Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, parings, etc.

Part 16/24

-Chapter 16-

Battle Scars

-Atlantis – Past-

Elizabeth's heart nearly stopped. "What?" She felt her knees wobble as her mind scrabbled frantically, trying to take in the concept. To be so close to victory, only to be forced to watch it slip through their fingers – it was inconceivable!

Rodney was yelling again. "A dead man's switch! The Ancients designed it so you have to really want the power source to overload before it will -- thus, the switch. If it's released for even a moment, the failsafe reengages and releases the overload by sending you spinning off through time and space. For the overload to happen and follow through with the megaton boom, someone has to keep a finger on the switch to let the overload happen!"

Elizabeth suppressed the urge to cover her face with her hands. Strong, be strong, she couldn't let anyone see how she was crumbling inside. That means. . . Oh no. This can't be happening! "Rodney, stand by." She turned instinctively to her surest support in any crisis. "What do we do now?" She tried but failed to keep the panic out of her voice.

One John threw a quick look around the control room, took her by the arm and pulled her to the relative privacy of her office. The other followed only a few steps behind. As soon as they were in the glass enclosure, the one holding her arm spoke, his voice urgent, his eyes intense. "Elizabeth, you have to let me take a cloaked Jumper up! I'll keep the pressure on the switch and allow the overload to happen. We can still make this work, but you have to let me do this!"

Elizabeth yanked her arm free from John's grasp and backed away, horrified. "Absolutely not! I've sent you on one suicide mission: I can't send you on another!"

"There isn't any other way!" John's voice rose with hers. He visibly forced himself to take an emotional step back. When he spoke again, his tone was calm, and utterly implacable. "Someone has to rendezvous with Daedalus in a Jumper, grab the Thing, get it over to the Hive ships, and detonate it. Who better than me? I can fly the ship, and as long as Rodney talks me through what I have to do, I can do this. After all, how hard can it be?"

Elizabeth could only shake her head numbly, heart and mind locked in frozen denial. I can't – won't! – accept this! She wanted to scream the words, but her voice wouldn't work.

John leaned towards her slightly, and his words hammered at her. "Elizabeth, one way or another, the Thing is going to be destroyed: either because we choose to do it on our terms, or when the Daedalus blows itself up. And when it goes, I go. I'm gonna fade out, cease to exist, on account of some time anomaly paradox thing McKay could explain to you. There's no honor in that. So, please, I'm asking you, just let me do what I came back to do: Save Atlantis – and you."

Sheppard snagged her arm, turning her to face him. He grasped her shoulders. The fear and pain in his eyes as they met hers pierced through her heart into her very soul.

"Elizabeth, let him do this." He hesitated, seeming to struggle for the right words. "Trust me on this, it's the right thing to do. Just let -- him -- go."

Elizabeth felt overwhelmed, trapped between the proverbial rock and hard place. She closed her eyes and reached once more for the tatters of her inner strength. Stepping away from her own Sheppard, she made eye contact with John. She still couldn't speak aloud, but her lips shaped the one word: "Go."

A look of relief, almost of peace, swept over his face. Then, a tender smile curling his lips, he stepped forward to take her face between his hands and gently press a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you, Elizabeth," he whispered as he drew back. He briefly caught his other self's eyes; a message passed, but she was too shaken to try to read it. He turned and left her office, running through the control room and up the steps to the Jumper bay.

Elizabeth remained standing where she was, her hands knotted into fists at her side. "John, please tell me I've made the right decision," she whispered in anguish.

His hand gently brushed her shoulder. He dared no further contact. "You did, Elizabeth. You did."

If only I could make myself believe you, John.

-Atlantis – Past -

John dropped down into the pilot's seat of Jumper 2, watching as it powered up for him without his even thinking about it. The moment his hands touched the controls the obedient little ship slid out of its landing bay and lifted upwards through the retracting roof.

Shield harmonics. Right. No point in crashing into the shield. John kept up a running monologue in his mind as he cloaked the ship and adjusted its shield frequency to match Atlantis's. And that ought to-- Uh-oh. Did I do that?

Just as he was about to fly through the shield, it suddenly fizzled and collapsed, barely clearing the bottom of the Jumper as he continued his steep ascent towards space. Crap! What did I do wrong? He studied the readouts before him, seeing no error or danger messages.

The comm system beeped, alerting him to an incoming transmission. "John, this is Elizabeth. Can you hear me?"

He gulped, having a feeling he was in trouble. "Yes. Listen, about the shield, I'm sorry. I thought I was--"

Elizabeth interrupted him. "It wasn't your fault. Just as you were getting ready to fly through the shield the ZPM power failed and the shield collapsed."

Oh crap. This most definitely wasn't good: they were out of time. "Elizabeth, tell Daedalus to move into an orbital defensive posture over the city. I'll rendezvous with them there."

Brief pause, then her voice was in his ear again. "Daedalus agrees. They're waiting to beam the time-travel device to the Jumper as soon as you get up there." There was another pause. Then she said softly, "John? Good luck."

John swallowed hard. I hope so. "Thank you, Elizabeth. Jumper 2 out." His mind was already at work figuring how best to keep him hidden from the Wraith while decloaking the Jumper long enough for Rodney to beam the Thing aboard.

A thought struck. Aha! If he stayed on the underside of the ship and only decloaked for just the two seconds it would take for the transport from Daedalus to the Jumper, he might be nothing more than a ghost on the Hives' sensors -- if he even showed up at all. Hopefully the Wraith would be too busy fending off the Daedalus to pay any attention to a vague sensor ghost.

John broke through the last vestiges of Atlantis's atmosphere and into space. He squinted a little in disbelief as a wave of black things came towards him. What the--?

Comprehension hit as the HUD sprang to life over the windscreen. Darts! They're getting ready to do an attack run on Atlantis and beam down their drones! John swore profusely. He tightened his hands on the controls, forcing himself to stay on his present course. He yearned to turn the ship around and follow the Darts down, to take out as many as he could. But he knew that was somebody else's mission. His was to keep focused on what only he could do. Atlantis needed him. Elizabeth needed him. He couldn't fail her.

He clenched his teeth tightly as he watched the steady stream of Darts fly obliviously past him toward the unshielded city on the surface. He reassured himself that this time, the city had not been caught unawares. The F-302s, Jumpers, and rail guns should be able to shoot a large proportion of them down before they could do much damage. He sent an encouraging thought towards the pilots who, he knew, were even now hurtling to the city's defense: You can do it, guys. You have to do it.

Only moments later, John flew the Jumper up to the belly of the Daedalus. He activated his comm. "Daedalus, this is Sheppard. I'm in position and ready to receive the time-travel device."

Rodney responded to him almost immediately. "Understood. When I give you the signal, decloak so I can find you and beam the device over. As soon as it appears in the passenger seat, recloak so the Wraith won't detect you."

"Yes, Rodney," John said with exaggerated patience, "I think I knew that." He poised his hand over the cloak control. "Ready when you are."

"Okay. In three – two – one – now!"

John punched the control. The ripple across the windscreen proved the cloak had been turned off. At the same moment, a bright flash appeared and as quickly faded on his right.

"Turn the cloak back on!"

"Already done." John had activated the cloak even before Rodney got the words out. He glanced at the Thing, pretending to be some harmless metal box sitting on the co-pilot's seat. He took a deep breath and focused his gaze back on the two Hive ships he could see from beyond the Daedalus' nose. "Okay, Rodney, I hope you're ready to talk me through what to do. Because we are so going to do this."

To Be Continued. . .