Chapter 14 Just Walk Away

Brenda, Kelly and Donna laughed as they came through the front door of Dylan's house. They had been shopping and Brenda had welcomed the much needed girls day out. For the last 3 days, Brenda had been working at the Peach Pit as Laverne, keeping Dylan's house together and trying to get Dylan some help with finding Suzanne and Erica. She had a small lead from the private investigator and she had also spoken with Olivia. In between yelling at Brenda and telling her what a dumb mistake it was she was not coming back to school she did give Brenda the most amazing contact for Dylan. His name was J. Jay "Jonesy" Jones. Brenda had called him, left a message but had yet to hear back from him. Olivia's father who is a producer in music industry, a few years back he had a trusted assistant that had turned out to be anything but trusting. Olivia's father's assistant had taken over 5 million dollars from him and disappeared. Jonesy was able to find the assistant and get Olivia's father back almost all of the money taken from him, for a fee of course. Olivia had been honest with Brenda, Jonesy wasn't cheap but Brenda also knew Dylan had close to 10 million dollars coming back to him. With interest and the few investments Jim Walsh had done for him, it may have been more and she thought she knew Dylan well enough to know finding Erica, getting his money back and catching Suzanne would be worth it.

Brenda groaned as she plopped down on the couch. "Uh…I am so not the waitress type. My feet are killing me…working a double and then shopping, what I would give to have Dylan here to massage my feet." Brenda rubbed down the ball of her foot.

Kelly and Donna laughed, "I can't believe you brought Laverne out of retirement and is it my imagination or is she more…" Donna stopped for lack of a better word than what she was thinking.

"Raunchy?" Kelly said with a smile.

Brenda laughed out loud and shrugged, "Well hell…she is a lot more experienced…older…flirtier. And besides, we need money, this Laverne brings almost triple what she used to."

The girls laughed, Brenda scrapped herself from the couch and walked over to the mail table and started flipping through. She took a deep breath seeing her playful mood quickly disappear, "Bills suck." She mumbled as she looked through Dylan's mail.

"Tell me about it. We had no idea what it was like or how much it cost to actually live in L.A." Kelly said leaning her back against the couch. "The beach apartment is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it, my brother…your man, is actually a smart guy living at home. He has got it made…Hey I am hungry you guys want pizza?" Brenda said not looking up.

"Oh yeah…that sounds good." Donna pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the phone, "Pepperoni ok?"

"Veggie please." Kelly said with a smile.

Brenda looked at Donna quickly, "half and half?" Brenda said with a shrug.

"You got it, my treat." Donna began to dial as Brenda noticed a letter from the Malibu Treatment center.

She stared down at the letter and smiled. "Let me guess, a letter from a certain Mr. McKay?" Kelly joked noticing the smile right away.

Brenda blushed a little and nodded, "Finally." she said sighing.

"Well read it." Kelly said being nosey.

"Nah…I will wait…sometimes Dylan's letters are…better if I read them alone." in bed she thought.

Kelly smiled as her mouth dropped, "Ewww you're bad."

Brenda shrugged, "Yep…sad but true." As Kelly laughed, Brenda set down the mail and went and joined Kelly on the couch. This had really been the best day. She made over three hundred dollars in tips, Nat had been elated, considering his silent partner had been MIA for months and business had been bad. Brenda needed the money to pay for utilities and food, anything to help Dylan out plus Laverne was fun and she always felt like she was performing. It made the job easier and wasn't a constant reminder of possibly doing it for what seemed like forever. She had gone shopping, bought a couple new outfits she knew Dylan would love and they were on sale and just being with her old friends was enough. Being out of it the year before and not feeling completely in the loop with her friends was apparent and now it was like she had never left. Brenda knew the change was due to the fact, Kelly was content and happy with Brandon and Brenda had Dylan again. Even though Brenda never tried purposely to come between Dylan and Kelly, they all knew she did. Brenda pretended to forgive Kelly for betraying her but deep inside Brenda would never forget. The pressure was off, there was no hard feelings, no awkwardness, it was like old times and Brenda could not have been any happier.

"So Don…fill me in about David?" Brenda brought both legs under her and listened intently.

Donna sighed, "Well things are a little better. He recently started dating my roommate." Donna eyebrows lifted as she smirked and looked at Kelly who in return shook her head with a smile and looked down.

"WHAT?" Brenda said shocked.

"Yep…David and Claire are an item…it was weird at first but yeah I don't really care." Donna shrugged, "Let her deal with him. I mean obviously I couldn't give David what he wanted. I am not going to change who I am for him. If he doesn't respect my decision then he doesn't deserve me." Donna said securely.

"Good for you Don, I am glad things have changed since the last time we had discussed this before I left for the summer. I am proud of you." Brenda said with a smile.

"Well thank you. So Bren…tell me how you and Dylan became you and Dylan again." Donna smirked.

Brenda looked down shyly with a smile and then made eye contact with Donna again, "What do you mean? We talked and want to give us another chance."

"No…no, I mean before that, I mean last year. You have been totally keeping us in the dark about the two of you and obviously something happened before you went off to London."

Brenda looked back and forth between the girls who were clearly leaning in to get the dirt, "I don't know Don." Brenda tried to brush it off with the fact she didn't feel all that comfortable telling Kelly she had jumped into bed with Dylan a couple days after they had broken up.

"Oh come on. Why? You used to tell us everything about you and Dylan, well at least the good girly stuff." Donna pleaded.

Brenda looked at Donna and sighed, "I don't know, its different now."

Donna's eyes shifted to Kelly along with Brenda's and Kelly noticed, "Whoa wait, because of me? Oh Brenda come on, the day after Dylan and I broke up, I was on a plane to see Brandon. Hello."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Alright…alright." Brenda shrugged, "The day before the dreadful Ariel and David escapade." Donna rolled her eyes, "Dylan and I had spent a really cool day together at the CU carnival. We hung out, we laughed, we talked about London and overall just had a good time. I can't even remember the last time I had laughed that hard. We danced, we held hands, we shared a couple glances and…well eye sex." Donna and Kelly laughed. "It was like old times, after you spent the night and we talked about me leaving and you and David, I remember seeing Brandon on TV meeting the president and just for a second I realized how proud my parents have always been of him and how much I had driven them crazy the last couple years, the saga with Dylan and Mexico, going to the University of Minnesota and then dropping out, the whole jail thing and almost marrying Stuart. I felt like a failure and even after I had spent that time with Dylan I realized I had to go, that was why, I had to prove myself and make them see I wasn't a failure at all." Brenda looked down realizing what she was saying.

Donna and Kelly swallowed hard and looked at each other, then looked back at her, "Then why aren't you going back?" Kelly said honestly. "I mean Bren, I love having you here of course but isn't it the same thing?"

"No…because at that time flirting and eye sex wasn't a relationship, I went to Dylan's that night and told him what I was feeling about my parents and Brandon. I told him I was still in love with him and he felt the same. So the week before I left we were back together, we took off exactly where we left off except this time we were closer, we were older, we were more connected. Leaving him now is different." Brenda held in her tears but both girls saw them water up.

Brenda looked down and silence fell around the room. The doorbell sounded and all three girls slowly looked toward it. "Pizza." Donna said breaking the ice.

The girls gave out a tired laugh that sounded more like a sigh and welcomed the interruption. After having some dinner, watching a movie and gossiping the girls said their goodbyes agreeing to meet up the next day for some more bonding. Kelly and Donna had a sorority fund raiser and Brenda had agreed to help out. After saying goodbye to the girls and cleaning up the mess they had made, Brenda changed into her pajamas and finally was able to curl up and read Dylan's letter.

Brenda began to read and from the start of it she knew. As she read through she got a sudden familiar feeling. Her stomach felt like it was in knots and she felt sick. Not only did Dylan dump her again, in a letter, she had just spent the majority of the last few days, justifying her reasoning's for staying. Justifying her love for him and explaining how different it was. It wasn't different, he checked out on her...again. Brenda shook her head and to her surprise she didn't cry. Maybe there was only a certain amount of tears you can give to one person and Dylan exceeded his limit. Maybe Brenda was too hurt and over it to cry. Brenda wasn't feeling anything; the only thing Brenda knew was that she had a flight to catch tomorrow. There was one thing for sure, if Dylan didn't think it was the right time then she wasn't going to stick around to have him remind her. The thing that was pissing Brenda off was that she understood to a point why Dylan was doing it and saying what he was saying, but why everything else then. Why beg her to stay? Why put her in a position to get hurt all over again, for rejection from him again.

"I will wait for you Bren…yeah right." Brenda said to herself. Brenda crumbled the letter and tossed it on the table. She got up and began packing up her stuff. He did her a favor, she thought, it wasn't meant to be, there is always something with us, the bottom always falls out from under us. Brenda's head turned as the phone began to ring. She had a weird feeling and she began to walk toward it, gripping her shirt she was about to pack against her chest. The answering machine kicked on and after the beep her feeling was right.

"Bren? Brenda…are you there?" Dylan said desperate.

He sighed loudly, "You must be out and about. I am sure you have received my letter by now. I know your plane leaves tomorrow but I wasn't sure what time. If you have time come say good bye to me. Usually there are no visitors allowed besides the occasional family days but I had Ellen clear you. Please come Bren…it would mean a lot if I got to actually say good bye to you this time. I thought originally your plane left at noon. Hopefully that is right. Alright well, hopefully I will see you tomorrow." Silence filled the room as Brenda's eyes teared up, guess her theory was wrong. "Love you Bren…bye." He whispered as the phone clicked.

Brenda stood there staring at the machine as tears streamed her face. She took a deep breath and walked back into Dylan's bedroom and continued to pack her belongings. She got more and more angry, she started folding things and then she found herself throwing them in her suitcase. His message was so nonchalant, no big deal. Come to say goodbye, she thought. Brenda threw a pair of jeans into her suitcase and exhaled. She shook her head and ran both hands through her hair in frustration.

**

Brenda sat on the couch; her family would be there in about twenty minutes to bring her to the airport. It wasn't hard to tell them she had decided to go back. They didn't ask questions and Brenda didn't give any answers. Brenda did tell Brandon though, because he asked. He knew there was a reason for the change and Brandon acted like a good brother and felt bad for her even though he was glad she decided to go back. Dylan by now she assumed knew she wasn't coming. She couldn't, she was angry and hurt and Brenda thought of herself for once and took the selfish road. She wasn't going to get sucked back in. The truth was if she looked into his eyes, she wouldn't be able to leave. She could fall in love with him over and over just by looking into them. She refused and wouldn't be a sobbing idiot, she wouldn't show him exactly what he did to her. Brenda knew Dylan was right, she knew he needed to concentrate on himself but she would have helped him. She wanted to help him. She wanted to help him and be involved in finding Erica. She wanted to take care of him, she always did. Brenda took a deep breath realizing that she was mad at him but she did have some things to tell him. She pouted all the way to where Dylan kept paper and a pen, pouting at herself for being to nice to him. She wrote him a note, told him about Jonesy, told him which bills she had paid and left a few other things as well. When Brenda finished laying things out for him her parents had finally arrived. As Brandon took her suitcase and bag to the car Brenda set Dylan's car keys on the table and took one more look around his house. Brenda took a deep breath and closed the door…on the past and on Dylan and just walked away.

**

Dylan swallowed hard looking at his watch. They had never came to get him. He let them know where he was going to be, which group sessions he had going on and nothing. Dylan walked past the front desk.

"Hey…no visitors?" he asked quietly.

The woman smiled knowing what was going on. Ellen had to clear Brenda and she had told the receptionist why they were making an exception this time. "No…I am sorry, what time was she leaving?"

"Twelve."

The woman looked at the clock seeing it was almost noon. She nodded and watched Dylan sadly walk away. Dylan was miserable and even though he wasn't positive if she had gone back, he knew she did and knew she probably wasn't that happy about it or him more so. Dylan knew Brenda well enough to know how she would react to things, he just had hoped she didn't. Dylan decided to write her another letter, by the time she got it, she would be back, settled and maybe she would have cooled off if she was sincerely angry at him. He was going to have to explain to her, it wasn't because he didn't love her, it was because he did. How do you make someone believe it though being so far away?

*sigh* I love them, its hard to break them up. Just to warn you, I know most of you are Brenda fans, which I am as well of course, the coming chapters will show Brenda how she truly was a times, stubborn as a mule. So please don't get mad at her or me : ) she will come around…eventually. What's a story without a little angst or maybe a lot. Please review, you guys are slacking lol lol and thanks to the regulars, you know who you are and I love ya for it.