Chapter 2
It was three days before Doyle found the time and the courage to see June. He'd learned from Mary that she was still in hospital but due out in a few days' time. He went round to the hospital with flowers, some baby knitwear which Betty had quickly knitted for him, and a heavy feeling in his heart.
The maternity ward was one of the few wards that Doyle was unfamiliar with as a copper, and certainly as an agent. However he found it quickly and peered into the long ward which was alive with chatter of new dads and crying babies. He awkwardly made his way down the line until he saw June. She was with her parents who were cradling the little girl. Doyle felt out of place as three pairs of hostile eyes were turned in his direction. He wanted nothing more than to dump his gifts and get out of there.
"Can you give us a moment?" June said to her parents, who were already beginning to stand and gather their belongings, handing back the sleeping infant to its mother.
"We'll be back soon, love," said Mrs Daniels, avoiding Doyle's eye, and kissing her daughter's cheek.
After that hurried departure Doyle stood awkwardly gazing at the bedspread. The silence stretched.
"How are you and your little girl? I stopped by and saw Mary and Danny and the dog." Doyle couldn't find anything else to say, and June wasn't helping him.
After an eternity, Doyle was aware from the corner of his eye that June was offering him the baby to hold. Doyle forced himself to look into June's eyes. He took the tot from her and cradled it very gently in his arms. June nodded to the chair and he perched, very uncomfortably, on the edge.
"The hospital and my parents, and Cookie's, and Uncle Tom Cobbly are helping no end with Danny and Catherine. Cookie wanted her to be called Catherine."
Doyle stroked the sleeping baby's cheek. He had never seen a more beautiful child. He wished – he wished…
"So it's given me a lot of time think. And I reckon I'm done with hating you, Ray. But I'll never be done in aching for Cookie. I didn't want to tell you, but I think I should. When you suggested to him that George Cowley was turning his eye towards him, I warned him off, but he said to it give it a trial run and Major Cowley said he could go back to the Fraud Squad if he felt that CI5 wasn't for him. So we agreed that compromise. And you know, Ray, he was never fitter than when he was in CI5, nor ever happier. I wanted him to hate being an agent, but he seemed to find his calling and he loved it. I know you pointed him in CI5's direction, Ray, but it was Cookie's decision in the end. Not mine, not yours, but his. The money was better, of course, but that wasn't it. He loved doing what he did. He said it stretched him."
Unconsciously Doyle slipped his hand into June's. They looked for a long time into each other's misty eyes. Then Doyle remembered the burden in his pocket. He handed Catherine gently back to its mother. The baby mewled at being passed around. His hand grasped the slight object and he held a fist out to June. Puzzled, she held out her palm and the gold chain fluttered between them.
"I, I took it from Cookie. I've had the clasp replaced."
He stood up as June leaned forward and he fastened her husband's chain around her neck. She leaned back on the pillows and fondled the pendant, lost in her memories.
Doyle softly broke into her thoughts. "You can't know how sorry I am, June. I didn't want this –"
June interrupted him, squeezing his hand. "Of course you didn't, you daft sod. You and he were great mates. I know that if there was anything you could have done you would have. From what Major Cowley told me, you weren't even there!"
Doyle looked surprised, then realised that of course the Cow would have visited June; he wouldn't have left it all to Doyle.
"Tell me what I can do. Anything. Name it."
"I know the parents aren't going to understand, but I'd like you to be Catherine's godfather."
Doyle looked horrified. It was a huge responsibility. He was going to tell her that he wasn't up to it; that she needed someone more mature and responsible. But he had just told her that he would do anything for her. "If you're sure, June. If that's what you want." He felt that she was testing him. "Who else?"
"Cookie's mum. Danny isn't old enough to be a godparent, but of course he'll be there."
"When's the christening?"
"I haven't sorted that out yet, but I'll let you know."
The silence that stretched before them seemed less tense, less hostile. They would work through this. June could forgive him more than he could forgive himself, and she would certainly never get over husband's death, but with the support network that she had around her, and her children nestled close to her, life would be bearable.
