She came up with the idea while trying to balance three lunch bags, a set of sand toys and three jackets in her arms simultaneously. Meredith had a rare day off – the hospital sprinkler system had malfunctioned this morning, resulting in a full shut down of the OR's until the situation was remedied. She'd sent her nanny away, wanting a quiet day with her kids, but hadn't expected the chaos that came with wrangling her crew.
"Bailey, stop hitting your sister." Her son was smacking Zola with a shovel, howling with laughter as she shrieked dramatically. Ellis was meanwhile amusing herself, calmly sitting on the floor and using her chubby toddler fingers to pick dried, ancient Cheerios out from under the stove and shove in her mouth, dust bunnies and all.
"Mama, UP!" Ellis raised her hands in the air, apparently satisfied with her snack and ready to be carted off elsewhere. Meanwhile, Zola had managed to take control of the shovel and was now using it to 'comb' Bailey's hair, much to his dismay.
"What are you doing today?" She knew Nathan was likely home as well, although she wasn't so sure how he'd feel about spending the day with her kids, getting sand in his shoes and very likely, also in his hair.
"Not much – unexpected day off." He'd sounded eager on the phone when she'd proposed he join them in the park. Meredith hadn't mentioned time with the kids to Nathan before, waiting for the appropriate time. Now seemed like a good enough time as any – she definitely needed the help. She figured if he had just been a friend, another member of her hospital family, she'd have asked him for help without hesitation. But did the rules change when they were…a sort of thing? She wasn't sure. She'd never done this before – she'd asked Arizona once, many months ago before there was a real someone to introduce. Her friend had kept it simple – don't let someone in to their lives until you're sure you want them to stick around. She wanted Nathan to stick around – this much she was sure of – so she figured it was time he realize what being with her really meant.
"Come on, get your shoes on." She hustled the two older children to the front door, Ellis hanging off of her, kicking her bare feet in resistance as Meredith attempted to slide on her Croc's.
"Ahh – Hi!" She'd opened the door just in time to see Nathan standing there, hand outstretched towards her doorbell.
"Hey. I figured I'd meet you here in case you needed help on the way." He was oddly nervous about this, more nervous than he'd been on their dinner date or other occasions. Nathan had of course met her kids during previous visits to her house and had seen her with them at the hospital daycare. But this was different – he'd never done anything like this before.
"Oh, thank God. Here – take this one." Meredith handed him Ellis rather unceremoniously, turning her attention to the other two, who were now fully engaged in sand toy warfare.
"Hi." Ellis seemed unphased at the transfer, her blue eyes staring intently at Nathan as she sucked on her fingers, a habit Meredith had unsuccessfully been trying to break.
"Hello." Nathan replied, rather simply. Ellis smiled at him, pulling her fingers from his mouth and promptly running them through his hair, giggling as he flinched inadvertently at her attempts to comb his hair.
"Guys, this is my friend Nathan. He's going to go with us to the park. Sound good?" The two older kids nodded, while Ellis remained fascinated with Nathan's hair, finding herself thrilled at playing with the real thing versus her Barbie's, most of which now sported a buzz cut.
"Hi Nathan! I'm Zola. Nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out formally, Nathan bending down to shake it. Meredith loved her daughter's spunk – she'd recently learnt how to shake hands at school and had spent the last month introducing herself to everyone, even those she knew well, just for the chance of a handshake.
"Mama!" Bailey gestured down to his mother. Meredith leaned down, conscious of how shy her son could be around new people. Upon hearing her son's quiet words, a smile spread across her face.
"Everything ok?" Nathan asked tentatively, acutely aware of the interaction.
"He wants you to know he's happy you're hear because you're a boy and you can protect him from all the girls." She told him, smirking, watching as Nathan's face relaxed.
"Ok, let's go guys!" Meredith led the way to her car.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" Ellis had stopped her combing and was now burying her face into his hair, taking deep sniffs. Nathan was happy he'd bothered to shower this morning, given this thorough inspection.
"Oh, God she's got this thing with hair. Ellis, come on sweetheart!" Meredith extracted her youngest from Nathan, much to her protest, strapping her in to the car seat.
"Ok guys – remember the rules: you stay where I can see you, you don't eat anything you find on the ground and no fighting!" The minute the car seats were unbuckled, the three descended onto the playground.
"Let's build a castle!" Zola shrieked, plopping herself into the sand, with her siblings following suit.
"You should go get me some good sticks. All castles need a fence to keep bad guys away." She said seriously to Nathan, finally acknowledging his presence. Meredith smiled at her oldest – she really wasted no time getting to know people before deciding that they existed to serve her. It was cute now, but she was already worried for how she'd handle her teenage years!
"I guess these will do. Now, Mommy you have to help me fill the buckets." Zola placed an empty bucket in front of each of her siblings and the adults.
"She's a tough critic. I thought my stick selection was excellent if I do say so myself." Nathan commented quietly to Meredith as he filled his bucket.
"She takes after her mother. You're also pretty behind at bucket filling." She said, slyly tipping his bucket and empting have the sand back out onto the playground.
"I'm being sabotaged! I now see why you needed me here." He winked at Bailey, producing a quiet giggle in the little boy.
"Zola, can the castle have Hot Wheels?" Bailey asked, bored with sand filling and now focused on his cars instead.
"No! Castles don't have cars, Bails. They have knights and dragons and cool stuff. No cars." Bailey sighed, accepting his fate. He was quiet and subdued, often overshadowed by his exuberant baby sister and his bossy older sister. He reminded Meredith a lot of her own little sister Lexie – the quiet kindness, his deep, intelligent nature.
"How about we build a race car castle next door to this castle? I mean, the only thing better than one cool castle is TWO castles!" Nathan was good with kids. He'd grown up surrounded by cousins and family, many of whom were younger than him. His brother had 3 kids and he loved visiting with them. For a long time, he wasn't sure about having his own – kids tied you down and he was by nature not someone who liked staying in one place for too long. But as he got older, as Megan came along and his priorities shifted, he'd began to look forward to having a family, although after she'd disappeared he'd once again given up on that dream. Now, being with Meredith's kids, he was reminded of those thoughts, his heart aching as the little boy jumped up and grabbed his hand, leading him to a new plot of sand in excitement.
"I guess two castles are good. But then we need a road to connect them! Mama, go get some rocks!" Zola was on a creative high, furiously building her empire. Ellis wandered between the two groups of siblings, occasionally trying to eat things she found in the dirt despite Meredith's watchful warning.
Meredith surveyed the scene, feeling a tightness in her chest. It looked so…right. Nathan gravitated between all three children, easily integrated into their play. She watched as he coerced a candy wrapper out of Ellis' chubby fist, instead replacing it with a sand toy, much less likely to result in a bowel obstruction. Zola leaned on his shoulder, peering at the castle Bailey was constructing, checking to make sure hers was still better. She remembered Derek in this role, the days they'd spent with their children remaining her most cherished memories. Meredith knew nothing would ever replace him – he was their father, her first true love, her everything. But she couldn't deny the happiness she felt in this moment, the happiness her children felt.
"Oh, what a beautiful family!" She turned her head, spotting an elderly couple coming down the path, smiling as they looked at her brood. She smiled back – they weren't quite a family yet, but maybe, just maybe they one day could be.
"Man, that was exhausting. I think I have sand in all the wrong places. And ketchup too." They were washing dishes in her kitchen, all three kids tucked in bed. After the park, Meredith had had a rare moment of domesticated bliss and had whipped up from French fries and chicken strips for them all. Nathan had been a life saver – he'd put up with Ellis' ketchup fingerpainting, helped clean up after Zola knocked over her plate of fries and had even consoled Bailey, who shed big, fat tears at the fact that there was not enough food left over for third helpings.
"Welcome to my life. Although, I'm lucky – there's lots of help around here. I don't know how real single moms do it." She was the first to admit her situation was unique and she was fortunate – she actually refused to even refer to herself as a 'single' mom, considering Alex, Maggie, Amelia and so many more of her colleagues were always around to help.
"They're great little kids – you've all done a spectacular job of making them into awesome, tiny humans." Nathan mused, genuinely impressed at the kindness and intelligence of the three Grey youngsters.
"I think they're just like that on their own, actually. They make me better. You're good with them – I thought they might freak you out." She admitted to him. After all, he as a single good looking man and she had enough baggage to fill an entire airport, even without delving into the fact that she was a mother of three.
"Freak me out? No – not at all! They're a big part of your life, of course. I'm happy you let me meet them today. Thank you." He put down his dish rag, closing the distance between them. Meredith smiled, leaning into his kiss.
"Hi." They pulled apart sharply, interrupted by Maggie's voice, standing in the doorway, face hard and expressionless.
"Maggie – you're back? Hey…um…" Meredith could feel her flushing. She hadn't seen her sister at home in several days now, her only interactions being briefly in the hospital.
"I wanted to talk to you." Maggie said, keeping her distance in the doorway.
"I'll head out to give you guys – " Nathan started.
"No – I wanted to talk to you both." She cut him off abruptly, her voice steady. This was awkward, it was taking every ounce of her energy to not turn around and bolt out of here. She'd prepared her monologue in her call room, downed two shots of tequila on the driveway and thought she was ready. But walking in on the tender moment between the two of them – it had shaken her confidence a bit, her feelings of anger and deceit roaring back to life.
"I get it, okay. You guys have a thing – a connection – because of similar pasts and shared heart break. I get it and I'm…going to try and…forgive. You both are my friends – family even – and I will…move on. But – I need some time, okay? Just…it's been a hard year." She started strong but could feel her voice falter towards the end.
"Maggie…" Meredith crossed her kitchen, the pained look on her sisters face hard for her to witness.
"I'm sorry for what I said, Mer. It was in anger and I'm sorry. And Nathan – I'm sorry for how I treated you in the OR. It was unprofessional and just wasn't very nice. That won't happen again. I need to…move on." Both of them were standing by her now, making it harder for her to keep eye contact. She clenched her jaw, determined to keep her head up and finish this.
"I'm moving out. Not right away – I need to find a place, because maybe Weber can do it but I just can't live in the call rooms. I'm pretty sure I have athlete's foot from using the change room showers! Anyways – I need to move out. It's not just because of…this. It's everything - I'm a grown woman and I need to start living like one. I'll still visit and I'd like to still hang out with the kids – but I can't live here anymore." Meredith nodded quietly at this revelation.
"Ok. I'm going to go upstairs and take a long, private, fungus-free shower and then I'm going to close my door, put in my earplugs and sleep in my big, comfy bed. Goodnight." She turned around, stomping up the stairs before either of them could say anything.
