I don't own anything except for my OCs.

Act 1

The scene takes place at the Smith household. We see Steve and Zoey watching TV.

"We now return to Digimon vs. Pokemon" the TV announced.

(TV Cutaway)

The scene was dark and rainy. We see Red with his Charizard X facing off...Tai and his WarGreymon.

"Tell me...do you bleed?" Tai asked.

"..." Red does not give him a response.

"A quiet guy eh? I guess I win. Get him WarGreymon!" Tai shouted as his Digimon attacked Charizard X, but the Pokemon used Blast Burn and it creates a huge explosion.

(TV Cutaway Ends)

"Steve, did you know that Bandai is attempting to make a Digimon Go?" Zoey asked.

"I don't know about that. Where did you hear it?" Steve asked.

"People Magazine" Zoey answered.

"I see" Steve answered.

"Hey guys, you're not going to believe this!" Mark shouted as he entered the Smith household.

"What is it Mark?" Steve asked.

"Roger is throwing an open land paintball war" Mark answered.

"What is that?" Zoey asked.

"It means that we are going to be playing paintball everywhere here in Langley Falls. This idea was inspired from the show Community" Mark explained.

"Who would want to do that?" Steve asked.

"You would and so will I" Adaline said as she appeared.

"Hi Adaline, I didn't know you were interested in paintball" Zoey said.

"Paintball? Are we going somewhere?" Jeff asked as he and Hayley walked down, while Hayley was holding on to baby Mary, who is sleeping.

"I don't know about paintball. It's not safe for a baby to join" Hayley added.

"It says here that they have a special play area for babies while the big kids like us play" Mark explained.

"Wait a second, who's running this tournament?" Hayley asked.

"This guy named Roger" Mark answered.

"Oh, so now I'm just some guy" Roger appeared as he wore an army uniform.

"Roger, what are you doing here? Why would you host this sick tournament?" Zoey asked.

"This tournament isn't sick. It's called excitement. Look, I promise that nobody will die. If you do, sue me!" the alien said as he looked at the audience.

"Did you say something about a paintball war?" Stan asked as he walked down the stairs.

"Hang on. I need to put Mary in her crib" Hayley said as she went upstairs.

"Ooh, paintball sounds fun" Klaus said as he arrived as well.

"Stan, I don't know. What if it's boring?" Francine asked as she went downstairs as well to the living room.

"Okay I need everyone to shut the hell up!" Roger shouted. "I'm sorry. Look, you either join or you don't! The winner gets a fabulous prize! It's fun. I got permission from the mayor of Langley Falls to have this tournament everywhere in Langley Falls."

"What did you do?" Stan asked.

(Flashback)

Roger is seen talking with the interim mayor, who is a guy with a blue suit and tie, of Langley Falls.

"Now that Lucy is gone and hopefully she won't be back anytime soon, I was wondering if you can let me host this all-out paintball war in all of Langley Falls. It's going to be fun. It's survivor of the fittest" Roger suggested.

"On two conditions: I want in and I want your Pecan Sandies" the mayor said.

(Flashback Ends)

"For a moment, I thought it was Lucy you had to beg, but then again she's gone, so that's a relief" Steve said.

"Who's Lucy?" both Mark and Adaline asked.

"Trust me: that bitch almost destroyed our relationship. You honestly don't want to know" Zoey answered.

"Anyways! The point is the tournament is tomorrow and all is welcome, but babies aren't welcome" Roger said.

(Cutaway)

We see Stewie Griffin reading this story.

"What the deuce?! You imbecile! I have the perfect tools and I'm denied!" Stewie complained as he shoots his laptop with his ray gun.

(Cutaway Ends)

Later that night, Mark was about to go to sleep, until he sees Adaline in the bathroom.

"Hey babe, aren't you getting ready for bed?" Mark asked.

"I'll go to sleep in a bit" Adaline explained as Mark left and she puts on some black paint lines on her face. "It's time to show the world that I'm not Fluttershy, but really the biggest ass-kicker ever existed!"

We see Zoey sitting on her bed as she holds up a paintball gun. However, she is dozing off while she watches for anymore who attempts to attack her.

"I can't sleep. I don't want to be eliminated…" Zoey lies back on her bed and goes to sleep.

"I wonder what the prize is" Mary asked as the scene shifts to Hayley's room.

"Roger said something about the prize being awesome. I hope it is. Otherwise, I'll ban him from babysitting you for the rest of his life" Hayley explained as she tucks her daughter into bed.

The next day, all the residents of Langley Falls were ready for the biggest paintball match in Langley Falls.

"Good luck and good painting" Roger announced as everyone started to run quickly and hide behind buildings.

Roger is watching through the window of a building as Mary was inside playing with her blocks. There were other babies there as well.

"Uncle Roger, can I have some apple juice?" Mary asked.

"Here, have a soda" Roger hands her a can of Pepsi.

"I think I'll pass" Mary leaves.

Stan shoots his friends Dick and Jackson on their backs with yellow paint.

"Yes! I'm Stan the man! Don't trend on me!" he laughs as six people wearing green masks and exterminator clothing show up.

"Yikes!" he runs away quickly.

"Stan, what about me?!" Francine shouted as she runs with Stan as well.

"Okay, we haven't eliminated anyone, but I'm scared" Jeff said.

"Hayley, we should put our superhero costumes" Steve said.

"We can't or else we will be disqualified" Hayley refused.

"This is not going to end well. Who are those scary 6?" Zoey demanded as the camera pans to the 6 people removed their masks for a moment and were revealed to be…Toshi, Lindsay, Barry, Bethany, Snot, and Lana.

End of Act 1

Act 2

We see Steve, Zoey, Mark, Adaline, Jeff, and Hayley hiding behind a fort.

"Commander Steve reporting, I report, Commander Steve is reporting" Steve said as he calls on his walkie talkie.

"Steve, we're right next to each other" Zoey said.

"I know. I just like practicing" Steve reassured.

"Guys, I think we need to split up" Hayley suggested.

"Babe's right, you guys" Jeff agreed.

"Where should we go?" Adaline asked Mark.

"I don't know. We're going to need to camouflage" Mark suggested. "Do you have any animals that can protect us, you know, like chameleons?"

"Oh that's a great idea! That idea would sure work IF I'M FLUTTERSHY!" Adaline screamed.

"Gee, you don't have to raise your voice" Mark said.

"I'm sorry. I just get tired of being called Fluttershy" Adaline apologized.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too" Mark said.

"So Hayley, what's the idea?" Adaline asked, but both Steve and Zoey and Mark and Adaline are gone.

"Run!" Mark shouted as Toshi and Lindsay were in front of them and attempted to shoot red paint, but they escaped.

"(Imaimashī, karera wa nigemashita) damn, they got away" Lindsay cursed.

"(sorera no hito wa daredeshita) who were those guys?" Toshi wondered.

Later, Stan and Francine shot his neighbor Buckle and his wife Sharri with yellow paint as they were outside the grocery store.

"We did it Francine! This is awesome!" Stan cheered.

"Thank God I've paid so much attention to your practice on shooting with the CIA" Francine commented, only for someone to shoot blue paint on her.

"NO!" Francine cried.

"Who would do such a thing?!" Stan growled as the camera reveals to be…Klaus who did it!

"(Laughs evilly) now who's laughing now?" the goldfish laughs, but someone shoots green paint on his fin.

"(Gasp) it's someone who hates Germany! I shall avenge myself!" he shouted as he is out of the contest.

"Like that dear" it was Mark who shot the paint at the goldfish.

"Like this" Adaline showed him as she shoots blue paint at…Lisa Silver.

"(Screams) my beautiful clothes!" Lisa shouted.

"Exactly" Mark laughs.

"I need to burp" Adaline panicked as she belches quietly, but Barry and Bethany with masks show up.

"Game over" Barry said as he shoots red paint.

"Let's get out of here" Mark ordered as he and Adaline ran in the nick of time.

"Where are you, mystery person who eliminated my wife?" Stan demanded as he saw Bullock, but quickly hid.

"Oh crap, it's my boss. This is going to be awesome" he cheered quietly as he attempts to shoot red paint at him, but someone did it for him.

"No! I'm not supposed to have anything red on me! Why God, why?!" Bullock kneeled down and cried.

"Damn, I should have gotten him" Stan complained, but someone shoots blue paint on his butt.

"NO! I lost! I brought shame to my family" Stan starts bawling to the ground.

The person who did it was…Mrs. Wilson.

"Babe, that was amazing! You got the favorite to win!" Mr. Wilson cheered.

"I love seeing him cry. It's funny" Kat giggled, but was shot with pink paint.

"NO!" Michael cried as someone shot green paint at him.

"Run!" it was Steve who shot him.

"Steve, those were my parents!" Zoey complained.

"Babe, it's funny. They don't even know that was us" Steve explained as they went inside Pearl Bailey High School.

"Freeze!" a mysterious man pointed a white loaded paintball gun at them.

"Please don't shoot! Please don't shoot!" Zoey starts to bawl like crazy.

"Oh relax, I would never shoot a sweet young lady" the mystery man said.

"Wait a minute, Principal Lewis, is that you?" Steve asked.

"Yes it's me and I got you" Lewis cackled as he shoots white paint at him.

"NO!" Steve cried.

"Steve!" Zoey panicked, but was shot with the white paint.

"(Laughs) I'm going to win that prize! I'm unstoppable!" Lewis cheered, only for Barry and Bethany to knock him down and shoot red and blue paint at him.

"That's for beating Steve and Zoey and it should have been us!" Bethany goes crazy shooting paint at the principal.

"Thanks Barry and some girl" Steve said.

"Hey Steve and Zoey! Have you guys met my girlfriend? She's so cute" Barry asked.

"I'm Bethany. Nice to meet you" Bethany greeted.

"I'm Zoey and this is Steve. It's nice to meet you" Zoey greeted as well.

"Sorry for your loss" Barry apologized.

"That's all right. I'm sure Hayley and Jeff, Mark and Adaline, and the rest of the friends got this" Steve commented.

Meanwhile, we see Hayley and Jeff hide behind the golf course from Oh Baby.

"Babe, we are not going to be naked again!" Hayley snapped.

"Babe, I promise we're not going to be naked this time" Jeff reassured.

However, Stan lifts up the mill.

"Oh hi Mr. S. Listen, we need all your help" Jeff suggested, but Stan shoots red paint at his son-in-law.

"Why Mr. S, WHY?!" Jeff cried.

"I want to win!" Stan shouted. "That's for eliminating my wife and me!"

"Mr. S, that wasn't me!" Jeff shouted.

"Wait, that wasn't you? Well, in that case" Stan shoots red paint at Hayley.

"Dad, you already lost! So I'm not done yet" Hayley snapped, but Jeff stupidly shoots blue paint at his wife.

"Now we're equal" Jeff and Stan laugh, but Hayley frowns.

Meanwhile, Roger was watching all the action as he finished changing Mary's diaper. The losers joined inside Roger's loser resort, watching the rest of the competitors shoot paintballs.

"I can't believe we lost so soon" Hayley said.

"Hi mommy. Sorry you lost" Mary apologized.

"It's all right. It was fun" Hayley said as she picked up her daughter.

"Thank God you're here Hayley. I need to go somewhere" Roger said.

"Roger, where are you going?" Jeff asked.

"Something that's nobody's concern" Roger said as he disappears.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey joined with Barry and Bethany and were met with Snot and Lana and Toshi and Lindsay.

"Hi Steve and Zoey, this is my girlfriend Lana" Snot introduced.

"All right Snot!" Steve cheered.

"Nice to meet you" Zoey and Lana said in unison.

"(Nani ga yoi yūjin anata ga imasu) what good friends you are" Lindsay said.

"(Mochiron, karera wa watashitachi o rikai shite imasen) of course they don't understand us" Toshi joked.

"I have no clue on what you said, but it's so nice to meet you" Steve said. However, Snot, Lana, Barry, Bethany, Toshi, and Lindsay were shot with blue paint.

"NO!" the friends shouted in unison.

(Evil laughter)

"I'm back!" the mystery person left as he ran quickly.

Meanwhile, Mark and Adaline eliminated Vince Chung at the park.

"Oh man, I was so close" Vince said. "Good job."

"Let's see who's left" Adaline suggested as they looked up in the scoreboard. It reads that three competitors were left.

"It's use and who's the other guy?" Adaline wondered.

"What other guy?" Mark asked as he…was pointing his paintball gun at her.

"Mark, what are you doing?" Adaline asked.

"I don't like this anymore than you do. It's the survival of the fittest" Mark said.

"You're going down" Adaline said as she pointed her weapon at Mark as well.

End of Act 2

Act 3

The scene shifts to Mark and Adaline standing there while pointing at each other. However, they shot…apples from the ground.

(Laughing)

"That was a good joke" Adaline laughed.

"It was" Mark said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Hi guys. Mark Adaline, this is Lana, Bethany, and Lindsay, Snot's, Barry's, and Toshi's girlfriend" Steve introduced the ladies to the couple.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you" Adaline said.

"Same here" Mark said.

"Dodge!" Zoey shouted as they went down.

"I'm going to win" the anonymous voice is heard.

"Guys, it's nice to see you all, but we have to go" Mark said as he and Adaline left. They went to go inside Pearl Bailey High School.

"You're going down losers" the mystery man taunted.

"RUN!" Mark and Adaline ran upstairs as they shot paintballs along the way. However, Mark tripped.

"Adaline, my ankle is hurting! Babe, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go on by yourself" Mark said.

"Mark, there's no way I'm leaving you. We're going to win this together" Adaline refused.

"Babe, we don't have much of a choice. You're a strong girl and I couldn't be much more proud. I love you and I believe in you. Kick the mystery guy's ass and win that mysterious prize" Mark said.

"I have an idea" Adaline said as she carried Mark on her back.

"I weigh more than you though" Mark said.

"It's fine. I carried a 400 pound item before. Keep in mind I'm a fairy too, you know" Adaline said as they ran together and went inside the cafeteria.

"That makes no sense, but I'll take your word" Mark smiled.

"Stop right there, you have to go through me" Roger arrives.

"Oh no! We're trapped. There's no way out. We're the last three standing. We have to win this" Adaline said.

"It's over Fluttershy" it was revealed to be…Roger.

"ROGER!" the couple shouted in unison.

"That's right" Roger said as he shoots orange paint at Adaline, but quickly escape via The Matrix.

"Oh yeah?" Adaline shoots her pink paintball via Wanted as the paint went spiraling around, but stopped within the last second.

"Hasta la vista, My Little Pony" Roger attempts to shoot her via Terminator.

"Not if I can help it" Adaline said as she and Roger flies and shoots paint at each other via Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

"Not now Mr. Boner" Mark complained as he sat and watched his girlfriend in awe.

"We have to get out of here" Adaline said as she carried Mark with her, but there's no escape as the doors inside Pearl Bailey High is locked.

"(Laughs) there's no escape no! You guys lose and I win!" Roger cackled.

"I don't think so" Mark said as he kicked his shoe to open the door.

"No escape. You guys are tired and I will win at my own tournament" Roger said.

"You leave her alone!" Mark threatened as he pointed a black paintball gun at him.

"Thanks man" Roger takes the gun and shoots paint at him.

"NO!" Adaline freaked out. "You killed Mark, you stupid son of a bitch!"

"Babe, I'm not dead. It's paintball, remember?" Mark said.

"Shh, just play along Mark" Adaline blinked at him.

"(Laughs) good luck escaping Pinkie!" Roger taunted as he releases a bomb with green paint with 15 seconds on the clock ticking.

"Run!" Mark quickly limps to safety and he falls down.

13

12

11

10

"I'm not going down!" Adaline shouted as in slow motion, she jumps out of the school to safety.

(Laughs) it's too late, hey wait a minute, how the hell am I still here?!" Roger shouted, but…

3

2

1

(BOOM)

The entire school was covered with paint.

"NO! I have green paint all over my ass! No!" the alien cried.

"I won. I actually won!" Adaline cheered.

"You did it babe!" Mark carried and spun his girlfriend around, but quickly stopped as his ankle was still hurting.

"Thanks Mark. I did it" Adaline said.

Later, it was the ceremony back at the Smith backyard. Roger, fully cleaned up and wearing a suit and tie, arrives.

"We have the winner of the paintball tournament: Adaline O'Brien!" Roger announced.

(Cheering)

"Way to go Adaline!" Mark cheered as he was wearing crutches.

"Who knew a girl with a quiet personality like Fluttershy would win this?" Steve wondered.

"And now, your prize" Roger announced as she was given…a year supply of Pecan Sandies, a lifetime membership to the Paintball Club in Langley Falls, and $500.

"That's it! I thought it was something awesome" Adaline said.

"What's wrong with Pecan Sandies? I got tired of them. I want to eat some turtles" Roger said as he munched on the chocolate turtles candy.

"I guess I'll take the $500 and give away the Pecan Sandies, but the lifetime membership I'll hold on to it. I bet Mark and I would have our dates there more often" Adaline accepted them after all. People were seen leaving.

"But face it, I got a better prize: meeting Steve's friends and their girlfriends. I'd say we, let's see here" Adaline counts with her fingers. "I'd say we quintuple date."

"WHAT?!" the other couples asked in unison.

"I'm down" Steve said as Zoey nodded.

"Pick a date, any date" Snot asked.

"Not too soon" Lana said as she and Snot kiss.

"(Watashi wa hontōni Fluttershy ga sukidesu. Kanojo wa sutekina on'nanoko no yō ni omoemasu. Watashi wa kanojo ga Equestria ni sunde ita to omoimashita) I really like Fluttershy. She seems like a nice girl. I thought she lived in Equestria" Lindsay said.

"(Watashi mo sō omoimashita) I thought so too" Toshi commented as well.

"PIZZA PARTY!" Barry and Bethany cheered.

"Steve, I guess your friends aren't losers anyone" Hayley laughed.

"I told you. Just kidding, thanks sis" Steve smiled.

"At least someone from our team won" Zoey smiled as well.

"Zoey, did you try that sneaky bra attack?" Jeff asked.

"It's okay. It wasn't like Murder Games or anything" Zoey asked.

"But the big question is: who's going to clean up all this mess?" Roger asked as all of Langley Falls was covered with paint.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Steve asked as Team Smith and their friends cleaned up minutes later and Langley Falls was fully restored.

"Want to have it next year?" Steve asked Roger.

"I think I'll pass. I think next time, we should do a de-pants tag" Roger suggested.

"I'm down!" Steve cheered, but Zoey shook her head.

"More Pecan Sandies?" Mark asked as he and Adaline are cuddling in Mark's living room.

"Don't mind if I do" Adaline said as she eats the treat.

End of Act 3

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. For the record, I don't support shootings of any kind at all. So please don't freak out about it. Anyways, read and review and have an awesome Labor Day.

P.S. don't try this at home! Also, nobody was killed in the making of the chapter.