Chapter 14

Jase leaned across the console between them and yanked the steering wheel sharply to the right.

"Hey! Who's driving?" Stephanie yelled, reasserting control of the wheel once they passed the oncoming SUV.

"I am, Mario, as soon as you pull over. You might have a death wish right now, but I sure the hell don't."

Stephanie's lips thinned as she shot a glare at Jase.

"Eyes on the road, Princess. And could you try to make it at least appear that you're driving on the right side?"

"There is no right or left. It's all middle!" she spat. "How is it even legal to construct roads this narrow? And what's with all the blind turns? Nothing says 'Welcome to Gatlinburg, Tennessee' like tumbling down a mountain to your spectacular death."

"The trees would probably stop you after thirty feet or so. And we're not as close to Gatlinburg as you think. Turn left up there," Jase said, indicating a gravel road around the next curve.

They had driven nearly two days straight, only pulling over for food and bathroom breaks. Jase hadn't wanted to deal with the hassles of motels and IDs, though they'd brought extra IDs, corresponding credit cards and the wad of cash from the safe with them. They took turns sleeping while the other drove, although Jase never seemed to actually sleep. He slept like a cat, eyes blinking open at the slightest unexpected movement or sound.

After Jase barked out a few more colorful profanities in between directional commands, Stephanie found herself at the bottom of a steeply pitched gravel drive.

"You need to back up and get a running start to make it up the driveway."

Stephanie eyed the driveway, glanced at the cabin at the top of the hill, then back at the driveway. "I don't think that's necessary. How hard can it be?"

Flooring the accelerator, the car only made it about ten feet before the tires started spinning, sending rocks shooting towards the trees and the undercarriage of the car. Stephanie started pumping the gas pedal. The car went a few more feet, pivoted to the right and then the awful smell of burning tires began permeating the interior of the car.

"Jesus Christ, Stephanie. Stop!" Jase shook his head. "Do you know nothing about stealth?"

Stephanie eased off the gas, let the car slide down the hill a bit before depressing the brake. Putting the car in park, she set the emergency brake and opened her door.

"Where the hell are you going?"

She leaned back into the car and grabbed her purse. "If you know anything about me, you should know about my car karma. I'm doing us both a favor." Leaving the driver's side door hanging open, she picked her way up the drive, climbed the porch steps and sat in a rocker.

Stephanie collapsed on the sofa and watched as Jase made several trips to bring their baggage in. He had told her to pack only a week's worth of clothes and he did the same. From the bunker, he brought a few supplies, namely the medical kit, her toiletries, and their lifeline, the laptop. She'd stuffed several of Ranger's unlaundered shirts into large zip lock bags and then shoved them in the bottom of her duffle. She wasn't entirely sure if it was healthy or unhealthy to want to preserve his scent, but she didn't particularly care. She would take any little piece of him that she could.

When they'd passed through the last large town, they had stopped at a 24-hour Target for groceries and a two disposable cell phones. Jase was unsure whether this particular safe house was equipped with a satellite phone or if Ranger provided a new phone whenever he or someone under his protection used the cabin. Jase was pleased to see that the house did have a wireless modem.

After he put the groceries away, he pulled the laptop out of its protective case and set it on the desk in the den. Flipping the screen open, Jase booted up the computer. Stephanie had been sitting on the sofa watching as he put things away and set up his work station. When she realized he was about to check in on the message board, she stood up, pillow dropping to the floor. She knew her period of denial of Ranger's status was limited. To distract herself, she decided now was a good time to investigate the cabin.

The structure was a true split-log style cabin. The floors were a rustic pine and the walls were rough-hewn. An enormous fieldstone fireplace dominated the largest wall and the stonework went all the way to the open-beamed ceiling. There was a large picture window in the den, but the blinds were drawn. She fingered two slats of the blinds apart. The glass looked unusual and she wondered briefly if it was bulletproof. Knowing Ranger, it probably was.

The kitchen was open to the den and just held the basics: refrigerator, stove, sink, microwave. There was no dishwasher or garbage disposal. A scarred oak table and four chairs dominated the center of the kitchen area. One wall had a door she thought was a pantry, but upon opening it, found a stackable washer and dryer instead.

Closing the door, she walked down a short hall. There was a door to the right and one to the left; the linen closet was straight ahead. When she opened the door on the left, she found a bare mattress and box spring on the floor. A small lamp sat on a crate arranged next to the bed. There was a thrift store quality dresser on the far wall. Two transom style windows near the ceiling on two walls provided the only natural light to the room.

Jase startled her when he came in behind her. "I think there's an escape hatch in the floor." He bent and lifted the tattered braided rug at the foot of the bed. He ran his fingers around the edges of the hatch and found a subtle lip where he could lodge his fingers. He flipped something in the lip and she heard a sound like a magnetic lock release. Lifting the hatch, they both looked down and saw the raw earth a few feet beneath the house. "That's actually a camouflaged board covering a hole. It's a tunnel that leads out about 1000 feet into the woods. It's dirty and full of bugs, but it'll get you out of here if we're under attack. It's risky to go out through the tunnel if someone is watching the perimeter of the house, but it beats being a sitting duck. In theory, the access is secure from the outside."

Stephanie sat back on her heels and watched as Jase lowered the hatch again then covered it with the rug. Gnawing at her lip, she said, "How long do we have to stay here?"

He stood and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not long, I hope. There's a modem but I can't get more than one bar of connectivity right now so I can't get online to the message board. No guarantees they're in a location or situation they can connect either. I left a message with Cal at Rangeman but he won't say anything other than 'Tank is unavailable for an undisclosed amount of time.' I didn't get the vibe that Cal or anyone else at Rangeman knew anything about Ranger's, uh, possible status. And honestly, with the exception of Tank, no one at Rangeman knows who the fuck I am. Ranger keeps me very separate from the rest of his life."

"I thought you were close friends."

"Princess, in our business, when you have close friends with a knack for invisibility and morally questionable skills, you keep them hidden. They're your trump card."

Stephanie looked down at her lap. "Did he ever talk about me?"

Jase sat on the edge of the bed and studied her for a moment. At length he said, "He's a very private man. I read the papers. I heard things. I put two and two together. Whenever we would talk, I'd rag him about having a hard-on for Calamity Jane. He would always shut me down. Get defensive. I read between the lines.

"But all I had to do was see how he looked at you, see how he's moved heaven and earth to protect you to know with certainty that he was in love with you."

Stephanie's lower lip curled out of its own accord and a tear rolled down her cheek. Jase made no move to comfort her; just gave her space to either let it out or pull herself together. A minute passed, Stephanie wiped her eyes and sniffed. "You really don't have a clue how to comfort a person, do you?"

Jase's clear blue eyes stared back at her dispassionately. "I can't allow emotional attachment."

She laughed humorlessly and said, "I didn't ask you to kiss my tears away and fall in love with me. Most men would at least attempt to hold a crying woman, even if it was just to shut her up. You held me once, at the bunker. Would it kill you to hold me again?"

Jase stood from the bed and looked down at her with hard eyes. "Stephanie, you have baggage and you have teeth and I'm pretty sure you come with invisible strings and slipknots. I'll take care you, I'll protect you, but I can't do my job if I get attached to you. It's just the way it has to be."

After dinner that night, Stephanie sat on the couch and stared blankly at the TV. Jase watched with her for a while but would get up intermittently to attempt to connect to the Internet. Every time she watched him walk to the desk, a lump of fear would settle in her stomach and she felt as if she couldn't breathe. After about an hour, she excused herself and took a shower. In the bedroom, she slipped on panties and one of Ranger's unlaundered shirts, then made up the bed and attempted to fall asleep.

For a while, all she could do was fixate on the knowledge that there was a trapdoor at the foot of her bed. Jase said it couldn't be breached from the outside, but what did he know? She climbed out of the bed and dragged the mattress over the trapdoor. She convinced herself that if she needed to get out that way, moving the mattress would only be adding seconds onto her escape.

An hour passed and she couldn't stop thinking of Ranger. Her Carlos. In the past few days she continually went back and forth between refusing to believe he was gone and wondering if she had lost him forever.

The Ranger she knew would have planned his attack to the nth degree, with no room for error. He would be cautious and swift. And this wasn't just any mission, something he was doing for the government, or to return a favor or line his pockets. This was a mission he was executing for her. For them. For his loved ones. He wouldn't dare die now that they finally had their chance. Would he? No, he wouldn't die now; he couldn't. Could he?

And that was when deep sadness rolled over her, crashing down on her like a wave and wrenching her further and further from the distant shores of hope. They finally had their chance. They could have had their chance much sooner. She went over and over things he'd done for her and said to her that she purposely misinterpreted or refused to hear just because it was easier. It was easier to believe that he only wanted her in his bed, had nothing more to offer her, felt nothing more than sexual attraction and some misguided affection. It was easier because it would mean she wouldn't have to think, to ask questions, to risk herself, to risk everything, to choose.

What would her life be like now? Would she return to Trenton, a shell of herself as an invisible Jase watched over her with resentful eyes? Or would Jase drag her around like a gypsy from safe house to safe house? He'd regard her as some ball and chain strapped to his ankle, making him hate her even more, making him regret that stupid promise he made to Carlos.

Perhaps she'd return and no one would look for her if he were dead. They would have made their point, wouldn't they? He would have paid the ultimate price. But then again, if he were dead and whoever wasn't brought to some kind of justice, she'd live this side of witness protection for the rest of her life.

She thought about Julie, and Ranger's parents and siblings. How could she ever look them in the eye knowing that she was the reason Ranger was gone? Here she was, practically a widow to a man she would never marry, and she couldn't expect comfort from the arms of the people who loved him most.

She thought back to their first meeting at the downtown café. She used reflect on specific moments in her life when she felt fate had stepped in and something extraordinary happened. That day was one of those predestined meetings. How could he have ever known that by agreeing to meet her, he was going to meet his own angel of death?

Wiping her face, she stood from the bed, tugged down Ranger's shirt and went out to the den. Jase had opened the sofa bed and it was already made up with sheets, a blanket and two pillows. He was sitting at the bottom edge in only his jeans, staring into the fire. A floorboard creaked under her feet.

Without turning, Jase said, "Couldn't sleep?"

Stephanie flopped on the sofa bed and curled around a pillow. "His parents will hate me. I stole Julie's father from her. They won't want me at the funeral. What will Ranger think if I'm not at his funeral?"

Jase hung his head and sighed. "Nobody is going to hate you. Would you hate Julie if he died protecting her? Would you hate his parents if he died protecting them? What about Tank, or Lester, or any of his men; what if he died protecting them?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"They're his family. Even the guys."

"And you're not?"

"I was just his lover. And just for a short time."

Shaking his head, Jase said, "That man lived and breathed for you. I don't know how you can't see that. His family will know that just by virtue of how and why he died. They could never resent you for that, just as you wouldn't resent them if he had died for them."

Stephanie didn't say anything after that. Jase said, "I thought you didn't believe he was dead."

"I thought I would feel it if he died."

Jase stood, stirred the fire one more time, and closed the screen. Then he flopped down beside Stephanie on the bed.

They both lay in silence for a long stretch. Softly, Jase said, "If he's gone, at least you know it wasn't his choice to leave you. There are lots of empty people in this world who have lost their loved ones to things other than death. Sometimes people amputate someone from their lives, either knowingly or unknowingly. The victim has to walk around and go on living knowing that they were left because someone made a choice against them. That's not the case with you and Carlos. Carlos chose you."

Stephanie burbled out, "That's supposed to make me feel better? He chose me? He got killed because of his choice; he made the wrong choice!"

Jase heaved a sigh and rolled to his side, dragging Stephanie into the curve of his body. He waited patiently for her private storm to pass, stroking her hair and her back. When she had calmed enough to hear him, he said, "Carlos was a proud man who would only accept an honorable death. If he couldn't die of old age, in bed beside you, he would have accepted only two other options. Death for his country, or death protecting someone he loves. It's the ultimate unselfish act. If he's gone, he gave his life freely for you. No price."

She sucked in a breath. "Did he…? He's said that to me before—no price. Is that some Army motto or mercenary credo?"

He chuckled into her hair. "Princess, the mercenary credo is 'Exorbitant price, no names exchanged, no credit cards accepted.' No price is the rate of currency and definition of unqualified, unconditional love."

Stephanie woke when a log on the fire cracked loudly and shifted. When she opened her eyes, she could make out the smooth skin of Jase's back; she must have spooned around him in her sleep. Scooting a few inches away, she flipped over her pillow and settled in again, tugging the blanket more securely over her shoulder. It was then that she noticed the sharp pins and needles sensation at the base of her neck.

Flopping to her back, her heart went into her throat when she saw the silhouette of an imposing figure standing between the foot of the sofa bed and the fireplace.

Stephanie kicked out at Jase's leg and scuttled back as far on the mattress as she could before hauling a leg over the back of the couch and dropping behind it. As soon as she kicked Jase's leg, he jerked to alertness, pulling a gun from under his pillow, releasing the safety and leveling it on the intruder.

Tucked down behind the couch, Stephanie was acutely aware of the lack of movement and the absence of words exchanged between the men. Then again, she could hardly hear her own breathing over the roar of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. The next sound she heard confused her: the sound of Jase reengaging the safety.

"It's okay, Princess. It's a good guy."

Stephanie hesitantly stood from behind the couch, looking at Jase first. He angled out of the bed, stretching his body in a long line, arms above his head. Then he walked over to the chair, presenting his back to the intruder, picked up his shirt and tugged it over his head.

Stephanie slowly turned her head toward the unknown man. Her eyes more accustomed now to the low level of light, she could see the intruder more clearly. It was Ranger.

Stephanie staggered a moment before clutching the back of the couch. "Oh, God."

Backlit by the low firelight, Ranger's facial expression was difficult to discern. She stumbled around the couch and walked up to him, unaware of her feet beneath her. Hesitantly she put her hands on his hard chest to feel the contours of his muscles, the warmth of his skin beneath his shirt. Moving one of her hands to the center of his chest, she closed her eyes and reveled in the steady thud of his heart against her hand. Resting her forehead between her hands, she breathed him in. He stood stiffly for a moment, then pulled her into his chest possessively.

Stephanie whispered, "You're here. You're-"

Ranger interrupted in a voice filled with tension. "Why are you here?" She wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to Jase. "What happened to the phone?" he asked harshly. "I'm on my way back to you and I see your tracker moving away. I call the satellite phone and it rings endlessly. Do you have any idea what was running through my mind?" His voice until then had been hard and flat. The next thing he said came out as a shout. "I thought someone breached the Goddamned bunker!"

She startled at his shout and dropped her hands. She looked up at Ranger and was frightened by the blank face that barely concealed his frustration and fury.

"Back off, Carlos." Apparently, Jase had heard enough.

Ranger glared at him. Jase stepped menacingly toward Ranger, shoving Stephanie behind him in the process. "She thought you were fucking dead. Everybody thought you were dead. Your core team is in Mexico, as we speak, looking for your body."

Ranger's face creased into an expression of condescending incredulousness. "Explain."

Jase grabbed for Ranger's wrist and twisted so that the inside was visible, then pressed his fingers against the fleshy part of his upper arm. "Your bio data reported you dead two days ago."

Ranger jerked his arm back and leveled a lethal look at Jase. "That still doesn't explain what you two are doing here, curled up on a sofa bed together."

Jase butted his chest into Ranger's and snarled, "You need to come off your GI Joe testosterone high and listen to me. Right now, your woman is praising Jesus you're alive. She's been going back and forth between mourning you and insisting you're not dead. She's been through an emotional fucking nightmare. And you just pop in here and start throwing out reprimands and accusations. Don't think I didn't catch that nasty little insinuation you just tossed in. She loves you. I'm your fucking friend. You're lucky I'm feeling charitable right now or I'd smash your Goddamn skull into the fireplace just for being an idiot." The fire seemed to go out of Ranger's eyes almost instantly. Jase lowered his voice and said, "I received intel that our location had been compromised. We needed to move. Was I wrong?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, Ranger sat heavily on the hearth. Stephanie stepped back until she bumped into the kitchen table. Jase stayed right where he was, staring at Ranger, waiting for an explanation.

Ranger stared down at his hands where they hung between his splayed thighs. "Santiago is in the States. Very likely he's close. It looks like he played the game well, leaked his location for the purpose of drawing me out and away from Stephanie. I made a rookie mistake moving so quickly."

Listening quietly, Stephanie wrapped her arms around her body. She said, "Tank didn't tell you they were in Mexico looking for your … body?"

Ranger closed his eyes a moment as if mentally kicking his own ass. "No. The last time I talked to Tank was three days ago which would have been before my, for lack of a better word, death. I had to ditch the phone I was using once I realized the mission had been compromised."

Jase shook his head and sat on the bed to lace up his boots. "We did the same. You need a better communication relay system. The one you've got going now sucks ass."

Ranger shot Jase a glare. "You don't think I've realized that?"

Stephanie walked over to Ranger and kneeled between his thighs. His eyes showed everything he felt for her, but his posture looked tired, defeated.

He raised his hand and stroked her cheek with his knuckles. In a harsh whisper, he said, "I love you, Stephanie. And I'd like nothing more than to sneak you out of here myself. But I have to do my job."

Grasping his face with both hands, she said, "You listen to me. I'm not helpless and I'm not completely untrained. And nobody, not one of us, should function without a partner. Jase will have your back. I have your back. I'm not leaving you."

Ranger looked ready to argue but before he could get the first word out, there was a loud crack against the window not four feet away from them and Stephanie found herself on her back, pinned underneath Ranger's body.