I am very horny and unable to jerk off because my damn stepsister (youngest) keeps popping in and out of my room completely ruining the art of flirting. Why am I cursed with stepsisters who like me so?

Also, thank you my two special reviewers who pointed out my oops. Remus has seven months and Harry has six, I accidentally put Harry with seven and Remus with eight, but that's what I get for trying to do simple math at 2 or 3am in the morning.

YAOI-FIEND YOU ROCK!!! I LOVE THE PICTURE!!!

Okay, really long author's note. Any people who have been or are preggers and are reading this story and find themselves going "That's not what it's like", just to clear things up, it's like that because men aren't used to having those hormones in such large quantities, so everything is a little fucked up with their body and emotional shit because of that. Please don't kill me almighty ones of the preggersness.


Harry was about to take a drink of butterbeer when the bottle was suddenly plucked from his hand. He looked around and his eyes landed of a smirking Septus holding his drink.

"ButterBEER," Septus said, emphasizing the "beer" part. "Contains alcohol. And I seem to remember someone has a smaller someone inside them," he smirked and poked Harry softly in the belly. "I don't think my brother would appreciate you drinking."

Harry blushed; he had forgotten that butterbeer had alcohol in it. "Thanks for stopping me," he smiled and got all preggers, hugging Septus who stiffened like Severus did before tentatively returning the embrace.

"Okay, that's enough," Septus said and pushed Harry gently off. A wolf grin spread across his face. "Now go to my brother, I'm sure he'll be very happy to leave and take you to the manor in France," he leered making Harry blush again.

"Oh, I would be more than happy to take Harry," Severus said, walking up to the two, using just as many suggestive undertones as he brother had before continuing, "to the manor in France."

xXx

By the time they left, Harry was bright red and a little more than a little aroused by how many suggestive undertones Severus had used. They decided to use a carriage since it wasn't good for the twins to be apperated or go through flew.

Once Harry was in the carriage, Severus said a rather nasty threat that if anyone disturbed them at the manor for the next two weeks, he would torture them then turn them into potions ingredients.

"That wasn't very nice," Harry scoffed when Severus stepped in and closed the door. Once his husband had sat down, he straddled the longhaired man's waist. Severus was his husband and about to take him for the first time as such, it seemed perfect until he got sick.

Severus closed his eyes as Harry threw up all over his chest. He waited until Harry was done before casting a rather powerful cleaning spell on himself and another spell on his husband to rid the cat boy of the taste.

"Sorry," Harry said sheepishly and started to crawl off Severus' lap, but was stopped.

"Even though I am completely turned off by that," Severus began, knowing Harry too had been turned off as well, "I still want to hold you. Go to sleep, I'll wake up when we get there."

xXx

Harry woke up naked and in a warm bed with an even warmer body pressed against his back. He turned in Severus' arms and was surprised when the longhaired man stayed asleep. Normally Severus woke when he made the slightest movement or sound no matter what.

He watched Severus sleep for the first time. The man's face was completely unguarded. 'He must have been really tired,' he thought and carefully tucked a stray lock of raven hair behind one of his husband's ears before snuggling up closer.

It seemed as if the moment couldn't get any better, then he felt the twin's move, a soft smile playing across his face. Softly, he kissed Severus, feeling the man stir beneath his lips.

Severus' onyx eyes fluttered open as he began to kiss back. Soon he was taking Harry for the first time as his husband. He took his Soul Mate even though he took his Soul Mate tender and gently, they both had one of the most powerful orgasms in their life.

"God I love you," Severus said as he laid next to Harry, still slightly trembling from his orgasm.

xXx
(A/N: Not much of a honeymoon scene, I know, but I just feel like shit right now and couldn't make it any better.)

Harry and Severus returned to Hogwarts after three weeks in at the France manor where Harry had been thoroughly fucked over every table, against every wall, on every floor, bed, coach, and chair. The house-elves had learned rather quickly to leave the room as fast as they could after being summoned by their Master.

"Have fun," Draco began, walking into Harry and Severus' rooms, "step-GodDaddy?" He laughed and plopped down on the couch.

Harry was on the floor in front of the fire catching up in his homework while Severus brewed numerous potions for the infirmary. Harry just rolled his eyes at Draco. "Where are the twins?" He asked, glancing up at the lounging blonde.

"Father got a hold of them, I believe he is discussing the importance of his only heir," Draco smirked; he was a cruel person on the inside after all. "I'm going to go rescue them soon, I just felt like stopping by to see how my step-goddy was."

Septus chose that moment to walk in and spied Harry on the floor. "How's my new brother-in-law?" He laughed making Harry groan.

"I am never going to live this down am I?" Harry asked rhetorically when Draco laughed as well.

"Nope," Draco and Septus answered together.

"That's what you get for marrying my Godfather and his brother," Draco smirked and slid off the couch. "Well, I have to go rescue Fred and George, have fun with Sevvy-poo," he laughed as he exited the room.

Septus walked over and knocked on the door to Severus' private lab. "Oh Sevvy-poo, come out and say hello to your brother!" He caroled and the door swung open, nailing him in the face. "FUCK!" He yelled and clutched his bleeding nose.

"Hello," Severus smirked before slamming the door shut. He roughly opened it again, hitting Septus once more in the face pulling another "FUCK!" from the bleeding man. "And don't call me Sevvy-poo," he growled and slammed the door shut once more.

"God, and he just went on his honeymoon, shouldn't he be in perpetual afterglow right now?" Septus asked and the door once again flew open, smacking him in the back of the head. "FUCK AGAIN!"

"I heard that, anymore witty comments Fluffy-snooky-bear?" Severus smirked, using a name that Septus' first really girlfriend had called him. "No? Good," he said and slammed the door shut.

Septus stepped a few feet away from the door before speaking again. "Was he on the bottom? He's acting like he was on the bottom." This time the door didn't swing open; it was blown clean off its hinges and flew into Septus, making the man yell "FUCK!" again.

"I was not on the bottom!" Severus yelled from deep within his lab and cast a spell, returning the door to its rightful place.

A bleeding and wounded Septus stepped several feet to the right, making sure he was out of the way of the evil door before once again speaking. "Did he have any sex at all? I mean, he's acting like you castrated him...shit." He was oh so wrong when he thought he was safe, this time the door ripped free of it's hinges and flew after him followed by several hexes that all hit their mark with pinpoint accessory. Soon he was lying on the floor, bleeding, barely holding onto consciousness. "I'll just shut up now," he slurred weakly and watched as he brother approached him with several potions.

Two of the potions Severus forced his brother to swallow and another one he poured on the wounds. It hissed and bubbled and looked rather painful, but it worked, the wounds healed up almost instantly. "I had lots of sex brother, the reason why I am acting like this is because I have to brew two hundred or so potions for the infirmary, not a pleasant task."


Still a little short, but I will make up for the shortness in due time oh dear lovelings. Should it be Harry and Severus Potter, Harry and Severus Potter-Snape, or Harry and Severus Snape? Your call lovelings.

I get to see Bare Naked Ladies in concert in a few days, then a few days later I get to see Nickleback, Three Days Grace, and Breaking Benjamin in concert, and previous to those, I get to see a ton of other bands all within a two month period.