Here is chapter 6, I know I promised LTC and or LF and don't worry LTC is more than half way through and LF is started. I usually have more time to work on them at work but its been busy. Don't worry I haven't abandoned them. Warning…you will love me for the beginning and then you will hate me for the end. I am sorry ahead of time. Have faith kiddos.
Chapter 6 Misinformed
Dear Dylan,
I don't even know what to say back to you after that letter. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I respect the fact you want to deal with it on your own, I understand you not wanting me to go to Brandon with this and baby, I wouldn't do that. You know you can trust me with anything. I just think you should reconsider. I hate the fact you are having to deal with this alone. That being said, I am not going to lecture you on it either. I know you better than that and I made the mistake a long time ago not to back you on something you felt strongly about. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut and not pressured you with my opinion of the matter with the SAT's. I think in the long run, summer aside, it pulled us apart. That's the one thing we had in our relationship was understanding and the fact we were by each other's sides. I didn't do that then and I will forever be sorry for it. I will drop it, but please know, if you need anything at all. Help, information, even money. Come to me ok? I may not have the funds, but I will figure out a way to help you somehow.
That being said, to keep with the upbeat promise we vowed with these letters. I am not seeing anybody. You don't have to sit there and think about who I am with or what I am doing because even though I know I can, I am not looking for anyone. My whole heart belongs to you. And even though the future with us may be the unknown, I cant ignore the love I have for you. I stay pretty busy here with classes, studying, and rehearsal's. I am not here to meet a guy and date. So I may just be speaking for myself here but being in a relationship with anyone but you, terrifies me. And I don't think it would be fair to see some guy knowing that I am in love with someone else...that I am still in love with you.
You said you haven't been to my house or hung out with anyone so I take it you haven't met my replacement that's been living at my house for the past week and half. Well not my replacement but being so far away it sure feels that way. My parents have invited a close family friend's daughter to live with them while I am gone. Which makes me think that they don't think I am coming home ever again. I know I am being dramatic but there is something about knowing she is there, staying in my room, sharing a bathroom with my brother that weird's me out. Which brings up the next issue. Christmas, my parents have been talking about coming out here and spending Christmas here in London. I keep dropping hints that I want to come there for Christmas. Visit my family, spend time with old friends and well…see you. I am hoping I can get my point across in the couple months until then but their view on the matter and reluctance only makes me think that since our family friend is there that maybe they just don't have space for me and that's their way of being nice and not bluntly telling me that. Maybe I am just stupid and feeling bad for myself. Either way having her there just goes to show me that they didn't think much about holidays and spending the money to bring me home once in awhile and that just makes everything worse.
There is one more thing too…Happy Birthday! No I didn't forget and if I were in California I would be giving you more than this letter that's for sure. Ha ha see I think about sex too you know. I know with everything going on and the fact that you probably wont do anything knowing you. I wanted to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday. I am hoping this letter comes to you before the actual day and not after.
Dylan raised his head as he heard a knock at the door. He sighed almost being angry with whoever it was for interrupting his Brenda daze. That's what he referred to it as when he received one of her letters. Dylan set the letter down and went glancing through the window seeing it was a delivery man. He quickly opened the door.
"I have a package for a Dylan McKay."
"That's me." Dylan said curiously.
"Sign here." the delivery driver held out his clipboard.
Dylan quickly signed his name and took the package looking down at it as he shut the front door. He slowly moved to the couch again and smirked as he saw the return address on the package. He opened it carefully and looked at the card first. It had a heart on the front and it read, To My Baby On His Birthday. Dylan smiled and opened it. He read the hallmark sentiments and came to the personal touch. Dylan, I found this at a vintage bookstore close to school. I thought of you the moment I saw it. I go in there every other day just because the place reminds me so much of you. I bookmarked page 32, I think you'll know why. Happy Birthday Dylan. I wish I was there to hug you and give you a birthday kiss but this will have to do. With love, Your Bren. Dylan smiled as he looked in the box and pulled out a book titled, A Book For Lovers…a classic collection of romantic poetry. Dylan opened the first edition poetry book and went straight to page 32. Dylan started to read and instantly smiled recognizing the poem.
Longing
by Matthew Arnold (1822 1888)
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me.
Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth.
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say My love! why sufferest thou?
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day
Dylan sighed and couldn't help but smile a bit. He ran his fingers down the page just thinking about Brenda reading through this book and hand picking this poem made his heart ache for her even more. He gently set down the book and picked up the letter to finish it.
Promise me one thing, you will do something for your birthday. Anything…whether its go surfing or even just going to the Pit for a Mega Burger, which by the way I would give up my first born for right now. But something, just so I know you aren't alone on your day. You should be getting a little something from me for your birthday as well. It's nothing big but it screams you and I just had to get it. Also you will find something else in there from me. Just in case you are starting to forget about me. I miss you Dylan. Happy Birthday.
With Love,
Your Bren
Dylan peaked inside the box pulling out another envelope. He quickly opened it and felt his heart skip a beat as he pulled out four pictures. He stared at them and smiled. It was of them…together…happy, before they were apart, before Dylan knew what Suzanne and Kevin had done to him. When he literally had everything. They were posed on the beach, in bed together, kissing, cuddling. Doing things he missed more than anything. He spent the next 45 minutes staring at those pictures and thinking about everything that Brenda had said. With that Dylan decided to keep the promise even though he had never actually promised her. He decided to change his clothes and go to the Peach Pit for lunch. It would be good for him, he just hoped he wouldn't run into any of his friends that as far as he knew, didn't know he was drinking again or even home.
**
Dylan made his way through the back entrance and went to the door as he noticed Kelly getting up and saying what looked like goodbye to Donna. Dylan waited for Kelly to leave through the front door before heading into the Peach Pit. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her. He was barely drunk and there wasn't enough beer or scotch in the world to prepare him for that conversation. Donna he could handle considering she wouldn't ask too many questions or even if she did she wouldn't judge him for being distant and really didn't have to justify anything to her. He also knew word would get around of him being back in town and he liked the fact she probably would be the one to tell everyone so he didn't have too. He slowly made his way in and saw Nat turn around.
"Dylan…how are you doing man? I thought my silent partner had dropped off the face of the earth."
Dylan smiled at Nat not saying anything and Nat could tell right away how forced that smile was.
"You ok?" Nat said concerned seeing the bags under his eyes, the lack of product in his hair and general worn look on his face.
"Yeah I am fine, just been sick that's all. I finally think I am feeling better enough for some real food." Dylan smiled at little more genuinely at Nat and walked around the counter. He avoided making eye contact with Donna as he sat at the counter but not surprised he didn't get far without being noticed.
"Dylan?" Donna said surprised to see him.
Dylan slowly swung around on the stool and gave her a subtle smile. "Hey Donna, how you been?"
"Good." she said with a smile getting up and sitting on the stool next to him. "You just messed Kelly…where have you been hiding out?"
Dylan ignored the Kelly comment, happy she had asked another question so it was easy to dance around the Kelly comment. "I have been sick, the flu or something but I spent the summer in Mexico."
"Oh when did you get back?" Donna leaned her elbow on the counter making herself more comfortable and looking interested.
"A week ago." Dylan lied in reality he had been back almost 2 months already.
"Well its nice to see you." Donna smiled sweetly.
"So since you have been gone did you hear about Brenda?"
Dylan took a deep breath, not ask a lot of questions my ass, Dylan smiled, "Yeah there was a message from Brandon on my machine when I got back, that's cool she got a scholarship, good for her."
"Yeah…I talked to her last week, she seems to be liking school."
Steve walked up behind them startling Dylan as he felt Steve's hand on his shoulder. "Hey stranger, where the hell have you been?"
Great, Dylan thought. "Hey man, just got back from Baja last week."
"You talking about Brenda?" Steve sat on the other side of Dylan making Dylan regret his decision on coming to the Pit at all.
"Yeah…I was just telling Dylan I talked to her last week." Donna looked down at her watch, "Oh man, I got to get out of here." Donna set her hand on his shoulder as she stood up, "Good seeing you Dylan and if you aren't doing anything tomorrow night, come by the Hilton."
"What's at the Hilton?" Dylan pretended to care.
"I am being debuted tomorrow." Donna realized people probably didn't know what that meant, "It's a ball, I have decided to be a debutant. Gotta suit?"
"I got a wetsuit." Dylan joked.
Donna smiled at his joke, "Try to come, I know everyone would love to see you. See you guys later." Donna left out the front door quickly.
"So you heard about Bren then huh?" Steve continued with the Brenda conversation in which Dylan wasn't interested in talking about with Steve, especially because he knew more about Brenda in London then any of them.
"Yeah, Brandon left me a message, something about her getting invited to stay or something." Dylan played dumb bringing the coffee that Nat had dropped off to his lips and taking a sip.
"Yeah Brandon said she is doing well…she is even seeing someone I guess."
Dylan's head turned quickly toward Steve, "She is? Since when?" he caught his tone after saying it out loud and realized there was emotion and sadness, with a bit of hurt and jealousy to it and was probably obvious.
Steve looked at Dylan oddly, "Yeah." he said slowly with a sense of wonder, "I guess the last time Brandon called her, some dude answered. Brandon asked the guy who he was and I guess he told him he was a close friend of Brenda's." Steve waited to see if Dylan reacted again. Steve was surprised, he thought Brenda and Dylan were ancient history, they hadn't even been together in over a year.
Dylan swallowed hard and looked into his coffee cup.
"You haven't talked to her?" Steve now was being nosey.
Dylan tried to recover from the shock and act as though it didn't matter, "Ah…no, I haven't talked to Bren since before she left for the summer." Dylan made eye contact with Steve seeing the prying look in his eyes right away. "Well that's good, I am glad to hear she is adjusting well." Dylan said looking away quickly and hoping Steve bought it.
"Yeah sounds like she is, you going to come to the party thing tomorrow?"
"We'll see, I am getting over the flu or something, we will see how I feel." Dylan said hoping that was a good enough answer.
"Yeah I was going to say, you look like shit dude."
"Thanks Steve… I should go." Dylan got up not even wanting the mega burger anymore.
"Later dude, see ya around." Steve turned but saw Dylan was already pushing the back doors open. Steve shrugged not thinking too much into it.
Dylan had spent the majority of that night going over the possibility that Brenda was actually seeing someone. Would she lie to him? Dylan didn't think so but there was a delay in letters, it normally took a week sometimes more to get mail from the UK, could someone have came in and swept her off her feet? Dylan continued to drink as he worked on his bike thinking about Brenda's letter. He couldn't get her out of his head. He knew they weren't officially together or having a long distance relationship and Dylan meant what he said that he didn't expect her to wait for him but it didn't make the fact that it may actually be true hurt less. Dylan turned his head toward the inside as he heard the door bell. He walked over to the front door wiping the grease off his hands. He opened it quickly finding Brandon standing on his porch.
Dylan smiled and wiped under his nose, "Heeey…Mr. Walsh, I had a feeling I would see you soon after seeing Steve at the Pit. Good to see ya."
"Really? Cause the incommunicado treatment kind of had me wondering." Brandon held out his hand for a greet as Dylan half assed it making Brandon feel stupid.
Dylan looked toward the inside of his house and back out at Brandon, "Yeah…sorry…I should have checked the messages."
Brandon stuck his hand back into his pocket, "No problem."
"Come on in." Dylan opened the door farther letting Brandon in as he walked back to his outside patio. "I was just working on the bike, going to take her out for a test drive."
"You mean this thing actually runs, I always thought of it as porch decoration."
"Ha…no way, me and Kelly used to take it out all the time." Dylan reached for his beer as Brandon uncomfortably watched him take a sip. The fact that Dylan brought up Kelly was rough enough but seeing Dylan McKay drinking was worse. Dylan sensed his disapproval instantly.
"Want a beer?" Dylan said looking back at him.
"No…thanks." Brandon continued to stare at him in disbelief.
"You wanna quit staring at mine then." Dylan said rudely.
Brandon pursed his lips together with a slight shrug, "Tell me you're fine and I wont say a word about it."
"I am fine." Dylan said not very convincingly as he took a seat on his patio chair. "Even though I have been thinking about Kelly lately, I guess I missed her at the pit today." Dylan wasn't sure exactly why he brought her up entirely but he realized quickly after saying it out loud that he said it to hurt Brenda.
"But you guys were always fighting when you were together, I thought you and Bren had reconnected?" Brandon officially felt weird vibes from his long time friend. He came over with the intention of saying hello to him and telling him about Kelly not thinking it would be a big deal because of Brenda and Dylan getting back together the week before she left. Now he wasn't so sure.
"Well it was always complicated, Brenda was around."
"I thought you and Brenda had gotten back together before she left? She asks about you all the time. She calls home once a week and after telling me what's new the first person she asks about is you." Brandon was getting angry and defensive, whatever Dylan was trying to pull he didn't know. Dylan knew Brandon knew how close they had gotten before she left. Why was he down playing it?
"We did…but that was a long time ago, she is there, I am here."
"So…that's it…that's how you feel about her. She is there, you're here and Kelly is second choice as usual?" Brandon said without thinking.
Dylan took a swig of beer regretting talking about Kelly at all, he didn't care about Kelly. Dylan knew subconsciously he was mad about Brenda moving on and knew Brenda and Brandon talked often. He didn't know why he wanted to hurt her. Now he had secretly hoped he wouldn't tell her anything. "Steve told me Brenda is seeing someone, why am I the bad guy?"
Brandon looked down at his feet realizing where it was coming from now, jealousy. "I don't know for sure. I did call her, and some guy answered. It doesn't mean she is dating him." Brandon could kill Steve for saying anything. Brandon had told Steve thinking it was odd because he knew how she felt about Dylan but without knowing the facts he didn't want people finding out, especially Dylan.
"Whatever man…it wouldn't have worked, she is in London, I mean I haven't seen her in almost four months." Dylan downed his beer, "It's good she is moving on." he lied through his teeth.
Brandon stared at him, he wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure if he was saying those things because of what Steve had told him or because he was just mean. Was he mad Brenda didn't come home and wanted to hurt her or was he just really unaffected by it? Had Dylan just spent that summer with Brenda on the rebound? If he was hoping Brandon would tell her this stuff he was wrong. It would break her heart even if she was seeing somebody. Brandon swallowed hard watching Dylan drink his beers in disgust.
"Are you sure you don't want a beer?"
Brandon shook his head and took a deep breath, Brandon didn't get it. Dylan treating Brenda badly when she wasn't around...drinking again. Whatever was happening with Dylan, Brandon didn't like it and it was not the time to tell him about Kelly.
*ducks and hides* Don't throw things please, tell me how you are feeling in reviews but just know…my season 5 WILL NOT mirror the Kelly, Dylan, Brandon triangle. That's all I am going to say. I would hope most of you guys would trust me by now. Obviously the Brenda and Dylan angst has begun. And this is what I meant about outside influences. Also this story is totally about Brenda and Dylan, not Dylan and Kelly, or Brandon and Kelly or anything. Hope that helps ease your hate toward me right now lol Please review, oh and on a better note, how sweet was Brenda's gift and letter?
