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Summary: Jeff Hardy had made a successful comeback after years away from the WWE, and he should be on cloud nine but he finds himself lost with no direction. Can a person from his past come back and change him for the better or will he be lost forever?
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Series: Mended Hearts Series
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing
He walked along the Hardy land, grateful for the week of no house shows, mainly for his body which had been taking more then its share of a beating lately, but also for the reason of just wanting to be back where the green grass grew and he felt sane.
His father was still dating his current girlfriend, so lately coming home to visit him wasn't as needed, and he found that while the woman did not take the place of his mother, the eternal angel herself, she did take good care of his father and he was grateful. He walked the land with a purpose, so much running through his mind.
He hadn't been very good in the match the night before, his back now finally screaming in agony after going through too many ladder matches and falls from steel cages. He knew he was taking a chance with his body and his life every time he got into the ring, but he also knew he couldn't see himself doing anything else. He was creative and he prided himself on it immensely but in his mind, wrestling for him was his chance to be creative. Who else could say they did what he did and got away with it?
If he had to be honest, it had nothing to do with the match before that had brought him home like a wounded dog this week but more about what he had learned before being in the match that threw him for a loop.
Trish Stratus was broken up with her husband of only a few months and she was debating whether or not to make a comeback to the ring. The ring that until last year she had called home. He had just returned when she was leaving, and they hadn't been really close, but he felt like he had lost a piece of his heart when she had walked away from the business.
Didn't you go ahead and do the same thing to her only a few short years before though?
Sure he had. He had walked away with the intent to go off, be a musician, be a good boyfriend to his forever girl Beth and also to just take time off and be Jeff Hardy. But it hadn't turned out all that well in the long run. He felt the need to get back in the ring on his own terms then, and had chosen to go to TNA and make a go of it. Which he had and which he had also enjoyed a great deal. Sure his past had followed him there and he had been on probation for his actions more then once, but he was still able to do it on his own terms.
She had understood his reasoning then though. They hadn't been dating although the feelings were indeed there back then, as they still were for him now. He had learned from talking to Amy back then that while Trish had missed him immensely, she never let it affect her run with the titles or her work ethic and he was happy for it. As much as he had loved Beth back then and treasured Trish, he knew that sticking around when he was unhappy would do no good for any of them.
But now, where was he and how did he really feel about her return? His head screamed that it could only lead to more trouble for him and for the story he had so richly worked on and deserved. But his heart said different. After breaking things off with Beth before his new WWE comeback, he knew that his heart was leading him back to her. The only problem was, when he came back to her, she was already planning a wedding and moving on.
You shouldn't have walked away with no contact. If you have done it differently, she still might be here now.
How many times had he wished that she would be there with him now, as he stalked the Hardy land he had built his house on, caring for him and for their marriage as well as any children they may or may not have had? How many times had he admitted to himself that the only person that had ever sparked the feeling of commitment in him had been the Toronto born Diva? More times then he could count, and as he stopped to smell the scent of life around him, he knew that the feeling was still very much there.
He took in the life around him, the trees swaying with the movement of the westward wind and the sound of the birds chirping as they flew around him with not a care in the world. For years this land had been used to create food and a money making life for their family, even before his mothers passing and he found now that there was no other place he could live in within the planet where he could feel this at peace.
It was a lot like when she sat outside the arena's during house shows and also during the taping of the RAW shows he was on as a tag team with his brother. The same feelings were evoked in him and he was thankful that instead of letting life take him over, he stopped to smell the roses.
Matt had never been like him, he was always the smart brother, the one that saw what he wanted and went after it and worked damn hard to get it. Jeff admired that about his older brother, but he also knew that he was more like his mother then anyone cared to admit when the family got together. He was the forever dreamer, the one that had his head in the clouds and always wanted to find ways to make use of the beauty in front of him. He was thankful that he was that way, because it meant that even now, so many years after her death, that Ruby Hardy still did live on.
If Mama was alive now, what do you think she would make of the situation you find yourself in?
He knew that his mother was watching from Heaven and that she did indeed know what was going through her younger son at the moment. He also truly believed that she would help him in the only way she could, through his heart, to help him make the right decision. He sometimes wished for a simpler time, a time where she would still be with them and healthy so that he could take his life to her and leave it in her hands, knowing it would all turn out okay.
"Mama you would have loved Trish had you gotten the chance to really meet her. Whether we were really together or not, she changed me and she made an impact no other woman but you could ever do. I wish you could give me the answers, to make me see what I need to do here. Should I be okay with Trish coming back or should I be worried? Is it possible that this could change both of our lives forever?"
He spoke to his mother often, looking up to the sometimes clear blue sky as he did. He knew that she was listening, and one day, when the time was right, she would answer him and give him what he needed most. Answers.
He heard crunching of grass coming from behind him then and turned to face whatever was coming for him. He knew instantly without even looking that it was his brother, and that he was worried about him. Matt always knew when Jeff wandered off that something needed to be dealt with and this time was no different.
"Jeff, where are you right now?"
"I am where I always am Matt, here with you on our land appreciating life."
Matt walked and stood by his brother then, choosing to look out over the vast beauty of the world with him for once. To take in all they had and all they had accomplished in such a short amount of time. He rarely did it, but at this moment, he knew that was what his brother needed most. He needed him to understand.
"Are you going to leave again? Is that what this time alone is all about? Are you ready to jump again?" he asked lightly, knowing this topic was not an easy one for the younger Hardy brother to talk about.
"No Matthew, I am not going to jump again, not the way I did in the past. Things are different now, I am different."
"Then what is it? What has got you out here this early in the morning staring off into space?"
"She is coming back Matt, and I am afraid that the feeling of being home again is going to come crashing down around me and i won't be able to save myself."
