Sitting in a jail cell Lorelai examines the ends of her feral hair. Putting it close to her face to see how many split ends she has accumulated during their trip. The young girl April, Luke's daughter rests on the bench next to Lorelai. Meanwhile the rugged, I haven't shaved-in-a-month, Luke paces the length of the cell. Putting his arms in the hair he begins to speak, "I can't believe this is happening, this is not happening, this is not happening, it's just a Freud trick. I am at the Diner in my bed having a nightmare after having Indian food."
"I tried telling myself that two weeks ago, when all this started. I still haven't woken up." Lorelai said simply throwing her hair out of her face.
"We have to get out of here, Now, we have to GET OUT NOW." Luke begins to kick the side of the jail cell. A loud bang rings through out the jail.
April suddenly wakes up. "Are we being attacked by the Piranhas again?" She looks around and sees her father kicking the jail cell.
"Luke, calm down. Everything is ok. I'm pretty sure we get that 'one phone call' soon. They just have to prove we are American citizens. But looking at you and me and April, that might a little hard to prove…." A cop comes up to the cell.
"Hey, knock it off folks." He said banging on the bars of the cell.
"Hey, copper. I'm a Citizen of the United States of America and I demand you give me my Miranda rights, which entitles us to a phone call. Buddy" April yelled at the man outside of the jail.
"Little girl when you can give me some type of I.D or prove you are who you say you are your welcome to your wish." The cop said while walking away.
"Big, Dunce." April says to herself sitting down.
Standing up Lorelai walks over to April and pats her on the back then moves over to Luke who is standing the wall with his head down. She touches him on the shoulder.
" Lorelai, this is all my fault."
"No Luke, it was just a chain of unfortunate events. Were the Baudelaires" Lorelai smiled "and our count Olaf, the Untied States Immigration, just won't let us in; at the wonderful advice of my dear and close friend Bush."
"God, April's mom is never going to trust me again. I have to fix this." Luke said stepping away from Lorelai and began to pace again.
Lorelai stood there and began to think how they can prove they are Amercian citizens. Even though the spoke normal slang English the US still couldn't figure out that they were natural citizens. What does every American know by heart she asked herself? The Pledge Allegiance.
" Ok. Luke and April get up and stand pretending to be proud if you have to. Lets recite the Pledge of Allegience." Lorelai stood beginning to put her hand over her heart.
Luke and April just continued to stair at her.
"Come on guys. Swallow your pride and let's get home. I need a shower."
"Fine." Luke and April said simultaneously.
The three stood there for a few hours reciting the pledge of Allegiance, Amazing Grace, and began to play Trivia Pursuit, but of American History.
Sometime Later Rory gets a telephone call…
Rory answers her cell, "Hello" she says while grabbing her puse.
"Rory, O my God Rory, is this my one and only kindred?" Lorelai said sounding very desperate.
"Mom, is that you? You sound a little off." Rory said walking through the hall of the apartment.
"I have to tell you something and if you laugh I'll put your photos of when you were in jail on You Tube and I'll make them do a puppet series on the importance of how to drive a yate." Lorelai said beginning to get serious.
"Were, already resulting to black mail. What's going on." Rory said sounding more concern.
"I can't tell you the whole story yet. But me, Luke and April ended up in the hands of US immigration. We lost our passports and IDs and we had no way of proving who we were till a very intense game of Trivia Pursuit."
"Firstly, O my God. Secondly, I knew some day that game would come in handy."
"I need you to come and get us and bring some documentation of who we are. Luke said he has April's birth certificate in the Diner and You know of all my cards. Just grab one. And come free mommy from Jail." Lorelai said a little more calmly.
"You know Grandma now has the upper hand again."
"I know but at least I made a poster out of her jail pictures." Lorelai said smiling to herself. "Underneath my bed; ready to come out at any point in time."
" Mom, it will be a while. I'll hurry as fast as possible. At least you're in New York." Rory said trying to be optimistic.
"You can now call me a real New Yorker, a real Maverick, a real James Dean after being in jail here." Lorelai said.
" I'll see you later New Yorker." Rory said hanging up the phone.
Walking out of the Apartment building Rory runs into Jess.
"Hey." He says to her as he begins to walk into the building, " Where are you headed?" he asks.
"You won't believe it but I'm off to rescue our family members from US Immigration." She said simply.
" No way." He said standing in shock. "That's way to easy. Your kidding."
"No Joke. My mother has joined the Jail House Rock entourage. Along with your uncle and cousin."
"Man, I wish I could see this. But our flight leaves in two hours."
"Its ok I have everything handled."
"Never a boring moment with the Gilmore's."
" Keep walking Marino, I'll see you later." She said smiling.
"Bye. Gilmore."
