Chapter 12
Stephanie spent the next four days on autopilot. Jase decided to take advantage of Stephanie's anger and resentment and channel it into her training. Three hours a day were devoted to the betterment of Stephanie Plum. She spent the first hour running on the treadmill and doing the fitness routine Jase had designed for her. The second hour was spent teaching her an Israeli form of close contact combat called Krav Maga. The Israel Defense may have created it, but the FBI, the US Special Forces and the Irish and British Special Forces were staunch followers. It was an unscripted, raw and very realistic form of self-defense and there was a gritty 'him or me' quality involved that felt especially rewarding to Stephanie. She reveled in the opportunity to vent her spleen on Jase all in the name of training.
Jase had procured mouth guard kits, wrappings for their hands, shin protectors and waist guards from the closet in Ranger's office. When Stephanie questioned how realistic the skirmishes would seem with all the safeguards in place, he explained that she needed to learn to throw punches and kick properly. She wouldn't throw punches hard enough if she was afraid of hurting her hands. And as a woman, she was more likely not to use full force if she subconsciously thought she was going to hurt him. She wasn't sure she agreed with him. She really wanted to hurt him.
They would break for lunch, with Stephanie eating alone in the dining area and Jase taking his MRE to the office. They never had casual conversation. Jase would bark out instructions while training her, shake his head in disgust or mock her, asking if this was the best she could do. When that didn't get the reaction he wanted, he would flat out insult her.
In the afternoon, they would spend an hour freestyle kickboxing. He gave her little instruction; just let her work through her aggression. Occasionally he would taunt her, call her Princess and wonder aloud if she broke a nail. She had broken all of her nails but she had also broken the glass on the front of the stereo cabinet, the leg of one end table and Jase's healing nose. When her energy began to flag, he'd get more insulting, more demanding, more demeaning.
Which was how she found herself pinned face down on the living room floor. He was sitting on the small of her back with her wrists pinned easily over her head in one hand. His sweaty form was leaning over her and a bead of blood from his nose had just dripped down onto her cheek.
"I thought we were kickboxing. I didn't know this was a free-for-all," she spat through her mouth guard.
"Little Princess fell down and went boom. You think your opponent's going to play fair?"
She wiggled her hips and tugged at her arms ineffectively for a moment before pausing to rethink her strategy.
Jase tipped forward until his mouth was touching her ear. He whispered, "Keep wiggling, puta, and I'll hurt you in a different way."
She tried to block out his words knowing he was only trying to test her resolve, train her not to react from emotion. She chanted a mantra in her head. His words mean nothing. He can't break me. He won't break me.
Gathering her strength, she bucked her hips trying valiantly to dislodge him. He didn't move an inch. Chuckling, he murmured in her ear, "Very nice, Princess. Are you this lively when Manoso rides you?"
Silently cursing the tears in her eyes, she gritted out, "Shut the fuck up!"
In the blink of an eye, he flipped her over, never losing his hold on her wrists. His hard thighs bracketing hers, his other arm crossed his body as though he were about to backhand her. She never flinched or closed her eyes.
Dropping his arm he leaned over her again, staring at her through his chillingly emotionless eyes. "You're a brave little whore, you know that?" His calloused finger touched gently where her pulse beat madly at the hollow of her throat. Then it skimmed down her sternum, her abdomen, until it paused just under the elastic of her running shorts. Still panting from her exertions, she kept as still as she could and stared belligerently back at him.
His eyes dropped to where his finger played idly with the drawstring he'd tugged out of her shorts. Quietly he said, "You think Manoso is gonna want you back after I get through with you? He seems like a fastidious man. He might not want to kiss that pretty mouth of yours after you've swallowed me a couple dozen times."
She turned her head to the side, squeezed her eyes shut tight. His words mean nothing. He can't break me. He won't break me. His words mean nothing. He can't break me. He won't break me.
He maneuvered a finger up under her waist guard and swirled his finger into her belly button. "Come to think of it, he might not like how I'll leave that pussy of yours. Not to mention what I'm gonna do to your pristine little ass."
Stephanie snapped. She tipped her pelvis to the side and got just enough leverage to lift her head high. Opening her jaw, she caught a hunk of flesh on Jase's inner arm between her mouth guard and lower teeth and clamped her teeth shut. Hard.
Jase hissed in pain and lifted his pelvis from hers as he dug his fingers into her jaw, attempting to get her to open her mouth. He forcibly spat his mouth guard out and yelled, "Don't fuckin' break the skin! Let go!"
Mouth still clamped around his arm, Stephanie held still, panting through her nose and glaring at him with fire in her eyes.
Jase muttered, "Goddamn it," and pinched hard at the joints of her jaw, forcing her to let go.
He stood up from his crouched position over her and started stripping off his gear. She lay prone on the floor, too mentally and physically exhausted to move.
"Nicely done. But don't ever fuckin' bite me again."
She stared at him boldly. "I'm not sorry I did it."
Shaking his head, he studied his inner arm, clearly relieved that there was only bruising and a crescent row of teeth marks. "If you had broken the skin, you would have put me at risk for a very nasty infection. The broad-spectrum antibiotics Carlos has may not have cut it. You may hate me, but you need me healthy. No teeth. No nails. You got me?"
Dropping her eyes, she nodded.
He shook his head and walked toward the kitchen. "Go take a shower."
As he rooted in the freezer for ice, she limped to the bathroom and closed the door. Turning on the water, she peeled off her tank top, running shorts, bra and panties and stood under the scalding spray until her skin turned pink. Then she scrubbed her body down with Ranger's shower gel. Once she rinsed the lather away, she pressed her face and chest into the cool tile wall and wept.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, Jase was leaning against the wall opposite the door. Panicked and clad only in her towel, she clutched her dirty clothes to her chest.
His eyes coasted lazily down her body before returning on the same leisurely route to her face. "You know, the mouth is actually one of the dirtiest parts of the human body."
Glaring at him, she made her way to the bedroom. She attempted to shut the door in his face but he stopped its momentum with the heel of his hand.
Stepping into the closet, she heard the creak of him sitting on the bed. He said, "If you'd ever seen an infection from a human bite, you wouldn't be so insulted. I'm gonna have to assume that since Carlos is comfortable swapping bodily fluids with you, you're clean. It's just that the human mouth-"
"I have the clap. And oral herpes. I just noticed a tingle on my lip this morning."
She heard him snort. Since she hadn't thought to grab any fresh underwear, she had no choice but to go commando. With a sigh, she pulled on some running pants and one of Ranger's thicker hoodies.
Walking out of the closet, she saw that Jase was lying on Ranger's side of the bed, head on Ranger's pillow, and he was fiddling with her hand-held tracking computer. She had mentally dubbed it her 'Mensa phone'.
Narrowing her eyes at him, she tugged the pillow from under his head and grabbed the phone from his hand.
Clutching Ranger's pillow to her chest, she pushed a few buttons on the phone and sighed when she saw his little green light shining brightly. The light blurred and distorted as her eyes glazed with more stupid, unwanted tears.
Jase sat up and studied her. "You have to toughen up, sweetness, or you're not gonna make it in his world."
Placing the phone gently on the dresser, she muttered, "I'm getting there. You make a very convincing rapist, Jase. On the job training?"
He flinched a moment before his face fell into the blank lines of the soulless. "You think I could rape you? You think I find pleasure in causing you pain?"
She whispered, "Yes."
He shook his head minutely and stood up. "Good." He stepped forward until he was inches in front of her. "Maybe I'll get a bonus when this is all over. Some compensation for the never-ending boner-"
She hauled off and smacked him in the face. His head jerked on impact but he was otherwise frighteningly still.
She smacked him again, harder, and in exactly the same spot on his tanned cheek. He took a step back, shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. "If you're trying to get me to hit back, it's not going to work. But I have to tell you; I really wish you'd lay off my face. God knows between Manoso and you, my nose is never going to be the same. I'd like to get laid in the next decade."
She laughed mirthlessly and stepped around him to walk to the bathroom. He followed her. Stepping in front of the mirror, she tugged a brush through her hair, attempting to tame it enough to put in a ponytail.
He leaned in the doorway, watching her. "If you think those things I said to you while we were training were bad, you're in for a rude awakening."
Ignoring him, she twisted an elastic around her hair, flipped off the light and headed for the den.
When she flopped onto the couch, he sat down next to her. She got up, grabbed the remote and pushed the chair into a position to view the TV.
Jase stood up and turned off the TV moments after she clicked it on. She threw the remote at his chest and said, "Would you leave me alone? You don't strike me as the social type. You strike me more as the serial killer type. What's your story? Overbearing mother? Abusive father? Can't get laid because your charming personality scares chicks away? Can't keep a woman? No wonder you're such a brilliant rape-defense trainer. You probably get a hard-on every time you get an assignment."
His flat eyes sharpened, his pupils spiraled down to pinpricks.
After a long minute of staring at her, he spun on his heel and went down the hall.
At midnight, Stephanie decided it was time to take her sore body to bed. When she passed Jase's room, she saw that the door was open and Jase was sitting on the floor, back against the daybed, staring at the wall across from him.
She paused in the doorway and looked at him. There was something so sad about his bearing, but she couldn't put a finger on what it was. His jaw was tense, his eyes were dry and if he was breathing, she couldn't detect it.
He was dressed in his usual track pants and no shirt. He had long elegant feet with neatly clipped toenails. She could just see the blossoming bruise on the inside of his left arm. It was in almost the same place as her tracker. When her eyes reached his face, she saw that he was watching her impassively.
His hard mouth twisted to the side as he scrutinized her. "Like what you see? Better scurry off to bed before you trigger my rapist tendencies, Princess." He looked down at his lap, tugged his waistband away from his stomach and peered into his pants. "No hard-on yet, but you never know with us serial killer types."
Her eyes dropped to the floor in shame. Clearing her throat, she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
He sighed and resumed staring at the wall. "I know."
Stepping into the room, Stephanie skirted around him and climbed up on the bed. Lounging back on the pillows propped against the wall, she stared at the back of his head.
Softly she said, "What's your story?"
He choked out a laugh. "You don't want to hear that, Princess."
"Yes. Actually, I do."
After a long, protracted silence, he finally said, "I wasn't always this charming."
A laughed bubbled out of her unexpectedly. Stephanie tipped on her side and curled up against his pillow. It smelled like Ivory soap. "What were you like?"
His head angled down as he stared at his hands in his lap. "I know you'll find this hard to believe, but I was a smartass."
"I can see that."
"I partied too much, drank too much, got high too much-"
Stephanie interjected, "Got laid too much; I get the picture. Then what happened?"
She could almost hear the smile in his voice when he said, "Can you really get laid too much?"
"Jase."
"Shit. I don't know. I joined the Navy."
"You weren't Army like Ranger?"
"Nope. Navy like your boyfriend."
She sucked in a breath. "He's not my boyfriend anymore. How do you know about Joe?"
"It's my job. I know everything about my principal before I accept an assignment."
"Is Ranger paying you?"
"He'll try, but I won't accept it."
"So you were playing dumb asking all those questions about how long Ranger and I have been together?"
"I thought I was playing smart."
"You didn't meet Ranger in the military?"
"I did."
"But you're Navy and he's Army."
"I was a SEAL and he was a Ranger."
"They work together?"
"At times."
"So … you became an asshole when you met Ranger? I can see that."
He barked out a laugh and shook his head. "You're a trip. I can see the appeal. I bet you didn't fall all over him and bat your eyelashes when you met him."
"No. He intimidated me, but I didn't want to insult him. He bothered to show up and I could tell that he was more than the persona he projected so I just treated him with professional respect."
"Huh. That had to have been a new one for Carlos. Usually chicks piss their pants and run away, or they flop on their backs and beg."
"Nice. Thanks for sharing."
"I'm just sayin'."
"How did the women react to you?"
"About the same as they did to Carlos."
"Modest much?"
"Just telling you how it was."
"You haven't really told me anything. You're doing the same thing Ranger does. Throwing out tidbits, making me think you're giving me something but in reality you've told me nothing."
"Carlos know you have that all figured out?"
"Yes."
He shook his head in mock sadness. "Carlos is a dead man."
She whispered, "Don't say that."
He turned and looked at her, and for the first time she saw humanity in his eyes. "It was just a joke—I didn't really mean it literally."
"I know. Just don't joke about it. Please."
He turned back around and looked down at his lap again. "Her name was Isobel."
Stephanie said nothing; afraid he wouldn't continue if she interrupted.
"We met working a case together. She was a profiler."
"And you were?"
"Hired for the assignment by a faction of the government that doesn't exist."
"Okay."
"She was … she is a beautiful woman. Maybe not classically. Kind of a girl next-door thing goin' on, you know? She's Puerto Rican."
"You keep going between was and is. She's … she's alive, right?"
"Yes."
"So…"
"So we fell in love. I resisted for a long time. She had a relatively safe life and I …"
"Got it."
"But she wore me down eventually. She moved in with me, but with my, uh, job the way it was, we still didn't have a whole lot of time together. She came up with this idea that my team could use a profiler. She would go on undercover assignments with us and we'd have access to a 'real time' profiler; the psychological muscle we were missing on the team.
"I didn't go for it at first. I'm no different than Carlos. I just wanted to keep her as far from that side of my life as possible."
Stephanie asked, "But eventually?"
"Eventually I agreed. I trained her myself," he said ruefully.
"And?"
"An assignment went FUBAR. She wasn't even supposed to be near the compound. She got shot."
"But you said she's alive."
"She got shot low, near the spine." His hands tightened into fists in his lap until his knuckles turned white. He mumbled, "She suffered from paralysis for a while. She, uh … she can never have kids because of it."
Stephanie said nothing for a while and Jase didn't seem to have anything to add. Finally, Steph said, "I'm sorry."
As if she hadn't spoken, he said, "I saw it happen. I was so pissed off at her for being where she shouldn't be. It was like two worlds collided and I couldn't just go with the flow. I wasn't sharp. I wasn't paying enough attention. I wasn't alert. Not like I should have been."
Suddenly, something clicked into place for Stephanie. "Are you—are you Ranger's friend that gave him the SEALS hat?"
He nodded once.
Without thinking, she blurted, "I thought you were dead."
He smiled derisively at her and said, "You've met me. I might as well be."
"Don't say that."
"She married someone else."
"She left you?"
"No."
"You left her?"
"I pushed her away. I stayed with her through her recovery. But I couldn't take the way she looked at me. I was responsible for destroying her life and she only looked at me with love in her eyes. Acceptance. Hope."
"I don't understand."
"Fuck, Stephanie, she could have been permanently paralyzed. She can't have kids." He muttered, "I couldn't get past the guilt."
Stephanie sighed and reached to stroke the back of Jase's hair once. His eyes closed as he pressed his head back into her hand.
Just as she was beginning to doze, she thought about the story Jase had told her. Ranger had to know all of it.
"Jase?"
"Mmmm?" He was beginning to nod off too.
"When did this happen?"
"Five years ago." He reached over her and grabbed a pillow and then curled up on the floor beside the bed.
Five years was a long time. But when she had met Ranger, only two years would have passed. Those two years had certainly been long enough for Ranger to decide that his lifestyle didn't lend itself to relationships. After seeing what had happened with his friend, could she really blame him for thinking that?
She realized that by telling her his story, Jase had told her Ranger's story too.
The satellite phone jolted them both awake the next morning. Jase pushed up off the floor and nearly knocked the phone off the desk as he grabbed for it.
"Yo."
Stephanie sat up, shoved a hank of hair away from her face and watched Jase warily. She knew who it was when Jase's eyes locked on hers.
Stephanie leaned forward and grabbed the phone from him. "Carlos? Are you okay?"
