Always Have and Always Will- Chapter 13
Over the next two days, things were getting a bit better; they were talking to each other nearly like they used to, they would even laugh and smile and even kissed once. Things were getting better but it still wasn't okay. Alison still had moments in which she remembered the things said and they would bother her. She would go quiet and not pay attention to anything and Emily had no clue what to do.
This morning Emily had woken up before Alison, she knew since it was a Saturday and they would be together the full day Alison would have at least one of her moments. Emily desperately needed advice. She quietly sat out on the front porch as the phone rang.
"Hello." A soothing voice said on the other side.
"Hi, mom."
"I was just about to call you, Em. How are you? How are things at home with Alison?"
"Not good, after our talk we barely spoke and two days ago, we finally started doing something about it but she still has these moments where…where she just goes quiet and remembers every word and I don't know what to do."
"Darling, Alison isn't okay with you not wanting kids; she wants to be because she loves you and doesn't want to lose you but she has dreamed of having children for years. You need to be patient and show her that you are willing to try and change."
"What if I can't change? What do I do then?" Tears began to prick at the brunette's eyes. She was worried that if she couldn't change she would lose the blonde forever. She would never be able to deal with that. Her life would be empty without the blonde.
"Emily, remember when you were maybe about eight or nine? You loved taking care of that one doll, you wouldn't let it out of your sight." Emily laughed as she remembered her favourite doll that she would not part with for the world. "You loved taking care of her and pretending to be a mom, and I still think you want to be a mom but you're just scared and don't want to admit it." Silence filled the line, Pam was right; Emily was scared; she was scared that she wouldn't be a good mom. The thought genuinely terrified her.
Alison walked downstairs to find Emily outside, for a minute she stood listened to the conversation. She knew she shouldn't but it was weird for Emily to be calling anyone this early in the morning.
"I think you're right; I did want to be a mom and I think I still do but what if I'm a bad mom?" A smile formed on the blonde's face; maybe this will work out she thought to herself.
"Every future mother thinks that; I thought that when I was about to have you but look at you, you're amazing. I am beyond proud of you and what you have achieved. You will never know if you'll be a good mom until you become one and then you can get better; you and Alison will help each other every step of the way." Pam's advice couldn't be any better; Alison agreed with every word because she was also scared. "Your dad was the better parent when I couldn't be and he made me a better mother; you and Alison will do the exact same for each other if or when the time comes."
A smile formed on Emily's face; maybe Pam was right and she really could be a mother. The brunette has always loved kids, maybe just maybe she will be able to overcome her fears.
"Thanks, mom. I know what I need to do now." Alison smiled and walked away from the window and went outside as Emily hung up.
"Morning." For the first time in the past week Alison saw a genuine smile on the brunette's face as she spoke.
"Hey, who were you on the phone with?"
"My mom."
"And what did she say?" Alison sat down beside Emily.
"Oh, nothing." The smile on Emily's face said something different and Alison knew it but she was going to let Emily enjoy this.
"Um Okay."
"We should do something today?" Emily said after a minute of comfortable silence.
"Like?"
"I don't know; go to the cinema, go for lunch or dinner?"
"Yeah, that sounds really good." Alison's amazing smile returned to her face and caused butterflies in Emily's stomach. She leaned in and kissed the blonde. For the first time in the past week everything felt right again. It felt normal again. It felt as though everything would work out and be okay soon.
