Chapter Six

Peter stopped dead in the doorway of the cafeteria. Cassie saw the horrified look on his face and followed the direction of his gaze. For there, in the cafeteria, sat Susan with three of the bitchiest girls in Anomie High besides Bella.

"Crap," murmured Cassie. "Well, Pete, you're her brother."

"So?" he asked, not particularly liking where this conversation was going.

"So," she replied, "you have to go get her!"

Cassie tried pushing Peter forward but he resisted her with screams of "Noooo!" Fortunately, Cassie was a lot stronger than Peter, and she succeeded in moving him over to Susan.

"Ew," said Regina, looking up at Peter. "What is that?"

Susan turned around. Her eyes widened and she adopted a rather appalled expression.

"Peter!" she hissed. "Go away!"

"Ew!" Karen shrieked. "You know him?"

Peter sucked in his chest and tried to look brave. "Susan Pevensie, you're coming with me right now!"

"No," Susan said simply.

Peter shrugged and started to turn around. "At least I tried," he said dismissively to Cassie. She rolled her eyes and pushed him back to the table.

"Please will come with us, Susan?" Cassie asked.

"No," Susan said again.

"You're not her owner," said Gretchen. "She doesn't have to do what you say, does she, Regina?"

"Shut up, Gretchen," Regina said. "Are you her owner, Peter?"

Peter looked surprised. "Me? Um... No, I don't... I don't think so..."

"Well, Susan doesn't want to go with you," Regina hissed. "So you can go shave your back now. Buh-bye."

Peter looked sideways to Cassie for support. She looked as confused as he did.

x

They found Lucy sat on a bench having a very animated conversation with two boys.

"Ghobe', ghobe', ghobe'!" Lucy was screaming. "Of course you don't use the golden sickle to chop off the Kruen's head, Moe! How can you be such a QipwI'!"

Peter looked warily at Lucy. "Do you think she's gone mad?" he whispered to Cassie.

"I wouldn't like to say," she whispered back.

"Lucy!" Peter called. Lucy looked up and gave him an odd sort of wave – her hand was raised, with her palm facing forward, but there were partitions between the middle and the ring finger and the thumb, creating the illusion that she only had three fingers.

"Savan!" she cried.

"Hey, Lucy," Cassie said slowly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm great!" Lucy said excitedly. "I want you to meet my friend, Pat!"

"Hi," said Cassie, giving Pat a small nod.

He was a small, thin boy who looked incredibly undernourished, with glasses and ginger hair and crooked teeth. He gave Cassie a toothy smile and then pulled an inhaler out of his pocket.

"Who's this?" Cassie asked about the other boy.

"Oh," Lucy said, giving the second boy a disgusted look. "That's Moe. He's Pat's friend."

Moe was of a similar build to Pat, with the pastiest skin Cassie had ever seen. He gave Cassie a weak smile.

"So, what have you been up to?" asked Peter.

"Well," started Lucy, "Pat, who is a very generous young man, let me play on his computer console!"

"What's a computer console?" asked Peter.

"It's, like, only the greatest thing ever!" gushed Lucy. "Anyway, he let me play on Intergalactic Space Battles 3: The Final Frontier!"

"What's that?" asked Cassie.

Lucy looked at Cassie as if she were some form of an abomination. "You don't know what Intergalactic Space Battles 3: The Final Frontier is? It's only, like, the best computer game in the history of computer games! Basically, what you have to do is defeat the evil Lord Nazar, who is leader of the Kruken Star-fleet. But it's not just as simple as just, like, firing on each-others' ships, because what you have to do is, like, infiltrate his star-fleet, and then you become, like, a spy, and then you pretend you're actually working for him, when you're actually just killing half his crew! But it's really, like, difficult, because you have to kill theses things called Kruens, which are like giant... giants, and you can only kill them by stabbing them in the heart with a silver machete. Not a golden sickle!" She looked pointedly at Moe.

"Wow, that sounds..." Cassie tried to think of an appropriate word to describe how horrifically violent the game sounded, but was interrupted by the bark of the school principal.

"Mr. McCrotch!" he cried.

Pat stood up and faced the principal. "Yes, Mr. Rowen?"

"Why are you sat on a bench when the sun is quite clearly shining?"

Pat looked petrified. "I... I... I'm not sure, sir," he stammered. Cassie noticed that he had a rather heavy lisp.

"You!" he shouted at Moe. "Who are you?"

"I'm Moe, Sir," Moe whispered, standing up.

"Are you new?"

"No, Sir," he said. "I've been here for five years, Sir."

Mr. Rowen narrowed his eyes. "Moe..." he repeated. "Moe what?"

"Lester, Sir."

Mr. Rowen chuckled. "Ah, yes," he said. "I remember... Well, stop loitering!" And with that he left, never to be seen again for the remainder of the story.

"So..." Cassie said slowly, not quite sure of what to make of that intrusion. "You ready to go home, Lucy? I don't have any more lessons today and Hogwarts have gone home already, so–"

"Nooooo!" Lucy cried, falling to her knees. "I'm begging you, don't make me go! Pat invited me to his house! He's making enchiladas!"

"Okay, relax!" Cassie hissed, watching the tears stream down Lucy's face. She took a piece of paper out of her bag and began writing something on it. She passed it to Lucy when she was done. "This is my address. When you're done at Pat's house, get him to call you a taxi. Alright?"

Lucy gasped and got up off the floor. "You're so awesome," she said. "Pat's going to teach me some more Klingon!" Lucy grabbed Pat's arm and skipped away with him, leaving a rejected Moe to run along after them.

"Wait," Peter said slowly. "They're called Pat McCrotch and Moe Lester?"

Cassie shook her head and began walking across the school yard towards the bus. "It's better if you just don't think about it."

For puckleberryforeva, meow139, lowi, and Elizabeth Zara.

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