of resentment towards her for the secrets she keeps, but nonetheless it's not any of my business. I enter her quarters, getting inside the reception room, only to see Yvette rushing towards me with a scowling expression on her face.

"It's was already the worst that you stood in the lady quarters early this day, but don't you even have any decency in your body left for asking permission to enter?" She says with fire spitting in her eyes. "Please, refrain yourself from any uncivilized behaviour and knock on the door next time."

She turns her back towards me with a sharp turn and walks back inside the living quarters. I sigh before pushing the curtains slightly out of the way before I myself enter the room. I see that Yvette had walked back towards Anne, whispering something into her ear before she returns back towards her embroidery on the table. Anne, who had been reading a book near the fire place, looks up at me and stands up from where she had sit down.

"Fenris." She greets, while placing the book down on side table that stood next to the couch. "You look quite well… and clean. Good. You can see yourself into your chamber and place your belongings there, if you wish that."

I nod, and without saying anything I return to the room that had pointed out early this day. When I placed the little bit of belonging that I have in the room, I return to the living room, only to see that Anne has returned to reading her book again and didn't say anything significant for the time being. When both Yvette and Freya stood up from their chairs, saying that they would like to eat, Anne merely waved with her hand as she is far too engrossed into that book.

With a slight frown on her face, Freya says: "My lady, you should eat something as well. Would you like some food being served here?"

She now looks up from her book and smiles at the older woman gently. "No, thank you. I don't feel like eating today."

Both ladies-in-waiting curtsy before leaving the room and wishing her a good night, and I can slightly hear how they chatter towards each other. Anne looks at me. "You should eat as well, Fenris."

"I can't leave you alone, can I now?" I say with a raised eyebrow. Though it is under pretence that I work as her bodyguard, I don't want to leave her unprotected.

She shakes her head slightly, before returning to her book. "This isn't the household of Denerius, you know? You can eat without worrying over nothing."

She looks at the fire place for a moment, before returning to her book. When I keep standing still at the same spot, I can hear how she makes the most un-lady-like-snort and turns towards me with raised eyebrow. "Please, don't stand there so awkwardly. It is making me uncomfortable."

With an annoyed feeling inside my gut, I refrain myself from sighing out loud. Nevertheless, I have no intention to behave like an obedient servant, being submissive to any master; never again. So I walk towards slowly and the closer I get, the bigger her eyes become. I sit next to her on the couch and I look at the fire place with a calm demeaner.

"What are you doing?" I can hear her ask, as she has a slightly offended intonation in her voice.

"Not standing there very awkwardly, obviously." I reply, without holding any sarcasm at bay.

She places the book between us, as if she is trying to put more distance between us. "But you can't do that! There are rules,-"

"About what? Me sitting on a couch?" I say turning towards her fully. "Look, you said that you didn't want me to put any form of servitude on me and you want to be friends again."

She now laughs,- not the arrogant, complacent laugh that most people of high status would use, but the one that can anyone smile back-, and turns towards as her leg slides on the couch a bit. "You were never one to keep you wit. I am glad to see that that didn't change through the years."

I look at her, studying the face that has matured through those years. The darkness inside the room hides her face, with the exception of the fire that lights up one side of her body and face. Her then childlike cheeks are now adored with high feminine cheekbones, that most women in Tevinter would kill for. "You've grown through the years, Anne. For the better."

She nods slowly. "Thank you. Most kind."

Her reply is softly spoken and I wouldn't dare to say it out loud, but it almost looks as if she is shy. She clears her throat slightly before speaking again. "I want you to wear shoes from now one."

I look at her questionable as she points out at my naked feet. I wiggle my toes in response, which makes her frown and me grin. "I am afraid that is out of the question. Shoes don't feel comfortable around my feet."

"It is not a question, Fenris." Anne responds sternly. "The weather here far more colder than in Tevinter. Your feet could rot because of the dirt and cold here. I don't want to see your feet fall off because of your stubbornness."

He had to admit that the wind here does make his feet painfully cold. With a scowling I mutter that I would see what I can do and in response Anne nods her head.

"I also need you to accompany me to someone the day after tomorrow."

"I'll be there then."

She doesn't look at me and then suddenly stands up abruptly from the couch. "I am going to bed."

"Shouldn't those ladies help you?" I ask, remembering something similar in Tevinter.

She shakes her head, which makes her hair bounce lightly on her shoulders. "No. it is already embarrassing enough for me to have them dressing me up in the morning. At night, I would like to be alone and prepare myself for bed."

"Oh." I manage to say after overcoming the surprised feeling. I figured that she too had all those ridicules rituals of dressing and undressing, like all the other nobles in Tevinter and everywhere else in Thedas had. "Then, I wish you a good night."

She gives me a wry smile, before she retreats into her bedroom and closes the door behind her with a soft click. After I hear that sound, I let an out sigh of relief and pray to the Maker that those papers will be soon ready.

(:.:)

Just as the day before, I await for Anne to be ready from dressing; even if it takes ridiculously long time. Just like she asked, - or more commanded-, I wear shoes and I absolutely hate it. The leather of the boots are killing my feet and I simply miss the feeling of dirt and stone underneath my toes. I did consider to throw does bloody things out of the window, but I still want those papers and my feet are warmer now.

When she finally emerges from her bedroom, she is followed by her ladies in waiting. The grey gown she wears, with silver embroider long sleeves and the three vertical broches on the corset, made out of sliver and pearls makes her elegant, as always. No one can ever deny that this woman is from the nobility, as the fabric of her grey over skirt shines beautiful, while in the middle the v-shape at the front reveals the anthracite kirtle that has a pattern in it. Her hair now hangs lose, as thick strands fall on her back, with a headpiece made of silver and black beads that falls down with her long hair.

When she walks forward, I follow her while Yvette and Freya stay behind to clean up the room. I had both greeted them a 'good morning' when they entered the room, though I only greet since it is the least appropriate thing to do when someone enters. The older woman seems to get used to my presence as she gives me that same smirk that she gave me yesterday, while the other woman obviously doesn't like me here. She probably only mutters the greeting back out of politeness if nothing else.

Unlike yesterday, Anne goes out. I walk beside her and I am aware that this is 'inappropriate' for me to do so.

"Where are you going?" I ask in a soft voice as I ignore the curious gaze of the people. "You didn't eat yet."

"That can wait." She answers in a soft voice back. "I need to meet someone urgently. He has asked for me a couple times now and I cannot, nor want to, delay that appointment any further. The Queen shall be furious if I would do so."

I rise up an eyebrow at the statement. "Oh? Care to tell me who it is?"

"My fiancé." She says casually, as if she is speaking about the weather.

For a moment, I slow down my pace as the words go through me. "Fiancé?"

She looks at me with a slanting smile. "Yes, why are you reacting so surprised now?"

I can't help but to feel that biting sense of disappointment in my gut, which makes me ashamed to admit it. "I am not surprised." I lie. "I just didn't think that someone like you would be engaged."

"Someone like me?" She repeats with a snickering voice. "You should know from your experience in Tevinter that being engaged at court is the same as wearing the same shoes that every other lady is wearing."

I snort at the metaphor. "My experience in Tevinter has taught me a lot more than that."

She walks through the ward outside and get into another section of the palace, with less people in it. we climb up a stair and reach the top of the wall. When Anne pushes the door open, I can see someone waiting into the distance. Anne, who stands before me, makes an excited sound that is between a shriek and squeal. She tilts up her skirt and runs towards the man, who has now seen her and looks at her with a broad smile. He opens his arms before her and catches her in a feather-light movement.

I watch them in the distance as they smile at each other and hold each other in an embrace. A tightening feeling inside my stomach makes it hard to watch them and unbeknownst to me, I feel a scowl being formed on my face. I wish to give them some privacy, so I decided that it would be best if I would keep my distance. They sit down on the bench that is against the wall and their voices are riding on the wind towards me. Though I can't hear their exact words, I can hear the excitement in Anne's voice when she speaks to her fiancé.

Now that I think about it, I believe that I've seen this man before. Perhaps he was the one that was on that masquerade in Kirkwall years ago. Trevelyan? Was that his name?

When Anne and her fiancé stand up, they say some last words towards each other before bidding each other goodbye. With a smile on her face, she walks back towards me. I had somehow expected them to… I don't know, be more intimate with each other? She asks me to follow her back towards her room and we walk back towards her quarters.

"Isn't your fiancé going to be beside you?" I ask when we go down the stairs.

"Max is very busy in the Free Marches right now." Anne says, while steadying herself against the wall with her hand. "He came to Denerim for a short meeting with someone, but he has to leave as soon as possible because of the troubling rampage that is going on in Kirkwall."

"Kirkwall?" I ask, while making sure that isn't going to fall down by keeping my eyes on her.

"Didn't you hear? About the tension between the mages and Templars there?" She asks, while looking over her shoulder at me. "The tension there is quite, - woah!"

She slips her feet off the stairs and is about to fall down, if it wasn't for my arm around her slim waist. I pull her close against me, - close enough for me to smell the perfume in her hair-, and she leans against me while she tries to regain her footing.

"Sorry!" She says, while her hand is still leaning against the wall. "It's that damn dress! That stupid thing is always too long for any women to walk decently down the stairs!"

She curses while I'll still keep her close. After I take a deep breath I manage to say something. "You're standing on my foot."

"What?" She looks at me with her face awfully close to mine.

"You're standing on my foot." I repeat calmly, though I do turn my face a bit out of her direction.

"Maker!" She says and quickly steps her foot elsewhere. "I am so sorry!"

It's not that it was very painful, though I can't help but to look a bit sour. "Well, at least am I glad that I am wearing shoes now."

She looks down to my foot and starts to laugh warmly when she sees the boots. "Indeed. Come. Let's get some ice for those toes of yours."

I shake my head. "There is no need for pointless indulgement. I did what is expected of me; nothing more, nothing less."

She looks at me, though I can see the lightly formed frown on her forehead. "Right." She says. "Then, let's go back then."

(:.:)

It has been more than a week now and Anne has told me that the papers are almost done. Maker, I can't wait to get out of this place to be honest. The rules and tightness of these people is more than suffocating. The way they whisper and shoot gazes at me is even more worse here than at any other city I've ever been with. No doubt that the word of a strange elf with markings is on the street of Denerim as well. It would be wise of me to leave this palace when it is night time.

Anne is working behind her desk, answering some letter she received a couple days before. It seems that there is some rumbling of troublemakers are roaming through the streets of the alienage, -who are mainly young nobility-, and some elves have reached to her for help.

"You have a bad habit of skipping meals." I say, while I place a plate of food on her desk. She looks up with tired eyes. For the short time that I've been with Anne, I have noticed how irregular she is eating. At best she eats three times, but that is hardly every day.

"I am not hungry." She says and looks back to the letters.

I simply place the plate before her nose, on the paperwork and I am immediately greeted with a glare. I simply ignore it and shrug at her. "Then make place for hunger."

With a grumble, she then takes a piece of bread and stuffs it in her mouth. "There. Happy?"

"Hardly." I snort at her as I take a piece of bacon from the plate for myself. "Eat up. I don't want to bring you to a healer, because you fail to take good care of yourself."

I take a book from the shelve and sit down on a chair that is close by the desk. I can hear how Anne takes a crispy piece of bacon from her plate and I can't help the smile that is formed on my mouth.

"Don't look so smug, Fenris." I can hear her muttering. "I only eat this, because I would rather avoid another lecture from you."

"Of course, my lady." I mockingly say back in response, but the grin remains on my face.

I continue reading and she continues with working. This goes on until the dawn and the room is becoming colder and darker. She has send her ladies away for an errand from the Queen, because apparently the Queen doesn't have enough servant for herself already, so Anne asks me to light up the candles and throw more wood into the fireplace. I do as I am asked and when I notice my hunger, I want to go to the kitchen to get food for the both of us, until the door of her quarters are opened.

Anne looks up a little bit alarmed and I sign to her that she should sit down. I walk towards the curtain slowly and push it a bit aside to see who it is. When I am able to recognize the person, I let out a brief sigh of relief and annoyance.

"Talk about manners." I say sarcastic when Yvette emerges from the darkness with a dark scowl on her face. After all, she didn't knock on the door.

"Forgive me, my lady for the sudden intruding but the Queen has urgently asked me to deliver this to you." Yvette holds out a dark piece of clothing in her hand. Anne looks at it when she stands up behind the desk. She walks towards her lady-in-waiting with a curious gaze. "The Queen insists that you will wear this to feast, my lady; I couldn't refuse her."

Anne, whose now in arm reach of Yvette, touches the fabric with her hand.

"This is silk." She says in a bizarre distressed voice. "And the colour is… purple."

I look perplex at the distress of the two women. Is the colour that offensive? I thought that women would kill for silk?

"It becomes worse, my lady." Yvette adds with a alarming voice. "The sleeves are long and tailored with black fur. Her majesty also insists that she will see you before the feast for the appropriate jewellery."

"I can't wear this, Yvette. You know that." Anne says in a stern voice, while her hands retreats from touching the silk. "It is already bad enough of me to wear embroidery and pearls, but this… it will be offensive to many parties, -too many parties-, in the nobility. It will give them an utterly wrong signal."

"I know," Yvette answers as she bows her head a bit. "but it was impossible for me to refuse the Queen."

"Maker's breath, what is she thinking?" Anne mutters. With a sigh she waves towards the table. "Throw that thing there. I'll deal with it tomorrow."

Yvette did as is told and leaves as soon as she is done. Anne looks at the gown with a huge scowl on her face. I too look at the piece of clothing, but to be honest, I can't see the problem. The dress is, - as far as a man can conclude-, beautiful. The black lines on the corset have embroidery of golden branches; simple but elegant enough, I suppose.

"You don't like the dress?" I ask.

Anne looks up at me with a confused expression. "It's not that. It is just… the colour isn't right."

"The colour." I can't help the snort that I let out. "All this drama over the colour?"

"It isn't not 'just' the colour." She answers with a glare in her gaze. "This whole dress is… inappropriate."

I shrug my shoulders. Sure, the neckline is low, -apparently from Orlais-, but as far as I can see it there's nothing wrong the dress itself. Anne sighs as she see my confusion on my face. Tsk. Women. She takes the corset in her hand and watches the detailed embroidery om it; a dark purple shade, just like the gown. She shakes her head again when she places the dress down on the table again. I eventually silently exit the chambers without a word and go to the kitchen. I did not forget that Anne didn't eat and she won't eat unless someone will bring it to her. My mind can't help but whisper that she is a spoiled brat now.

When I go back to her chambers, with the plates of food in my hand, I can see how she is sitting at the table and still staring at the dress. She looks up when I walk in and I place the plate beneath her nose.

"Eat." I command while I sit down on the same table with my own plate and start digging in.

"You didn't had to get a plate for me, Fenris." She whispers softly and pushes the plate away from her.

"I don't want to tell your father that his daughter died because of her own vanity." She glares at me when I say that, but I simply ignore her. Instead I nod at the dress with a mouth full of chicken and I ask: "For what event is it?"

She groans slightly when she looks at the clothing piece again and eats a baked potato. "Only a yearly event for all the nobility in Ferelden. The celebrate the unity and nationality of our realm. Big event where every noble appears. Good for business relationships and for marriage matches."

"Like the one you have." I say before I can stop myself. I could hit myself when those words get out of my mouth and through my white strands of hair, I look at the reaction of Anne on her face.

"I suppose." She answers calmly. "It is more an alliance than a marriage, of course. Between Ferelden and Ostwick. A proposal of our dear Bann of Amaranthine."

"You're not happy with the match then?" I ask while we continue eating.

"Hmm…" She hums a bit before answering. "It's not that I am unhappy about it. in fact, I feel that Max will be a great life partner in many ways and I' am childhood friends with him. Besides, I do realise the fact that someone with my status and situation could have ended up in a lot more worse position. At least I don't have to marry an Orlesian."

I look at her face, which is collected and calm. She continues with picking on the cooked vegetables with her fork. "Do you love him?"

"I suppose." She answers vaguely while she keeps looking at her plate.

"So, you'll marry him out of love then?" I can't help but to ask that question. When she doesn't answer that, I keep looking at her, feeling agitated at her silence. "Why would you marry a man that you don't love? You've escaped slavery itself and you know what it's like to be trapped and to be stripped of your freedom! You talk about your unfortunate position, but you have a far more favoured position than most of us will ever have. Why trap yourself in a cage?"

By then, she has looked up at me. The idea of someone who escaped the worst possible way of degradation from human to animal, is putting herself into a prison again disgusts me in more ways than I can describe.

When I am done with my tirade, she answers: "Because it's my duty towards the people of Ferelden. Through this marriage I can help my people far more better than I could ever do alone."

"You yourself said that you're not in the line of succession." I counter that.

"Perhaps not on paper, but the people of Ferelden look at my blood and my blood is Theirin." Anne answers while she stands up from the table. "They are looking at nonetheless, whether I want it or not."

The word vanity goes through my mind. A sly sense of pride resides in this woman, clearly. "You think that the people won't survive without you?"

"This is not a question of survival or nor, Fenris. They'll live, nonetheless. The true question is how will they live." Anne says while look at me with piercing eyes. "I'm done with eating and I'm going to bed. You'll get your papers on the day of the feast. Then, you no longer have to worry about the Great Game, dear Fenris."

Whether or not she says the last sentence mockingly with a sarcastic voice, slips my mind. The thought that gives me a bitter taste in the mouth is the fact that she is going to marry soon. And I will not be able to stand beside her when it happens. I throw the piece of meat away and leave the plate at the table. With a sour feeling of slight distress am I going to sit by the fire place and brood while looking at the flames.

How will life look like once I leave this place? How will it be now that I am once again a fugitive? Will it be just like before I got to Kirkwall? Always on the run; never be able to take a breath; in fear of what the next night might bring if you survive the day.

No. I can't stay here! I must be vigilant now! I was once betrayed by someone who I thought cared for me. Never again. I'll leave once I get those damn papers in my hand.