This is quite funny. I might or might not write a parody of Dead Man's Chest...if I feel like it.
Tid: Yeah, yeah, sorry for last chapter…I forgot to add the Parlez part. Damn.
Lauderdale: Yeah. Not yer fault, mate.
Tid: Who's the pirate here?!?!
Lauderdale: (sigh) You.
Tid: Remember that. So anyways, jest imagine yer own little parlez part in those funky heads o' yers. Now. Thanks a bunch.
Lauderdale: Chappie six!!
Chapter six: Barrrrbossa!!
Jack: (picks up bone) Heeeerrrrrreee, doggy, doggy, doggy…come on, come here to ol' Jack….
Dog: I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
Jack: (blinks) Shut up, that's not your line.
Dog: Then I won't come. I'll just run awaaaaaaaaay!!! (runs away)
Jack: No, no, no, no, no, come back, I'm sorry, I luv ya….
Twigg and Koehler: (stumble into room)
Koehler: Ey, this ain't the bathroom…(bites lip and whimpers, dancing around)
Twigg: I told you to go before we came, you frickin…oh look, it's Jack Sparrow.
Tid and Lauderdale: CAPTAIN.
Twigg: (spits on the ground in front of Jack)
Koehler: The last time we saw ye, ye were shrinking into the distance and we were leavin' yer purty ass behind.
Tid: (growls angrily)
Jack: The circle of deepest Hell is mutineers for betrayers and reserved…waitaminute…lemme try that again…. The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. Yeah. That.
Twigg: (grabs Jack's neck, showing a skeleton hand) You know nothing of Hell.
Tid: (screams) A CURSE!!!
Jack: Actually, I do. I'm in it right now. This cell isn't a luxury hotel, thank you very much.
Koehler: Uh, Twigg?
Twigg: What?!
Koehler: (points to the ground and winces) I'm sorry….
Twigg: (groans and rolls eyes) Why couldn't you hold it in?
Koehler and Twigg: (leave)
Jack: (looks at ground) That's just disgusting.
(Meanwhile)
Elizabeth: This is interesting…but beautiful…in a very spooky way….
Random Pirate: Shut up.
Elizabeth: (shuts up)
Pirates: (bring Elizabeth aboard the Pearl)
Bo'sun: Whattaya want?
Elizabeth: I'm her to negotiate…(gets slapped) OW!!!
Tid and Lauderdale: STAND UP FOR YO RIGHTS, GIRL!!!
Barbossa: I think that was a tad bit mean. Plus ye can't harm none under protection of parlez. You stupid head. Anyways, I'm the captain.
Elizabeth: I'm here to negotiate…something about something…um…let's just cut to the chase, I have this medallion thingy and I know you want it.
Barbossa: Do not.
Elizabeth: (holds medallion over water) Ye sure?
Barbossa: ….Damn…hand it over.
Elizabeth: Only if you fulfill my request.
Barbossa: Yes, yes, fine, what is it?
Elizabeth: I want you to leave and never come back.
Barbossa: (cracks up and falls to the ground, laughing)
Elizabeth: (raises an eyebrow)
Barbossa: (rolls overboard, still laughing)
Elizabeth: Well, that worked out nicely….
Barbossa: (climbs aboard and stands up as if nothing happened) Well, Missy, only if you tell me your name will I be able to fulfill your request.
Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Noodlemantra.
Barbossa: Is not.
Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Norrington.
Barbossa: You're kidding, right?
Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Turner.
Barbossa: Miss Turnerrrrrrrr….(takes medallion and gives it to the monkey)
Lauderdale: You gave it to the monkey?!?!?!
Barbossa: (scratches Lauderdale's eyes out)
Lauderdale: Holy bleeping!!!!
Barbossa: Anyways, EVERYONE DO THE STUFF YOU DO TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING!!
Elizabeth: Wait…wait…our agreement!
Barbossa: First of all, ye have to be a pirate to follow the code, and yer not, second of all, the rules are more like guidelines, anyway, and third, me name is Hector Barbossa, and I'm a Meanie Poo! Welcome to The Black Pearl, Miss Turner!
Elizabeth: DAMN! I knew I should've made my name Elizabeth Smithsonjonesjohnsonsnitchzer….
Tid: Nothing really to say down here…
Lauderdale: I'M BLIND!! I'M RUNNING AROUND LIKE A MORON AND YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY DOWN HERE?!?!?!
Tid: Yup.
Lauderdale: (gets sunglasses and covers her eyeless sockets) I feel…I feel…uh-oh…I'm sensing something coming from the Depper over here….
Tid: (whispers) Once Upon a Time in Mexico….
Lauderdale: (tries to roll eyes…but there are no eyes to roll) You are obsessed.
Tid: YOU HAVE NO EYES!!!
Lauderdale: Good point.
Alright, for some reason I'm in pain.
