It is as awful as she expects it to be.

It is worse.

The Rizzolis leave almost immediately, and neither Frank nor Angela say anything more to her. She sees them free Jane from Casey's clutches, and watches as the teenager's face fades from relief to apprehension to fear at their expressions.

Jane's name does not appear on the varsity roster for softball that's posted in the student center.

Jane is not in school the first week after Parent's night, nor the Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of the next. Frankie goes class to class for her, delivering her homework.

Lily comes home and tells her that Tommy Rizzoli was booked again, this time for assault and battery as well as petty theft. She is worried that Jane's parents might make a complaint to the school. "You can't talk to her, honey," she says repeatedly. "Don't put all you've worked for in jeopardy."

Maura shakes her head. "I feel horrible."

"It was a mistake."

"I outed a student, Lily! I didn't mis-grade a test."

And Lily kisses her and hugs her, and Maura feels comforted, and then angry that she is able to be comforted and Jane is not.

"I'm not cut out for this," she says into her wife's shoulder.

Lily rubs her back. "It's going to be ok."

.

When Maura finally sees Jane, she is alone by her locker. It's Thursday afternoon, and it's the time of day Jane usually came to her classroom to talk. As she draws closer, Maura realizes with a thunderbolt of horror that Jane is sporting a split lip and a good sized bruise under her eye.

Maura walks up to her before she has even formulated a sentence. But Jane glances at her, and then away.

"Leave me alone," she says, and her voice is a growl that Maura has never heard before.

Maura is no longer in control of the words that come out of her mouth. She thinks of the way Frank Rizzoli had yanked Jane towards the parking lot. "Did your father do that to your face?"

Jane glares at her. "Mind your business," she snarls.

Maura crosses her arms across her chest. "Please watch your tone, Miss Rizzoli. I know you're upset, but-"

Jane spins to face her fully, face etched with fury. "I have to watch my tone around you, but you can say whatever you damn well please to my parents?" she hisses. "Is that it?"

"No!" Maura says quickly. "No. What I did was…inexcusable. You can't imagine how sorry I am."

Though Jane looks momentarily surprised by her confession, her face quickly slips back into disdain. "Sorry doesn't fix this, Dr. Isles."

"I know," Maura says, resisting the urge to apologize again.

Jane looks at her for a moment longer before turning away. She sighs and shakes her head. "It doesn't matter," she says quietly.

Maura studies her profile. "What doesn't matter?" she asks carefully.

"Any of it."

Maura catches her breath. "You matter," she says, voice just above a whisper. When Jane's hand freezes inside of her locker, Maura continues, speaking quickly. "You don't have to give up on the things you want. College? A job that's not under your father's control? A relationship where you get to decide what you-"

"I'm not going to college," Jane says firmly. She is still looking ahead of her, into her locker, and Maura understands with a little gasp.

"Oh," she says sadly. "Jane. Just because you didn't get into the places you applied to does not mean that college is out of the question for you. There are other-"

But Jane steps back from her locker, and slams it shut with such force that the entire row shakes. She pulls her backpack down her arm, and practically rips it open, reaching deep inside. She pulls out six crumpled pieces of paper and shoves them at her teacher.

Maura sees the letterheads of all of the colleges Jane had so painstakingly filled out applications for. Boston College, Boston University, Connecticut College, UMASS, Trinity and Wheaton.

Every single one of them begins:

Dear Ms. Rizzoli,

Congratulations. We would like to formally extend an invitation to you to join the incoming class of 2007…

"Oh my God," Maura breathes, flipping through them for a second time, excitement gathering in the corners of her ribcage. "Oh my God! Jane! This is wonderful! Why didn't you report these so that we could put your announcements up on the senior wall? This is so amazing! You have so many options now!"

She looks up, to see if Jane is as excited as she is, and finds that the girl is near tears. Maura cannot tell if it's from sadness or from anger. "I'm not going to college," she says. "They didn't give me close to enough money for even my first semester. But it's nice to know that you – what was it? – 'believe so strongly I can do anything I put my mind to.'" She moves to walk around her and Maura grabs her arm without thinking, only wanting to hold her back.

Jane cries out, her hand coming to Maura's as if to pull her off. In the split second that they look at each other, Maura sees that Jane is frightened. Of her.

She drops her hand quickly. "I-I'm so sorry."

Jane looks down at her shoes. "I'm not stupid," she whispers.

Maura shakes her head. "You're not," she says. "I just want-"

"What about what I want?" Jane interrupts. "What about the things I want, Dr. Isles? How come no one ever asks me about that?"

Maura doesn't have anything to say to this. She is overcome with guilt, and sadness, and another feeling that she in unable to name. She reaches out and puts two fingers under Jane's chin, tilting her head so that they can look each other in the eye.

"What do you want, Miss Rizzoli?" she asks quietly.

Jane looks her directly in the eyes. Soon, Maura thinks, she will be too tall, and she will have to look down at her. "Tell me what it is that you want."

Jane tightens her jaw. "Right now…I…I want my family to love me. I just want them to love me."

Maura nods. This, beyond anything else that any other student has ever said to her, is a feeling that she understands perfectly.

She takes a step back, clasping her hands together in the way she does when she is about to welcome a group of students into her classroom.

"Why don't you head to class," she says gently.

And Jane blinks at her, and then steps slowly around her, nodding in a way that seems to be a little disappointed. Maura turns to watch her go.

"You deserve to get the things you want, Jane." Maura calls after her. And though Jane stops for a brief second, she doesn't turn around.

She doesn't see a lot of Jane Rizzoli after that.

The teen stops coming by her classroom to talk, and from what Maura can tell, she doesn't spend more time on campus than is required of her, always leaving to go pick up extra shifts at her part time job.

Jane comes out in the top 5% of her senior class, which means she is honored at a dinner, and gets to wear a special tassel at graduation.

At the honorary student dinner, Maura sees Angela and Frankie Jr., but there is no sign of Jane's other brother or her father. And although Jane and Frankie are all smiles for their mother, when she excuses herself to use the lady's room, both siblings' faces fall into expressions of somber contemplation.

Maura sees that they trade a couple sentences back and forth, sees Jane reach out and pat Frankie on the shoulder.

And then she turns away.

It is two days before the graduation ceremony that Maura tells Lily she wants to change jobs.

Maura's final grading is complete, and Lily has just come off the end of a cold case that closed three, seventeen year old murders, and so they have been lounging around the house all weekend, recovering and celebrating.

"Oh?" Lily puts aside her latest biography. "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know," Maura says honestly. "But…I don't think that I'm suited to work so closely with teenagers. At least not in this fashion."

One corner of Lily's mouth tugs upwards. "You know, I agree with you. But I suspect it's not for the same reasons." She swivels so that her feet are in Maura's lap, sighing when Maura begins to rub.

"Do you know why I love you?" Lily asks, her eyes closed.

"I'm thinking more and more that it's because I rub your feet," Maura teases.

Lily smiles. "Well, reason number two," she concedes.

"Tell me."

"It's because of how…unselfishly you throw yourself into everything you do. And how, although you were raised inside of nothing but prejudice and privilege, you don't expect anything. From anyone."

Maura looks over at Lily, whose eyes are still closed.

"Elaborate," she whispers. "Please."

"I know you think you didn't do enough to help Jane Rizzoli. But speaking as someone who everyone used to see as some poor, useless orphan, you did more for her than you know."

Maura sighs. "First, you were not ever a useless anything. And it was not enough," she says. "And I was selfish, in the end."

"It won't have the kind of immediate effect that you want to see," Lily says. "And loving someone is always a little selfish."

Maura squeezes Lily's foot, but does not confess to what they both know. It may not have been romantic, but it would be illogical to profess that she felt nothing. That she was just doing what she normally would for any student.

"I want to do…immediate good in someone's life," Maura says quietly, mostly to herself.

Lily sits up. "And you do," she says seriously. "In mine. I tell you that enough, Mo, don't I?"

"Of course you do!" Maura says, shocked. "Of course you do, Lil, and you do in mine. Every single second. But the work you do…the cases you solve. It restores peace to people who thought they'd never see it. It does immediate good every day."

Lily grins at her. "And you want that."

Maura nods. "I want that."

Lily presses forward a little more, and kisses her before flopping back down.

"Give me your feet too," she says, closing her eyes again. "I'll reciprocate."

And Maura turns to the side too, and lifts her feet gently to Lily's stomach. "I love you, Detective Rush. You're the best, most immediate good in my life."

Lily kisses her big toe. "Right back atcha," she murmurs.

….

The graduation is outside on the lawn in front of the school. The Valedictorian's speech is long, and even Maura finds it exceptionally boring.

She stays long enough to wish those she taught in their last semester good luck, and then heads towards her car, hoping nobody calls her back.

Somebody does.

Maura turns to see Jane Rizzoli running down the little pathway in her direction, robe streaming behind her, heels in her hand.

"Dr. Isles," she says when she catches up, breathing hard. "You're skipping out on my graduation early?"
Maura stares at Jane, confused. "I...didn't see any reason to stay."

Jane puts her hand over her heart. "Offense taken," she says, and there is just enough of a smirk on her face for Maura to know that she is joking.

"I wanted to say good-bye," Maura says. "But I didn't want to get you in trouble with your family. I don't know that I'm their favorite person right now?"

Jane snorts. "That's the truth," she says. "But I wanted to say good-bye too." she looks away for a moment. "I'm sorry, about yelling at you."

"And I'm sorry for trying to fix the hurts of my childhood through you."

Jane looks at her, eyebrows raised, and Maura smiles. "What?" she asks. "You're an adult now, Miss Rizzoli. I'm going to treat you like one."

Jane grins at her. "Did you see that I finished-"

"9th in the class. Top five percent. It's fantastic," Maura beams, and Jane seems truly grateful for the praise.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, Dr. Isles," her smile fades a little bit. "I-I'm sorry that I didn't do everything that you wanted of-"

"Hush," Maura says, shaking her head. And she steps forward and hugs Jane, because she has her diploma now, and noone is around, and because fuck it, yes, she cares about this student more than the others. "You deserve everything you want in life. Don't let anyone else dictate that for you."

"Jane?!" Angela's voice floats down the path, though the woman herself is still out of sight.

Jane pulls away, eyes a little shiny.

Maura pretends not to notice.

"I'll see you around, maybe, Dr. Isles," she says.

Maura lifts her hand, not trusting her voice, and with one last grin, Jane turns and jogs away, back up the path towards the crowd.