Human Realm, Konoha

"Move it, freakish little maggots." Uchiha Madara scowled at the Academy students walking from his classroom. Apparently they felt the persistent need to annoy him even when he had a place to be.

Speaking of...

Hashirama came into the door, looking serious. Well, his eyes were serious. He still had that seemingly permanent, idiotic smile on his face.

"What?" Madara asked, irritated. He didn't like the little pesky annoyances that were children.

His left eyebrow twitched when he saw the worksheets.

Sadistic Hokages and their stupid punishments. I use the Sharingan to teach a kid a lesson about annoying me and I get my chakra sealed off and I have to teach children for two weeks.

"The Hokage has requested our presence," Hashirama said quietly. "Your punishment has been voided after his meeting.

Inwardly, Madara jumped for joy.

Outwardly, Madara followed Hashirama sullenly.

~"~

Technically, Madara was not a shinobi. He didn't go on missions (aside from those dumbass punishments), and he was only free to roam inside or right outside the village. He got paid, as the oldest Uchiha member, but didn't have a seat on the council. That seat belonged to Shisui, as he was the only one who hadn't mysteriously had a mission to do when the time came for an Uchiha to be chosen.

He never entered the council chambers to give personal testimony on how he felt as an Edo Tensei, controlled by Kabuto.

"I felt like I was alive," Madara rumbled. "But I knew I wasn't." He paused, recalling how he knew what had transpired while he was dead. "Breathing felt right, instinctive. But I don't think we could eat, or drink, or taste. We can feel emotionally, but feeling things physically... It's like when something explodes and your hearing's out for a while, but apply that to physically feeling things. And it really isn't necessary to breathe, since I didn't have blood. Or a beating heart."

"How did you break the control of Kabuto?"

Madara blinked.

"I simply severed the link between him as my master, and created my own contract with myself." He frowned. "It took me two decades to think up this plan."

"No wonder you failed," Hashirama said. "You could've been living."

Madara twitched, but did not give into the urge to kill Hashirama.

Easier done than said. Madara had had enough of trying to kill Hashirama.

"This is a delicate situation," Itachi said, startling Madara. The Uchiha had assumed incorrectly that Shisui was sitting there. "With Naruto as an Edo Tensei -"

"What?!" Hashirama looked shocked. "Naruto is an Edo Tensei?! But only Kabuto knew of the -" He stopped. "Kabuto was alone, right, Madara?"

Madara nodded. "He alone controlled me."

"So... All we have to do is find out who truly controls her. Then we can stop her from doing anything her master wishes." The Hokage frowned.

Itachi coughed. "If it is agreeable, perhaps keeping her in a place where one can immobilize her quickly would be the best option."

Madara scowled. The Uchiha compound was far enough away that it would separate her from the village, giving the Uchiha ample time to catch her and immobilize her.

There was a flash of light, and the human form of the Kyuubi stood there.

"Oh, shit."

Madara blinked as every eye turned to him.

The Kyuubi stared at him for a couple minutes, then ignored him and turned to the Hokage.

"Is it true?" His voice was silky, smooth, and dangerous.

"Yes," Hatake nodded. "She's in the ANBU cells."

The Kyuubi vanished.

"Madara, escort the Edo Tensei to your clan building. Hashirama, release his chakra bindings."

Hashirama did as he was told, pressing one of his index fingers to the Senju crest on his wrist and releasing it.

~:~

She sighed, bored.

Neji and Saki were well out of her dull human range - Naruto made no attempt to listen in - and talking. It was kind of annoying, being in the dark.

"Naruto?"

Her head jerked up, and she was at the bars in a flash, a smile on her face. Kurama smiled back at her.

"Kyuu," she said as an exhalation.

"You look terrible," Kurama told her.

"I know," she smiled. "Cracked. Dead."

"Cracked, yes. Dead? No. You look pale, sure. But not dead." Kurama closed his eyes. "What's the bitch's name?"

Naruto hesitated. She had refused to let Naruto say the name aloud.

Naruto had no idea if it would work. She held out her fist. He tapped it with his own.

Kirasaki Shiro.

A flicker passed in Kurama's eyes.

Satisfied, the undead human stopped tapping the bijuu's fist.

"You two look like two lovers, separated by bars."

Kurama scowled. "I haven't seen my beloved jinchuuriki for ten years and you think we're lovers?"

"We're not lovers." Naruto shot Neji an offended look. "But... Um. What happened to -"

"Gaara is fine," Saki said, interrupting her. "He's here in Konoha. There was an informal party." She hesitated. "He probably doesn't know."

"I see." Naruto closed her eyes. "He... Shouldn't. I'll probably be gone by the time he knows, anyway."

Saki bit her lip. Then she sighed.

"Listen up, woman who has Naruto."

Naruto blinked as Saki came closer, using her Sharingan.

"I will find out who you are and what you have done. I won't stop looking. Do you understand me?"

Naruto felt her lips move in the semblance of a smile.

"I look forward to it," her master said.

Saki jerked back as Naruto did, retreating into her cell.

"Naruto -" Kurama whispered, but stopped when Naruto held up a warning hand.

Shiro's presence was in her mind; about five minutes later, she let her hand drop.

"Nothing." She felt relief, falling to her knees. "I just wanted to stay dead. Is that so hard to ask? But then, he had to go and sleep with her, so it's all his fault!" She muttered it low enough that only keen ears would pick it up. "Damn it, Orochimaru! First my friend, and now my life!" She slammed a fist into the wall, it easily caving under it. She meant Sasuke, of course. Now he had a son he probably didn't know about, she'd been alive for ten years and -

She groaned and covered her eyes.

Everything was a big pile of shit. Complications she never wanted.

"If you're thinking about how you didn't want complications, you really shouldn't have died."

Naruto looked up to Saki, who leaned against the wall next to the cell door.

"Tsunade had to complete a shitload of paperwork, cataloging who was who and clearing them for ninja duty again. Shodai-sama's in the village again, and apparently he has a secret steadfast girlfriend - though we're all betting it's Madara, who is the main issue."

Naruto winced. "I stand by what I did."

"You sacrificed your life!" Saki was visibly upset.

"I was dying anyway." Naruto stared at her hands. "He died right behind me, you know."

Saki flinched. "I know. But that doesn't -"

"What do you want me to say, Saki?" Saki blinked at Naruto's harsh tones. "I know that I did something messed up, I truly understand. Reviving that many people -" Naruto paused. "I made a promise to Shikaku-san. He's alive, isn't he?"

"Yes." Saki nodded. "But the other nations don't want people with the power of the Rinnegan at the disposal of Konoha. All they know is that you died. Oh, and the Uzumaki went silent, pretty much - closed its borders. Apparently they don't appreciate their queen not being buried there." Saki scowled. "Can't say I blame them."

"I thought I was going to be burned."

Saki's eyes flashed. "Your DNA would have been useless to revive."

Naruto gave her an insulted look.

"You had a ton of bad tissue. Chakra burns, courtesy of your demon, and your heart was kept together by scarred tissue. Also, your lungs were filled with lots of burned blood. Chakra passageways were, according to Neji, also affected. The lack of Yin chakra did that to you."

Naruto looked impressed. "Wow... And here I was, thinking it was using my chakra that did that."

"It is," Saki said quietly. "It was better than it could have been if you hadn't stayed in your male form. Speaking of, why can't you become one?"

Naruto bit her lip.

"She forbade me," she answered lowly. She hated being trapped in one skin. "When I did it in front of her. She flipped her lid and told me to stay in this form."

"Was it an order?" Saki looked interested.

"Yes," Naruto said quietly.

"You should get a choice!" Saki looked upset.

Naruto snorted. "I'm an Edo Tensei, Saki-chan. I don't get to choose."

Approaching footsteps made Saki look down the hall.

"Well, luckily we'll get to debate that. What are you doing here?"

Naruto strained to listen, but heard only the low tones of a man.

"Oh. Well, Naruto, looks like you get to meet my twin!" Saki opened the cell door.

Cautiously, Naruto stepped out, feeling ANBU appear.

"ANBU?" she asked, frowning. "Why?"

Saki blinked. "Because of Madara. They switch out, of course, but -"

"He shouldn't have to deal with the fear! Kamis above, I die and Baa-chan ignores my death wishes! Kyuu -" Naruto was cut off by Kurama's arm snaking around her neck.

"I didn't kill him. I also never told them that you wished for him to live in peace."

Naruto's fury was palpable. "Kyuubi."

"I am a demon. Plus, I never thought that someone would desecrate your corpse." Kurama's tone took on an edge.

Naruto's glare lost its heat. "I should have remembered that."

"You should have burned her body."

Naruto turned to see Madara - and instantly remembered.

She groaned. "Gods damn me. I should have asked Kurama to kill you." There was a stunned pause. "I just wanted to tell you that -" She forced the memory to the front of her mind. "Izuna misses you."

Kurama's whole body stiffened next to her.

"Whatever," Madara rumbled. "Let's go. You need to hide yourself."

"I can do that, Uchiha." Kurama moved his arm. A hand settled on the small of Naruto's back, who shivered a little. Saki blinked.

"Wow. An Uzumaki look, hey?"

Naruto glanced down. Instead of cracked hands, she had smooth, life-filled hands.

She fisted them and felt the cracks.

"Let's just go," she said, voice cracking.