5 Things That Never Happened To Palpatine


I


The shuttle from Coruscant descended on Naboo. It landed right in front of the triumphant warriors as Captain Panaka said to the Neimoidian, "I think you can kiss your trade routes goodbye."

Then the ramp lowered. The first man off was an older man who wore a look of defeat. His face was one very familiar to the Naboo.

The Queen of Naboo, Padmé Amidala, strode forward and said to the man, "I'm sorry, Senator."

Palpatine looked at her. "The Senate made their decision; what more can be asked?" He added, "At least they made a decision."

Queen Amidala nodded. Then she spoke to the other man who descended the ramp. "Congratulations, Chancellor Antilles."

The Alderaanian smiled at her. "Your boldness saved your people, Your Majesty; it is you who deserves congratulation." He paused, then said, "I have always been a friend to Naboo, and this, I hope, changes nothing. I am interested in...shall we say, sweeping reforms against the bureaucracy that rules the Senate now. I shall need all the assistance I can get, however. Do I have your support?" He offered the Queen his hand.

She warmly shook it. "Shall we get started, Chancellor? We have much to do."

"Clear now, the boy's fate has become, Obi-Wan. A great Jedi, he will be. Decided, the Council and I have, that young Skywalker may be trained. Do you wish to be his Master?"

"I do."


II


The Palpatines stood in their villa on Naboo, smiling at their son. He was well on his way to a promising career in politics, they could tell; his command of Basic was impeccable, and he'd already learned several other languages well enough to pass as a native child of the respective world.

Then, at the door, there were was a man. He was robed in dark attire, and he had a suspicious air to him. "Hello, Master Palpatine," the man said to the father. "I am Darth Plagueis. May I see your son?"

The parents looked at each other briefly, communicating through looks as they had learned to do. They looked at the man and said, "No, we don't think so. He's asleep, and we don't want to wake him."

"But I must insist..." he tried to move past them. They didn't budge.

"Sir, my finger is on the alert button. Half the Naboo Security Force is in the pub next door. Do you really think it wise to upset us, Master Plagueis?"

Plagueis decided that it was not worth it. "As you wish, Master Palpatine. Good night." As the Sith Lord walked away, he thought, oh, well. There are thousands of possibilities for an apprentice in this galaxy. So what if one isn't an option?


III


"Sir, if I may be so bold, might I test my lightsaber abilities against yours?" The Jedi Knight asked.

"Alright, my friend. Ignite your saber." The two blades ignited into colors of gold and blue. They each saluted the other. And then they began.

The Knight's blue blade began by stabbing towards the Jedi Master, then catching his defense on the inside. The Master smirked, and spun his gold blade upside down, throwing the Knight's blade outside his guard. Then the golden lightsaber spun first above towards the shoulders, then below to the knees. The Knight parried all of these easily.

The master rolled under the Knight as the Knight leapt upward, blades sparking as they met.

Then the Knight stood, blocking an assault from the singing gold plasma.

The blue blade swung high, moving for the Master's head. The Master moved to parry easily. He did so.

And then he nearly lost his hand to the Knight's blade as it bounced off the gold saber—faster than Master Yoda's could ever move—and swept around his guard to his wrist. Only a split-second reaction saved his hand from a painful burn. Then that parry was bent around and nearly sliced the Knight's robes open.

Smiling, the Knight spun into an underhand swipe. The blue blade moved towards the Master's legs, but his gold blade parried the assault. Then the Knight held his handle upside down and, spinning the other way, swung the blade, backhanded, towards the other's blade. It blew through the Master's defenses and arrived at his neck. Smiling, the Master extinguished his blade.

"Good; very good. I think you stole that guard-bounce from Master Yoda. And I also think you stole that back-handed move from the Troll," the Master smiled.

The Knight smiled, too. "I'm not stealing from them—I'm learning from them."

"Ahhh. You missed your calling. You could have been quite the diplomat with that skill at evasion and word-twisting."

"And what about you? You have the patience—I prefer...aggressive negotiations to 12-hours-a-day, 5-days-a-week talks."

Then a short figure approached. "Ready to speak with the Council, are you, Skywalker?"

"Yes, Master Yoda. Would you care for a rematch, Master Palpatine? I might let you win next time."

"Oh, get away from me, you nuisance, you," Jedi Master Palpatine laughed at Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. "Have fun with the Council." He knew what Skywalker was being called before the Council for; Mastery and Council seating. Perhaps he'd take up his fellow Jedi Master on that rematch challenge...


IV


"At an end, your rule is." Yoda took a fighting stance. "And not short enough it was." Palpatine leapt to the door.

Where Yoda waited. "If so powerful, you are," he said snidely as he ignited a green saber, "why leave?"

"You will not stop me. Darth Vader shall become more powerful than either one of us," he spat as he lit his crimson blade.

"Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced, may be. As is your faith in the Dark Side of the Force." Yoda saluted.

Palpatine rose his blade to come down in a sweeping stroke. But before he could, Yoda leapt inside his guard.

Then there was a burning sensation in his chest.

Then nothing at all.


V


The turbolift buzzed below him. He knew that young Skywalker and Lord Vader had exited the turbolift. A voice projected—Vader's. "Guards. Leave us." He heard the retreating footsteps of the Royal Guard—they knew better than to contest Vader's will.

The Emperor's Throne rotated to face them. "Welcome, young Skywalker. I've been expecting you. You no longer need..." He paused. Skywalker had no binders on. This is not as I have foreseen. Then green plasma appeared in Skywalker's hand, followed by a blood-colored blade in Vader's. Hmm. This could be a problem.

Vader only said, "Treachery is the way of the Sith."