Chapter 21 I Did It To Protect You

Brenda set down some clothes on her bed. She was packing a bag for the weekend. She knew she wouldn't be able to come and go as she pleased once they had began the Kevin and Suzanne strategy so now that her rehearsal and classes were done she was getting ready for the much hesitant weekend. Brenda didn't know how the weekend was going to go, she wanted to help Dylan but because of what happened the night before she assumed things would be awkward with him and to add salt to the wounds, Valerie was due at Heathrow airport in two hours. Anything could happen but something told her this weekend was going to be very…very interesting. A soft knock on her door took her mind off packing. She went and opened it and saw Dylan staring back at her. He gave her a soft smile in which Brenda returned.

"Come on in, I am almost ready." Brenda without making too much eye contact allowed him entry.

"Take your time I am kind of early." Dylan said cool and relaxed as he made his way in. He looked around and sat on her computer chair.

Brenda opened up her closet in search of an overnight type bag. She felt his eyes on her and the more and more he stared at her the more nervous she became. She turned having no luck finding a bag and made eye contact with him. She looked down quickly, "Dylan…about last night…" Brenda looked back at him, she had to explain something, or say something about it or she wouldn't survive the weekend.

Dylan looked down quickly, "Bren…you turned me down once, I don't need to hear it again." His voice was filled with sadness and regret and Brenda felt guilty.

Brenda tilted her head as she stared at him, "I didn't turn you down…it's just not fair to Mike.

Dylan shook his head, "I don't want to hear about Mike." He said hardheartedly.

"Dylan, I haven't heard from you in months. I'm just supposed to dump my boyfriend because you are in town? It doesn't work like that." Brenda almost pleaded; she just wanted him to understand where she was coming. "It's not that I don't…" Brenda looked down as Olivia opened the door.

Dylan took a deep breath seeing as though Olivia interrupted, not that you don't what, he thought. Dylan thought about something else she had said, she hadn't heard from him in months? He was the one who hadn't heard back from her. She never wrote him back.

"Sorry." Olivia said feeling guilty, it was obvious she had interrupted and her first thought was to rewind.

Brenda shook her head looking down at her clothes, "It's cool…hey…do you know where my black duffle bag is?" Brenda changed the subject.

Olivia gave her a guilty smile, "Yeah…I borrowed it, I didn't think you would mind."

"No I don't care, but where is it?"

"Sean's… I just came back to grab my Dramatic Lit book, but go on in there, they won't care and its always open, I think it's in front of the closet." Olivia looked at Dylan and smiled nicely, "Good luck this weekend."

Dylan gave her a sad smile and a nod, "Thanks."

Brenda swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "Let me just get the bag." She said quietly. Brenda left her bedroom and shook her head; she didn't know how to take Dylan. Here he was making her feel bad for having someone in her life and he hadn't contacted her in two months. He had a ticket to London in his possession and never came and now he was butt hurt. Brenda walked quickly as a million thoughts ran through her head.

Olivia took a deep breath as she grabbed her book for class, "Not going so well huh?" she gave him a sympathetic smile as she grasped her book tightly against her chest.

Dylan shook his head, "It is what it is, you know?" Dylan tried to play it cool, when in reality he hadn't slept a wink the night before. All he could think about was that kiss and the feeling of being near her again. Then Dylan couldn't stop thinking about what Brenda said. What was she talking about? Dylan wrote her more than a dozen letters in those two months. Was it possible she didn't get them?

**

Brenda knocked quickly on Sean and Mike's door. After hearing no reply she gently turned the handle and opened the door. She walked in quickly and scanned the room for her black duffle bag. Of course it wasn't in front of the closet. Brenda knelt down taking a peak under the beds, she gently open the closet and skimmed Sean's side. She moved the sliding doors to Mike's side and bent down looking around. She started picking stuff up, and moving it around neatly trying to find it and as she spotted it, she noticed a pile of envelopes. They were fastened with a rubber band around them, tucked away in the back of the closet under a bunch of random items. Brenda reached down and brought them closer as she noticed at least 15 maybe more letters all in which were addressed to her. She stood up and quickly took the rubber band off of them. She began flipping through the unopened letters, seeing the same return address on each and every one of them. They were all from Dylan.

"Hey, I am glad you're here, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to say goodbye to you before you left for the weekend." Mike said as he made his way into his bedroom. Brenda had her back toward him and she looked up and stared at the wall in front of her.

She turned around and looked at him with a blank stare. "What is this?" she said shocked holding up the stack of letters, "You have been keeping my mail from me?"

"Brenda…let me explain…"

"Explain what exactly?" Brenda raised her voice.

Mike looked down feeling ashamed, "After we started dating, things were going so good with us…but every few days another letter would come. I don't know…I didn't want you to get caught up with him." Mike really did feel like crap. He wasn't sure why he did it. Things had been going so well and they hit it off right from the beginning. He did it and felt horrible about it but wasn't sure how to tell her. "I am not a psycho or anything; I just thought that…I don't know what I thought." Mike looked down sadly, "I am sorry Brenda." He said sincerely.

Brenda shook her head grabbing her bag and letters and heading for the door, she had nothing to say to him. She almost understood why he would have thought to do it, but to actually do it was what she had the problem with. It was creepy and weird and not ok at all.

"Brenda…I." Mike cursed to himself as he quickly tried to catch up with her.

"Mike…there is nothing you can say that is going to make this ok." Brenda swung around as she reached her door. Dylan and Olivia turned and watched as Brenda sternly told him. "Just because you are my boyfriend doesn't give you the right to end all communication with one of my friends."

"I was jealous…I know it was wrong, can you at least see my side even if you don't agree with me?" Mike looked at her sadly. He had felt badly about it for over a month but didn't have the guts to come clean. "I wanted to tell you a long time ago…I just was scared of losing you."

Brenda shook her head, "Being jealous doesn't excuse it…Dylan is one of my best friends. There could have been an emergency or something…" Dylan got up hearing his name. He stood back almost on guard in case he was needed. Brenda looked down at the dozen or so letters, "I don't even know what to say…" Brenda didn't know anything or how she was feeling. There were so many letters, she had no idea Dylan had been writing her. She sighed looking at him, she was disappointed in him. He seemed so trustworthy, so sweet and caring. She realized she couldn't get yelling mad with him without looking like she cared about Dylan more than she had led on. "Just leave me alone." Brenda said quietly, she turned sadly going into her bedroom.

Mike stopped in the doorway and made eye contact with Dylan. They stared each other down for several seconds. This was exactly what Mike hadn't wanted to happen. "Brenda…" Mike said softly. Brenda had her back towards him and she set the letters on her desk, Dylan looked down at them and made eye contact with her.

"I was trying to protect you…from him." Mike said angrily giving Dylan daggers once again.

Dylan couldn't hold back any longer, "You…don't even know me." He said cool and collected taking a step towards him. "You heard her, leave her alone." Dylan said stern but calm.

"I know how much pain you caused her, I know that you were a drunk and a druggie and she went to help you. She wanted to be with you and you didn't want to have anything to do with her."

"Mike." Brenda tried to stop him.

Dylan looked down and smirked and part of him hated the fact he knew anything personal about him. "You don't know anything about us." Dylan rephrased.

"She wanted you to leave her alone; she wanted you to let her go. She wanted herself back and even after she told you that, you wrote her almost everyday, just to drive her crazy and I am sorry I wasn't going to let you do that." Mike kept his glare.

Brenda saw what was brewing in front of her with the guys she took a step forward, they were on the verge of pouncing and Brenda knew Dylan well enough that he was holding everything back from doing so, "It wasn't your job to protect me from him. Dylan and I were over and I was with you. You betrayed me by keeping these from me. You're right I did want him to leave me alone, and I don't even know if I would have read the letters. But that was MY choice. Not yours." Brenda raised her voice at the end, "I never gave you any reason to doubt my feelings for you after we got together."

"Really?" Mike tilted his head and looked at her. His eyes were sad but angry, something told him that this was it with Brenda and he knew he messed up.

"Yes really." Brenda crossed her arms and gave him attitude.

Mike walked toward the desk, which both Dylan and Brenda were standing by, he began moving some papers he grabbed a stack of pictures off her desk and the letter from Dylan and held them out to her, "Because girls that are in relationships always keep pictures of their old boyfriends out? Because a girl that only thinks of him as friend read their letters over and over and over again? It's not like you tried to hide this stuff from me Brenda, you know I am here all the time. Honestly what was I suppose to think? That you were going to get Dylan's letters and not be affected by them? These pictures weren't on your desk a couple days ago, then you tell me this morning you're going to spend the weekend in a hotel with him. A couple days ago when we were rehearsing lines I sat at this desk and studied, then I come in here because you tell me you forgot your play book and to my surprise these pictures are just sitting here. What...he comes to town and now you are looking at them, reminising. You can be mad at me all you want for getting involved and keeping them from you and hiding it from you. But you sure as hell haven't been honest with me." Mike dropped the pictures and weathered letter on her desk as some of them fell to the ground. He turned around walking out quickly, "Have a good weekend." He said sarcastically slamming their front door. Brenda and Olivia's theatrical masks that hung on their wall fell to the ground.

"What the fuck was that?" Olivia finally spoke up. Brenda and Dylan looked over at her and took a deep breath. "Shit…I am late. Bren…call me whenever, don't worry about Mike, he'll get over it...good luck with your sister Dylan" Olivia not having too much information moved quickly to the door rushing to class. She figured Mike was probably just being jealous and mean about Dylan being there.

Brenda looked down, her and Dylan both knelt down and began picking up the pictures. She felt his hand graze hers as he picked up one of the pictures of them on the beach before she left for the summer. He brought it closer and looked at it.

Brenda looked at him, "You wrote me?" she said softly.

Dylan stared down at the picture as he ran his finger down it gently, "Of course I wrote you Bren...and obviously you never got them." Dylan smiled reaching down and picking up more of the pictures and the letter. He took a deep breath and looked her. "God I miss this." he whispered looking back down at the pictures, "I want you back." he looked back into her eyes. "I want this back."

Brenda fidgeted nervously looking down from him. She took a deep breath reaching down picking up the rest of the pictures. They both got up slowly, "We should go." she said holding back her tears not making eye contact with him.

Dylan just watched her as she packed her duffle bag up quickly, "Bren." he whispered.

Brenda zipped up her bag and looked at him. Dylan swallowed hard and just stared at her. He wasn't sure what to say. He just didn't want her to stop looking at him.

Brenda saw his hesitation, she gave him a small smile and shrugged, "Shall we go?"

Dylan gave her a nod, he reached down and grabbed her bag for her. Brenda walked slowly to the door and Dylan looked at the pictures on the desk, he looked back at Brenda. He reached over grabbing the stack of letters slipping them into the side pocket of her bag. Brenda opened up the door and turned to look at him.

"Thanks for doing this Bren…it means a lot to me." Dylan said as he carried her bag for her walking toward the door.

Brenda gave him a nod, she looked down shyly before meeting his gaze, "Of course…I would do anything for you."

Dylan looked down at her, he had to hold back everything he had to not lean in and kiss her. Instead he gave her a smile, placed his hand on the small of her back and off they were to the hotel to meet Jonesy, drop off her stuff, pick up Valerie and check into the resort.

Surprised? Anyone see that coming? Let me know what your thinking. : P How much do you freaking love them? *sigh* I do…a lot lol