Well, I haven't updated in a very long time, and I am truly sorry. But life happens. I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter 6: Dominos of the SGC
As the crew of the Andromeda laughed and high-fived each other, the red alert light started flashing, and the words "Unscheduled off-world activation" resounded throughout the base.
"You know what?" sighed Hammond. "That happens far too often around here to be classified as a red alert. Maybe a blue alert. Or Lavender. WALTER!" He jogged up to the control room.
"What was that about?" asked Beka, frowning.
"Oh nothing," said Jack. "It just means that some evil alien is probably going to try and destroy us again."
"I hate it when that happens," said Dylan sympathetically.
"Do you know who it is?" asked Golden Trance.
"No," said Sam. "But we should probably get up there, otherwise we might die when they come through."
"If they're malevolent, the General won't let them through," Daniel assured her.
"Indeed," said Teal'c. "General Hammond is wise, and will not let-"
"Hey guys!" shouted Hammond excitedly from his spot in the control room. "Get up here! This guy sells vacuum cleaners!"
"Then again…"said Daniel.
"Vacuum cleaners?" asked Purple Trance.
"Yeah!" shouted Hammond. "And they give discounts to Generals!"
"Sure they do…" said Golden Trance.
"We'd better get up there," said Jack. "Before all the vacuums are gone."
He and the rest of SG-1 ran up to the control room, leaving the crew of the Andromeda to their own devices.
"What now?" asked Rommie, who had finally tired of poking the stargate. (Which was fortunate as at that exact moment, the giant KA-WOOSH, well, ka-wooshed, missing them by inches.)
"Maybe we should explore," suggested Harper.
"Or we could blow stuff up," suggested Tyr.
"How about we do what Harper said?" said Dylan, attempting to take charge.
"Sure," said Beka.
"Sounds good," nodded Rommie.
"Awwwww…" said Tyr, looking disappointed.
"Ok," said Harper. "Which way?"
Hibobhibobhibobhibob
They finally decided to go right, where they soon lost themselves in the corridors.
"It's like a maze!" cried Beka, throwing her hands up in the air and sinking to the floor. "I give up!"
"What we really need is a map," said Dylan.
"Ok, Captain Obvious." Said Rommie sarcastically.
"That's Captain Hunt to you," said Dylan, pointing at her patronisingly,
"So what?" asked Rommie. "I don't care."
"You're a little grumpy, aren't you?" teased Harper.
"I AM NOT GRUMPY!!!!!" thundered Rommie.
"It must be that time of month," whispered Tyr.
"ANDROIDS DON'T HAVE 'THAT TIME OF MONTH'!!!!!!" shouted Rommie.
"You sure?" asked Purple Trance, and quickly hid behind Golden Trance, as Rommie looked ready to kill.
"Uh," Beka held up a hand. "If anyone's interested, I've solved our map problem."
"Really? How?" asked Dylan.
"This guy here sells them," said Beka, pointing to man standing behind a kiosk with the word 'MAPS' painted on the front.
"Ohhhh…" said the rest.
"So," said Beka. "Where to?"
Hibobhibobhibobhibob
"So who's this vacuum cleaner sales man?" asked Jack as he and SG-1 entered the control room.
"I don't know," sulked Hammond. "He cut off just after the end of the paragraph before last."
"Darn," said Sam. "And I needed a new vacuum too!"
"What exactly is a vacuum cleaner?" asked Teal'c.
"A vacuum that cleans," Daniel answered.
"I understand," said Teal'c, inclining his head.
"How does he do that?" asked Jack, who had recently spent an entire Saturday explaining what a lawn mower was.
"It is simple, O'Neill," said Teal'c. "I simply move the muscles at in my neck forward-"
"That's not what I meant." Interrupted Jack. Teal'c frowned, confused.
"Did he give his name?" asked Sam, returning to the story.
"Joe," said Hammond.
"That's it?" asked Daniel. "Just Joe?"
"Yep," confirmed Hammond. "Um, by the way, where are our visitors?"
At this point, SG-1 realized that they had left the crew of the Andromeda alone.
"Oops," said Jack.
"We'll be right back, sir," said Sam, running out of the control room, closely followed by the rest of her team. Immediately, she bumped face first into Tyr Anasazi.
"Ow!" she cried, falling backwards into Jack, who fell backwards into Teal'c, who fell backwards into Daniel, who landed on the floor.
"Cool!" squealed Tyr. "Dominos!"
"Do it again!" cried Dylan, jumping up and down like a pogo stick on a trampoline.
"Uh, no," said Daniel, as he stood up.
"Is anybody seriously hurt?" Asked Dr. Fraiser, suddenly popping up behind them, wielding a large needle. "Does anybody need a doctor?" she looked all too eager.
"No," said SG-1, leaning away. Disappointed, Dr. Fraiser slunk away, petting her needle and muttering soothingly.
"Is she crazy?" asked Rommie.
"This from the woman who pokes the Stargate." Muttered Sam.
"What?"
"Goldfish?" answered Sam.
"I wanted a Goldfish," said Harper wistfully. "But Trance wouldn't let me have one."
"You killed Walter," said The Trances at the same time.
At this, Walter the technician fainted. Dr. Fraiser eagerly raced in, followed by a team bearing a stretcher.
"I'm fine," protested Walter, who had woken up about five seconds after fainting.
"No you're not," said Dr. Fraiser, holding up her needle menacingly. "You are unconscious."
"No, I'm-" the needle stabbed into his arm, and Walter's snores filled the room.
"Clear the way," called the doctor. "We have a very sick man here." She and her medical team trooped out, only to come back in, as they had forgotten Walter.
"That was weird," said Golden Trance.
And then, the red alert alarm went off again.
"Here we go," sighed Sam, running into the control room, and promptly bumping face first into Teal'c.
"This is not my day," she groaned as she fell into Jack, who fell into Daniel, who fell into Dylan, who fell into Beka, who fell into Harper, who fell into Purple Trance, who fell into Golden Trance, who hit her head on Tyr's chest.
"SQUEE!" cried Tyr. "Again! Again!"
Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter. Questions? Comments? Concerns for my sanity? Just click the review button!
