Jean-Luc waited until he was certain Beverly was once more distracted before making his reappearance, going to the table of the paper and pens to produce poetic prose. Finding a spot, he stuck his slip to the sturdy structure before stealthily seating himself with his friends.

The moons shone, the night wore on, well into the early hours of the morning. Hannay had started to sober up, but Marta seemed a little worse for wear. Jean-Luc and Beverly drank less because of their joint psychic connection – neither wanted to risk being inebriated before they had strong enough mental blocks for privacy.

They both ended up escorting Marta and Hannay back to their accommodation. It's a beautiful night, Beverly projected, glancing up at the star-filled sky as she wrapped one arm around his.

Are you tired yet? Perhaps we can take a more scenic route back to our flat? He responded. She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder, waves of contentment coming off her in agreement. Taking back his arm, he wrapped it around her side to hug her to him as they wandered off into the silvery nightscape. The beach drew them in with torches and the occasional fire pit, however even there it was quieting down.

The water looks so nice. She sighed blissfully as they paused, breathing in deeply the scent of the sea. They can't replicate that on a holodeck.

Their minds drifted as the waves crashed, the conversations and jokes they'd shared over the evening, how far it felt from that morning when they left the Enterprise, or the night before when they had been in Ten Forward.

I wonder what else I have missed, Jean-Luc thought, frowning.

"Hmm?" Beverly murmured.

"Nothing," he whispered. Just… thinking.

I can tell. "Why were you so surprised that I'm not straight?" she said gently, but didn't shift her eyes from the view. She hadn't used the archaic terms in so long, they felt strange on her tongue but still true to her heart. In the twenty forth century they were mainly part of history, the heteronormative societal model long since gone and hence the need to communicate the difference from it also obsolete. However, Jean-Luc did come from a traditional family…

I don't have any problem with it. "I just… I never knew you had interests beyond men." Maybe that's why she doesn't want to be with me, she's had a husband, perhaps now she's more interested in having a wife. No matter what, she's still Beverly and still my friend and I'll support her if that is what she wants…

Is that what Deanna was discussing with her?

Beverly let out a laugh, Jean-Luc jumping in surprise. Deanna and I are close, but not like that, Jean-Luc, she informed him. She swallowed down, her mind shifting to another matter. He couldn't hear her thoughts but he could feel the darkness and pain.

"Beverly?" What's wrong?

"I do love you, Jean-Luc, it's just…" she said quietly under her breath. I prefer to keep my relationships separate from people I could lose so easily. You know the dangers of serving in Starfleet. We've both lost people close to us. I don't want to go through that again, or be the reason it happens to someone else. The mention of the Borg that evening had reminded her how close she had come to losing him then, and with the nightmare she had seen and their dealings with Borg just a year ago, the threat was still there.

"I believe…" he whispered, the words slipping away from him. He swallowed down and started again. "I believe your heart is stronger than you think." To do what you do, day in day out, fighting Death itself to save so many people. You saved so many people!

But I lost so many too.

You do the best you can. You save as many as you can. He turned to find a tear running down her cheek. Aware of his attention, she wiped it away. You keep going, after everything, you keep going. "You are the bravest, smartest, most divine person I have ever met." Just because you were responsible doesn't make you to blame.

No, but I wasn't good enough to save them. She shrugged out of his hold, turning away from him. I just wanted to be good enough to save them!

Jean-Luc bit his lip. He had little experience offering consolation, but Beverly he'd known for so long, he would have been expected to have some clue what to do. All he had though was the strong fear that he had to get it right. You're good enough to be my CMO. Surely that must count for something? He reached out and gingerly put a hand on her shoulder.

I thought so… He was hit with a wave of regret, wistfulness, sadness.

So it was something after she came aboard the Enterprise that she feels sad about, he deduced. Something that would make her question her abilities, maybe even consider leaving… something that happened before she left…

Tasha.

Excuse me. She walked away, down towards the water.

Beverly and Tasha… and I never realised it… how did I not see that? Merde, no wonder she left that year! Beverly and Tasha… Tasha would have been such a wonderful step-mother for Wesley.

Yes. She agreed, going down to where the water lapped at her feet, sandals in her hands. Odan wanted to meet Wesley as well. I couldn't handle Odan changing so rapidly within three days, I wasn't ready. I almost lost him… her… She was still confused about what had happened all those years later, but she still felt that ending their relationship had been the right move.

It takes an exceptional person to catch the eye of someone hundreds of years old, Jean-Luc remarked with a spot of humour.

I should have guessed, I have always liked my men older, Beverly thought with bitter-sweetness. And my women younger.

Am I too young now? He thought with dread, raising a hand to his head of hair. It's still there. This is bizarre!

You're still Jean-Luc on the inside. I think that's what matters. After all, both Ronin and Odan had appeared younger while mentally being hundreds of years old.

Slowly they walked back to the flat, Beverly along the shoreline, Jean-Luc along the pathway above the sand. Inside, Jean-Luc began to go to his rooms.

"Wait," Beverly called out. Almost forgot, she projected, crossing over to him in a few strides as he turned. Her feet still bare from walking on the beach, she raised slightly on tip toes and kissed him softly. His eyes closed, lips following hers back a moment when she withdrew. Finding themselves lost in the cool air, he opened his eyes. "Good night," she said simply. Neither stepped away.

Oh, Jean-Luc thought. It was for earlier in the evening, the joke... I hadn't meant… "I was…" he started, but his mouth disconnected from his brain as he watched her, stood there. I mustn't. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned, blushing.

"Don't forget, we're meeting up with them for breakfast," Beverly reminded him. Although if Hannay is the same person I went to the Academy with, it'll be more like a brunch.

Same with Marta, he agreed after the door had shut.

They both went to bed.


A/N: Trying my hand at a new take on "Why did Beverly leave for a year?" Thoughts? I hope you all have a wonderful day! Please do review!