Welcome back to my first School for Good and Evil fan fiction. This here was different and challenging to write due to the fact it was written without any layout like the first chapter. This is not meant to offend or upset people. Its purely for comedic purposes and I advise anyone to sit back and have a good laugh. Please enjoy.
..: Two Foxes and a Roach :..
Zipping through the forest, a navy blue fox sprinted across the dense trees as a roach latched on for dear life. Tedros the Fox had planned to meet with Sophie in the woods so the two could confess their love, but something had become amiss.
He soon splashed from the brushes, landing with a skid in the clearing, greeted by an open sky. He reared on his hind legs while Agatha the roach waved her cowboy hat.
"Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!" The roach chirped.
The moon illuminated a monolithic castle made of crystal; its towers aiming up towards the stars above. Beautifully molded for any princess's fairy tale.
The School for Good.
There was another dirtier castle across for Evil, but eh . . .
Agatha raised her face to the sky as the moist air collected over her. What should be a cold night, she felt warmth as Tedros' aroma filled her with comfort and security.
She tugged on his fur and he steered toward the right. Then the left. Soon the navy blue fox, with Agatha the roach riding in his furry nape, trotted up the steps to the School for Good. The palace walls gleamed from the moon light. Ghostly blue brighten the hallways just enough to lead them to a classroom left unlocked.
Agatha recognized the place. It was Professor Dovey's class; haunting during the dead of night and eerily silent until—
"Who are you?" Tedros mumbled deeply. He didn't seem pleased with her presence. "I said who are you?" His voice higher with frustration.
"AGATHA!" Shouted an angry Sophie, her voice rang from the Blue Brooks and penetrated the castle walls. Several glass trinkets on the shelves rattled.
"I'm—I'm Agatha . . ." The roach whispered loud enough for Tedros to hear. His pointy ears perked. Agatha felt the fox's muscles tense.
"Agatha?" he mumbled rather acidly. "And what were you doing in the woods?" Tedros growled, his voice grew venomous. His fur gently stood on end around the roach, like teeth of a carnivorous fly-trap closing in on her.
"I was helping Sophie." Agatha admitted. She went over the plan she and her dilapidated friend concocted for the meet-up as Tedros listened patiently, pacing slowly around the class. "She needed me to feed her lines she could recite to you."
"So . . . those words didn't come from Sophie's heart?" Tedros said. His head drooped in a depressing state.
"I'm afraid so . . ." Agatha responded, feeling the lump in her throat swell. How could she have done this? Why did she get herself to participate in her friend's charade? She pet the poor fox. "I'm sorry . . ."
It was strange. Just this morning, she hated this guy. Hated him so much, she contemplated numerous acts of violence towards him. Sophie's kiss were to take the two girls back to Gavaldon, leaving Tedros to sorrow alone. Agatha was looking forward to it. She wanted to laugh maniacally in his face as they floated away and vanish into thin air. Assuming if they floated away and vanished, that is. End spoiler.
That all changed somehow. It was that moment when Tedros called her name, rather than Sophie's. A moment that made her felt . . . wanted. She daydreamed of hurting him but was it really hurting? Perhaps, deep down, Agatha liked the guy. Maybe even . . . love him.
Or her eagerness to harm him could be a sadistic fetish she has over Tedros.
I wonder if Tedros is a masochist. Agatha thought.
The world may never know.
The two stood in silence, allowing Tedros to take everything in. He fiddled with a burlap sack sitting in the corner of the class with his paws. A blue neatly folded shirt peaked from the opening.
"Did you—did you instruct Sophie to—"
"Eh, no . . . that was all Sophie." The roach knew exactly what he meant. Annoyed her friend would go to such lengths.
Sophie will pay.
"Oh," Tedros blushed. "Well, thank you for being honest with me . . . uh—"
"Agatha!" She reminded the prince.
"Right, Agatha." The pretty fox padded his paws on the floor awkwardly. "Mind if I escort you back to your room?"
Agatha's heart skipped a beat. "N—no, not at all. Please."
The fox pressed open the door and stealthily snaked through the halls and to the Purity Tower. All seemed well as they head up the steps until they reached the first landing.
The fox and roach began to feel strange.
The two collapsed, falling from their sudden weight. Agatha barely tapped her right knee on the marble floor, ringing a hollow thud throughout the hall. They clambered to their feet to find they where both no longer fox or roach, but bare human beings. One, a handsome blond lad with magnificent packs and perfect skin; the other, a pale girl, short and narrow with an inky black bob hair. The two looked at one another and felt like Adam and Eve. The blood burned to their faces.
"Hurry!" Tedros whispered harshly, taking hold of the girl's hand. With Agatha limping behind, they hasted up the remaining steps, praying no one—especially the fairy guards—would spot them. They could only hear the sounds of their moist naked feet padding across the marble floors. They desperately scanned the corners; both low and above just to be sure until the two arrived near the top of the tower.
"Over there!" The girl wheezed, pointing at a dark wooden door with cruel words engrave on it.
Tedros lifted Agatha in his arms and bolted ahead so blindly, they flew shoulders first through door 51. A loud crash roared on impacted before barricading themselves in. The two listened for only a moment. The echo receded and the halls went quiet again. With their back pressed against the door, they keeled over for some heavy breather.
That moment of recovery ended when the prince cleared his wind-pipe with a cough. Agatha jolted up and crossed her knees. She covered most of her delicate regions with her arms and hands. Tedros took notice and too hid himself.
The two brighten like tomatoes.
"We should get dressed." Agatha mumbled bashfully.
"Y—yeah . . ." Tedros meekly responded.
They focused their view elsewhere as best they could but found it difficult to stop seeing one another from the blurry corners of their eyes.
Agatha backed away, still facing the handsome boy so she wouldn't expose her rump to him. She collided with the wardrobe behind her and quickly reached her flailing hand blindly for the knob.
"I'll just dress in here." She said, quickly darting in.
"Y—yeah . . ." Tedros again responded.
The wardrobe snapped shut and sounds of more bumping and shaking occurred.
While Agatha clumsily dressed in pitch black, Tedros took a blanket from the bed and covered himself. He had left his clothes in Professor Dovey's class; it slipped his mind once he decided to be chivalrous.
He examined the girl's domain. From where he took the blanket stood one disheveled bed that Agatha clearly slept in, two mattresses set up like a fort in one corner, a desk and shelf in the opposite corner and a wobbling wardrobe near the entrance.
To Tedros' surprise, it appeared Agatha was the only one occupying the dorm. Normally, three students were assigned to share a room, yet Agatha had it to herself. Tedros didn't think about her roommates when he barged it. But she had none.
Curiosity led the naked prince toward the desk, riddled with mass of papers. They weren't school work, Tedros noticed. They were stories—written by Agatha.
Was this legal? Shouldn't the Storian be the only thing to write tales? Tedros got a slight headache for thinking too deep.
The prince leaned forward and poked through some of her writings, reading off titles such as: Tedros' High School, One Tedros Direction, Gossip Tedros, Pretty Little Tedros, iTedros, Tedros-Twilight, and Fifty Shades of Tedros.
The prince snorted.
For a girl whom he thought hated his guts, she sure was obsessed.
The handle on the wardrobe clanked and the door creaked opened. Tedros stepped away from the desk, tightening the blanket over him. Agatha's bare foot stepped out, soon followed by pale lanky legs with one knee bruising. Peaking from the edge of the door, Agatha exited with only an over-sized blouse that reach the center of her thighs.
Tedros gulped.
Was she even wearing . . .?
Agatha looked so timid and secluded. Her oily black hair draped over one of her eyes. She parsed her lips, thinking of something to say but found nothing to break the ice. That's when she noticed Tedros was hiding in her favorite blanket.
"Are you dressed . . . or—?"
"I left my clothes in the class!" Tedros blurted, ashamed to admit his forgetfulness.
Agatha's eyes darted away, holding back her smile. "I don't have anything you could wear—unless you want to run around the school in drag?"
"No, no . . ." Tedros smirked.
The two stood in silence. No tension, no animosity, no anything. At least nothing negative.
Agatha looked up at the prince and realized he was staring back at her. Her heart fluttered.
"What?" She asked, the smile escaped.
"It's just . . ." Tedros shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "I mean how was it you were able to come up with convincing words?"
"What are you talking about?"
"In the woods," Tedros reminded her. "Helping Sophie."
"Oh, well I figure I'd—" Agatha stopped. She really had no idea. It was all unscripted and off the cuff.
"Unless those words did come from the heart," Tedros said, "Your heart."
Speaking of hearts, Agatha's sank.
"What makes you say that?" She barked in defense.
"You fed them to Sophie, right?" Tedros asked.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean I meant it."
"It did come from you—?"
"But not like that!"
"C'mon—"
"No! You're delirious! Just because I said them, doesn't mean I like you?"
"Then where did you get them from?"
"From those stupid fairy tales you people obsess over!"
Obsess.
Tedros glanced over the desk and back just in time to witness Agatha's reaction. Her face was in cold shock. Her eyes quickly glossed with tears.
"Please leave." She asked meekly. Her lips trembled.
"Agatha—"
"No!"
She looked up at him, eyes piercing with sorrow. Tedros was a head taller than she was, yet she felt more dominating. She wanted him to yield—but he wouldn't.
To her surprise, the prince placed the palm of his hand over her burning cheek. His thumb gently wiping away her tears.
"AGATHA!" came Sophie's deranged roar from the woods.
The two jumped.
The blanket slipped from Tedros shoulders. He manage to catch it before it fell pass his waist. His upper body was open to the world and to Agatha it appeared. He felt a tinge of awkwardness.
Agatha glowed red.
"W—why do you care?" She finally said.
"Care for what?"
"About what I said—or if I meant it?"
Only the low howling wind responded to that.
"Honestly, I don't know."
Tedros and Agatha jumped into each other, their faces mended. Lips locked, slapping and lathering, madly salivating every moment of it. Thick drool gooped and sprayed on the floor, walls, and even ceiling—because girls love romance stories of couples who refuse to admit they love each other arguing before a spontaneous kissing session pops out of nowhere without buildup . . . nah, I'm just kidding. Let's start that over.
"W—why do you care?" She finally said.
"Care for what?"
"About what I said—or if I meant it?"
Only the low howling wind responded to that.
"Honestly, I don't—"
"Wait!" Agatha perked. "What happened?"
"Uh . . ." Tedros blanked out, unsure what she meant.
"Huh. Deja-vu . . ."
The two Evers sat beside each other, skimming off some of the stories Agatha has written. She was hesitate at first, but she eventually caved. Desperate to share her art and quite possibly her feelings.
Tedros was given the privilege to read at least one of them.
Agatha handed him one page from an upcoming story she had thought of, filled with scribbles and ink checks on the corners of the page.
Tedros took it.
"So what do you think Quests for Glory is going be like?" Agatha asked.
Her words left them in long silence.
"Not sure. But, whatever it may be, I'm sure your tales far exceeds it." Tedros said, holding up the page. He began to skim.
The literature looked to have been written by a child—the handwriting was so atrocious, Tedros could feel his eyes ready to sink in, worried if he continued on, he'll end up dangerously emaciated.
He glanced at Agatha and wish he hadn't. She looked so happy. Her eyes gleamed like shiny marbles. Eagerly awaiting what he thought of her work.
Tedros returned to the story and bit his lip like a pregnant woman chewing on a bag of humans.
'The Quests for Glory begins at the base of your friend's penis—'
LOLWUT!?
Agatha took hold of Tedros face and locked lips with his.
"W—what the hell? I'm trying to read!" Tedros blurted.
Agatha eyes grew hungry.
"It was . . . getting good . . ." Tedros barely mumbled.
Tedros pressed forward his kiss to her lips. A tad chapped but soft enough for comfort. Their foreheads touched as the two laid over the bed, Agatha on top. The page slipped from Tedros fingers as the wind took it from him and delivered it through the open window. Neither of whom cared for it was a shitty story.
Agatha trained for this moment. She practiced her kissing with nectarines, her other kissing technique on bananas, and hone her caressing talents with a pair of kumquats. Don't think too far into this, kids.
Agatha lifted her over-sized shirt and indeed, she was not wearing that. The blanket opened from Tedros torso and other unmentionables. The cool breeze gave the two stark naked lovers goosebumps.
Agatha dipped forward and sucked into Tedros' clavicle, drawing away with a wet smooch.
"What the hell is a clavicle?" Tedros whispered.
"Read a dictionary, dumb ass." The pale girl respond without looking up. She continued to peck kisses over the tender body of her new boy toy. She mingled further down the prince's stomach, then below his naval, each new smooch wetter than the last. She looked up at the prince with longing eyes, grazing her fingernails just above the surface of his brilliant packs, raking the peach fuzz on his delectable tummy. Goosebumps swelled over Tedros, leaving him compelled by Agatha's unproven talents.
Agatha continued, taking in the very thing she craved for that really shouldn't be in your mouth . . . dot dot dot.
"Oh!" Tedros gasped.
Agatha smiled, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "You liked that, huh?" She said on cue.
"Huh? Oh no, well, I meant the clavicle is actually the scientific term for collarbone." He said, holding up a small reader's digest on the very subject.
Agatha yanked the book from Tedros' hands and chucked it out the window across from her.
"AGATHA!" Screeched a derange Sophie. The mad rabies infested pink fox leaped in through the open window. Mid-flight, the spine of the book sludged Sophie's snout with great strength that the furry thing flung back out, falling from who-knows how many stories it is from Agatha's room
"What was that?" Tedros began, but she didn't answer. Instead she towered over him, giving her prince a new found smile; one he never seen before.
In the hallways of the main floor, walked a handsome lad accompanying his shorter female companion from behind with his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his chin resting on the top of her head. Everything was peaceful as they neared the exit of the School for Good.
"You didn't have to walk me out, y'know." The girl said rather cheeky but flattered.
"Better me than the fairies." He replied.
The girl looked up and met his gray eyes. She blushed more than she wanted to, so she fell back on him, forcing the boy to bare her weight.
"Hes!" Chaddick chuckled.
"Am I too heavy?" Hester beamed.
The two waddled ahead outside. The cool night was impeccable, even for someone like Hester, who hated anything beautiful, gleamy, and cute.
There was one exception however.
"Alright, this is as far as I go," said the boy. "Don't be a stranger, kid."
Hester walked out of his grasps but couldn't help stop in place to look back. He stood there, tall, proud, and immaculate. Despite there stark differences. She was destine to be evil, and he was to be good. Yet somehow, some way, the two managed.
What they say about these kinds of romances couldn't be true. Hester knew in the back of her mind their relationship was nothing like Sophie and Tedros. Their relationship couldn't be a great risk to the school as Sophie's.
Sophie had to trick her prince. Tedros was a borderline dumb ass.
These two on the other hand, they just . . . build up from the early days of the school year. No tricks, no magic, no bribes, not one deception. Their's was legitimate.
But what if the rules still applied.
"I love you." Hester whispered. She almost choke up. Not once has she ever said those words to him as she watched as Chaddick straighten up, almost iconic.
"I love you too."
Hester's heart drummed painfully in her chest. Then she lost it. Her eyes weld up with tears.
Dammit. Why?
Chaddick didn't mind. He braced her tightly and she accepted gracefully. She didn't want to let go ever again.
Of course the rules didn't apply to them. They've kissed hundreds of times and nothing drastic ever happened. All that was truly missing . . . was a fandom to support them.
Maybe one more, just to be sure.
Tedros gently dropped over Agatha's body with his face buried in the pillow beside her head. Both breathing profusely after one hell of a ride. Their hair and body were drenched with sweat. Every moment what something to be admired. For Agatha, even the burning first time pain was soothing.
Maybe I'm the masochist in this relationship.
They cleaned themselves in silence . . . an awkward silence.
Tedros worried perhaps she didn't enjoy it, however Agatha was already scheduling their next assignation the following night. Or perhaps during lunch . . . maybe breakfast.
"So how was it?" Tedros asked, hoping to get the truth out right away for his own sake.
"It was nice." She replied, patting her legs dry.
Tedros felt relieved but instantly knew: nice wasn't good enough. NEVER!
"What can I do to make it better?" He continued.
"I dunno . . ." Agatha mumbled. "Drink more water!"
"Huh?"
Agatha turned to the naked prince, no longer phased by his nudity. "Well, your . . . semen isn't as fluid as I hoped."
"Please tell me we're talking about fisherman." Said the prince's, his stubborn face burned red. That soon dropped once Agatha batted her eyes.
Damn cutey.
"Okay, I'll—"
"Also try taking some Lecithin Granules and L-Arginine" She continued on excitedly. "It increases your sperm count by a lot."
This left Tedros in awe.
"How do you know all this?"
The two stood quiet.
"Cause . . ."
"Cause?"
"Hester told me Chaddick takes them."
Now an even longer silence bridge them apart.
"Okay—now how does Hester know what Chaddick takes?"
"I think they smoke pot together or something." Agatha said.
"Alright, let's just end the chapter here!"
"NO!" Agatha blurted, trotting over to Tedros and held his hands. "I wanted to ask for one favor."
"Uh . . . sure." said Tedros. "Anything."
The following morning was exactly as anyone would expect.
Sophie wondered around with some rather severe boo-boos, which many have ask her about.
"Oh, just some cosmetic errors." She explained.
Meanwhile, Hester and Anadil had to endure some funny talk floating around the school about the two. Something about being lesbians. The albino girl charged at the only person she believed started the rumor.
"It was you, wasn't it?" Anadil demanded, slamming her hands on the table.
Dot nearly choked on her chocolate cake and dashed away in confusion.
"I swear, I didn't tell anyone your secret!" Dot cried. That secret of course involved rats.
Hester on the other hand paid no mind and was more so concerned that she may have missed her period.
But oh so cray-cray the students be damn, the School for Good and Evil was about to get a load out of this. Even its alumni would be shocked if they saw what was just about to happen . . . Tink sucks.
"You ready?" Tedros asked Agatha. The two stood by, just out of sight of their fellow students.
She could only nod. Deep down, Agatha was a wreck, worried if this would be a bad idea. Tedros dating her could very well be received far worse than if he went with Sophie? She wasn't exactly the most liked individual in the School for Good.
"The only problem I have on my shoulder is how am I suppose to explain the whole Sophie situation to people?" Tedros said. This took Agatha's attention away from her own problems, realizing this is something they both had to do together.
"Just tell them you came to your senses and decided to break it off."
"And how do I tell that to Sophie?"
Agatha looked ahead. Sophie was sitting at the far corner on the clearing, sipping away at her tea. She appeared to have had a bad night. "Just let her down easy."
"Can't! I have to be as cold-blooded as possible." Tedros said.
Agatha giggle at the thought of having a tyrant for a boyfriend, but deep down, she knew he was harmless as a twink.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I was the one who made Sophie bleed." Agatha chimed.
"I knew you shot that arrow at her." Tedros smiled.
"What? No!"
"I'm joking." Tedros took her hand.
Her cheeks turned a soft pink.
"It's time to fulfill that favor."
With their hands locked, the two walked out to the bright open clearing, letting all to witness their new found love.
Now I have a spare chapter sitting around (unfinished) involving Hester and Chaddick, but I dunno if I wanna sorta kinda feel like it doing it. Uhhnn . . .
The School for Good and Evil and its characters are the property of Soman Chainani. This fan-fiction is written under fair-use.
