This is quite funny. I might or might not write a parody of Dead Man's Chest...if I feel like it.


Tid: Yeah, yeah, sorry for last chapter…I forgot to add the Parlez part. Damn.

Lauderdale: Yeah. Not yer fault, mate.

Tid: Who's the pirate here?!?!

Lauderdale: (sigh) You.

Tid: Remember that. So anyways, jest imagine yer own little parlez part in those funky heads o' yers. Now. Thanks a bunch.

Lauderdale: Chappie six!!


Chapter six: Barrrrbossa!!
Jack: (picks up bone) Heeeerrrrrreee, doggy, doggy, doggy…come on, come here to ol' Jack….

Dog: I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

Jack: (blinks) Shut up, that's not your line.

Dog: Then I won't come. I'll just run awaaaaaaaaay!!! (runs away)

Jack: No, no, no, no, no, come back, I'm sorry, I luv ya….

Twigg and Koehler: (stumble into room)

Koehler: Ey, this ain't the bathroom…(bites lip and whimpers, dancing around)

Twigg: I told you to go before we came, you frickin…oh look, it's Jack Sparrow.

Tid and Lauderdale: CAPTAIN.

Twigg: (spits on the ground in front of Jack)

Koehler: The last time we saw ye, ye were shrinking into the distance and we were leavin' yer purty ass behind.

Tid: (growls angrily)

Jack: The circle of deepest Hell is mutineers for betrayers and reserved…waitaminute…lemme try that again…. The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. Yeah. That.

Twigg: (grabs Jack's neck, showing a skeleton hand) You know nothing of Hell.

Tid: (screams) A CURSE!!!

Jack: Actually, I do. I'm in it right now. This cell isn't a luxury hotel, thank you very much.

Koehler: Uh, Twigg?

Twigg: What?!

Koehler: (points to the ground and winces) I'm sorry….

Twigg: (groans and rolls eyes) Why couldn't you hold it in?

Koehler and Twigg: (leave)

Jack: (looks at ground) That's just disgusting.

(Meanwhile)

Elizabeth: This is interesting…but beautiful…in a very spooky way….

Random Pirate: Shut up.

Elizabeth: (shuts up)

Pirates: (bring Elizabeth aboard the Pearl)

Bo'sun: Whattaya want?

Elizabeth: I'm her to negotiate…(gets slapped) OW!!!

Tid and Lauderdale: STAND UP FOR YO RIGHTS, GIRL!!!

Barbossa: I think that was a tad bit mean. Plus ye can't harm none under protection of parlez. You stupid head. Anyways, I'm the captain.

Elizabeth: I'm here to negotiate…something about something…um…let's just cut to the chase, I have this medallion thingy and I know you want it.

Barbossa: Do not.

Elizabeth: (holds medallion over water) Ye sure?

Barbossa: ….Damn…hand it over.

Elizabeth: Only if you fulfill my request.

Barbossa: Yes, yes, fine, what is it?

Elizabeth: I want you to leave and never come back.

Barbossa: (cracks up and falls to the ground, laughing)

Elizabeth: (raises an eyebrow)

Barbossa: (rolls overboard, still laughing)

Elizabeth: Well, that worked out nicely….

Barbossa: (climbs aboard and stands up as if nothing happened) Well, Missy, only if you tell me your name will I be able to fulfill your request.

Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Noodlemantra.

Barbossa: Is not.

Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Norrington.

Barbossa: You're kidding, right?

Elizabeth: Elizabeth…Turner.

Barbossa: Miss Turnerrrrrrrr….(takes medallion and gives it to the monkey)

Lauderdale: You gave it to the monkey?!?!?!

Barbossa: (scratches Lauderdale's eyes out)

Lauderdale: Holy bleeping!!!!

Barbossa: Anyways, EVERYONE DO THE STUFF YOU DO TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING!!

Elizabeth: Wait…wait…our agreement!

Barbossa: First of all, ye have to be a pirate to follow the code, and yer not, second of all, the rules are more like guidelines, anyway, and third, me name is Hector Barbossa, and I'm a Meanie Poo! Welcome to The Black Pearl, Miss Turner!

Elizabeth: DAMN! I knew I should've made my name Elizabeth Smithsonjonesjohnsonsnitchzer….


Tid: Nothing really to say down here…

Lauderdale: I'M BLIND!! I'M RUNNING AROUND LIKE A MORON AND YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY DOWN HERE?!?!?!

Tid: Yup.

Lauderdale: (gets sunglasses and covers her eyeless sockets) I feel…I feel…uh-oh…I'm sensing something coming from the Depper over here….

Tid: (whispers) Once Upon a Time in Mexico….

Lauderdale: (tries to roll eyes…but there are no eyes to roll) You are obsessed.

Tid: YOU HAVE NO EYES!!!

Lauderdale: Good point.


Alright, for some reason I'm in pain.