I don't own anything except for my OCs.
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. We see Hayley, Jeff, and Colleen watching TV.
"We now return to Jeff the Killer visits Candle Cove" the tv announced.
TV Cutaway
"You have...to go...inside" Ms. Laughingstock the ship cackled.
"Make me bitch!" Jeff threatened with his bloody knife.
"I was just kidding! Please don't kill me! I have a family to feed" Ms. Laughingstock leaves while crying.
"Hey come back! I didn't mean that, I swear. I'm sorry! Oh man, for a bunch of scary creepypasta characters, we all have feelings" Jeff said as he looked at the audience.
TV Cutaway Ends
"Thanks so much for inviting me over. After finishing grading coloring pages, I'm so glad to hang out with real friends" Colleen said.
"Anytime, girl, I mean woman, I mean" Jeff stumbled.
"Jeff, it's fine. It's good that we're friends with Mary's teacher" Hayley giggled.
"Your daughter is so amazing! She is a huge pleasure to have in my class" Colleen said.
"Is she still rivals with Tiana?" Jeff asked.
"I'm not sure" Colleen said.
Flashback
"Woohoo! I made the largest tower block ever!" Mary cheered as she stands next to her tower.
"Look at mine!" Tiana shouted as her tower resembles the Eiffel Tower. The other students, except for Candy, look at Tiana's tower with amaze.
"What a female puppy that starts with b!" Candy shouted.
"Good girl" Mary nodded.
Flashback Ends
"What about you? How's life going?" Jeff asked.
"It's fine. I'm currently looking for the love of my life" Colleen said.
"I'm sure you'll find someone" Hayley smiled.
"Hayley, Stan farted in my underwear again. I need to borrow your laundry detergent again" Roger appeared, wearing a bathrobe.
"Roger, get the hell out of here!" Hayley shouted.
"Oops, are you guys having an orgy? My bad! I'll leave you alone" the alien leaves.
"(Farts) that was me this time!" Roger shouted off-screen, while the three made grossed out looks.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey were looking into houses.
"Steve, why are we looking inside this house? We don't have the money yet" Zoey said.
"I know, but I feel that it's not too early to start looking into a house. Besides, boyfriends and girlfriends share houses so I don't see no harm in that" Steve said as Zoey kisses him on the lips.
"Can we live here?" Zoey asked as they entered a house, filled with unicorns.
"Unicorns?" Steve asked.
"I love unicorns! They're adorable. I even went to a petting zoo and encountered one myself" Zoey shows him a photo of her when she was a little girl, taping a caution cone on a donkey, but the words read "Too Adorable to be Banned from Zoo".
"Uh how about this one?" Steve said as the scene shifts to another house with science fiction. However, Zoey throws up on the ground.
"I'm sorry Steve. It's not that I hate this idea, but I get motion sickness and I don't have my medicine" Zoey explained.
"Okay, let's take a break" Steve said as they went back to Stan's SUV, which Steve borrowed.
"I owe you one" Zoey smiled.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Adaline went shopping with Colleen. They were looking for dresses.
"How about this one?" Hayley suggested as she shows Colleen a pink strapless dress.
"I like this one better" Adaline showed her an aqua green dress.
"Ladies, I like them both, but I want this one!" Colleen sees a purple and dark pink dress.
"Perfect!" both Hayley and Adaline awed.
Later, the ladies arrive at a bar.
"Let's find the one true love" Hayley said.
"Hayley, I'm not 21" Adaline warned.
"Still?" Hayley questioned.
"Fine, I'll go" Adaline grumbled.
"I'm sorry. (Sighs) I don't know what to do. I can't ask Steve for a fake ID. I can't go back to jail again" Hayley said.
"You went to jail?!" Adaline was puzzled.
"It was a long time" Hayley said.
"Ladies, it's okay. I rather find my love on my own. I call you if things fail" Colleen suggested.
"Great idea. Call us if things suck" Hayley said as she drops off her friend and drives off.
Later, Colleen sat alone while sipping on a martini. A guy approaches her.
"Hey girl! Why so lonely? You're so cute" he said.
"Thanks!" Colleen smiled.
"Can I see what panties you have?" he laughed, but Colleen slaps him.
"Screw this! I'm out of here!" Colleen calls on her cellphone.
The next day, Colleen, Hayley, and Jeff were drinking at Starbucks.
"It was awful! I couldn't take it anymore" Colleen explained.
"Were guys trying to send you to outer space?" Jeff asked but Hayley frowned. "What?"
"Ugh! I just find guys to be creepy. No offense to you Jeff" Colleen explained.
"None take" Jeff nodded.
"What about any of the dads from Mary's school?" Hayley asked.
"Listen, the reason why I'm not interested on my students' fathers' flirting is that it's not just because it's wrong to seduce married men, but because I like...other kind of people" Colleen explained.
"Oh, I get it! You like aliens!" Jeff said.
"What? No!" Colleen rebutted.
"Sorry, my husband likes to joke with stuff like that" Hayley apologized.
"Wait, so it's not aliens?" Jeff wondered.
"I'm actually talking about women. That's right, I'm a lesbian" Colleen answered. Both Hayley and Jeff's jaws dropped to the ground.
"Babe, my jaw is stuck! Help me" Jeff mumbled as Hayley restores his jaw.
"My turn" Hayley said as Jeff fixes hers.
"Are you guys upset?" Colleen asked.
"Not at all. That's great but I wished that you would have told us earlier" Hayley said.
"It's cool girl! I think I know what will happen" Jeff imagines him in a bedroom with Hayley and Colleen wearing black and red lingerie, respectively, and they make out passionately.
"Come join us babe" both Colleen and Hayley asked Jeff seductively.
"Not happening!" Hayley snapped as Jeff's imagination fades.
"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Jeff stomps his foot three times. "Sorry. Anyways, how can we help?"
End of Act 1
Act 2
(A/E To save time, we see Mark's mom again. The last time we saw her was from Wheel and the Legman ft. The Third Wheel from season 2 and she is voiced by Nicole Kidman by the way.)
Meanwhile, Mark went grocery shopping with his mom Joanne.
"So mom, my boss was kind enough to give me a paid vacation for a month for my hard work. How awesome is that?" Mark asked.
"It is dear" Joanne smiled as she puts milk in the grocery cart. However, she got distracted by...Colleen.
"Oh excuse me, I didn't mean to see you there" Joanne apologized.
"Whoa, you look so...beautiful" Colleen greeted.
"Hmm, isn't that Mary's teacher? I wonder what she's doing here" Mark thought to himself.
"Uh, thanks but I'm kind of leaning towards men, although you look kind of cute" Joanne blushed.
"I'm Colleen. Maybe we should get together?" Colleen takes out a piece of people from her shirt and gives it to Joanne.
"Sure, I like that I guess" Joanne accepts it as she blushes.
"I'll see you" Colleen leaves.
Unbeknownst, Jeff and Hayley were spying.
"OH...MY...GOD!" they shouted in unison.
"Is it me or is it getting hot in here?" Joanne asked as she unbuttons the top of her dress, but her son stops her.
"Mom, what the (bleep) are you doing?!" Mark asked.
"Young man, first of all, I can do whatever I like and second of all, that's 25 cents for using the f-word, and third of all, you're right. I have no idea what's gotten into me" Joanne said as Mark gives her a quarter.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey encountered yet another house.
"Look at this babe. It's perfect. The building is very tall and it has a jacuzzi outside. I like this a lot!" Steve smiled.
"Babe, it looks empty" Zoey said.
"I'm sure we can make the best of it" Steve said.
(Eerie sounds)
"What was that?" Zoey asked in a frightened tone.
"I don't know" Steve said.
"It better not be dogs!" Steve had his weapons taken out.
"Steve, did you brought your weapons along?" Zoey asked.
"I had to. You'll never know what you gonna get" Steve answered.
"Please no more Forrest Gump references, unless you actually brought a box of chocolates with you" Zoey said.
"Got it" Steve agreed.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Adaline were having a conversation at Pizza Overlord.
"Adaline, I think your boyfriend's mom is in love with my daughter's teacher, or is it the other way around, but anywho, I think Colleen found someone" Hayley said.
"Mark hasn't told me anything. Then again, he sweats nonstop when he acts nervous" Adaline said.
Flashback
We see Adaline walking in with a bag of groceries.
"Hey babe, can you help me with…." Adaline stopped as he sees Mark sweating as his whole body is completely soaking.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh" Mark stutters.
"What did you do?" Adaline asked.
"I ate the last slice of cake" Mark said rapidly.
"Mark, that was for you" Adaline smiled.
"Really?" Mark asked.
"NO! You owe me a slice of cake!" Adaline shouted.
Flashback Ends
"He admits that instead of his heart beating like crazy, he gets diarrhea" Adaline added, while Hayley gets grossed out.
"I'm trying to eat girl" Hayley snapped.
"I'm sorry. I bet Mark is not taking the news seriously, huh?" Adaline wondered.
"You should ask him. You're his girlfriend" Hayley suggested.
"You know, I will. Thanks Hayley. Here's some money for the pizza" Adaline said as she leaves.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey are in the jacuzzi, even though there's no water, but they had their clothes lying on the ground.
"Steve, I feel weird being inside this dry hot tub in my undies" Zoey said as she sits clad in a white bra and matching panties with pink lace.
"Hey, I did the same thing with my dad, except the fact that we were attacked by dogs" Steve said as he's clad in whitey tights.
(Eerie sounds)
"Again, what the hell was that?" Zoey hugs Steve.
"Okay, this has got to stopped" Steve said as he stood up. "Come on Zoey."
"Steve, we're in our underwear!" Zoey snapped.
"It's just us two. Besides, our parents knew we're sleeping over at this house just for the night" Steve said.
(Eerie sounds)
"Can we at least play some music?" Zoey suggested.
"Fine" Steve surrendered as Zoey takes out a music player and it plays Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.
"Lady Gaga?" Steve asked.
"Dude, her music kicks ass, okay?" Zoey explained.
"Touche" Steve nodded.
Meanwhile, Mark and his mom were sitting while watching TV.
"Sweetie, can I tell you something?" Joanne asked.
"Sure mom, what is it?" Mark answered.
"Honey, do you love me no matter what?" Joanne asked.
"Mom, I love you no matter what. You're my mom. No matter what you do, I will always love you" Mark smiled.
"Honey, this lady named Colleen is kind of...cute" Joanne said as her face turns red.
"You don't like her. You love her. Mom, just go out with her. You don't need to ask. If she makes you happy, ask her out" Mark nodded.
"Thank you so much for understanding!" Joanne kisses Mark on the cheek. "Can you help me date a girl, considering that you're dating a girl?"
"(Laughs) that's hysterical! Sure mom, I'm more than glad to help" Mark smiled.
Late at night, Steve and Zoey are sleeping together in sleeping bags, still clad in their underwear.
(Eerie sounds)
"Steve, I'm scared. We searched inside this house for hours and nothing seemed to be working" Zoey complained.
"Do you want to go home?" Steve asked.
"I can't. I forgot to tell you my parents are renovating our house" Zoey answered as we see Mr. and Mrs. Wilson...making out with paint all over their clothes.
(Eerie sounds)
"Where's your pistol sword?" Steve asked.
"Somewhere" Zoey answered.
Flashback
We see Cindy Redmond repairing Zoey's weapon.
"I see! The hook is stuck" she said as it's free.
"Cindy, come on! Dinner is ready" her girlfriend Jessica said, off-screen.
"Zoey owers me $100" Cindy laughs as she texts on her cellphone.
Flashback Ends
"Maybe we'll be fine in the morning" Zoey said as she cuddles next to Steve. He touches the strap of his girlfriend's bra, but she slaps him away.
"Wait until your birthday" Zoey said as the couple sleeps, along with the ongoing eerie sounds.
End of Act 2
Act 3
The next day, Joanne is getting ready for her date with Colleen.
"I'm so nervous" she told herself.
We see Colleen pacing back and forth while her class is doing some finger painting.
"I should have called in a personal day" she told herself.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey were finishing their breakfast inside the scary house, still undressed.
"Steve, thank goodness you brought cereal and milk. Otherwise, we could have been starving" Zoey said.
"I learned from last time and this time I came prepared, except for the scary sound again" Steve said.
"That tears it! We're going to face our demons. We faced Dark Elves, the invasion of New York, and a whole lot of shit we faced. Come on let's go! Besides, I have my trusty weapon" Zoey suggested as she pointed her bra to Steve.
"You're going to flash the demon?!" Steve shouted.
"The sword trick, you idiot!" Zoey snapped.
"You know, that trick works 20% of the time, have you noticed that?" Steve asked.
"(Growls) I don't care. Maybe I've made bad guys get boners, but at least they didn't scare me" Zoey said as they followed the eerie sound.
"I know who you are and show yourselves! We're not robbers or thieves! We're just visitors, finding our dream house for our future! If you want to fight us, then show yourselves!" Zoey shouted, but the eerie sound disappears.
"You passed the test" the voice that make the scary sound ended as they found it was a speaker.
"What the hell?" Steve asked as he found a note behind it.
"Dear visitors. Thank you for visiting this abandoned apartment for 30 years. This was meant to keep bad guys away from you. As long as you don't harm society, you are more than welcome to stay and buy for $10,000" Steve reads.
"So all this time, the scary sounds was to eliminate house invaders or robberies?" Zoey asked.
"It looks like it" Steve said.
"Well, thank God we're okay, although there's still something bothering me" Zoey added.
"What's that?" Steve asked.
"Why the hell are we still in our undies?" Zoey asked.
"Because we're hot" Steve said in a seductive tone as they make out on the ground.
"Come on, let's go home. This house is a maybe" Zoey suggested as they got up and she found their clothes. She quickly dons her outfit.
"You're right. Let's go home" Steve said as he got dressed and they drove off.
Meanwhile, we see Joanne entering a restaurant, with Colleen waiting at a table. Unbeknownst, Mark and Hayley were spying them.
"This better work" Mark whispered.
"Good evening, madam" Joanne greeted.
"Good evening, dear" Colleen greeted as well.
"Ladies, what would you like for the evening?" a waiter asked.
"Oh my God, this is working" Mark cheered quietly.
"How old is your mom? Colleen is 29" Hayley wondered.
"40. She had me at 20, just like Zoey. Now be quiet and let me see if my mom is happy" Mark answered. "Where's Jeff?"
"Here I am!" Jeff shouted, but they shushed him. "My bad."
"I don't know if I can find my true love from a guy. All the men has been nothing but creeps. The last boyfriend I dated cheated on me with a teenager" Colleen teared up.
"I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm here and I'll always be here for you" Joanne said as they hold hands together on a table.
"What are you doing?" Colleen asked.
"I think I love you" Joanne answered.
"Wait a minute; I'm supposed to say that" Colleen smiled as the women got up and they...kissed each other. Hayley, Jeff, and Mark smiled in amazed.
"Oh my God, my mom is officialy bisexual! That's so cool" Mark said.
"Wait, so how does...aw screw it, good for you man!" Jeff congratulated.
"I hope the school board would still accept Colleen as a lesbian but still let her keep her teaching job" Hayley wondered.
"She will" the principal showed up with a video camera. Hayley, Jeff, and Mark glared at him.
"It's a dare from my buddy from college. Don't judge!" he leaves with his video camera.
"Shall we go on some dates?" Colleen asked. "In fact, let me ask you something: do you have a job?"
"I'm a stay at home mom while my son works at Dunkin Donuts. My son offered me to work there, but I don't like working with rude customers" Joanne answered.
"I'm looking for a teacher assistant and I want you to work with me. My friend Hayley has a daughter who's in my class" Colleen offered.
"Sure, but let's go on some more dates" Joanne agreed as we see a montage of them at the beach wearing bikinis, having drinks at a bar, attending a women's rights rally, and making out at the park.
Several days later, it was nighttime. Colleen, Hayley, Jeff, Mark, Joanne, and Adaline were talking at the Smith living room.
"So mom, are you and Colleen official, just like Korra and Asami?" Mark asked.
"Well, I don't know who those two are, but of course, we're a couple now. You're not embarrassed seeing your mom dating a girl, are you?" Joanne asked.
"Not at all" Mark answered as he blushed.
"Thank you Hayley and Jeff. I found my true love" Colleen said as she kisses Joanne, while Mark blushes like crazy.
"Mark, it's okay. You did say that if she's happy, then you're happy" Adaline said as she fans her boyfriend.
"I know. It's going to be different since I may possibly end up having two moms" Mark said. "It doesn't matter. I'm proud of my mom for being happy and finding the one she loves."
"What did happen to your dad? You never mentioned him" Adaline wondered.
"Oh look at this, pen123 said that he finished his 3000 word limit. Goodnight everyone" Mark said as he pulled down a black screen just like the ending of a play, but it rips.
"Damn it production!" he cursed.
"Mark, you can't end the episode without telling us…" Adaline said, but the screen shuts off to a blank black screen.
End of Act 3
So there you go. Okay, I know I made people groan in frustration with the ending, but let's just say that the season finale, we MAY find out more about Mark's dad. For now, read and review and see you next time.
