Of course, an Honest Trailer to High School Musical would follow it up with a comical take on its sort of pointless sequel. If it were to exist, it would start with the usual flashing of the requests by users and the traditional title card. And it would start with the voiceover narrator Jon Bailey's opening spiel:
"You loved the original for its songs, its characters and its high school tropes that you love since childhood. Now, get ready for the follow-up that every teen cannot wait to see, and that every parent groaned for their kids wasting their TV cable bills. High School Musical 2."
After doing that spiel and flashing the movie's title, the narrator opens up the video, guided by accompanying clips from the movie musical: "You have waited for an actual high school musical that the original built up in the first place, with your favorite couple shipping to star in. Well, forget about that because it is all about summer. And everybody cannot stop talking about it." Cue montage of East High students gushing over summer.
"Settle in as our favorite high school gang get refreshed for the summer on a story that does not feel refreshed at all, as we go back to the same old tropes that were in the original like high school cliques that somehow existed in an exclusive country club, the antagonists go back to being antagonists, Troy ditching his basketball team, Gabriella ditching Troy, the group working together to make a performance happen, and the obligatory closing cheery song that forgets what happened to these characters. It's the exact same thing. But…meh."
"See your favorite characters from the original, downgraded from sequel-litis symptoms, like Troy, the pretty puppy face star player who pours out his emotions like an actual puppy…" Cue montage of Zac Efron's kind of sophomore acting.
"…Gabriella, the school genius and bookworm, sidelined as a lifeguard and a Disney pop princess…" The video then shows Gabriella as a student and as a lifeguard.
"…Chad, the token black best friend who would challenge an enemy to baseball but won't dance…"Then the narrator feels the need to side-comment about Chad's sudden dancing in the first movie's number "Stick to the Status Quo", "Really? So, what does this mean, hah?"
"…Taylor, another total nerd who turned out to be a total pain in the neck with her authoritarian sass…" Cue Taylor and her sassy behavior as a hostess.
"…Ryan, the flamboyant sidekick who is relegated to the good side, just because of his bratty sister…" Cue the clip where Ryan ditches Sharpay for Gabriella and company.
"…and that bratty sister Sharpay, who evolved from conniving rich kid to despicable stalking prima donna, who won't stop till she gets everything she wants." After showing a compilation of clips of Sharpay's spoiled behavior, and as it ended on the "You Are the Music in Me" number, the voiceover guy exclaims, "Ugh…can someone put a giant cork in her mouth? I want this girl to stop!"
Nevertheless, he moves on to enumerating the summer aspects of the movie, "Enjoy in this sort-of summer special…that didn't show anything awesome about summer, except maybe the exclusive summer country club whose owners are uptight, whose butler is uptight, whose rules are uptight, whose residences are uptight and whose amenities are also uptight."
"And instead, enjoy your favorite characters suffer on their summer jobs…" Cue clip of the kids complaining in the kitchen
"…scold at each other…" Cue clip of the movie's "drama".
"…and do lots of illegal things, like banging the utensils in the kitchen…" Cue clips of the gang using kitchen utensils as instruments during the number "Work It Out".
"…loitering on a golf course…" Cue Troy and Gabriella's picnic date on the golf course.
"…swimming on a pool beyond operating hours…"Cue Troy and Gabriella's other date in the pool.
"…quitting your summer job without permission…" Cue Gabrielle walking out on Troy before the "Gotta Go My Own Way" number.
"…sabotaging a summer performance that they count as a school musical…" Cue the gang planning to take over the country club's annual talent show. And still, the epic voice guy feels the need to comment, "Seriously kids, you already done this to your own school, and now you're going to do this at the place you are working at?!"
"…and most important of all, singing, which, you come to think about it, they often do in public areas where people would hear them." Cue the characters unintentionally singing in public spaces, most especially Troy in his "Bet on It" song number. "Umm hello? A little notice here?! These kids are being noisy. Can you make them stop?"
"So, strap in for the sequel that everybody is waiting for, that beat the ratings of the original High School Musical, that kicked off the endless barrage of merchandising, and had unleashed another onslaught of unforgettable songs that you may or may not recognize, like…"
"The Bohemians in the Making Song"
Everybody's lazy, going crazy, do we even hate school?
Nahh, that won't matter since they all say it is cool!
What time is it?
Lazy time! Maybe stay-cation
What time is it?
Party time? I might stay at home
What time is it?
Oh, who cares now? No recitations!
What time is it?
Wasting our time! School sucks! Let's bust it out!
"The Clichéd Disney 'I Want' Song"
This might have sound old, but this is real soon
Just treat me as complex, not another lame tune
A sass at my mouth, a raise of my brow
Endless laughs at my lungs, the whole world will come to bow
(Excuse me?)
Her menace will make your pants soiled
I'm so spoiled
Because I'm a villain, so please do my request
A spoiled villain, I don't care who gets oppressed
I need someone answering to all of my demands
It's obvious that I'm the villain, and no one understands?
"The Teamwork Song"
Chad:
How did we get from being a student
to becoming employed?
Taylor:
I don't recall the movie mentioning
Our first arc's null and void
Troy:
We've got to work, work
Work, work right now
The boss ain't be proud
If we sing this loud
We better work, work
But I don't know how
If we still have a summer
If we work right now
Chad:
Dude, what have you gotten us into?
"The 'Breaking Free'-ish Song"
The harmony, familiar to me
It's echoing inside my head
A single voice, that revamped noise
I know it has been said
For a long time
When you hear that same old song
It's been a year so long
Oh, this is not "Breaking Free"
Yeah, we're cashing on its success
At least we have done our best
This is not "Breaking Free"
Ba na na na (Oh)
Ba na na na (Oh yeah)
Ba na na na
This is not "Breaking Free"
"The Inappropriate Tribute to Polynesians Since the Brownface Costumes of Maui"
We are, are, are, are, are, are making this stuff up
We are making this stuff up while we do
We are, are, are, are, are, are making this stuff up
Ooh!
Why this got even banned in the first airing?
"The Hypocrite Song"
Ryan:
Come on!
Chad:
I don't dance
Ryan:
I know you can
Chad:
Not a chance, no
Ryan:
Well, you could do this in the first movie
Chad:
But I don't dance
Pretend it didn't happen
I don't dance
Ryan:
I said you can
Chad:
There's not a chance, no
Ryan:
Slide on the tables, then strut on the floors?
Chad:
Don't bring that up
Or this song won't exist!
"The Butchering of the 'Breaking Free' Rip-off Song that We Will Burst Your Eardrums"
Sharpay & Troy:
The harmony to the melody
This rendition will melt your heads
Sharpay:
Our single voice
Troy:
Please save me, boys!
Sharpay:
I'm not a common threat
He loves singing to me
Troy:
When I hear this stupid song
I won't sing for so long
'Cause this version's killing me
Sharpay:
My scheme has been working now
My love's here because
Troy is singing with me
Na, na, na...
Troy is singing with
Na, na, na...
Troy is singing with
Is singing with me! Yeah!
"The Breakup Song"
It's so hard to say
That this part is where we breakup now
Kind of blasé
I've got to move on but I can't make a stand
I just don't like it here
In the middle of the sand
We might find ourselves together next day
But at least for now
It is goodbye anyway
"The Hamming It Up Song"
(Did you ever) laugh your face off when I do this dance?
(Did you ever) treat this truly when you got the chance?
(Did you ever) see the power of my feelings move?
Did you ever see now? Did you feel this groove?
I'm not gonna stop, even when I ham
I'll sing it all I got, this is my jam
Will I lose all myself? This is what I am
I'm acting! I'm acting! I'm acting! I'm acting!
Credit don't bother me, don't make me pay
Skipped work to sing in the middle of the day
When I'm done with this gig, don't make me stay
I'm acting! I'm acting! I'm acting! I'm acting!
"The Oddly Perfect Improvised Number"
Everyday do not smear
What you find in here ain't that much sincere
Dare to run while you're young
And be upset
Everyday don't apply
Want to be young and free? Then, go and die
Take a glance
Together, we must contemplate
This show is gray
"The Summer Jam Where Everybody Dances and Stuff, Because This is a Kids Movie"
Troy, Chad, Ryan:
Let's take it to the beach
Although, there is none here
Gabriella, Sharpay, Taylor:
Let's celebrate in this pool
Please no booze or beer
Troy, Chad, Ryan:
We're all in this together
Wait, this song again?
Gabriella, Sharpay, Taylor:
That is all fine
All:
Everybody all for one
Even if this will be retconned
Because movies need a dance song
So, dance to not get shunned
We're gonna stay under the sun
Even if it burns like glue gun
Everybody, sing this song, a rip-off one!
Rip-off one! One! One!
Rip-off one! One!"
After doing a comical takedown on the songs, the epic voice guy proceeds to the Honest Names:
"Starring:
Michael Bolton (Troy)
There Are Worse Things I Could Do (Gabriella)
Ashley Simpson (Sharpay)
White Man Can Jump (Ryan)
Chicken Corbin Bleu (Chad)
Mo'Nique (Taylor)
Wadsworth (Fulton)
Evans Family Values (Sharpay and Ryan's parents)
Chris Bosh (Zeke)
Now a Hockey Player (Jason)
Martha Stewart (Martha)
Wish I Found You Sooner (Kelsi)
The Chipettes (The Sharpettes)
Disney Vanity References (Troy looking himself at the pond ala Simba, the "three wishes" line in "Work It Out" and the "Humuhumunukunukuapua'a" song)
"I Want Taco Bell!" (Sharpay's Chihuahua)
And The Worst of One World (Miley Cyrus)"
He then spouts the Honest Title for the movie: "Teen Beach Movie"
But before the video ends, it shows an epilogue previewing the scene where Sharpay walks in to the gang rehearsing for the talent show, with Troy hiding on her left. Somehow, she does not sense or feel Troy at her left. Thus, the narrator complains, "How is it that she didn't see Troy at her left? He is right on your left! Don't you have peripheral vision, woman?"
