Honestly I wrote this when I was half asleep and never read over it I'm so sorry but I didn't want to get too behind and it's been a long time since I updated. It's short and messy but it's mostly a filler chapter. I apologise in advance. I'm genuinely afraid to read it. Anyway please REVIEW no hate just CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! Like don't try to write after taking sleep meds which I guess it a terrible idea but oh well try to enjoy...?
Alec had never felt depression like this in his life, his fingers traced over his now faded parabatai rune. Jace was gone, and he had killed him, the more he thought about it the more it made him want to die. Magnus was terrified that he would hurt himself. He sat by him and took his hands in his. "Hurting yourself won't bring Jace back and if you do you're not really punishing yourself, you're punishing everyone around you, this is not what Jace would have wanted and you know that" he said desperately trying to get Alec to listen to reason.
"You don't get it. You'll never get it" Alec mumbled, the pain was clear in his eyes, Magnus just wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him everything would be okay but he knew he couldn't. Alec wasn't like that he just pushed people away when he was upset.
He left him alone for awhile so he could grieve , he had to think of something, he went looking for answers, maybe for a way to bring Jace back. Alec was doing the same but him and Magnus had different ideas. Magnus wanted to somehow contact Jace to give Alec closure but Alec wanted him back and he didn't have a problem using dark magic to do so. He didn't care about the risks.
The clave wanted answers, this wasn't just a case of possession, this thing was able to control Alec's mind completely and they wanted answers, answers Alec couldn't give them. The events of that night played over and over in his mind. He used his clearance to check the security footage, all he saw was him and Jace killing innocent shadowhunters, it was like they had completely lost it. . He had reached a state of paranoia now because people weren't telling him the whole stoat they were all too worried that he'd kill himself or drastic that would get him hurt.
When Magnus realised Alec was gone from his room there was an initial sense of panic. He knew he was probably being irrational but he loved Alec more than he had ever lived anyone in his entire life and that definitely says a lot considering his immortality. Izzy texted him to let him know where Alec wax and within minutes he was by his side. "Alexander you've had me worried" he gently took his hand in his. "Watching that isn't going to help.. I'm doing the best I can on working with a plan so you can contact Jace. For now you should be getting rest. You lost your parabatai you don't know how that will affect you everyone experiences it differently"
"I...I. ." he held his hand tightly for comfort refusing to let himself cry again. Magnus gently put his hand to his cheek and turned his head so he was looking at him.
"It's okay to hurt. You've lost someone dear to you. I understand that feeling and I know it feels like it will never get better but it does" Alec didn't say a word in response to that he just hugged him tightly.
They were interrupted when a clave representitive walked in. "I hate to break up the party" she said sarcastically "but I need a moment alone with Mr. Lighrwood" Magnus was hesitant but let him and slowly walked out. The interrogation was about to begin...
Clary sat atop her bed sketching images of happier times, it was her escape from everything that was happening at the moment. Sometimes she wished she could just go back and change everything. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Izzy was leaving in the doorway. . Everyone was so worried about Alec and how he was doing and about what great evil was to come that no one had time to grieve themselves. When Clary and Izzy exchanged a look Clary just broke down, she couldn't hold it in anymore. Izzy sat by her and hugged her. She was her best friend after all, in fact they were even closer than that...
