TLoZK: After having to force myself not to write in order to wait for the first month of my new schedule, I end up waiting until the deadline of the first update to actually write it. I can't even think of a way to insult myself that would accurately describe just how little of a work ethic I have. Anyway, since it was Mother's Day only a few days ago, the first update goes to EarthBound. Please enjoy.

DISCLAIMER:

The following is a non-profit, fan-based parody.

The Mother/EarthBound games are owned by Nintendo and Shigesato Itoi.

Please support the official release.

The group of eight stood outside the front door of Duncan Factory, the high noon sun casting a shadow that stretched several feet behind them, a testament to just how massive the factory was.

"Well, we're here." said Ninten.

"Does anyone else feel like it took a lot longer to get here than it actually did?" asked Poo.

"I hear ya. It was only a couple hours, but it felt like we were walking for a few years." Ness agreed.

"Are you guys gonna keep whining, or are we gonna go inside?" asked Loid.

"Look who's talking." said Teddy.

"Point taken." said Loid.

The group entered the factory and were immediately caught up in the sheer scope of it.

"Oh wow, this place is huge." said Paula.

"This reminds me of a TV show I once saw." Jeff mused.

"Which TV show?" asked Ana.

"I can't recall the name, but there was a blue phone booth that was somehow larger on the inside than on the outside." answered Jeff.

"I can see why you'd remember that now." Ninten agreed.

"If we want to be as efficient as possible, we should probably split-whoa." said Loid.

"What's wrong?" asked Paula.

"Nothing, just an odd feeling of deja vu. As I was saying, we should probably split up." said Loid.

"You're probably right. Ness, you and your friends are in charge of searching the left half of the building. Ana, Loid, Teddy, and I will take the right side. We'll meet back here in an hour." Ninten ordered.

"How do we keep from getting lost?" asked Ness.

"Take this." Ninten said.

He handed Ness a loaf of bread.

"Bread?" Ness asked.

"You can drop crumbs to show where you've been. If you get lost follow them back until you figure out where you are." explained Ninten, pulling out a loaf of his own.

"That's actually pretty handy. Thanks." said Ness.

"Is there anything else we should know about this place?" Poo asked.

"There are probably still a few old robots around here that will attack you, and with how long this factory has been abandoned, they're almost certainly in enough disrepair that the slightest damage to their circuitry will cause them to malfunction and explode." explained Loid.

"In layman's terms, metal things go boom." said Teddy.

"Alright, everyone, move out!" exclaimed Ninten.

The two groups of four set off in opposite directions, the leaders dropping crumbs as they went.

"So, Ninty, huh?" Teddy asked, grinning smugly.

Ninten chuckled sheepishly.

"What's the problem with the pet name I gave to my Ninty?" asked Ana.

"Oh, so it's 'my Ninty' now?" Teddy continued, grinning wider.

Ninten could only blush and cover his face with his hands in response.

"Aw, I'm just messing with you. It takes a real man to admit his feelings for a woman. I'm actually kinda jealous. I've only gone on few dates in the past, and they all ended with me getting slapped...or worse." Teddy admitted.

"At least you've gone on dates before. I'd be lucky if a girl payed attention to me outside of trying to copy my homework." lamented Loid.

"Just you wait, Loid. I'm sure one day things will change and girls will find nerds attractive." Ana encouraged.

"Yeah, maybe when they find Bigfoot." said Loid.

"What happened to wanting people to be optimistic?" said Ninten.

"Oh, be quiet." Loid said, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

Meanwhile, Ness's group had been searching through several rooms. Their encounters with robots had been high, but the same could not be said for their search for parts to repair the Phase Distorter.

"Well this is just perfect. We've looked all over our half of the factory and all we've found are a bunch of exploding robots." grumbled Ness.

"We still have a few rooms left to check. Don't give up yet." Paula said.

"If nothing else, we will narrow down the number of rooms that we need to search and we can go and join up with the other group." said Poo.

"Think of it as a race. If we finish quickly, we can gloat that we were more efficient." agreed Jeff.

"Okay. Let's go." Ness relented.

Predictably, it wasn't until they explored the final room that they found something useful.

"This circuit board is mostly intact, and there are a few pieces of scrap metal that could be used to patch some holes. Mission accomplished, I'd say." reported Jeff.

"We'd better get back to the others and leave this place." said Ness.

The four followed their breadcrumb trail to the entrance and then followed the trail Ninten had left. The two groups met up halfway between the entrance and the end of the trail.

"That was fast. You guys find anything?" Ninten asked.

"We sure did." said Paula, indicating the circuit board and scrap metal they'd found.

"Nice. We got a few things too, mostly more scrap metal. It's not quite enough to fix the machine entirely, but it's something." Loid explained.

"I don't have to lug this stuff around everywhere, do I?" asked Teddy.

"Don't worry, Ness and I will teleport it back to Podunk, and Jeff and Loid will come with us to fix up what they can." said Ninten.

"Is this a volunteer job, or are we being volunteered?" Ness quipped.

The group exited the factory and emerged into the sunset.

"Ah, fresh air and colors other than gray. I never want to go into that factory again as long as I live." said Ana.

"I second that. I shudder to think how lost we would've been without those breadcrumbs." Paula agreed.

"Ready, guys?" asked Ninten.

"Ready." answered Jeff.

"Ready." Loid replied.

"Ready. PK Teleport!" Ness shouted.

The four disappeared with the parts for the Phase Distorter in tow.

Poo decided to pass the time by meditating, conversing with Teddy as he did. Paula and Ana walked a short distance away to talk without interruption.

"You and Ninten, huh?" asked Paula.

"Mm-hmm." muttered Ana.

"How did you two meet?" Paula questioned.

"We met when he came to my house in Snowman to return my hat that I had left at the train station in Reindeer. I left it there on purpose due to a dream I had that said that the boy who returned it would be the one who would help me find my missing mother." Ana explained.

"Talk about your fairy tales." Paula joked.

"It certainly seems that way when I think back to that day. From the moment I saw him, I knew he was the one for me." Ana sighed happily.

"I know what you mean." Paula said.

"You really like Ness, don't you?" asked Ana.

"Yeah, I really do. I just don't know how to tell him. How did you tell Ninten how you felt about him?" asked Paula.

"We had just climbed up Mt. Itoi and reached a small lodge to rest at. Teddy had to make some phone calls and said that they might be a bit much for our ears, so Ninten and I went into the next room to sit down. There was a music box playing, and I asked Ninten to dance with me. I guess that the seriousness of the situation and the heat of the moment made me decide it was now or never because I found myself asking him if he loved me and he said yes." Ana recounted.

"Wow, that's such a sweet story. I hope I'll get a chance like that with Ness." said Paula.

A flash of light signified that the boys had returned.

"Welcome back. How are the repairs?" asked Poo.

"We were able to fix more than we thought. All we need is a new engine." said Jeff.

"But where are we gonna find one?" asked Teddy.

"There is one place I can think of. But it'll be dangerous, even with all eight of us." said Loid.

"Which place?" asked Ness.

"The lab beneath the lake on Mt. Itoi." Loid explained.

"Is there really no other way?" asked Ninten.

"I'm afraid so." Loid affirmed.

"Great. Looks like were in for a long journey." groaned Teddy.

"Yeah, especially with Magicant gone." said Ninten.

"Magicant? You visited Magicant? How?" asked Ness.

"I'll explain on the way." said Ninten.

With that, the group walked back off towards Merrysville as the moon began to rise into the sky.

TLoZK: Phew. My arms were starting to cramp up. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to get up a chapter of WotW before the end of the month. See you then.