Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews! camila yes, somewhat.
Chapter Five
Scorpius and Rose had broken up. It was go time.
Dominique took extra time making sure her hair was perfectly coiffed that morning, using a myriad of hair products to produce perfect curls with texture and body. She rolled her skirt up a couple of times to show off more of her smooth, pale thighs, white platform sneakers making her long legs look like a mile stretch.
She carefully applied Ruby Woo by Mac to her pouty lips, smacking them together sensually. Perfect. Done. Scorpius wouldn't know what hit him.
During potions, she slid into Rose's old seat next to Scorpius. He looked up in surprise, but offered a smile anyway. A wary one, but a smile all the same.
"Hey, Scorpius. How are you?" Her voice was calm, quiet, sympathetic. She ran her hand gently and briefly over his shoulder, reminiscent of the way she would daintily brush her hair off her own shoulder.
"I'm fine," he said, stiffening only barely. It wasn't normal for Dominique to act like this towards him, not since he started dating Rose. Sometimes she would watch him and their eyes would meet and she'd smile coyly, but it never went farther than that. Scorpius would be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive, but her touch didn't affect him the way it might affect some of his classmates.
Dominique didn't throw herself at boys. She planted the seed of attraction, watered it every now and then, and then sat back and watched it grow. However, this method was hardly ever needed. Most boys wanted her anyway. But Scorpius was the romantic type – simply being hot wouldn't do. Being close to him and talking to him would have greater impact, but she couldn't just start asking him what his favourite color was. She needed to create some intrigue. This was her seed; she ignored Scorpius for the rest of the class period in the hopes that he would make the next move. He snuck glances at her for the rest of the class period. She took this as a small victory.
When Dom was fifteen, she had looked in the mirror one morning and realized she was beautiful, accepting the implications that came with it. Being judged automatically for being shallow, being wanted only for her looks, not having to be smart or funny or nice. She had been told from as long as she could remember that she was pretty, that she was going to become a very beautiful young woman. And looking in the mirror that day, she thought she looked… almost… hot. She was desirable. She could have anything, or anyone, she wanted.
Just to test it, she had tried to seduce the most attractive boy at school – and it had worked. The boys that had come after didn't matter. They were all so easy. A simple smile could pull them in. That's why Scorpius was intriguing – like the first, he would be a real accomplishment: handsome, smart, and a challenge.
The class period ended and Dominique turned to leave, completely sure he would say something, stop her before she left. And sure enough, just as she slung her book bag over her shoulder, he did.
Scorpius grabbed her arm – not too demanding, but with a gentle firmness meant to stop her in her tracks. He said, "Dom?"
The short nickname from someone who didn't usually address her with a nickname, or really address her much at all, turned her fake smile into an actual one, soft around the edges but flirty in its silent mischief. "Yes?" she replied, her tone light.
He sighed and looked around, making sure everyone had left. He took a step closer, his hand still on her arm. Their breaths intermingled, and his cool gaze met hers with a question in them. He seemed nervous, the way his hand clenched against her arm. She could feel each little crescent of his fingernails bite her skin.
"Has Rose said anything to you?"
Dominique's smile dropped.
"No, she hasn't. Not yet, anyway." Some digging was in order.
His hand dropped from her arm. He stepped back, seeming a bit lost. He must have had follow up questions that were no longer applicable. He looked a little relieved.
"Oh." Scorpius chewed at his plump bottom lip before briefly meeting her eyes and muttering, "See you, Dominique."
Her nose wrinkled in distaste as he walked past her. Any inclination she had about his feelings toward her went sour. This would take more work than she thought. Perhaps she had bargained with the idea that he would fall into her arms in his sadness, accepting her as a rebound. But no, he didn't seem the slightest bit interested. Even when his face had been so close to hers, there wasn't any sort of sign that he felt a ripple of electricity, an inkling of attraction.
Dominique startled at the sound of shuffling papers, and looked over to see Slughorn watching her curiously. She straightened and left the room, trying to act casual, dipping her head towards him at the door in greeting. Had he heard everything? Probably. Had her disappointment been as obvious as it felt? Probably. If anyone was as much of a gossip as Dominique, it was Slughorn.
Whatever. It didn't matter. Her eye was still on the prize. She needed to do more digging, and lunch seemed like the best opportunity to get Rose alone and talking. Besides a tearful admittance that her and Scorpius were done, Rose hadn't said much else about the when, where, why, and how. And if anything about the way Scorpius had acted earlier made clear, it was that Rose was the who – the one who ended it. The other who was what shocked her even more – what exactly was Lily's role in this?
Dominique intercepted Rose by the Great Hall, gently linking her arm through her cousin's and leading her into a quiet, mostly empty corridor.
"Hey, sweetie. How are you?" Dom asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
Rose had always had a sort of tender prettiness that never surpassed beautiful. Her hair was big with bouncy, frizzy curls of a bright orange hue, and her eyes were large, doe-eyes, muddy brown. Freckles were abundant across her face, with otherwise clear skin. Even Dominique didn't have that – sometimes she was forced to cake on foundation to cover up the occasional breakout. Rose was fat, and very insecure about it, which made it even more obvious. However, the way that Scorpius wanted her made her seem even more desirable to everyone around her. Most days, Dominique would look at Rose and see someone she wanted to be. It was so laughably backwards – Dominique was the one every girl wanted to be.
However, today was not a day where anyone would want to be Rose Weasley.
Rose's eyes were still puffy from crying, her usually large eyes squinty. Her hair was untouched, pulled back in a puffy ball at the nape of her neck. Her white button-up shirt was tight on her, stretched at the seams, unappealing to her body type. Unfortunate armpit stains completed her pathetic look of the day.
"Oh, Dom, thanks, but I'll be fine," she insisted with a wobbly grin. A film of thick saliva adorned her sad attempt at a smile. She probably hadn't brushed her teeth. "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did, silly!" Dominique giggled, bumping her hip and trying to lighten her up and spill. Rose laughed along, obviously faked. Even her laugh sounded miserable.
"You sat with Scorpius this morning." Not a question.
"I did, Rosie. I was hoping to make the situation less awkward for you. So, if I took your seat, you wouldn't have to sit there. I hope that was okay. Did I upset you?" Dominique tilted her head to the side, like a confused bird.
"No, no! Of course not. But… did Scorpius say anything about me?" Rose chewed on her lip, much the same way Scorpius had. Dom briefly wondered who had picked up the nervous habit from whom.
Dominique considered her response (a lie or the truth?) before saying, "No, he didn't. But he seemed pretty broken up about it." Rose nodded, her lips pressed together tightly, making creases appear at the corner of her lips and her dimples show.
"Rose, I hope you don't mind me asking… but what happened? You two seemed so happy." Dominique made her tone neutral, but she couldn't help her intense expression of curiosity. She itched to know. She hated secrets, she hated not knowing. She would get her hands on a vial of veritaserum if she had to.
Rose looked around to make sure the coast was clear, then grabbed Dominique's arm and pulled her towards the window seat at the end of the hall. They sat, turning their knees towards each other and leaning forward as they usually did when someone was dishing. Sunshine shone through the stained glass window, alighting on Rose's face and making her look like a piece of art. It was the first time that day that Dominique thought Rose actually looked pretty again.
"It was our anniversary. He wanted to have sex. Well, okay, that's not… I mean… I initiated. But then I backed out, I didn't want to anymore."
Dominique wanted to scream out, "WHY?!" but managed a simple eye-twitch instead. Rose was an odd creature. How anyone could deny Scorpius sex was a mystery to her.
Rose continued, "And I got upset because I felt guilty, and he said that it was okay, it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't worry but – I just couldn't stop apologizing, and I guess that made it worse. So then he yelled at me to just stop apologizing, because it wasn't like he was ever going to get any anyways. And so I started crying. Then he said I shouldn't feel bad b-because—" Rose stopped, overcome with emotion, her eyes filling with tears that quickly spilled over. Dominique reached out, putting a hand over Rose's in silent comfort. Here comes the good stuff!
"He was like 'I have to tell you something, I was hanging out with Lily the other night and she came onto me.'" Rose's nostrils flared. Dominique's eyes widened in surprise. "And I was like 'how? What happened?' I was sure it was nothing, and he was just overreacting, but no. Apparently she told him she liked him and she kissed him."
"That bitch!" Dominique said, this time completely sincere in her reaction. Secretly she thought that if Scorpius was going to cheat on Rose with anyone, it would be her. Lily? Lily?! She was tiny, practically anorexic, always wore the same fucking black hoodie, never did anything to her hair, and always smoked pot. She hardly ever wore makeup. She barely ever talked, and when she did, she was just saying something sarcastic or rude. How did Lily get to kiss Scorpius?
But wait – Scorpius would never reciprocate. He was completely loyal to Rose. Right?
Rose swiped at her tears. "I thought that, too. But Lily is family. Scorpius is like – like, her friend. They hang out all the time at night and I didn't want to be too, like, clingy, you know? I didn't want to be one of those girlfriends who doesn't let her boyfriend hang out with other girls. But it's Lily, she's only fifteen and she's not… I mean, she does recreational drugs but she's just a broody teenager. She's not… I mean… she's still innocent, right?" Rose shook her head, rubbing her forehead. "I'm so stupid."
She collapsed into more tears against Dominique, who was actually just itching to make her finish the damn story! But she acquiesced, rubbing her back and stroking her hair. "You're not stupid, Rosie. It's going to be okay," Dominique murmured.
Once Rose had gathered herself, she sat up and continued, "But I am stupid. How did I not see it? That Lily liked him, I mean? It seemed like she was mad at me lately, and now I know why. She likes him. So anyways, I told Scorpius it wasn't a big deal. Like, you didn't do anything, right? She made the move." Rose took a deep breath. "But he got real quiet. And I was like, 'Did you kiss her back?' And you know what? He did. He kissed her. He fucking kissed that… that—"
"That stupid fucking slut!" Dominique snapped, gripping Rose's hand tightly. Dom was sure smoke must be pouring from her nostrils by now. Her heart was beating a rapid staccato in her chest, and she could only see red. She felt angered and cheated on, even though she was on the complete outside of the whole situation. She couldn't even imagine how Rose felt.
"Don't say that…" Rose chastised, but it was weak, and a slight smile turned her lips up at the side. She sobered quickly. "Anyways, he said he stopped her and told her to leave. He said he was really sorry that he hurt me. But you know what? He never apologized for doing it. He never once said it was a mistake. And usually when we fight, he won't let me leave until he knows we're okay. But I left and…" Rose's voice broke, "he just let me go."
"This is crazy. How did this happen?" Dominique asked. Whether she was asking Rose or herself, she didn't know. Lily was so far off her radar, she had no idea she was even a threat. Now her plan to get Scorpius had gone completely off the rails. Rose had been the only issue, which until very recently, had become a nonissue. But now Lily?
"I don't know!" Rose exclaimed, becoming increasingly upset. "I can't believe they did this to me!"
"Rosie, I'm going to get her for this," Dominique said, feeling suddenly inspired. She leaned forward until Rose was forced to meet her vengeful gaze. "I promise you, she's going to pay."
By the end of lunch, everyone knew why the golden couple of Hogwarts had broken up, thanks to a very chatty blonde in a short skirt.
Lily hadn't planned on going to school that day. She had faked sick and skipped class so many times that she decided, hell, one more time wouldn't be so bad.
But as she tossed and turned in bed, she found that she couldn't think of anything else except… sigh. Scorpius fucking Malfoy.
Finally, she resigned herself to the fact that if she didn't get up and do something, she was going to go crazy. Even simple distractions like her daily routine would be better than her own nagging thoughts. What was Scorpius thinking? How had his anniversary with her gone? Had he been thinking about her? At all?
Had he told Rose?
The thought had horrified her, and it was most of the reason why she couldn't get out of bed. But she would have to face reality sooner or later.
Lily showered and emerged from the bathroom smelling like coconut. She used sea salt spray in her hair, accentuating her natural wavy hair but defusing the frizz. She rubbed some cherry flavored lip balm on her lips and smacked them in the mirror until they were no longer pale, but rosy and plump. She pinched her cheeks, but it ended up making her face just look red and blotchy, so she rectified the situation with her "special occasion" mineral foundation. She smudged eyeliner at the corner of her tightline and skipped the mascara. She looked rather like a freak of nature, alien and otherworldly, but she liked the overall effect. Beautiful, but kind of terrifying. If Rose was going to take her down today, she'd look good while it happened.
She spent ten minutes hopping into her tightest pair of skinny jeans, hobbling around, lunging, and hopping until her legs finally fit into them. She checked out her arse in the mirror and smiled. Success. She pulled on a black fitted shirt and a black cardigan, with black, almost completely shredded converse. She needed a new pair. She made a mental note, but doubted she would remember.
Lily left the dormitory at 12:32pm, which meant that everyone would be eating lunch in the Great Hall right at that moment. Hopefully she could slip in, catch lunch, then slip back out, walk to the Quidditch pitch and spy on the Hufflepuff team's hot players sweating in their jerseys from under the bleachers as she smoked a bowl.
Lily didn't make it to lunch.
Right as she was about to enter the Great Hall, she heard someone scream her name behind her. She startled and turned around, ready for a lunatic with ginger curls to tackle her to the ground. To her surprise and immense relief, it wasn't Rose who was approaching.
Roxanne Weasley ran at her, corkscrew curls waving and flying around her head like Medusa, muddy olive green eyes wide with panic and face flushed. She grabbed Lily by her shoulders, then with a paranoid expression that bordered comical, looked around frantically. She pulled Lily aside, head still bobbing around like an owl's.
"You need to come with me," Roxy said urgently, pulling Lily along beside her, away from the Great Hall.
"What happened?" Lily exclaimed. She had a horrible feeling she already knew.
"Dominique's telling everyone this horrible rumor about you," she replied, giving her a sorry look. "I doubt anyone believes it, but Rosie and Scorpius aren't denying it, so it looks really bad. Has anyone said anything to you?"
Lily's breath felt like it had been sucked out of her lungs. It wasn't a horrible rumor. It was the horrible truth. He had told Rose, just as she'd feared. And if she knew her family at all, she knew that Rose told Dom, and Dom told everyone. She felt a horrible sinking feeling.
"No. N-no! No one's said anything to me!" Lily's voice hardly ever changed tone, but in her panic, it had gone up about two octaves and was wavering all over the place. Her eyes were filling with tears and she couldn't stop it. Her immediate reaction made Roxanne grow wary.
"Wait. It's not true… is it?"
"Is what not true?" Lily looked away, anywhere but into Roxy's truth-seeking eyes. Roxy had always been so kind to Lily. Roxy had always been more than just a cousin, but a friend, and the closest thing she'd ever had to a sister. And now… well, no one would ever look at her the same. And her whole family would know. And they would all take Rose's side.
"Don't fuck around with me, Lily." Roxy's voice was deploring, and Lily couldn't stand it. Her grip on Lily's shoulders grew tighter with her silent accusation.
"It's true," Lily finally responded after a tense silence. Roxy's grip released her shoulders.
"Oh… oh, Lily," Roxy said. She didn't sound angry. She didn't sound betrayed. She sounded… disappointed. The feeling that resulted in Lily was worse than she thought. Her tears spilled over. Luckily, Roxy saw those tears and pulled her in for a tight hug.
"I just like him, okay? I know it's stupid but I just needed him to know… just once," Lily sobbed.
"It's alright," Roxy crowed, stroking her hair. "Come on. Let's get some food." They fixed Lily back up, smudging her eyeliner back out and fluffing her hair so that she looked good as new. They linked arms and strolled into the Great Hall, like it was normal, like nothing had happened, like nothing was wrong.
Lily could feel eyes on her, and it took every ounce of strength to keep her chin up and her expression bored. She pretended like it was any normal Tuesday, like she was Little Lily, bored of the daily grind and all it entailed.
She didn't look over to where Dom and Rose usually sat. She didn't look over to where… at the Slytherin table. She sat across from Albus and beside Roxanne. They sat close together and didn't look anywhere around them. Albus gave her an assuring smile, a smile that said I'm on your side.
She wondered when the other shoe was going to drop.
Soon enough, it did, but not in the way she expected.
"Excuse me, may I have everyone's attention please?" Headmistress McGonagal announced at the podium. Loud talking immediately ceased, dying down to the occasional hushed whisper that slid across the silence like fog on a lake. Lily felt a chill race down her spine. That little bit of intuition that everyone has, that little bit of intuition that Lily Potter had, niggled at her brain until she was squirming in her seat in discomfort.
"I have some very disheartening news to share with you." Long pause, hard stare around the room. Even as her gaze swept across them, she could've sworn Minerva met Lily's eyes specifically, individually and purposefully. "Early this morning, Counselor Onwudiwe suffered a severe heart attack. She held on today for a couple of hours, but in the end, it was too serious to endure. She passed away, spending her last moments with friends and family at St. Mungo's Hospital."
Lily sat up straight, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. Suddenly her old worries were swept away, replaced by a childlike confusion and wonder that overtook her. Someone she knew was dead. Someone she had sat with, talked with, someone who had helped her pass potions. Someone who had looked at her and possibly cared for her. Nia Onwudiwe was… gone.
She looked away from the Headmistress' face, her eyes watering until she couldn't see. She stared out into space somewhere over Albus' shoulder, tuning out the rest of McGonagall's speech. She couldn't understand… she didn't know why… How could this happen? A heart attack? It seemed… unheard of.
Lily blinked slowly, and found that once her vision cleared, she was looking straight into the faraway eyes of Scorpius Malfoy.
Once her gaze focused, he still didn't look away. His expression was blank. His only response was a slight nod of greeting. Her emotions spiraled away from her, to a place she didn't understand. She felt like she was sinking, sinking away from comprehension. Albus shifted in his seat, and Scorpius disappeared from her line of vision.
McGonagall explained that class was canceled for today, and that it would also be canceled the next day, and Thursday would be the funeral, out by the Great Lake at noon. Students were instructed to take today to rest and remember Onwudiwe as the amazing, talented witch that she was. Lily heeded the advice.
She left the Great Hall before anyone else could, and felt astonished eyes on her. Really? She wanted to shout. A professor dies and you're still caught up in immature drama?
Lily met Albus in the Slytherin common room. They sat in the corner on a love seat, leaning towards each other with a blanket spread over them. Their sadness radiated out from them and mingled between them, like a physical vapor they were surrounded by in a cloud. Scorpius entered the common room and approached them. Lily straightened a bit, but mostly stayed near Albus, still somewhat afraid.
Was he angry? He didn't seem angry.
"Are you okay?" Scorpius asked, not even pretending to look at Albus. The question was clearly for Lily, and Lily alone.
"No. Are you?" she replied. She couldn't help it, the wide-eyed vulnerability, and shakiness of her voice. The adoration.
"No," he agreed. He nodded to Albus who nodded back, and then he left, disappearing up the staircase steps.
The best Lily had in terms of funeral attire was her skimpy black dress with black wool tights underneath and a black hoodie zipped up over it. She examined herself in the mirror and pouted. She looked… bad. Trashy. Not to mention depressing – too much black, even for a funeral. Which was an ironic thought for Lily, since she wore black pretty much all the time.
She dug around in her trunk, but most of the contents were just dirty clothes and nicer outfits she never wore, folded up and crushed to the corners. She thought she might have the modest navy dress her mum had given her for her birthday last June somewhere around here, but she had a feeling it would only be in there if Ginny had packed it while she wasn't looking. And if she knew her mum at all, she had packed it while she wasn't looking.
Lily remembered holding up the heavy blue fabric made of silk chiffon with polyester lining, peering at the long sheer sleeves that cuffed at the wrists, knee-length skirt, and jewel neckline. But Lily didn't know any of these details. She just thought it looked too fancy for any place she'd be going, and if she did wear it, she'd accidentally ruin it somehow. It wasn't her style. It looked like a dress someone sophisticated and feminine would wear, like Victoire or Molly. Not Lily.
But now that she needed it, it had disappeared.
She glanced at the clock. 11:42 am. She was running late.
Someone knocked at the door and she yelled for them to come in. Roxy walked in, looking like a lava lamp. Slowly, Lily's eyes focused in on her and widened. Roxanne Weasley wore a traditional Congolese liputa, a strikingly vibrant patterned material of bright yellow and orange. Her hair was wrapped up in a matching scarf. She looked reminiscent of a young Nia Onwudiwe. The sight made Lily's eyes fill with tears.
Roxy seemed to know what Lily was thinking because she looked down at her outfit sheepishly and asked, "Is it too much?" She looked beautiful but sad. Her olive eyes were glistening. Lily shook her head, unable to say anything else. "Are you looking for something?"
Thus began a two-man search for her navy dress. Ten minutes later Roxy pulled it out from under Lily's trunk – how it got there, she had no clue. She quickly changed, tugged on her black converse, and applied waterproof mascara before they left for the funeral.
Nia's sister gave a tearful speech that left not a dry eye in the crowd. Words about her early life, her spirit, her clairvoyance, her talent, her compassion. She segued into a more philosophical line of thought, reminding everyone how short life is and how important it is to embrace each moment. It was all so cliché, but Lily found herself holding back tears. Holding back tears to the point that she had to tilt her head up and force herself not to blink. She hated crying in front of people.
Isa Williams, née Onwudiwe, finished her eulogy with, "I loved Nia more than anyone. If you love someone, you make sure they know. Nia, we love you, and we'll miss you so much." Her face scrunched up in pain and she exited the stage into the arms of her husband. She was swallowed up by his large frame, holding her close. Lily was entranced by the image. Love. Reciprocated.
She didn't hear him – she didn't need to. He didn't have to say anything. She felt his presence before he made himself known. Instinctively, she turned and saw Scorpius had moved silently to stand beside her at the back of the crowd. He wasn't looking at her. In fact, he wasn't even standing that close to her. He could've easily come to that spot to stand next to the pimply underclassman to his left, but it was all too deliberate for that. His gaze was also fixed on Isa Williams and her husband. His eyes had that same longing she felt. She wondered who he longed for.
Finally, his eyes met hers and he offered a pained smile. His cheeks were flushed pink, ruddy despite the warm weather. He side-stepped, his hand brushing hers. She looked away, embarrassed, her whole body beating with her pulse. They stood there for a long heated moment, not quite looking at each other. Lily felt desperate again. She hated feeling desperate. She held her breath, lowering her expectations to absolutely nothing.
All along, she'd been expecting things to happen. When they hung out, she expected him to show up every night. When they were alone in his room, she expected him to say he liked her too. To kiss her back, not push her away, but pull her closer. She expected him to break it off with Rose.
But hadn't he? He and Rose were over. What did that mean for her?
Lily decided to expect nothing from this moment, this moment beside him at the back of a funeral, where she felt like her whole body was buzzing from being near him. Because every time she had expected, she had been disappointed.
Her chest began to flush as his hand brushed hers. It was an accident, she told herself, an accidental brush. Don't think anything of it. Besides, this had to be the most inappropriate setting for Scorpius to make a move on her. Even if it was just to hold her hand—
His pinky looped through hers, and she jumped at the contact. She pulled away without really meaning to, like she had touched a stovetop. She didn't know what his reaction was, she didn't dare look at him. She couldn't hear what the pastor was saying; she felt like her ears were stuffed with cotton.
Their hands brushed again, and this time, she let his fingers entwine with hers. It felt foreign. It felt… really weird. It felt really good.
Lily couldn't stop all of the thoughts rushing through her head. She was confused beyond reason. She needed reason. She tugged on his hand and led him out of the crowd. He seemed confused at first, but acquiesced. Because they were at the back of the crowd, only a couple of people turned to give them dirty looks, and only momentarily. They were ditching a funeral, after all.
They hustled across a stretch of grass until they reached the courtyard. It was empty, entirely empty, and it felt apocalyptic. She stopped in front of a bench and awkwardly told him to sit. Some semblance of control. He sat.
She lagged a second to sit beside him, and for a moment, she was looking down at him and he was looking up at her. He looked nervous, but hopeful. There was the slightest ghost of a smile on his face. Anticipation. It was adorable. For a moment, she imagined spreading her legs and straddling him on the bench, pulling his head towards her and kissing him without regret. With no one else in the picture.
You need reasoning! she reminded herself, pushing away the fantasy. She sat beside him, her knees facing straight forward. Slowly, she turned herself to face him. Their knees almost touched. She clasped her hands in her lap and took a deep breath, suddenly terrified to meet his eyes. She could feel his eyes on her as clearly as she had felt his pinky link through hers earlier, but this time, she couldn't stop it... or further it.
"Hey," she said shyly, finally raising her eyes to meet his. His hair was scruffy from their spontaneous exit.
"Hey," he replied. "How are you?"
"I'm… okay. I'm… confused."
"Oh." Beat of silence. Scorpius' eyes trailed away before awkwardly meeting hers again. "Is it because of…?"
"Yeah." Lily sighed.
"I just… wanted to tell you something that I couldn't tell you over the weekend."
"Well, I'm all ears," she said, smirking. She scooted forward, and their knees touched. Warmth radiated between them, and neither pulled away. Their gazes were locked.
"In that case…" Scorpius laughed, rubbing his neck in the ultimate gesture of anxiety. "I do… like you."
"You like me?" Lily bit her lip. She tried to stop herself from smiling cockily. She wanted to laugh and shout "I knew it!" But she held back. She didn't want to drive him away just when she had pulled him in.
His only response was a nod and a shy smile.
Once the initial excitement had faded away in the following silence, she remembered her questions. Questions about the break up. Before she could ask, he took her hand and stole her breath in the process with a single sentence.
"I really want to kiss you."
Lily's throat went dry and her panties went wet. Well, metaphorically.
"Then do it," she choked out. Sweat was gathering in her armpits in her anxiety, but even greater than that anxiety was her exhilaration.
Scorpius swiftly followed her instructions, placing a hand around her neck and pulling her mouth to his. Their heads tilted and their lips met, softly and sweetly. It was a long kiss, slow and tender, with an undeniable building heat. Lily squirmed, desperate for more.
Lily became bold in her arousal, running her hands up his thighs and around his waist, where they only rested a moment before trailing back down and up his thighs, teasingly close to his crotch. Their long kiss finally broke and he let out a gasp, pulling her back in more aggressively. They kissed harder and the tone changed entirely when he bit her lip. Hmmm, does he do that a lot? Lily wondered, smiling through the kiss.
His fingers raked through her hair passionately before reaching down and pulling her legs over his. He stroked her thighs and sucked her tongue into his mouth. He was… amazing. Lily was drowning in absolute bliss.
Lily wasn't sure how long they had been making out heavily and petting each other before he started murmuring sweet nothings to her, you're beautiful, so good, oh baby, oh baby, oh fuck…
It didn't escape Lily that they were out in public, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"I've wanted this for so long…" he murmured between kisses, his hand grasping the skirt of her dress desperately. Lily panted hard during a break in their kisses, then accepted his mouth again as, heavy-lidded, he leaned forward insistently. They shared several more long kisses, slowing down a bit and sobering from the initial zealous hunger.
"How long?" she whispered. Their noses brushed together and he smiled, his eyes still closed from their kisses. His lips were puffy and red from kissing. Kissing me, Lily thought excitedly.
"Just… a while…" he said, leaning back forward to kiss her again. She resisted, pulling away and her smile dropping a bit.
"Really?" she asked, curious and sort of skeptical. "How long, though?"
"What are you asking? I like you and I've wanted to kiss you," he said, shrugging, his smile gone. His brows were furrowed in confusion. Why did Lily suddenly look hostile? When had everything flipped upside-down?
Lily was silent for a while, suddenly unable to look him in the eye. Realization had dawned on her, too late.
"Who broke up with who?" Lily asked, afraid she already knew the answer. Scorpius' mouth gaped before he pressed his mouth into a line. They were still cherry-red.
"Rose broke up with me," he finally replied, his voice flat. Lily shook her head, dropping her head into her hands.
"I'm so stupid. Fuck!" Lily exclaimed, making him jump at the loud exclamation.
"Wait—," Scorpius started as she drew away from him. He reached for her, but she was already walking away, her shoulders hunched.
Rose promised herself she would take the high road.
She wouldn't scream at Lily, or drag her nails across her skin in long, fast scratches, or pee in her shampoo, or create even more gossip about her. She would be a lady, dignified and humble, and turn the other cheek.
"It makes you look weak," Dominique told her the morning after the funeral, looking vaguely into a compact mirror she held up to her eyeball. "You need to retaliate."
Roxanne's silence was obvious, but ignored.
"I don't think I need to do that," Rose said breezily, hoping Dom wouldn't push the matter. She hated conflict, and it was part of the reason why she wouldn't allow herself to even look at Lily sitting about nine seats down Gryffindor table, alone and more picking at a salad than eating it, black hoodie zipped up to her chin.
Rose didn't know what hurt more, seeing Lily or seeing Scorpius. It was hard to even tell when Lily was upset, so she just looked like her normal self, all in black, hardly smiling, shoulders slumped in the casual manner of an introvert, hands stuffed in pockets and expression bored. She looked that way yesterday at breakfast, at breakfast the day before that, at every single breakfast since third grade and even today, she looked the same. Unbothered.
Scorpius looked normal, to anyone who didn't know him. But Rose could see his eyes mostly stuck to the ground, his lips tightening whenever he saw Rose. But he still laughed it up with his friends at the Slytherin table, and Albus had taken no offense with Scorpius and his wrongdoings and was sitting with him there now. That also hurt. And it made her wonder if that meant him and Lily were on good terms, too. Wouldn't Albus be angry with Scorpius for breaking his little sister's heart? If not, then wouldn't that mean her heart was actually not broken? Did the usual unbothered persona of Lily mean she was actually, really, truly… unbothered?
At least her worst fear hadn't come to fruition – coming to school and seeing Lily and Scorpius holding hands down the hallway, stealing kisses when they could. They weren't even sitting together or talking, thank Merlin. Rose didn't know how she'd be able to handle that. It hurt to even look at them separately; seeing them together might break her completely.
Rose found herself sobbing uncontrollably at the front of the funeral procession yesterday, but not entirely for the deceased. She reckoned that was allowed. She was experiencing a lot of heartbreak.
In the darker parts of her sweet mind, she imagined Lily rubbing Scorpius' crotch and him guiltily enjoying it. She wondered if his guilt turned him on. The wrongness of it. She also remembered all the times he started something with her and she stopped him, too tired from a long day or wanting to study instead. Was this her fault? Had she driven him into another woman's arms? All of these musings just made her cry harder.
"I'm going back to bed. I have a headache," Rose said, getting up and slinging her school bag over her shoulder.
Roxanne and Dominique gaped up at her, confusion and shock written across their features. It was almost comical. It was almost worth the work she would have to make up later.
"You're skipping class?" Dominique asking, snapping her compact shut.
"No. I'm sick. I'm taking a sick day." Rose snatched up a banana and left before they could say anything else.
She paused when she saw that Lily was also getting up at that moment. Her hair was scraped back in a cute messy bun, tendrils of curly baby hairs falling around her face. Lily pushed them aside, wiping her nose very unattractively while doing so. Lily never cared what people thought. It was something Rose had always envied her for.
Rose followed after her, keeping her head up as best as she could. High road, high road, high road. But she felt eyes on them, especially… she looked over, and there he was, looking up from his breakfast. Scorpius, staring at them. But with a jolt she realized, no, he wasn't staring at them. He was staring at Lily. She lurched upright, suddenly angrier than she'd been when he confessed what he'd done.
She was only steps behind Lily. She could cover the distance in two long strides.
Rose grabbed Lily's shoulder, hoping to spin her around forcefully in an act of intimidation. However, Lily was light and hollow, spinning away from her and out of her reach, like a flighty bird. Lily's eyes were piercing on hers, and Rose wondered if it was too late to just walk away. Now more eyes were on them, watching in anticipation of what she would do. She knew if she slapped Lily, they'd probably like it. Her fellow students wouldn't blame her.
Even with all of the drama and sadness of the funeral, people had buzzed about the Scorpius affair. Rose had heard whispers, name-calling. To them, Lily was a skank and a homewrecker. Everyone had loved Hogwart's golden couple, and Lily was the bitch who had torn them apart. It didn't matter that Scorpius gave in, or even that he reciprocated. In their eyes, Lily had done this. All of it.
"I hope you're happy," Rose finally said, her voice low and gravelly and filled with a fury she had never heard in herself before. Lily was visibly surprised by this. It gave her a sense of satisfaction to catch her off guard.
"Well," Lily's voice was shaking, holding back an emotion Rose couldn't place, "I'm not."
Lily whipped around and left, leaving Rose in the dust. It was all very anticlimactic, and didn't even last a minute. Rose was gaping, feeling even worse than before. Wasn't she supposed to feel better? Had she even made any impact with Lily? What had she been trying to accomplish?
So much for the highroad. Now she looked like an idiot, standing there, stunned, while whispers swelled around her. She clenched her fists.
Rose didn't hate people, but when she did, it was few and far between. And in that moment, with Scorpius' eyes following the small redhead out of the Great Hall, she hated Lily.
