The Alpaca Place

Johnny was waiting for his release papers as Roy and Chet walked into his hospital room.

"Are you about ready to get out of this joint?" asked Roy.

"Aww, c'mon, Roy. You know Gage likes it here. Why else would he come in and stay so often."

John snarled at Chet and rolled his eyes.

"Yea, Kelly, right."

His sarcasm was not lost on Chet and Chet took the opportunity to unleash another story as a way of paying him back.

"Say, Roy, do you remember that time that Gage got a little cozy with the Alpaca?"

"Oh Chet, for crying out loud," said Johnny but he was already smiling at the thought.

The Engine and Squad went barreling down the dirt road toward what could only be described as a dry docked Noah's Ark. The place was dilapidated and every domestic animal imaginable roamed freely around the wreckage. As the firefighters rushed to what appeared to be the front of the residence, an elderly bearded gentleman wearing overalls came around from behind the building.

"Hey there fellas. Sorry to be a bother but everything's ok now."

Captain Stanley spoke for the group. "Sir, dispatch said something about a child trapped?"

"Oh, no, no sir, wasn't a child. It was a kid."

Johnny just gave the old man a confused stare as Chet and Marco exchanged bewildered glances.

"Sir, I'm not sure I understand the difference." Hank was truly trying to determine if there was still an emergency at this residence or not.

"Well, you city boys probably wouldn't now would ya." He chucked to himself as he looked around at the dust and dirt near his feet. "See, a child is a human but a kid is a baby goat." Again, he snickered at the firefighters.

"My little Winnie here," he said scooping up a tiny goat, "got stuck inside one of the old buildings in the back. I'm just a little too old to go wandering around those old buildings so I figured I'd call you boys to help get her out. But, she's a smart little thing and she figured it out all by herself." He patted the black and white goat on the head with a sense of pride displayed on his wrinkled face.

Mike Stoker coughed to hide a laugh as he headed back towards the engine while the others just looked at each other in stunned disbelief.

"Well sir, we'd really prefer to rescue humans next time, alright?" Hank was trying his best to get his point across to the man that they were not animal rescuers.

Johnny tuned out the conversation as he noticed a strange looking head sticking out from behind the back of the house. He slapped Roy's arm with the back of his hand as he wandered over to the corner where he'd seen the head sticking out a moment earlier.

"Uh, Junior, you might want to stay back….." Roy's voice trailed off as Johnny walked farther away from Roy. Roy and Marco had both seen the head and knew what it was but Johnny wasn't paying attention to them.

"He doesn't know what they'll do does he?" Marco asked the senior paramedic.

"Not a clue, Marco, not a clue."

Neither man tried to stop Johnny. Instead they just positioned themselves for a better view of the show. Chet noticed the two of them watching as Johnny walked toward the back of the house and decided he would join in the fun too. Hank was still talking to the old man…..or rather listening as he got an earful of why firefighters should rescue all God's creatures, etc,etc, blah blah blah….. He looked up just in time to see Gage jump back and stumble over some debris in the yard. Mike looked out of his window on the engine having a bird's eye view of the scene and guffawed.

Johnny was trying to back up and run from what looked like a small camel and as he tried to regain his footing, he let out a string of expletives then rushed back to the others; all of whom were doubled over in laughter.

"That freakin' llama sneezed on me, Cap. I'm covered in llama snot!"

"No Gage," corrected Marco. "That's not llama snot…..it's alpaca puke!"

Another round of laughter followed Marco's statement and this time even the baby goat seemed to join in the laughter.

"Let's go!" Johhny huffed as he headed toward the passenger's side of the squad. "And not a word from you Kelly, you understand?"

Even Chet was at a loss for words.

Back in his hospital room, Johnny looked up to see Dixie coming in with his wheelchair.

Chet and Johnny were wiping tears from their eyes and trying to catch their breath.

"What on earth are you boys laughing at now?" she asked.

Before Roy or Chet could speak, Johnny answered. "Oh just talking about how I sometimes get puked on, Dixie. That's all."