Hi, hello. I decided to turn this into one-shot series also. So, I hope you guys enjoy this angst-filled OS. I wanted to write a happy ending, but the fans wanted something else and unlike the writers of svu and ouat, i listen to the fans. So, I hope you guys don't kill me too much!
Olivia got home after one of the hardest cases she had in awhile. She slammed the door behind her and kicked her shoes off. After the week she had, the last thing she wanted to do was be alone, but she had no other choice. She trusted her squad, but not enough to let them see her vulnerable.
She didn't have a child to distract her, and Regina had left her last week. She couldn't blame anyone but herself, though. She was pushing her away and Regina was tired of the distance. Olivia missed her. She missed having someone to come home to after days like this. She missed having someone to call when she knew she was in over her head with the case.
She walked in the kitchen and went straight to the wine. She didn't even bother to grab a glass, there was no need. She was going to finish this all tonight. She walked to the couch and sat down while popping open the bottle. She turned the TV on to give her some kind of background noise while she drowned herself in her thoughts.
She couldn't help but to think about Baby Boy Doe. He was so precious and had no one to go home to. After both her and Regina tried to get pregnant, but failed, they just gave the idea of having kids up. They both were content and happy with Henry.
But after seeing that baby, she had a feeling that she was supposed to be his mother. She mentally kicked herself for not speaking up in court earlier today. She could have him in her arms right now, but no. She didn't deserve him she thought to herself. He needed a mother that didn't work crazy hours and wasn't becoming an alcoholic. She didn't deserve any happiness. She was used to living the sad life that she had been living since birth. The only light in her life, Regina and Henry, were now gone. She was back to the drawing board.
Her phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts. She reached in her pocket and was surprised to see Regina's face. She immediately answered. "Hey." She tried not to sound so eager, but she missed her.
"Fin called me and said it was a tough case. I'm just calling to check on you." Regina wanted nothing more than to be with Olivia right now, but she wasn't sure Olivia felt the same way. They were starting to communicate less and less, and their relationship felt more like they were roommates than partners.
"Oh." She didn't tell her squad they had broken up, but it wasn't abnormal for them to call Regina ahead of time if they knew Olivia had a bad day. "I'm fine. Just another bad case. I'm used to it."
And there she was being distant again. Regina had never met a person that used the "I'm fine." line more than her until Olivia entered her life three years ago. She didn't have the energy to fight her tonight. "Okay. Henry said hi, by the way."
She could tell that Regina was trying to be strong. She was using the voice she only used when she was in office. Walls up, emotions put away. "Tell him I said hello, and that I miss him."
"I will. If you're okay, I'm going to let you go. Take care of yourself, Olivia. Goodnight." She said before hanging up. She let out a sigh before looking up at Henry over the kitchen counter. "Happy?"
"No. You guys are so stubborn. I miss Olivia and you do too."
"Henry, some things just doesn't work out how it's suppose to. We tried to make things work."
"Try harder, then. When did you start giving up?" He asked before he jumped down from the seat and walked away.
"You want custody of Baby Boy Doe?" Trevor asked to make sure he heard Olivia right.
"Yes. He has no family, and there's no need to put him in the system if someone is willing to take him." After thinking about this for a week, she knew she needed to step up and say something. She wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world, and that baby needed a mother.
"Okay." He paused for a moment. "Are you in a relationship?"
Olivia closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "Not anymore."
His eyes slightly widen. Last he heard, she was dating the ex-mayor. He cleared his throat. "Any siblings?"
She was starting to feel a strange sense of deja vu. "No."
"Olivia..." Despite being an asshole in court, Trevor had a small heart. He did want Baby Boy Doe to have a loving home, and despite her situation, he knew she had a heart of gold.
"Yes, I know I'm not the ideal candidate, but no one else is jumping up to take care of him." She was well aware that she could easily get overlooked, but this was her only hope at having children.
"I'll put in a good word." He simply said.
Olivia let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She said getting up from her seat.
"But, it would help if you used some of your ex's connections." He quickly added. "Or figure things out between the two of you guys again."
She knew he meant no harm, but that's the last thing that she wanted to hear. "Thanks." She said with no emotions in her voice before she walked out of his office.
"Olivia, what are you doing here?" Henry said when he opened the door.
"To talk to your mom. Is she here?" Olivia asked not stepping into the house yet. She came over to try to win Regina back, and she didn't want to do anything that would ruin her or lessen her chances.
"Yeah, she's in her office." He said moving over to let her in.
Even after dating for almost three years, she found it kind of odd that her and Regina never moved in together. Even after Regina's term was over, the conversation never came up.
"You kinda have to move your feet if you want to get to her." Henry said bringing Olivia back to reality.
She gave him a small smile. "Right." She made her way down the hall to the office that held a plethora of memories for the two of them. This is where they had their first kiss, it was the place they first made love, and it was also the place they found out they couldn't have kids and when Regina told Olivia that she couldn't continue this relationship anymore.
The door was closed like always. She didn't know if she should knock or not. Olivia didn't know why she was nervous, it was just Regina.
Before she could make a decision to open the door or knock, it flew open.
"I made the decision for you." Regina said still looking down at her papers.
"Thought you were done using magic." Olivia said walking in.
"I only use it in the house." She said finally looking up at Olivia and instantly regretting it. She looked so beautiful, so damn beautiful. Her hair was in it's natural state, just the way Regina liked it. She had on dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and her glasses. Every single one of Regina's weaknesses.
"Oh, okay." Olivia said smirking to herself. She knew that look on Regina's face and she had gotten her right she wanted her. "I wanted to talk about us." She said sitting down.
"Now you want to talk?" Regina asked getting extremely defensive.
"I deserve that."
"But you don't deserve me."
And that hurt Olivia, but she was right. Regina was too good for Olivia and knew that, but yet never treated her the way she should be treated. "I hurt you, a lot. I'm sorry."
Regina crossed her arms and bit her bottom lip. She felt herself getting emotional and she hated that Olivia could do this to her. She had no control over her emotions when it came to her. "I just tried to be there for you, Olivia. I don't why you kept pushing me away."
"You were the first person that ever tried to be there for me, and I didn't know how to react." After being having two miscarriages, Olivia shut down. She didn't want to feel again because she was afraid of being hurt. She blamed herself for both failed pregnancies.
"I was your girlfriend! I was just as hurt as you! You say I'm guarded, but I think you took the crown. You shut me out and that was the end of our relationship. How can I fight for someone when they don't even want to get in the ring? I love you. I will always love you, but you are one stubborn son of a bitch, and I'm tired of yanking your arm to get information out of you. When you can talk about your feelings, maybe we can work, but until you change something, there is no us."
"I need you, Regina." She weakly admitted. Everything said was true. She hadn't been herself and it wasn't fair that Regina had to deal with that.
Regina broke eye contact and didn't speak for a few minutes. This was all too much for her. "And I needed you. I needed you to be there for me because I lost two children, too. I needed you to be there for me when I lost the race. It's always about you, Olivia, but what about me? What about what I need?" She said with her voice cracking and tears threatening to run down her faces. She put her all and more into this relationship and towards the end, she wasn't getting that back.
"How was I supposed to talk to you when you were dealing with your own demons? It wouldn't have been fair if I dumped all my problems on you, but don't you dare say I wasn't there for you. I held you for countless nights crying with you after finding out you were infertile. I was the one running baths and cooking dinners when you were out campaigning. You were barely home, but I made sure everything was still right for you when you did come home. Do not try to make me out to be some inconsiderate asshole." Olivia went from sympathetic to angry. She had made some mistakes in their relationship, but she was not selfish at all.
Regina was silent as she tried to process this entire conversation. She wanted Olivia to talk to her, and she got her wish. She took a deep breath. "So, what now, Olivia?"
Olivia twisted her lips and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know."
"Please don't give up." Henry said walking in the room. "You guys love each other. Just stop being so stubborn." He looked at Regina. "You have to give people space, mom, including me. Everyone doesn't like to talk about things all the time. Just wait until they're ready." He turned his attention to Olivia. "And you need to tell people when you want space. Just saying that you're fine is not enough. Both of you guys can't function without each other, so make this right." He said before walking back out of the office, but this time slamming the door shut behind him.
Olivia and Regina made eye contact, both with watery eyes. They both wanted this, but was it too late?
"Thank you for dinner." Olivia said quietly as she wiped her mom with a napkin.
"It was the least I could do, considering this is our last time." They both agreed that even though they loved each other dearly, it was just best that they let this go.
"Yeah, I don't really want to think about that." Olivia said trying to fight back tears. Regina was the first real relationship she had, and although it had it's ups and downs, it was the best time of her life.
"Sorry." But Regina didn't want to think about it either. They both put so much into the relationship and now it was over. Regina knew she was going to have a hard time getting over this, and if she was actually being honest, she would probably never get over it.
Regina stood up from the table, gathering dishes. "I'll start cleaning up."
Olivia jumped up from her seat. "No, you cooked. I got it." She tried to grab the dishes from her.
"Olivia, stop it. You're a guest. It's only right for me to clean up." She didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but the last thing she wanted was Olivia sticking around any longer. All she wanted to do at this moment was climb in bed and cry herself to sleep.
She looked up at her and had a hurtful smirk on her face. "You threw your walls up pretty quick."
"I did−"
Olivia cut her off. "Doesn't mean it didn't hurt any less. I'll just go." Olivia said with a slightly trembling lip. She walked out of the kitchen and the house before making sure she slammed the door behind her.
"Well, Olivia, I have some great news for you. Will Regina be joining us today?"
"No." She answered as she played with her hands nervously. "We actually broke up."
The smile from the doctor's face immediately faded. "Oh, that's a shame. Our test shows you're about fourteen weeks pregnant. You've never made it this far in any of the other pregnancies."
Olivia didn't hear anything after the word pregnant. Why was God playing this cruel trick on her? It had been weeks since she stormed out of Regina's house and now the only thing they wanted more than each other was happening. The last round of treatment was the one that worked, but they took tests. It came up negative every time. That was really the final straw for their relationship.
"Olivia, did you hear me?"
"I, um, I have to go." She said jumping off of the table and rushing out of the room.
Olivia had tried to call Regina dozens of times, but she kept getting sent straight to voicemail. She knew it was Regina declining her calls, but this was an important issue.
Regina, this is serious. Please pick up the phone.
Regina rolled her eyes and sighed when she read the message. She pressed the phone icon next to Olivia's name and prepared herself for the worst.
"What, Olivia?"
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out. There was no use of beating around the bush.
Very times in her life had Regina ever been rendered speechless, but this was one of the times. Of course this would happen once they broke up. She was jealous of course. She was always jealous when Olivia got a positive test. She didn't mind expanding the family, but she wanted more than anything to help with the expansion. She was just getting used to the fact that it was okay that she couldn't bear children and now this happened.
"Regina, talk to me."
She swallowed hard and had to make sure she didn't get emotional. "I don't know why you called me. This is your child, Olivia. You do whatever you want. Congratulations." She said before she hung up the phone. She wanted to be there with Olivia, she wanted to experience the joys of motherhood all over again, but she couldn't. It wasn't her place anymore.
That wasn't the response Olivia expected, but Regina was right. They weren't together anymore, but in Olivia's mind this was still their child. She rubbed her stomach and sighed. "I guess it's just you and me, Blake." Blake was the name Regina and Olivia had agreed on if they ever had a child, and even though Regina was no longer in the picture, she was still in Olivia's heart.
I hate myself for this, but oh well. She obviously didn't get Noah, and she kept the baby. Review here on on twitter (queenimance)
