If an Honest Trailer for High School Musical were to exist, it would start with flashing the requests for this video and the typical green title card. And with that, the epic voice narrator Jon would start his spiel:
"From the channel infamous of releasing those Disney original movies you probably didn't know existed, except maybe Jett Jackson: The Movie, comes the most successful of them all, that launched the careers of its, that forced kids to appreciate musicals for once, that started an unstoppable fandom that still existed until this day, and that made every millennial realize, 'I actually loved this when I was a kid? Man, I'm a dork.' High School Musical."
Along with accompanying clips, the narrator kicks off the trailer proper: "When Disney channel hit their high points with the unconventional kid's action cartoon Kim Possible, watch as they hit a higher point, where they hit the same points that made Hannah Montana successful. They're supposed to be cheesy and made for kids only." This is followed with a clip showing Troy's suspicious reaction.
"Enter the town of Albuquerque, New Mexico that does not look like what Weird Al describes. And meet Troy Bolton, the popular kid and the Wildcats basketball team captain who refuses to sing…" Cue clip of Troy being forced onstage during that New Year's party."…and Gabriella Montez, the new girl in school and total bookworm who refuses to sing." Cue clip of Gabriella being forced to sing on that same party.
"But when destiny finds them together, these lovelorn students will fall for each other, audition for the school musical, overcome their insecurities to discover their singing potential and do whatever it takes to fight for their love…just because they were forced to sing karaoke together." After that note, the narrator comments,"Yep, completely true love to me. So, I did karaoke one night with bottomless iced tea, so does that mean I can perform at Broadway?"
The narrator jumps to a montage of scenes showing Troy and Gabriella's romance as he jots through the script, "Witness as these star-crossed lovers fight to keep their relationship intact by thankfully not going all Romeo and Juliet with the gore and all, and breaking the status quo that somehow causes a whole school of diverse students to be surprised like…"
"…Troy's teammates, total jocks who only love basketball…" Cue the Wildcats shouting, "Get your head in the game!"
"…Gabriella's school decathlon team, total bookworms who only love science mumbo-jumbo that 5th graders would speak…" Cue the clip showing Taylor bemusing Gabriella by saying, "This is the side where you belong."
"…the other cliques that somehow existed in the 21st century…"The video shows the images of the skaterdudes, the cheerleaders, the brainiacs and other stereotypical high school cliques present in East High.
"…and of course, the Evans, the obligatory rich kid twins, who are obviously the bad guys. There's Sharpay, the spoiled one who loves being fabulous, and there's Ryan, the flamboyant one, who loves pink?"As the video shows Ryan in his hijinks, the epic voice guy clarifies to the viewers (or specifically Ryan),"I don't mean to mock, but ease it down with the pink, please? Neon colors blind me, okay?"
Nevertheless, the narrator continues with the script, "Relive the timeless tales that every teenager can relate to like:
…falling in love is okay in high school, as long as you ignore the important stuff like studying…" As the video tries to show an actual studying scene from the characters, he remarks, "Yeah, they don't show that much studying."
But he still continues enumerating the valuable lessons, "…It is fine to enter restricted areas in the school premises." Cue the video showing Troy sneaking towards restricted school areas until he arrives in the auditorium. "Yes? That's exactly how Troy does things…"
"If someone gets in your way, push them, even with brute force."Cue montage of characters pushing each other. "What?!"
"If one of your friends have different hobbies, condemn them, just because they are traitors." Cue the clip of Martha being chastised by the brainiacs. "Oh gasp?!"
"You can always blackmail your friends, so you can create misunderstandings."Cue that scene featuring the Wildcats blackmailing Troy to expose him to Gabriella. "What?! You clearly set up a webcam? And he somehow didn't notice it. What?!"
Even as the lessons gets more absurd, the narrator keeps up with the script, "When your friends do not want to talk to you, stalk at them." Cue clip of Troy showing up from Gabriella's bedroom window. "Okay, that's borderline sinister there."
"Spoiled kids get the authority to change school-administrated events."Then, the video shows Sharpay and Ryan conspiring to move the callback date. "What's with the bribing?"
"…And desperate times call for desperate measures, even if it means hacking in the school's wiring program, and sabotaging both your scholastic decathlon and your basketball championship, and somehow never got penalized for it?!"Realizing how unethical the situations where in the movie, the narrator feels the need to berate about its ridiculousness, "What?! You kids hacked into your school's computer systems and you managed to get away with that? No!" Sooner after ranting, the epic voice clams down, then softly remarks, "You know come to think of it, this movie is not a good way to teach to your kids. I can tell. Check out what Efron did after this." Cue posters for Neighbors, Baywatch, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates and Dirty Grandpa.
"Enjoy on one more nostalgia trip that defined your high school generation for once, after you all realized just how generally unrealistic it is for these basketball players to also have sing-and-dance moves and at the same time, mock Troy about it…" Cue clip from the number "Get'cha Head in the Game."
"…how overwhelming it is for such a small-town high school to be pumped about their basketball team…" Cue montage of the Wildcats promotional materials.
"…how ridiculous it is that these theater stereotypes are the only ones who want to audition; how completely vague their upcoming musical piece is…" Cue auditions for the musical held by Ms. Darbus, from the stuttering geek to the stupid emo number.
"…how stupid Sharpay is for not seeing Gabriella behind that wall…"As the video shows a clip of Sharpay in the bathroom with Gabriella hiding, he sidetracks, "I mean seriously? Are you blind, woman?"
"…and how it makes no preposterous sense that everyone is A-Okay to dance and sing, and that Sharpay and Ryan are cool with the good guys winning."Cue the clip from the number "We're All in This Together" just to point out how the song completely retcons the whole situation of the movie. "Ughh…you know what, it is Disney and it is for kids. Period."
Finally, the epic voice guy prepares for an awaited part of every Honest Trailer of a musical, "So, gather up your friends as you revisit the Disney Channel classic that you loved in the past, and listen again to the unforgettable that you guiltily listen to until now, featuring songs like:
"The Foreshadowing Romance Song"
This is the start of our romance
Made it look like it's our only chance
And now listen to our duet
It is pretty obvious
That it's the start of our romance
"The 'We Love Basketball' Song"
We love, we love, we love basketball
We have to focus because we love basketball
We love, we love, we love basketball
We have to focus because we love basketball
We love, we love, we love basketball
We have to focus because we are very tall
We love, we love, we love basketball
We have to focus because nothing will go wrong at all
"The Audition Piece"
We never act before
But that's the best that we could do
Acting like Hugh
We never sang before
But listen, it's finely tuned
With autotune
Sorry for the bore
Just don't kick us out
Don't lead us to the door
"The Song that More or Less Encourages Division"
No! No, no, no!
Stay in your place, you foe!
If you're so different, please kneel and repent
Don't mess with the school
No! No!
If you're different, you blow!
No! No, no, no!
Stick to your stuff or go!
Non-conformity sucks, so give us your ten bucks!
Don't mess with the school
No! No!
We love the status quo
"The Slow Jam Realization from the Female Lead"
I thought this was a fairy tale
Because Disney made it look like one
The wish upon a star
Is just a ruse
'Cause now I learned that I've been tricked
Believing I will play Belle; But it's not true
One moment blew
Here's the Disney blues
"The Stereotypically Hispanic Song"
Not, not, not, not a rip-off
We're not mocking Latina pop
We'll not stop till you all pop
Just shut up there
We'll bop, bop, bop till we drop
Ms. Shakira, sorry
But we're obviously evil, so we won't stop
Till we reach the top
This song ain't flop
"The Song that Zac Efron Likely Wants to Forget"
I am sorry I forgot this
There's not a star in this show that I could reach
If you forgot this, it's okay with me
I am having my career now
I have to still film my scenes in Baywatch 3
So my dear fans, face the reality
"The Song that Burrows in Your Head Since 2006"
Together, together, together hear this song
Together, together, have this beat stay so long
Together, together, when this song will play by chance
Together, together, just shut up, sing and dance
This song is stuck forever
Don't forget every word, every beat, now just repeat
The tenth time's even better
Have this earworm stay in your head until we're all dead
Everybody now!"
After doing the Honest Songs, the video goes to the favorite Honest Names:
"Starring:
Lord Zefron (Troy)
Gabriella Montague (Gabriella)
Afrojack (Chad)
That's So Not Raven (Taylor)
Pinky Malinky (Ryan)
Shark Bay Evans (Sharpay)
Kelsi Grammar (Kelsi)
Disney One-Liners (Chad's "to infinity and beyond" line and Gabriella's song line "a wish upon the star")
Zeke & Luther (Zeke and Jason)
Fat Amy (Martha)
Sk8ter Bois (Skaterdude)
Nerds Posing as Dancers (Some students)
Dancers Posing as Nerds (Brainiacs)
30-Year-Old Broadway Extras Posing as Students (Students during the "Stick to the Status Quo" number)
So the Drama (Ms. Darbus)
Coach Carter (Coach Bolton)
And Voicing (Montage of characters doing voices)"
Finally, the epic voice narrator dictates the Honest Title:"East High Story"
But before the video ends, he remarks,"To be fair, Bad Lip Reading did spoofing the songs alright too." Cue the clip from the BLR video showing the spoof song "Pretty Little Basketball".
