Almost Home
Dixie wasn't sure she wanted to hear about the Alpaca puke incident but she couldn't hold back her cackling at Johnny's comment as he sat in the wheelchair she was holding for him. Chet and Roy both remembered the incident that caused her laughter and Chet nearly collapsed in hysterical giggles!
"I'm almost home now" was the comment that Gage made sitting down in the wheelchair and he immediately regretted his statement. "Oh boy, not again!"
"Oh yea, Junior…again." Roy leaned down on the bed John had just vacated trying to catch his breath!
The engine and the squad had been dispatched to the scene of a traffic accident. Only one car was involved and it was on a desolate road at nearly dawn. No one ever found out who had called it in because when the emergency vehicles arrived they only saw one car. One old beaten up piece of crap car that was more rust and bondo-gray than any other color. One elderly man could be seen crouched behind the steering wheel leaning slightly forward and obviously holding on for dear life!
As the crew of Station 51 exited their vehicles and gathered around the car, Hank Stanley just stood in disbelief.
"Uh, Cap, how should we handle this one?" Johnny asked.
Hank and the rest of the guys were staring at the car which was on the side of the road – backed onto a tree trunk. The tree had been dead for quite some time and was lying parallel to the road. Somehow, this old man had backed his car onto the tree truck; his passenger side wheels were on one side and his driver's side wheels were on the other. Hank wondered for a second if the man had somehow driven his car up the tree trunk while it was still standing and knocked the tree down. To further confuse the firefighter, the man had the car in gear and the engine was revved up. The back tires were spinning wildly but luckily were not in contact with the ground. They all watched in amusement as the old man seemed to be driving along and occasionally turning the steering wheel as though he were making turns in the road.
"Cap, do you think he knows he's stuck?" Johnny asked and he could hear the other guys snickering behind him.
"Well, hell, Gage, I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?" Hank replied.
Johnny didn't realize that Hank was being sarcastic so he jogged on over to the driver's side window and knocked on the glass. The old man jumped slightly then gave John a big wave and an even bigger toothless grin.
"Um, sir, …..sir, could you roll down the window please?"
Mike broke the silence of the group behind Gage watching in wonder. "What's he gonna do, ask him for a ride back to the station?"
"Who knows?" Roy quipped.
The older gentlemen rolled down his window with one hand still on the steering wheel.
"Hello officer," he grinned seemly undisturbed by the fact that he was talking to a person standing outside his window while he was on his drive home.
Johnny immediately understood the problem. The marijuana smoke that poured out of the vehicle was enough to give him a buzz. He had no idea how much this old man had smoked but it was enough to make him believe that he was driving home when he hadn't moved an inch.
"Sir, um, can I give you a hand here?" Johnny had no idea what else to say.
"No, no sonny, I'm almost home now" he shouted as he accelerated even more and even turned on his blinker.
Gage could hear the group behind him cheering him on with their laughter and hand clapping.
"Ok sir, I think you can turn your car off now." Gage opened the door and put the engine in park before turning off the car. He reached in and was helping the old man out of the car when the old guy patted him on the back and thanked him for the "ballet" parking service.
Chet sank to his knees in the sand pulling his helmet over his face to hide his laughter and silence his howling. Marco sat on the running board of the squad having lost his ability to stand at the moment and grabbing his sides in laughter pains. Roy leaned his arms on the hood of the squad and buried his head into his elbows; shoulders shaking from giggling. Only Mike was able to keep a straight face and help Gage ease the man to the ground; neither man daring to look at the other for fear of laughing in their victim's face. Captain Stanley surveyed the scene trying to figure out a reasonable way to note this run in the log books. "Twits!" he muttered and finally succumbed to the belly rolling laugh he'd been trying desperately to contain.
