Chapter Five: Sympathy
Lana hung her head, letting out a breath of frustration.
Why did she always fail at this? Ema was all she had, and Lana knew how aloof she could be. Making lasting relationships was a personal struggle Ema knew she was sensitive about. Sometimes, it felt like everyone who cared about her was either dead or overseas. If she couldn't be a good family member to he sister, she was completely alone.
"Not all of us want to be single at forty."
She knew in her heart that Ema didn't mean it. She saw it in her eyes the second after she said it. But that didn't stop the ache in her heart.
"Oh Ema, why do I always mess up at this?"
She sat in the same chair for who knows how long. She didn't cry (she never did), but she sure wasn't feeling pleasant. She thought about going out to look for Ema, then realized she'd only get lost in the foreign city. Ema would have an easier time finding her way home than Lana would.
And when a knock came at the door, it occurred to Lana she might not have to search after all.
She went to open the door, only to run into the cause of the argument itself: Nahyuta Sahdmadhi. He had a box of sweets in his hands and a tentative smile on his face.
"Good evening, Ms. Skye."
"Good evening." Lana looked behind him, only to lock eyes with a royal guard. She could only see one, but she imagined there must be more. "What brings you here so late?"
"Mother felt bad for ruining dessert, so a kitchen servant offered to make some in order to replace what was lost." He offered a small laugh. "Besides, of the local cuisine, pashra'sueet is one of Ema's personal favorites. I figured she would love some to share with you, so I brought a box over. Where is she, if I may ask?"
Lana wasn't sure how to answer this. "She... stepped out. I'm sure she'll be back soon."
Something changed in the prince's eyes, when she said that. The way he looked at her, it was a though he saw right through her lie. They stared at each other for a moment.
And then, it was like nothing had happened. He handed her the box of pastries, prompting her to taste one. It was sweet, caked in powdered sugar and dripping in juice. Lana could see why Ema liked them.
"Have you had one from this batch?"
"No, but there are plenty left over at the palace. These are for you and Ema to share."
Lana hesitated. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you had one. There's plenty in the box."
Gently, he pulled one out of the container, examining it thoroughly before taking a dainty bite. As opposed to Lana, whose clothing was caked in pastry. How did Ema put up with this?
"Thank you, Ms. Skye. You're very generous." He paused, scanning the room behind her. "I was hoping to speak with Ema. May I wait with you for her return?"
"Um... I don't really know when she's going to be back, and I'm sure you're very busy. I can pass on a message for you, if you'd like."
"Please, it's no trouble. Unless... I would be burdening you in some way?"
"No, of course not." What else could she do, refuse the regent? Lana didn't know the customs here, but that still felt like a bad idea. And she really couldn't think of any other excuses. "Please, come in."
She moved out of the way, glancing outside as he walked in. His guards didn't follow him, at least. Maybe they were used to him paying visits like this. Visits with a more, ah, intimate nature.
Right away, his eyes were drawn to the scripture book on the floor. He picked it up, cradling its cover in his arms like a newborn child. The regent sounded almost hurt when he spoke. "Has Ema been reading this, to your knowledge?"
"She was reading it when I returned from the shower today. I think it just fell out of the chair." The lie at the end came easily. At least he didn't seem to notice this time.
That made the man smile, a bit more genuinely than he had at dinner. "That's good. It's enjoyable, for us to share parts of ourselves with each other. In just a few months, I've learned so much from her."
Lana felt a pinprick of guilt in her heart, but did her best to ignore it. "She mentioned that she enjoyed reading the story of the Holy Mother. When she told me about it, it sounded quite exciting."
"Her Holiness saved our good people from a fate of endless bloodshed. In Her honor, Khura'in has never declared war on anyone, from the founding of the nation to today." He spoke with a conviction Lana could never relate to. Must be nice, to be so sure of something in life.
"Hm..." Lana hummed, not looking the monk prince in the eye. Why couldn't the monks of this place be celibate?
"Is something on your mind, Ms. Skye?"
"Just Ema. She left rather suddenly. I wish I knew where she was."
"...I was under the impression you knew."
"Not really. She and I kinda got into a fight, before you showed up."
"I see." He folded his fingers and tilted his head downwards, meditating for a short moment. "She told me, about her relationship with you. About... the difficulties, she sometimes faced in understanding you. Forgive me if I intrude, but I truly think she cares about you."
And with that, it all came pouring out. Lana didn't know why. "I know she does, but sometimes, she just never listens to me. She thinks because she's an adult now and she's got the job she wants that she's invincible, and doesn't need to take advice from anyone. And it isn't that I'm not happy for her, but- I know how young she is, and I don't think she realizes just what she has ahead of her. Life is full of missteps, and just one bad choice can bring you just- absolute misery. For years." She sighed, slumping her shoulders. "I just wish she was more cautious."
He sat down beside her, placing the book on the coffee table. "I sympathize, with you. Some days, I look at my own sister, and feel the exact same way. In fact, I think you phrased it better than I ever could."
Oh, that's right. He and Princess Rayfa... she hadn't known he was her brother until a trial last May. Lana couldn't even imagine. She and Ema may have their differences, but at least they'd always known they were siblings. The princess might have seemed okay at dinner, but Lana could only imagine how she felt about it all.
"I care about Rayfa. I want to protect Rayfa. But about Rayfa? I know almost nothing."
"Sometimes, I think the same thing about Ema. Every time I think I know her and try to act on it, I find out I've been wrong all along. It's been years, like this. And it never stops."
"If it's any consolation, I know Ema would love to work it out with you, if only she knew how. She was very excited when she heard you were coming to visit. it sounds like she planned to show you everything here." He coughed. "Everything she found notable, that is. I personally think she left a few things out."
"Hm..." She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but the whole situation felt strange. She barely knew the guy.
"She'll be back soon. You just have to wait." He turned to look at her. "You mean too much to her."
"And you too, apparently." Lana grumbled.
He blinked. "Before Ema entered my life, I had resigned myself to a fate in the depths of hell. My life was nothing more substantial than seeking to kill the dreams of others, all while I suppressed the dream inside me. All while I pretended it was what Her Holiness wanted.
"I often give credit to Apollo, and truly, he deserves as much. But meeting your sister was like discovering what it means to live again. Her passion for what she does was genuine, far more than my mask could have ever been. Her thoroughness and determination, her resoluteness towards finding the truth was something I admired, regardless of its effects on my case. I reveled in that light in her eyes, envied it even. And so I asked to take her wherever I go, in hopes that I would find the same thing in me. In her, I remembered why I had became a prosecutor in the first place. Even when she raged and cursed against me, I couldn't find it in myself to let her go, and move on. I told myself that I was simply jealous, that I wanted what she had.
"And on that day, when I finally climbed out of the pit and to the love of my living family, she was there. I had gained what I wanted, and still I could not bear to see her part from me. So I asked her to stay, and still I revel in the light of her eyes. As the world goes mad around us, she gives me the strength to press on. The strength to hope for and create a better future."
Lana was silent as he spoke. She'd heard from others that the regent could be eloquent, but here she was, experiencing it for herself. Was it his silver tongue that caused Ema to fall in love? She wasn't the type to be swayed by looks.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because you're Ema's sister. Her closest remaining family. You raised her to be the wonderful person she is. You deserve to know how other people see your work. Not to mention," he leaned in, tone getting slightly more serious, "my mother's first long talk with Ema involved investigation into her intentions, with me. She was curious about the man her son was and the company he kept. Seeing the way you studied us at dinner... It made me wonder if you were here doing the same."
Lana pulled back. He'd nailed it almost on the head.
"Well I am. And if you're trying to convince me of something, it doesn't matter. Ema's going to stay with you no matter what I say."
"That's not what you were arguing about, was it?" he asked. "If it was, I'm sorry. It isn't my wish to come between the two of you."
"No- I mean, yes. I just-" didn't think I'd have to say any of this to you. I don't even know you. "I just want to know Ema is safe and happy. If she isn't safe here, I don't want her to be here, no matter what guy she likes."
"Don't let the media scare you, Ms. Skye. The most dangerous time for her here is past, and as the revolution goes on, things will only get better. It's another reason we haven't announced our relationship to the nation. I don't want to put her in danger, and she doesn't want to be guarded at all times. And if I weren't making Ema happy, I would hope she knows she can leave whenever she wishes. If you're concerned about anything else, that's something that can be discussed. And while I don't blame you for being protective-"
"I know, I know. My sister's an adult. Kinda hard to miss. And yet, I feel like I missed it all."
"I sympathize with you once more, Ms. Skye. But what else can we do? It's unbecoming to attempt living in the past, is it not? We can only be active in the present, in hopes we miss nothing more."
Gosh, was he always like this? Lana was charmed and annoyed all at once.
He seemed to sense her slight hostility, because it was then he chose to excuse himself. "It seems Ema may be a while yet. I fear I've outstayed my welcome," he bowed, "Goodnight, Ms. Skye. And may the Holy Mother watch over you while you stay."
"G'Night." Lana felt rude, but if it meant he was finally leaving, then so be it. She didn't want to feel any more confused than she already did. "I'll let Ema know you stopped by."
"Thank you."
As he closed the door behind him, Lana got herself ready for bed. If Ema came back during the night, Lana didn't hear it.
She was too tired to listen anymore.
A/N's: Yay! My first fic update of the summer! On the first day of my summer break, no less!
Expect a lot more updates from me, now. AAI3 is back in gear, my CS review of Turnabout Revolution is almost done (I only have to finish trial latter), and I know who I'm doing for the next ERB:AA. Speaking of updates, I hope you liked this one. It's a bit different, seeing as Ema isn't physically in it. If it feels like she was gone longer than the argument warrants, just know I was originally going to include a scene of her going over to talk to Apollo, only to see that Apollo is busy and them both getting lost in his work while she complains out loud. But then I scrapped that idea, because all the previous chapters feature Lana's POV and I wanted to remain consistent. Hope that works out for me, here.
Also, there's just one chapter left planned. I know vaguely how I wanna resolve this, but I'm starting to think it may take longer. Will let you know when chapter six comes out.
In the meantime, thanks for reading, please review, and I will see you on the far side!
