Twelve Souls, One Way

Chapter 2: Confusion, Toilet Monsters and the Memo

By: The Demonic Ninjas 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Or future references and scenes from My Sassy Girl

Summary: Haku has come back to life. Zabuza is still dead. Haku must find a way to resurrect Zabuza. To do this, he will accompanied by the most unusual companions…

Pairings: Now I have a paring but can't tell you who it is…until later

Author's Notes: IMPORTANT!!! I made a few changes to the first chapter so either read the chapter again or read this. The story occurs 3 years later so yes, Sasuke is with Orochimaru and there will be other changes within the storyline so ya…

Thanks youz: Oh ya before I forget. I have to thank all my reviewers!!! Thankz for all the reviews it made me feel a lot better to know you guys out there. And a special thanks to Kikei-kii for editing chapter 1!


Haku smiled at the Ramen owner and asked "Anon, do you know where I could find the Sennin, Jiriya-san?" Before the Ramen Stall owner could say anything, the old man that was staring at Haku jumped to his feet and said,

"The man known as Jiriya-sama,

Women can't help but be seduced by his beauty,

With someone as great-looking as him...

Women just can't sit still

because that man is

ME!"

Haku stared at the white-haired old man and sweatdropped. "What was Tsukiyama-san thinking?!"


An unexpected bird flew by the sky and began scolding Jiriya by crying "Baka, Baka, Baka!"

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Jiriya broke the silence by grabbing Haku's hands and staring into the young mist ninja's light brown eyes saying, "Now what would a young lady like you want from me?". Jiriya's eyes were glowing.

Haku was taken a back. EVERYONE THOUGHT HE WAS A GIRL! This thought sickened the resurrected boy, but since Haku was told by Tsukiyama to ask this "Jiriya-san" for help, he decided to temporarily play the role of a girl to the best of his abilities. Haku gave Jiriya a innocent smile and said, "Anon, Jiriya-sama, I was wondering if you could help me in a private matter?"

"Anything for a young lady like you," laughed Jiriya, "anything for a young lady like you!"

Haku blushed. "Do you know where we could talk … privately?"

The young mist ninja was attempting to suppress his frustration. NEVER did he ever plan to do this before; after all, he was, is and forever always will be a boy. "Do you promise to help me unconditionally?" Haku asked innocently to ensure Jiriya's unconditional aid once he popped his façade. Jiriya nodded frantically.


Haku and Jiriya walked towards a hotel talking in a very general manner. When they reached the door of Jiriya's hotel room, the sannin knocked the door three times before unlocking the door to his hotel room. Before Jiriya could even open the door though, Haku decided to announce his identity casually, "By the way, I'm a boy."

Jiriya collapsed onto the floor in surprise as he stared started closely at Haku. He was shocked with disbelief but because Jiriya had promised to help Haku unconditionally, the perverted hermit let Haku into his hotel room and set Haku on a chair.

"So, What's your name?" asked Jiriya.

"Haku"

"hmmm…very ironic" said Jiriya bluntly. "So what's the problem?"

"Well to get to the point, I'm actually a person who has come back from the dead."

"You're a zombie!"

"No, I was resurrected by a 'being' or I shall say voice named Tsukiyama. She said I was resurrected because I was pure and innocent but I suspect that is not the truth. She told me to ask you for help in collecting these items called the "Zodiac Items" and mentioned that you would be of great help."

"I see…why would you need these items?"

"They are to resurrect a person very dear to me. There are a total of 12 of these items. Each representing a sign from the Zodiac. I need to collect them and bring them to the Temple of Life in the Wind Country and perform a ritual."

"I see, and I presume she wants to me to be some sort of escort…"

"I guess so…"

"Interesting …" Jiriya paused momentarily, "Are you sure this Tsukiyama-san is just a voice and not a…?"

Haku raised an irritated eyebrow. Never had he met a man so obsessed with women. "I am positive that she was just a voice."

"Well, two people isn't enough for such a dangerous and treacherous journey. We need more people. Wait…"Jiriya stared at Haku closely, "oh WHY not! Your guys can come out now." Jiriya appeared to be speaking to the air.

All of a sudden the washroom door in Jiriya's hotel room began to creak open. A blue hand appeared. "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's THE TOILET MONSTERS!" exclaimed Jiriya as the washroom door flew open. The lights began to flash and sinister music began to play. Two figures appeared, "Geez," said one of the two figures, "do we REALLY look like so-called 'toilet monsters' to you?" Jiriya just smirked, well YOU don't look like one…but your partner does…" At that moment a light beamed on the mentioned as he threw a roll of toilet paper at Jiriya. "Ok! Ok! You're not a toilet Monster but I wanted to create some suspense. Oh ya, Haku. Meet Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame."

Kisame stared at Haku, "Hey aren't you that little girl who follows Zabuza-yarou around?" Haku collapsed onto the floor in annoyance. "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M A GIRL!" Haku yelled in his thoughts. After pulling himself from the floor, Haku looked at Kisame squarely in the eye as he spoke in an almost threatening tone. "I'm a boy." Kisame an astonished expression was plastered onto his face as he quickly apologized for mistakening Haku's sex.

Itachi decided to take the reins in speaking seeing that his partner appeared to be incompetent of such a task. "So, Haku, right? Kisame and I heard about your quest while we were … errr… stuck in the washroom…" At that point Haku broke in, "What WERE you guys doing in the washroom, and for a matter of fact why are you guys in Konoha, in Jiriya's hotel room AND in his washroom?!" Itachi sighed, "This is going to be one heck of an explanation," thought Itachi as he decided to postpone the question for another day. "I'll answer the question another day. Now as I was saying before I was interrupted. I was wondering how you were going to find the 12 items?" Haku looked appalled and puzzled all at the same time. It took him a few moments to realize what was asked of him, "Oh, of course." Haku pulled out a scroll, "Tsukiyama-san gave it to me at our meeting, though I'm not really sure how it got there…"


---Flashback---

"Tsukiyama-san, how will I find the 12 items?" questioned Haku

"Oh, simple, just turn around." Tsukiyama stated simply, a slight tone of amusement was heard in her voice.

Haku turned around to face Zabuza's body, and beside it lay a scroll. Haku's eyes widened, "How did that get there?" asked Haku. Tsukiyama laughed, "That will be answered on another day."

It seemed like Tsukiyama liked to keep many secrets…

---End of Flashback---


"Tsukiyama-san told me not to open the scroll until I found Jiriya-sama, so I guess I can open it now." Haku said as he began to unravel the scroll.

As the scroll was unraveling Kisame dropped to the floor grabbing his right arm "AHHHHH!" yelled Kisame. Haku dropped the scroll and ran towards Kisame, "Kisame-san, are you ok?" Kisame winced as he pulled up the sleeve of his right arm. There on his shoulder was a dragon tattoo. Everyone in the room stared wide-eyed. "When did I get a tattoo!" Kisame exclaimed in surprise as he began to run around the room frantically, nearly knocking everything down. Itachi cringed as he bent down to pick up the scroll.

On the scroll lay a map of the continent and on the map lay the 12 signs of the Zodiac. Itachi put the map on top of a bed and pulled up his right sleeve. A rat tattoo was engraved into his arm. He touched the tattoo; it seemed more like someone carved the tattoo into his arm with a kunai. Haku stared at the map and then back at Itachi and Kisame's new 'tattoos'. "No way," whispered Haku. On the scroll, it showed that the Dragon and Rat items were very close to each other, and if the section of the scroll that indicated the Fire Country was compared to a map of Konoha, the supposed Dragon and Rat items would be exactly located within the hotel they were standing in.

"So it appears that the supposed 'Zodiac Items' are actually humans…" stated Jiriya in a thoughtful manner as he studied Itachi's arm.

Itachi unrolled his sleeve and took out a map of Konoha and compared it to the scroll. "According to what I see here, there are 6 Zodiac items right here in Konoha. The rooster is moving around the border of Konoha. I presume they should be an ANBU patrolling the border. Both the monkey and the boar are in the busy streets of Konoha. Those two will be hard to find seeing that they can be either ninja or civilian. The Dragon and Rat are me and Kisame so we do not need to worry about that… But the Ox appears to be in the wild area of Konoha, not surrounded by many urban buildings. A very unusual being, the ox must be. If we cross out me and Kisame then we have two down and four to go out of the Zodiac 'people' in Konoha but we have 10 more people to find in total." Itachi explained. He appeared to be taking on the role as leader and organizer.

"This is going to be one hell of a quest" said Kisame after finally stopping from his frantic run around the room, "so where do we start?" But before anyone could answer that question a knock was heard at the door. Kisame and Itachi grabbed Haku and the scroll as they dashed into the washroom, locking the door in the process.

Jiriya went to the door, peering his head through it. He was both surprised and delighted to see who was at the door. "Oh ho ho, who do we have here," grinned Jiriya. Standing at the door was a woman with short dark brown hair and brown eyes, holding a pig and a scroll – Shizune. She just nodded at Jiriya and handed the scroll she was holding to him. "A message from Tsunade," said Shizune quietly as she bowed and left. Jiriya shrugged as he began to mutter to himself, "women are so shy these days."

"Oi, you guys can come out now!" yelled the Sennin as he began to read the message. His eyes lit up with excitement, "heheheheh…" started Jiriya but suddenly he stopped what he was about to say when he heard a loud commotion coming from the washroom. "Oi, you guys! What's happening in there? A war?" He began knocking at the door, "Ok if you don't open the door know I WILL!" A moment of silence. "Ok, that's it, I'm coming in!" yelled Jiriya as he broke the door down only having to stand there in disbelief in what he saw. In front of him lay Itachi, Kisame and Haku all tangled up. Kisame had a bump on his head and a black eye.

"And I though Haku was pure and innocent. Itachi was too cool to be provoked by anything or anyone and Kisame was… I'm not sure" said Jiriya bluntly

"AN IDIOT!" yelled Itachi and Haku simultaneously.

"Hey what's that supposed to mean!"

"Shut up!" said Itachi as he gave Kisame another bump on the head.

"So this the reason why you guys didn't come out…" muttered Jiriya


---Flash Back---

"hahahaha, the great UCHIHA Itachi is a rat!" exclaimed Kisame

"hn…"

"And I'm a DRAGON!!! Itachi's a squeak little thing and I am the great and almighty dragon!!! Oh ya –does a dance-"

"Kisame-san I think you should lower your tone. We do not want anyone to know that we are here."

"But Itachi's a rat! You have to laugh about that!"

"Kisame-san take this seriously"

"Itachi's a rat! Do-Da Do-Da! –Kisame Begins to sing- Wait Haku are you sure you're a boy and not a girl"

"positive"

"But you look like a girl…"

"the point being…"

"You have to be a girl!"

All of a sudden the atmosphere became eerie. –BANG!- Two blows were smashed into Kisame's face. "what the hell!" exclaimed Kisame. Two killing figures were standing beside him cracking their knuckles. "So Kisame…" started Itachi, "could you finish what you said about me and Haku"

---End Flash Back---


"Let's forget about what happened," smiled Haku in a more optimistic tone, "so what happened at the door?"

"Oh, I received a message from Tsunade saying that a feudal lord has set up a masquerade. He invited me and I'm allowed to bring guests… so you guys are coming too….heheheheh" replied Jiriya as a small smirk of satisfaction crawled across his face.

"WHAT!" yelled the other three

"I hate masquerades…" mumbled Itachi

"What's a masquerade?" questioned the two mist nins

"It's basically a formal dance party where people eat, dance and socialize but you have to wear a mask. One could say it's like a ball." Replied Itachi in an annoyed manner.

"Is there all-you-can-eat food for free?" inquired Kisame

"Yup," said Jiriya, "It's going to be a buffet!"

"Ok I'm in! Haven't had decent meals in a long time."

Jiriya studied the three missing ninjas for a moment. "You guys need some new outfits for the masquerade…"

"Our clothes are perfectly fine," Pouted Kisame, " I like the Akatsuki uniform."

"Well it SPELLS Akatsuki! And you guys are renengade ninjas so we need you guys to hide your identities…" said Jiriya in a matter-of-fact tone. "Ok let's go to my number one tailor in Konoha. He's an absolute genius and will find the perfect outfit for you people. But one thing Haku. I'm sorry to break this to you… but you'll have to be a girl there…"

"WHAT!!!!"

"Well let's say one of the 12 Zodiac People are there and they happen to be male. We need someone to seduce them…"

Haku's right eye twitched in irritation. "I don't seduce people as a boy or a girl. It is not in my nature. Why can't someone else use a Henge no Jutsu?"

"Well, this is your quest and you asked for my aid. If you're not willing to take on a role of a girl, then I can't help you on your quest." Jiriya spoke plainly/

"fine…" Haku sighed in defeat. I don't want to be a girl. I don't know how to flirt and…oh why is this happening to me! I wish I didn't come back to life…"

"Ok let's go you guys. You two, put on your straw hats and let's move."

This day was turning out to be one of the most anarchic days of Haku's life.


----End of Chapter-----

Ok I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY for not updating for like a month but I've been EXTREMLY busy this month. Gomen. Just a warning I think I'll only be able to update like once a month. Gomen. Anyways read and Review! Or I won't update at all lol. Ok I'll try to update sooner. I tried to make up for the major time loss. This is the longest chapter I have EVER written. Insanity. And I know so many things happened. But I'm sure you guys can understand it ;) anyways. Til next time. And if possible…read my other stories