Maura is tired. And it has not been a good day.
She drops her second to last file into the pile for follow up, and leans against the nurse's station, regrouping.
"Are you okay, Dr. Isles?" the tech sitting at the desk is one of her favorites, Susie Chang.
"I'm fine, Susie, thank you." And then, because she has to share the burden with someone, "we're going to lose Briana."
Susie's face falls. "Oh no! Really?"
Maura nods, rubbing her temple. "She's not responding to the latest round. I've just had a conversation with her father. He took it rather hard."
Susie bites her lip. "Has he managed to get in touch with his wife yet?"
"No," Maura says sadly. "All the base will tell him is that she's on assignment and not expected back for another three weeks. Dr. Wilkinson is going to try to make a call. Briana might not have three weeks to wait, let alone however long it takes for Noreen to get back to Boston."
"I hate these," Susie says, shaking her head sadly.
"I do too," Maura agrees. She lifts the next folder out of her appointments bin, her last of the day. She flips it open, trying to reacquaint herself with the preliminary meeting she's about to have.
Elena Delgado, four years old. Currently in remission. Mother reports fever, possible loss of consciousness.
Yes. Maura remembers this case file. A woman she'd come through her residency with had forwarded it to her from Philadelphia. The family had relocated four or so months ago.
She smiles at Suzie as she heads toward her office. "Here's hoping this isn't a relapse," she says, waving the folder over her shoulder.
Suzie crosses her fingers.
It is days like this one, ones that last from five in the morning until well after four in the afternoon, that are filled with more bad news than good, that make Maura almost miss teaching. It is days like this one, that make Maura reach for her stethoscope, and the engraving that runs around the chest piece, a gift from her wife on the day of her completion of her residency.
Immediate challenge. Immediate change. Immediate good.
She is a doctor two times over now, the top pediatric oncologist in her field, and on most days, the good far outweighs the bad.
Most days.
...
Louisa Delgado arrives at her office four minutes early, with her daughter in tow, looking out of breath, dressed like a mother with a child who might - for the second time - be dying.
She is medium height, with smooth beige skin, and as she sits down in front of Maura's desk, she pulls her dark brown braid over her shoulder for her daughter to play with.
"Thank you so much for seeing us, Dr. Isles. I know that you don't take on very many new patients, and I can't tell you how much it means to us that you decided to meet us."
Maura looks up from the case summary at the woman and her daughter.
"I'm hopeful that our meetings will be nothing but progress and positive news," Maura says, smiling at the toddler on her mother's lap. "This is Elena?"
"Yes," the woman's voice is raspy, a little bit shaky, but she is articulate, and very knowledgable about her daughter's illness. "She was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia when she was 20 months old. Every single doctor we took her to besides Dr. Martin told us we'd lose her."
"Dr. Martin was actually the one who called me to tell me you had moved and were looking for care in Boston. Mrs. Delgado-"
"Doctor, actually," the woman says, ducking her head a little. "And God, please call me Lou."
Maura nods, "Lou," she says, making a note. "What makes you think Elena has relapsed?"
"My wife," Lou glances down at her watch, and sucks her teeth. "She's late. She said she'd meet us. She said Elena passed out last week. She's been running a fever, she doesn't want to play. At day care, the woman says she won't eat her snack and she doesn't want to get up from nap. She says her stomach hurts...I just…" Lou shakes her head, and much to Maura's surprise, she gets tears in her eyes. "God, this is hard."
Elena looks up into her mother's face, concerned. "Mami?"
"I'm okay, sweetheart." She puts a finger to the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, Dr. Isles. I'm just really mad at Jane for being late. We made this pact when we got married, you know? She wouldn't police the family and I wouldn't doctor them. We would just...be a family. And when Elena got sick, she did all the appointments, and the lumbar punctures, and the chemo...and I just...I got to just be her mother, you know?"
Maura nods, sliding the little box of tissues on her desk towards Louisa. She is used to people crying in her office. She is used to frightened spouses who have had to take over for absent partners.
She is used to the shock of nostalgia and the twinge of hope that the name 'Jane' elicits, no matter how much time has passed, or how sepia the memories have become.
She is about to answer, to say something bland and reassuring, when there is the sound of boots in the hall, someone walking quickly, purposefully towards Maura's office.
As one, Louisa and Elena turn to the closed door, both looking expectant, Elena looking excited.
"Mama!" Elena says, a fraction of a second before the door opens.
"I'm so sorry, babe," Jane Rizzoli says, bursting into the room. "I got held up in traffic, and then the babysitter said she couldn't stay. But I bribed her horribly and I'm here now."
She falls to her knees by Louisa's chair, accepting Elena as she throws her arms around her neck.
"Mama, you are late. Mami esta llorando."
"I see that," Jane says quietly. "Lou, I'm so sorry, honey."
She slips her hand to the back of Lou's neck, pulling her head sideways a little so that she can rest their foreheads together. She has not even looked in Maura's direction yet, which is a blessing, because Maura cannot stop staring.
This is Jane Rizzoli, her Jane Rizzoli (and no, Maura cannot stop that particular thought either), here in her office.
Comforting her wife...and daughter.
"I'm fine," Lou says, clearing her throat. "I'm fine. I'm just...glad you're here." She looks up at Maura, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Doctor."
And finally, Jane shifts her attention, and meets Maura's eyes for the first time in 15 years.
If Maura's response had been to freeze, then Jane's response is to almost explode. She stands up straight very quickly, Elena still in her arms, her eyes as big as saucers.
"Holy shit," she swears, "Dr. Isles?"
"Mama!" Elena says, looking so scandalized that it's comical. "No swears!"
Jane doesn't hear her. She's staring at Maura like she cannot believe what she's seeing.
"You know Dr. Isles?" Lou asks, looking between them.
"Uh…" Jane looks down at her. "She's...the doctor."
"The doctor," Lou repeats, and then her own eyes get wide. "Wait, The doctor?"
"Yeah."
"Your doctor?"
Maura jerks her head to look at Louisa when she says this. "Her doctor?" she echoes, and both women turn back to look at her.
"No," Elena says from Jane's arms, looking truly perplexed at her parent's apparent idiocy. "My doctor."
This statement seems to shake Jane out of the haze of shock she's in. She smiles, kissing Elena on the side of her head, sinking slowly into the seat next to Louisa's. "You're right, chiquitita. She's your doctor at the moment. So let's deal with that first."
Lou, it seems, cannot be so easily swayed. "I thought you said that that doctor was a teacher at your fancy high school."
"She was," Jane says. "I am as much in the dark about how she is now our Pediatric Oncologist as you are, hon."
"I stopped teaching," Maura says, and though they are speaking at full volume, in her office, she feels as though she's interrupting a private conversation.
Jane raises her eyebrows at Lou, and for a moment, her grin transforms her face and Maura is back at Boston Prep.
"She stopped teaching," Jane repeats. It seems that amusement is her ultimate reaction to this situation. "So now she's our kid's oncologist. Naturally."
"Well," Maura says, her reasonable brain kicking in where her ability to fully process is failing, "there were some steps between those two."
And Jane Rizzoli laughs at this. "Good to know," she says. "Look, this is weird as he-" she catches herself just as the little head snaps up to look at her reproachfully.
Jane feigns innocence until Elena looks away and then mouths hell to the adults. "I'll admit it," she picks up, "I think everyone in this room can admit it. This is..insane."
Lou nods, and she throws Maura a look that is challenging, and angry, and also unreadable in its full meaning.
"But can we do the preliminary meeting, and deal with all the...cow poop later, please?" She looks at Maura. "Did you two get far before I got here? Did Lou tell you about Lena passing out?"
Maura glances at Louisa to see if she approves of the doctor answering, and when she does not get a confirmation or a rejection, she nods. "She told me. She also told me she's been running a fever."
Jane nods. She puts the inside of her wrist absently against Elena's forehead. "Yeah. This morning it was 101 even, but it seems to have gone down. Did you take it before you left the house, babe?"
"99.7," Louisa says quietly, and Jane reaches out for her hand. "It was 99.7."
"So it came down," Jane says, and Maura thinks this is more for Louisa's benefit than anyone else's. Jane brings Louisa's knuckles to her lips. "I'm here," she whispers. "Hey, look at me."
Louisa looks at her, and then away quickly, eyes tearing up again. Jane kisses her knuckles once more. "It's okay," she says softly. "We're gonna be okay."
Maura feels a sudden burst of joy, and it takes her a moment to realize why.
Jane is still so gentle. She is so very clearly in love with her wife.
"I looked over the case file this morning," Maura says, glancing down at the paper on her desk. "She's been in remission for almost two years. That's really promising."
Jane nods, and Maura sees her hand squeeze Lou's. "I am worried about the fainting spell, and if it's agreeable with you two, I'd like to get Elena a full work up as soon as possible. Then we'll go from there."
"Big needle?" Elena pipes up, looking nervous.
"She means a lumbar puncture," Jane says. "They are not her favorite."
Maura smiles at Elena. "They are not anyone's favorite, I'm sure," she says. "No lumbar puncture if I can help it, Elena, me entiendes?"
Elena nods, comforted. "Gracias," she mumbles, turning into her mother's shirt.
"I want you to call the office if her temperature goes above 100.5 and stays there for more than twelve hours. I'll have a tech call you within the next day to schedule a work up?"
Jane stands as Maura does, and Lou rises a half second later. She is throwing curious glances at Maura, like she wants to really study her, but is afraid of being rude.
Maura wonders for the first time since Jane entered her office, just what she has told her wife about their history.
"Thank you, Dr. Isles," Jane says, and Lou echoes her faintly, reaching out her hands for Elena.
"I'm going to go to the lobby," Lou says, though this clearly has a hidden message that only Jane can decipher.
"Lou," Jane begins, as though they are about to have an argument they have had a hundred times.
"We'll be in the lobby," Louisa says, a little more firmly. "Decide, please."
And with that, she leaves, Elena waving cheerfully over her shoulder.
Jane turns back to face Maura slowly. She shakes her head, like she'd thought that Maura would disappear when her wife did.
"Jesus Christ," she says, running a hand through her hair. "Dr. Isles."
Maura is relieved that when she opens her mouth, what comes out is laughter. She had been afraid it might be tears.
"Jane," she says. "You are so tall!"
Jane laughs again. "So I grew, and you…became a doctor!? I think you win that time lapse video."
"It's not a competition," Maura says at once. "And I have a, what, twelve year head start?" She looks at Jane, who is just staring back at her, still smiling.
"How are you, Dr. Isles? I mean, how have you been?"
"I've been very well, thank you for asking." Maura suddenly remembers the reason that Jane is in her office, and feels her smile fade. "I wish that we were seeing each other under different circumstances. Your daughter, Elena," Maura watches Jane's smile at the mention of the toddler, "she's beautiful."
And Jane sits down again, heavily. "She's perfect," she says. "But these last few weeks have been kind of a nightmare."
Maura nods. "I can't imagine. I read all the notes that were in the file Dr. Martin sent from Philadelphia. She is very lucky to have beaten it."
"Yeah," Jane sighs. "It was torture for Lou, you know? She's a doctor," Jane looks up quickly, "Like you are, I guess," she grins. "And knowing that she couldn't do anything, really, to help her own daughter was the worst."
"That's when you made the pact?" Maura asks, and Jane looks surprised. "Lou told you about the pact?"
"She mentioned it before you arrived. You handled all of Elena's doctor's visits previously?"
Jane nods. "Wheeze felt like she should be doing something, actively, all the time, you know?" Jane leans forward, animated, and it is like having her back inside a classroom. "Neither one of us is great at patience," she grins. "But not being able to doctor her kid, when it was the one thing she needed, really got to her."
Maura shakes her head. "I can't imagine," she says again, and Jane smiles weakly at her.
"So you read her file," she says, trying to stay cheerful, "You saw her. What do you think? Do you think it's back?"
Yes. "We won't know until we do a work up," Maura says, and then feeling as though this hasn't been enough. "But I promise that we'll do everything we can for her. I'll have the Nurse Practitioner call you to schedule right away."
Jane nods, leaning back in her chair. She sighs heavily, like what she's about to say is bad news. Maura feels her stomach twist unpleasantly.
"So, Dr. Isles, is there anyone else in Boston who is as brilliant a doctor as you undoubtedly are?"
Maura frowns. "You don't want me to be Elena's oncologist, should the need arise?"
Jane sighs again. "No. It's not that," she says. "It's…way more complicated than that."
Maura sits back down at her desk. "Elaborate," she says. "Please."
Jane doesn't. She side steps the request with the grace of a dancer. "Do you have kids?"
Maura nods. "One. Mags. Margaret. She's ten."
"And Lily?" Jane has remembered the name, though Maura can't remember ever saying it to her as a teenager.
"Still Lily," Maura answers. "We just moved this past year to Chestnut Hill. The commute is a little longer, but the schools are significantly better."
"And you're a doctor now. No more horrible teacher's salary for you." Jane puts her hands in the pockets of her jeans. Maura watches as she gets snagged by a thought that seems to be particularly disheartening. "Thank you for agreeing to see Elena. It means a ton to me."
"Of course," Maura says. "And if it becomes necessary to find her a different doctor, I will recommend some of the best."
Jane makes a vague, wonderfully familiar motion with her shoulders. "Thank you," she mumbles.
They stand there for a few minutes longer, and it is about to tip the scale from thrilling into awkward, when Jane's phone vibrates.
"I should get out of your way," she says, pulling it out of her pocket and checking it briefly. "I'm sure we'll see each other again?"
Maura walks her to the door, wondering if this is a fever dream brought on by fatigue. "Yes," she says. "I'll check in at the nurse's station before I leave, and make sure you're on the call list for tomorrow."
"That's special treatment," Jane says, one eyebrow raised, and Maura knows what she's getting at. As a teacher, Maura was particularly rigid in her stance on special treatment.
"It's for Elena," Maura says.
"I'll take it," Jane replies without hesitation. "Thank you. Again."
Maura watches Jane step into the hallway, reaching behind her to pull the door closed. "See you, Dr. Isles," she calls.
Just like she always used to.
…
…
"Dr. Delgado!" Maura says, standing up. "What a surprise. Please come-"
"Jane is with Elena finishing her work up. I just came to pick them up," Louisa says, shutting the door behind her. "I don't have a lot of time"
"Time for-" Maura begins
"Did you ever have a sexual relationship with my wife?" Louisa has come into her office and closed the door so quickly, that it takes a moment for Maura to catch up, but when she does, she sits down heavily in her chair, shocked.
"No!" She says, knowing she sounds more hurt than anything else. "No!" she tries again. "I never!"
Louisa continues to stand there, breathing a little heavily, looking like she isn't sure she believes the answer.
Maura does not do what she would like to, which is to yell. Instead, she folds her hands on her desk, and asks the other woman to sit down.
"Jane was a student of mine," she says as Louisa seats herself.
"That doesn't stop a lot of teachers," she shoots back.
"She was a child," Maura says, a little angrily. "It may not stop a lot of predators masquerading as teachers, but it most certainly stops actual teachers." Maura takes a breath. "And it might interest you to know that I had – that I have – a wife. And I love her very much."
Louisa sinks back in her chair, rubbing her forehead. Maura watches her closely, trying to understand the motive behind her sudden appearance.
"Did…She tell you that I-"
"No!" Lou's eyes shoot open, and she looks at the doctor, almost panic-stricken. "God, No. If anything, she was more adamant about it than you. I just…I'm a paranoid nut job." She sinks even deeper into the chair. "I'm sorry," she says after a moment. "I…Jane is not always very forthcoming about her past. You were always a subject on which she never lacked for words." Lou shakes her head. "It was clear that she had a huge crush on you when you were her teacher. I guess, when I saw you, the jealousy I never thought I'd have to face sort of reared its ugly head." She looks at Maura, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she apologizes again.
Maura has fit several more puzzle pieces together. "That's what you meant by decide," she says. "You were asking her to decide if I should still be Elena's Oncologist."
Louisa's cheek get a little pink. "In my defense, I thought you'd molested my wife when she was young and impressionable."
"I NEVER-" Fires up at once.
"I know!" Lou says, raising her hand. "I know…now."
They sit there, looking at each other, and Maura has what is most likely her hundredth realization of the last two days. "I bet we both have a lot of questions we'd like to ask the other," she says, and to her surprise, Louisa laughs.
"I guess so," she answers. Then, after a shrewd look in Maura's direction, she leans forward a little. "I'll trade you one for one."
Maura looks at her, confused. "Trade me?"
"I'll ask you one question about your student, teenage Jane. You ask me one question about my wife, Detective Rizzoli."
"In the spirit of full disclosure," Maura says, pulling her chair closer to the desk. "You just told me one thing I did not previously know."
Louisa grins at her, and when she does, she looks mischievous and pretty. Maura smiles back. "Alright," she says. "You ask yours first."
Louisa doesn't need time to think about it. "Have you ever met her parents?"
This is not what Maura was expecting. "Oh," she says. "Yes. I did, one time, at a Parent Night at school."
Louisa nods but, true to her word, does not ask another question. She looks off at nothing, clearly coming to her own conclusions based on this answer. Maura hopes that they are a little more favorable than the woman's conclusions about her. After a moment, she looks up at Maura. "Your turn," she says, though her face is solemn.
Maura realizes that she doesn't need to think about it either. "She's okay?" she asks, and when Lou looks confused, "I gather from your question that she doesn't speak to her parents, which makes me very sad. But, on the whole, is she happy? Is she okay?"
Louisa looks at her for a long time, and Maura cannot figure out what she's thinking. Finally, she smiles. "Dr. Isles," she says. "You mentioned, when I was accusing you, that you have a wife?"
Maura blinks. "Y-yes?" she answers, though it comes out as a question.
"Well," Louisa says. "I'd love for the two of you – and any children you have – to come over to our house. For dinner."
Maura does not need any time to consider her answer.
