I have an idea for where I want this to go, but need to develop some other plots a little bit to make it work - hence the tone of this chapter.
The story will play itself out soon enough - in the meantime, reviews let me know you're still interested and keep me writing :)
"They were just…doin' it. And I could see everything – EVERYTHING ALEX!" Alex rolled his eyes, terribly uninterested in this conversation with Amelia. They were waiting in line for a coffee, a much needed caffeine boost that got him through the day – otherwise he'd be looking for an escape route pretty quickly.
"Well that's what you get when you don't knock! Besides, be happy for her – Mer needed to get laid." Alex wasn't particularly a huge fan of Nathan – after all, Grey-Sloane could only handle one brooding male surgeon and that was his role. But he also didn't really know the guy, apart from his feud with Owen and Maggie's constant swooning. He wanted Meredith to be happy though and he was willing to give the guy a chance – after all, he must be something special if she was going for it, given all the associated complications.
"Hey guys! What's up!" Speak of the devil, he thought as Maggie joined them in queue. She hadn't been home all weekend, choosing to stay at the hospital instead, making the call room her home. She was definitely her fathers daughter, Alex mused to himself.
"Oh not much just trying to scrub my cortex clean from accidentally catching Meredith and Nathan in the act – OH…I mean…how are you?" Amelia paused and considered her audience. Maggie's normally cheery face pinched in agitation, her mouth terse and her eyes flat.
"On second thought, I don't have time for coffee – gotta get to the OR." Maggie turned on her heels, leaving them behind and forgoing her favourite beverage in favour of saving face. She did have a surgery to go to – although it was a case with Riggs, so she wasn't exactly looking forward to that either. She didn't know how she felt about her co-worker. Meredith was her sister and she owed it to her to tell her. But Nathan – he didn't owe her anything. They were friends – kind of. He was kind to her during her mothers passing and had always been cordial, despite her awkward attempt to ask him on a date. But she realized she hadn't really bothered to get to know him outside of her romantic feelings – during all of their interactions, Maggie had been focused on proving to Nathan that she was attractive, funny, witty and entirely worth dating. She'd actually taken very little time to do much else, which left her feeling confused about how she would interact with him now. Was she mad at him? She didn't think so – she was old enough to recognize that she was jealous and embarrassed, but not mad.
"They are just so cute together. I saw this coming you know – they were always just sneaking around together, nothing obvious but I know that look on Meredith Grey. I've known that girl since she was an intern and that's the same look she had those early days with Derek, God rest his soul." Sandra, a veteran scrub nurse was chatting at the scrub sink when Maggie arrived. She tried to keep her composure, focusing on thoroughly scrubbing her hands. Why did everyone have to talk about this today? First Amelia and her…revelation – that had made Maggie feel sick to her stomach, the thought of moving back to that house and hearing them or walking in on them was too much for her – and now her nursing colleagues.
"Did everyone know? Was I just totally and completely oblivious?" She blurted out to Sandra, speaking out loud before she could stop herself. The older woman looked at her sympathetically – Maggie was friends with quite a few of the nurses she worked with and she'd spent many a case lamenting about her love life. She didn't wait for Sandra to answer, sighing as she entered the OR doors.
"Hey. I looked over her bloodwork – she's good to go." Nathan was inside already, draping the patient and preparing for the surgery. She wished it didn't have to be him in here today – all the residents were away at teaching and the other cardio surgeons had their own cases. She'd needed a second set of hands and he was supposed to be off today. It was necessary, but she wasn't happy about it.
They started off the case quietly, keeping their interactions strictly professional. The surgery was simple, but long and tedious. Normally, Nathan would've broken the monotony with friendly banter but Maggie was refusing to make eye contact, blurting out only the necessary instructions to keep the surgery going. He knew this would be awkward when he saw his name on the OR board, but he'd been determined not to fall into the trap of silence.
"So…how was your weekend?" He attempted. Nathan liked Maggie well enough, but if he had to be honest, he didn't feel guilty about Meredith. He'd long been encouraging her to tell her sister – his feelings weren't going to change and Maggie would have to accept that. Maybe it was selfish, but he'd already lost one great love in his life. He wasn't about to give up an opportunity to love again, something he thought would never happen, to keep Maggie placated.
"Pass the clamp." She replied tersely, not looking up from the gaping chest cavity they were currently digging in.
"Look, Pierce I get that you're angry. But being mad and not talking about it isn't going to change anything. And it's making for a hell of an awkward Monday." Nathan looked around at the nurses working alongside them, all of them quiet as well, feeling the tension in the room.
"I'm not mad. I'm fine." Maggie could feel her face burning, grateful for her surgical mask that was covering at least part of her shame.
"Bullshit. Is that why you won't look at me or anyone? Why you haven't said anything in hours? Or why you spent the weekend in the on-call room, breaking your back on those crappy beds?" He was getting annoyed now.
"Ok – I am mad – OK? You both betrayed me. I told Meredith no more lying and she looked me in the eye and promised she wouldn't, all the while knowing how I felt about you. And you – you told me you weren't ready to date, let me come over there the other night and spill my guts. All you had to do was tell me – tell me you just wanted some fling with my sister and I would've backed off." She still couldn't look at him, staring at her hands as they autopiloted this simple procedure.
"I think I'm falling in love with her. If that makes any difference to you – it wasn't just some fling. I'm sorry we hurt you and that you feel the way you feel. But I'm not sorry for being with her." It was the first time he'd said it out loud, but the thoughts had been lingering in his head for awhile now. He was still apprehensive – there was still moments when all he could think about was Megan – but those moments were getting few and far between these days.
"You…love her?" Maggie stopped and looked up at him. She'd really never considered that – she'd been busy thinking about her own feelings for Nathan. She wasn't stupid – she knew she didn't love him. She was excited by the potential that she thought she saw in them together, but she was far from the L word. But he loved her sister – maybe? Her sister who's life had been torn into pieces so many times, that Maggie worried she'd never find love again, not because it wasn't out there but because Meredith would be too busy trying to piece together the past, trying to forget that Derek had died and that he wasn't going to suddenly re-appear in her life and make everything ok again.
"Maggie, she held back for a long, long time because she wanted to protect you. I think it's time for her to be happy. Don't you?" The room was silent, the beeping of the monitors rhythmic in the background.
"I…I…Don't hurt her. Or I'll kill you." Her voice was stern, but Nathan could hear the smile in her tone. This was her concession, she thought. It still hurt – the betrayal and the resentment still throbbing in the background. But he was right – Meredith deserved to be happy and as much as Maggie wanted to throttle her in this moment, she couldn't deny that her sister had been a pillar of support for her, despite her own hardships. It would take time, but she realized she had to let this go.
"Funny – that seems to be what everyone tells me when they hear about this." Nathan replied, taking her small peace offering graciously. Things were looking up, he thought, allowing himself the tiniest bit of hope.
Amelia was eating her salad, oblivious to Alex and Arizona beside her, arguing about the best approach for pediatric bowel surgery. Her eyes were glued to Meredith, sitting outside with Nathan. She could see them through the window, the wind catching her sister's hair as she laughed at something he was saying. They weren't touching – from a distance, one would mistake them for two colleagues enjoying lunch on an uncharacteristically, warm spring day. But to her, it was unmistakable – the way he touched her arm with fingers trailing across her skin and lingering just a little too long, the way she rested her knee against his with casual abandon – spring was in the air and with it came the first buds of love.
"Are you gonna eat that?" Alex interrupted her reverie, gesturing to her half-eaten lunch. She thrust the tray towards him, watching as he spared not a second and began inhaling her sandwhich. She could pretend to be ok, pretend life was good – and it was when she thought about how bad it had been – but her heart felt incomplete.
"Owen and I used to be like that." She said to no one in particular. Alex didn't look up from his meal, probably choosing to not hear her.
"Callie and I too – that bench has seen a lot of action." Arizona added, sounding rather chipper. Her own loneliness was quenched, at least for now, with the addition of Minnick to the hospital. But even she was brought back in time watching Nathan and Meredith – she remembered all the great loves that Grey-Sloane had fostered, although in those days it had been Seattle Grace. Alex and Izzie, herself and Callie, Cristina and Burke – and of course, Meredith and Derek, as she had just recently told Nathan.
"Do you think it'll last?" Alex asked, mouth half full of sandwich. He wasn't one to daydream – he'd had his fair share of heartbreaks here. He was tired and weary, having just narrowly escaped with his career recently. Jo had been avoiding him – he knew she'd come when she was ready; they weren't finished yet. But for now, he as enjoying the relative simplicity of just being single. He'd come so close to losing out on everything – his career, his family, his life – he was grateful now for every day that he spent free and even his broken heart couldn't get him down these days.
"Yeah, I think so. She seems pretty enamoured, judging by what I've seen so far. And Meredith wouldn't waste her time on him if she wasn't in it." Amelia would never admit it, but Meredith and her had quite a lot in common. She was definitely more tightly wound than Mer but her thinking process when it came to men – they either utterly did not matter and made for a good one-off lay or they were you're everything, your sun and moon and stars.
"They'll last if Maggie doesn't kill them both. That girl needs to get laid. I liked her way better when she was with De Luca." Alex didn't complain much about his living arrangements, given that he was broke following his legal costs and Meredith didn't charge him for his board. He'd sympathized with Maggie during her grief, but long before her mothers passing, he'd been perpetually irritated with her obsession with Riggs. Being the only male in the house, he'd been subjected to many a conversation with Maggie where she would present some benign thing Nathan had done that day, such as brush against her in the lounge, and dissect it for hints of his undying love for her – she always needed 'a guys perspective' which unfortunately, Alex was the sole roommate capable of providing.
"I miss that." Amelia was still enamoured by the couple outside, sipping her coffee and reminiscing. She didn't notice when Alex and Arizona left, her table now empty. Her last case was cancelled, she had nowhere to be and no motivation to get up.
She thought about Owen in that moment, her mind wandering to the man that was technically still her husband. How had they come so far from what? Hadn't they once been gushing lovebirds and Meredith been the green-eyed monster on the other side, stumbling across their naked bodies twisted together? This role reversal was far from pleasant and she felt a little bit sorry for the way she'd acted towards her sister in those days – it wasn't a good feeling, watching this from the other side.
Amelia had a lot of demons, some closer to the surface than others. Dealing with her own messy self was easy when it was just her – there was no one else to hurt or take down with you. But with a husband or God forbid a child – what if she messed up? What if she had been pregnant with Owen's baby and she relapsed and started drinking again? Or even if she made it through the stress of pregnancy, but the task of motherhood did her in? It was one thing to screw up your own life but it was entirely different to implicate an innocent child. She couldn't do that – she knew it was weak and selfish and she'd never admit it, but she refused to take the risk.
"They're sweet. I hope he doesn't mess it up." She wasn't alone anymore. Owen was sitting next to her, his tray of food cautiously in front of him. It was as if her thoughts had been broadcast to the world, she thought. The one person she somehow simultaneously wanted to see the most and the least in this moment was here.
"He won't. I'd put my money on her running away. It seems more likely." Amelia replied. This was strange, this new territory they had recently entered since she'd returned to work. They spoke – but never about the things that needed to be said.
"Yeah, I can see him doing that too. It took a long time for Megan to get through to him, although he was different back then – a lot more immature, still a playboy using the pre-fix Dr to get laid. I think things are different this time, for both of them." Owen was tentative about this situation – Nathan wasn't a bad guy, despite his past actions. He'd taken his own grief and guilt over Megan and transposed them all onto Riggs, resulting in anger so hot it made him see red. Now, with time and patience and way more therapy sessions than he'd ever admit to attending, he was beginning to see that Megan's death was no more Nathan's fault that it was his own. Life handed you crappy cards sometimes and there was no good explanation for it – blaming Nathan wasn't going to make Megan come back and he knew his friend had punished himself enough for what had happened.
"It's pretty serendipitous if you ask me. What are the chances of two people with the same battle wounds running into each other and falling for each other? It's fate – at least, I like to think so, maybe because I still want to believe in fate." Amelia looked over at Owen, locking eyes with him.
"Yeah – I'd like to believe in it too." Owen said quietly, his hand reaching across the table, resting on top of hers.
