8 months later...
"Boss, this is disgusting."
"Why do you think I'm not doing it, DiNozzo."
Tony continues digging through the muddy pond
"Where's Probie?"
"He's worse off than you, DiNozzo, he's in a sunken graveyard."
"Yikes, that sucks...whoa, something just touched my leg"
"We are in wilderness, Tony."
"Don't remind me, Gibbs."
"How are things at home, DiNozzo."
"Much better, Boss...Ziva's out of the throwing knives stage...well, large knives, now she just throws small ones and she usually tells me they're coming."
"That's considerate of her."
"Yeah and on the good side, I'm starting to get good at catching knives."
Tony gets his foot stuck and he starts pulling on it, making a huge splash
"Ugh!...gross, I got some pond scum in my mouth."
Gibbs drinks his coffee..."How's Ziva?"
"Very pregnant. V-E-R-Y."
"When she due?"
"Hopefully soon"...wipes his brows..."Next Tuesday, Boss."
"Found something, Boss"...Tony reaches down and pulls a sword out of pond."
"That's it, DiNozzo. Good job."
Phone rings..."not me, DiNozzo."
"Crap, can you get my phone, Boss?" Raises his arms.
"No."
"Come on, Gibbs...it could be Ziva, don't you want your godchild to know you don't like them?"
"You're pushing it, Tony."
"Wait, godchild? Me? Are you insane?"
The phone continues to ring...
Tony's now out of the water
"Not a very nice way to start off being a godfather."
"Stop saying that."
"Godpapa."
"DiNozzo!"
"Come on, I'm sure your godchild will want to learn the craft of boat building."
"If it's anything like you DiNozzo, it'll only care about movies."
"How about movies about boat building?"
"Why haven't I kicked your ass, yet?"
"You love me, Boss."
"The hell I do."
"We don't know if it's a boy or girl yet...so, there's a chance, if it's a girl, if might find the scent of sawdust sexy."
"I do admire that in a woman."
"Why do you think I said it?"
"Operation: Kicking Your Ass commencing in t-minus 10 second."
"Gotta go, Boss." runs past Gibbs
"DiNozzo, get your ass in the car, we have to go pick up McGee."
"Hold on, Boss. You can't rush perfection."
"You're taking a leak, DiNozzo, not creating world peace."
"Gibbs are you always mad at me?" Tony gets in the car.
"Only when you do something stupid."
"So, all the time, huh?"
"Pretty much."
They pick up McGee
"So, you still dating that boondocks-probie, Probie?
"Ruby hates me, you know that."
"I told you, Tim...get more rest before a date."
"I know...I fall asleep once during sex and it's like I've got the plague...no offense, Tony."
"None taken."
"Why are you taking women advice from DiNozzo, McGee?"
"I asked you first, Boss...but you told me to quit before I started."
"That's good advice, Tim."
"It's definitely cheaper."
"That's the first smart thing DiNozzo has said all day."
"I told you, you loved me, Boss."
Tony gets smacked
They arrive back at NCIS HQ
Tony rubbing the back of his head..."That's seven smacks today, Gibbs."
Gibbs smacks him again.
"Damn, make that eight."
"You want to go for nine, DiNozzo?"
"That's ok, Boss."
They head in.
"I'll take the sword to Abby, Boss."
"Alright Tony, meet us in the squad room afterwards."
Tony grabs a caf-pow before heading down
Tony steps off the elevator..."Hey Abs, I have a caf-pow and some evidence for you."
"Wow, you spoil me, Tony."
"Still don't have the Gibbs-nesses down?"
"Sorry, Tony."
"'Tis ok."
"Any news on Sienna, Tony?"
"Still waiting for the adoption papers to go through."
"It was very wonderful of you to take her in."
"I couldn't let her go to an orphanage after her grandmother died. She's been through hell."
"I talked to Ziva today."
"Did she find my nudie mags again?"
"Ummm, no."
"Whew, I don't have to find a new hiding space yet."
"...anyway, we were talking about marriage."
"What?"
"M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E, Tony."
"I can't spell, Abs."
"When are you gonna make her a proper woman?"
"Whenever I think of marriage, Gibbs pops up in my mind and he'll be building a boat in his basement."
"Yeah, so?"
"I don't have a basement, Abs."
Tony walks into the squad room and sits in his chair and puts his feet up on the desk
"Man, I'm beat."
"Ziva been running you ragged getting things for her?"
"Yeah, but that's not why I'm tired. Searching through a pond takes a lot out of a man."
Gibbs walks in
"You were in there 10 minutes tops, DiNozzo."
"I had a late night last night, if you must know...(with a Jewish accent) Ziva was harman."
"You can say horny, Tony."
"She wasn't horny...she was harman."
"What's the different?"
"Horny is when you have wild crazy sex...harman is when you have wild crazy sex after she ties you up, gags you and curses you in Hebrew all while you watch Letterman and remember to tape it for her...big different, McGee."
"Letterman is on too late for me."
"Exactly."
"He still have those stupid pet tricks on, DiNozzo?"
"Sometimes, Boss."
"I once had a dog who'd bring me a beer."
"Really, Boss?"
"Yeah, he was a great dog."
"I had a dog once, but my dad got rid of him."
"Why's that, Tony?"
"Well, Probie...it seemed the lifeguards weren't very happy when I trained him to retrieve bikini tops."
"How old were you, 14-15?"
"Naw, 31."
Tony arrives at home, opens the door and sees a black lab puppy
"When did we get a dog?"
Sienna runs it...'Tony!"
Tony picks her up and hugs her, as the dog attacks his ankle..."Here Sienna, I got you something"...he reaches into his pocket and hands her a candy necklace..."Shhh! don't show it to Ziva, she'll take it away from you...and eat it herself."
Tony puts her down and walks into the kitchen, where Ziva is standing in front of the stove.
"Ma shelomkha?" as Tony puts his arms around her
"I'm fine...just a bit tired."
Tony rubs her tummy..."...and the baby?"
"Active today."
"Did you go get Mexican again today?"
"No...yes...but that's not it."
The dog continues to bite Tony's ankle
"Ziva, what's with the pooch."
"Oh, we saw it today and Sienna had to have it."
"What's its name?"
"Doesn't have one, Sienna said you'd name it."
"Hmmm, what about flotz?"
"We're not naming the dog fart, Tony."
"It's not fart, its flotz."
"My family will be proud."
"Most of your family hates you or wants you dead, don't they?"
"Oh, speaking of family...my mother arrives Friday from Tel Aviv."
"What?"
"You have to pick her up at the airport."
"Does she hate me, too?"
"Probably, I do."
"Aww, that's just your sore back talking."
"No, that's my tired feet talking, my back wants to kill you."
"I can take care of that"...he picks her up and take her to the bedroom, placing her on the bed and starts to massage her feet.
"Hmmm, you are good for something else."
"Huh?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"Heh...OH...I got it!"
He continues to rub her feet.
"Don't worry about dinner today, Ziva...I'll take care of it."
"Sienna, I'm cooking tonight!"
"Sienna runs in..."YAY, PIZZZZZZA!"
"Heh...she knows me so well."
"Hey, Sienna, is that a candy necklace...can I have some of that?"
"Quick, Sienna...RUN!"
"Daddy!"
"She's calling you, Tony."
"Huh?"
Tony gets up and goes into Sienna's room
"I had a bad dream."
"It's ok, I'm here now." He stays with her until she falls asleep
Tony walks back into his bedroom..."She called me daddy, Zee..." ..Tony notices that she's asleep and he grabs another blanket and covers her with it.
Tony now at work
"Boss, I got that license number for you, it's a no match."
"You got that trace up yet, McGee."
"Still offline, Boss."
"Hey, Gibbs...can I talk to you about something in the elevator?"
"About what, DiNozzo?"
"I'm just a bit confused...about some things."
"This have to do with personal life?"
"Yeah."
"Then why ask me, I thought you didn't like my advice woman and relationships."
"This is about a different kind of relationship, Boss."
They both walk into the elevator and Gibbs hits the emergency button
"So, what is it, DiNozzo?"
"It's just that...Sienna called me daddy for the first time...and it felt odd."
"You get used to that, Tony."
"My childhood growing up sucked, Boss. I SO want to be a good dad...but I fear I'll turn into my dad."
"What? You want me to tell you that you're gonna be a good dad? I can't."
"No, I don't want that...and I know you can't."
"Look, Tony...I felt the same way before I became a dad...it's normal."
Tony sighs
"I might not act it, but I am happy for you, Tony...it's totally gonna change you, probably for the better."
"I'm sorry about all the godchild stuff, Gibbs."
"Don't be, I'm looking forward to it."
"Huh?"
"I'm not a complete bastard, DiNozzo."
Tony hits the emergency switch and the elevator stops at the squad room floor...Tony starts to walk out, but Gibbs puts his arm across the front of Tony's chest.
"You're aren't gonna be a good dad, Tony...you're gonna be a great one." ...as Gibbs walks out.
Tony now stands in the middle of the squad room after gathering Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Jen, Ducky, Palmer and even agent Lee.
"I have an announcement to make."
"Is Ziva in labor, Tony!?"
"No, Abby."
"Well..?"
"Well, we're throwing a HUGE party on Friday at exactly"...looks at hand..."..7 p.m..bring a date, bring your mom, bring your dog, it doesn't matter, bring someone."
"What's the special occasion , DiNozzo?"
"Ziva's mom is arriving on Friday and thus, the more of you at the party, the less chances of her killing me."
"She's not gonna kill you, Tony."
"I dunno, Boss."
"I've talked to her 3 times on the phone and I could feel death breathing into my ear...kept yelling at me in Hebrew about how I polluted her little girl with my evil semen...and the worse thing is, she doesn't know I understand Hebrew, she probably thinks I won't be expecting it."
"Uhhhh, nice description, Tony." McGee said with a look on his face like he was about to puke
"Oh sorry, guys...anyway, can you guys come?"
"Will there be an open bar, DiNozzo?"
"Absolutely, Boss."
They all say they will be there.
"Hey Director, can I talk to you for a minute."
"Sure, Abby."
"We should throw Ziva a baby shower."
"You think Ziva would like that?"
"Probably not, but it's not her call."
"Well, talk to Tony about it and if he's ok with it, I'll help."
"Thanks."
"Hey Tony, you think it would be ok if we threw Ziva a baby shower?"
"Sure, why not."
"Shouldn't you talk to her about first?"
"Naw, she doesn't know we're having a party on Friday. I'm sure she'll be pissed too much about that to care about being pissed at me about the baby shower...so, have fun."
"Ummm, thanks, I guess."
Tony picks up the phone, "I need to order a keg for Friday."
"Better make it two, DiNozzo,"
"Right, Boss...make that two kegs, please. That's DiNozzo. Spell it? Big D, little i, big N, little ozzo."
Tony hangs up..."God, I love when I do that."
"Where did you find Goth baby clothes, Abby?"
"I made them myself, Ziva." grinning
"Well, thanks."
"Yeah and they're uni-sexual, so it doesn't matter if you have a boy or girl. By the way, do you know the sex of the baby yet?"
"Nope, I want to be surprised."
"Here, Ziva...this is from me." handing her a medium sized box
"Thanks, director." ..as she starts to open it
"You can call me Jenny, you know."
Ziva opens the box and inside is lingerie
"That's for after the baby is born, of course."
Ziva puts it back in the box. "He'll never see it."
"Come on, you don't mean that." Jenny trying to comfort her
"Look at me, I'm fat." ..as she eats another cookie
"No, you're not, you're pregnant."
"You'll be back down to weight in no time, Ziva." Abby added
"...and it's not like it stops you guys from having sex, right?"
"We have sex all the time."
"This may be out of line, but as the only one here not to have sex with Tony...how good is he?"
Jenny and Ziva both look at her evilly...
Meanwhile, Tony arrives at McGee's.
Tony knocks on the door..."Come on, McGee, open the door."
"What you want, Tony?" Tim opens the door
"They're having a baby shower at my place, I'd thought I'd hang over here with you for awhile."
"You can stay if you want, but I'm in the middle of a chapter of my new book."
"New book? Is Special Agent Tommy in this one, too?"
"I'm not telling."
"Come on, Probie...Mcspill it!"
"Nope, sorry, Tony."
"You suck...anyway, get dressed, we're going over to surprise the Boss."
"Surprise him with what?"
"You'll see..."
"Tony...the last time you tried something on Gibbs, he head slapped you for an hour."
"Yeah, I know...but this is GOLD."
Tony and McGee pull up next to Gibbs house
"Grab the box in the back seat, McGee."
Tim grabs it and they head to his front door...Tony picks the lock
"You've definitely spent too much time with Ziva, Tony."
"Shhh...be quiet.."
"He's not home, Tony...his car isn't here."
They go inside and go into the basement.
"What the hell is that, Tony?"
"That's a brand new bass boat, McGee."
"How'd the hell you get it in here?"
"Practice."
Tim puts down the box and looks inside, "An electric drill and sander?"
"Give me the banner, Probie."
"Congratulations Goddaddy? Are you freakin' nuts, Tony?"
"There, finished. Looks good, doesn't?"
The sound of a door unlocking is heard..."Oh god, he's coming."
"Quick, hide McGee."
"Where?"
Tony points at work cabinet...and they both run and jump inside.
"Crap, forgot to turn the light off"...Tony jumps out, turns off the light and jumps back in
"Tony..'
"Shhh..."
Gibbs turns on the light..
McGee starts to talk, but Tony grabs him and puts his hand over his mouth. "Shut up, McGee." very softly...then takes his hand off
Gibbs starts going down the stair..."Congratulations Goddaddy?" He puts his hand over his face. "What am I gonna do with you, DiNozzo?"
Gibbs looks at the bass boat. "McGee!"
"Yeah, Boss?"
"What the hell, Probie?"
Tim opens the door...and gets out.
"Hey, Gibbs."
"Get out of there, DiNozzo!"
"How'd you know we were in there?
"McGee's teeth."
"Damn you, McGee...and your good teeth."
"What is all this, DiNozzo?"
"Remember when my dad cut me off?"
"Yeah."
"Well, since I'm finally having a kid, he re-opened my trust fund and when I was here last week you didn't have a boat down there, so I thought, hey, Boss needs a new boat."
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, there you go...of course, if you don't like it, I can send it back."
Gibbs shakes his head...
"Boss?"
"Nothing...thank you."
"Boss, I know you build the boats in your basement for a reason...that's why the bass boat has a trailer."
"What, no truck, DiNozzo?"
Tony walks into squad room and notices a box on his desk, inside are the electric drill and sander.
"I had Abby sell the boat on ebay, I got nine thousand for it...that'll buy a lot of lumber. Thanks, DiNozzo "
Tony looks shocked..."You're welcome, Boss."
Tony lays back and puts his feet on his desk..."Man, we had a wild time last night, McGee."
Tony takes off his glasses and looks around..."Where the hell is McGee?"
"He's not in yet, DiNozzo."
"Crap, am I early or something?"
"Nope, late as usual."
"Huh, that's very un-McGee like, Boss."
Tony calls McGee..."Nothing...maybe his sister was framed for murder again, Boss."
"What did you guys do last night after you left my house."
"Nothing much...stopped at this bar, had a couple drinks...wingman'd up for McGee, had a woman hooked for him, but he puked on her shoe...totally blew it...then I took him home. He had a half a beer, Boss."
"If you worried about him, go over there."
"I think I will, but I have to go see Abby for a minute, you need me to take anything to her, Boss?"
"Nope."
Tony goes downstairs to Abby's lab with caf-pow in hand
"Hey Abby, how was the baby shower?" ...holding out the caf-pow
She takes it, puts it down then hugs him
"I love your hugs, Abby...you grind in all the right places."
Abby playfully slaps his chest, "Tony!"
"Heh...just telling the truth."
"What can I do for you?"
"Oh, I just came to give Sienna's godmother a card she made her."
"Awww, that is so cute."
"I'll tell her you loved it."
"Thanks, Tony...and I'll call her later. Oh, sorry about the whole boat thing."
"It's cool, I didn't think he'd take it...and it was his after all."
Tony starts to leave, "Oh Abby, have you heard from McGee today?"
"Nope, not today...anything wrong?"
"Naw, he's just late...I'm going over there now."
"Ok, let me know, Tony."
Tony leaves
Tony arrives at McGee's place
Tony knocks..."McGee, you in there?"
McGee neighbor comes out, "stop all that racket!"
Tony looks at him..."What?"
"Why is there so much yelling coming from that apartment!?"
"What the hell you talking about?"
"There was constant yelling from that place last night."
Tony takes out his gun and points towards the neighbor, "get back in your apartment."
"Probie!" ...knocks on the door again..."Tim!"
Tony kicks in the door..
Tony kicks in the door...he walks in and starts to look around, nothing seems to be out of place...nothing is stolen, all his computers and equipment are untouched. His workbag is still on his desk.
"McGee!?"
Tony walks into the bedroom, the bed is made and hasn't been slept in...he finds his cell phone on the nightstand next to his bed, Tony checks it, his last call was to a local arcade at 11:12 p.m., last night...Tony hits send and a computerized voice says they don't open until 10 a.m.
Tony calls Gibbs
"Boss, he's not here...there's something wrong, he left his cell phone and work bag. "
"Have I checked his car? No...on it, Boss."
Tony walks out of McGee's place..
Tony looks through the windows of McGee's Porsche...
"Man, that thing is tiny."
Tony hears a commotion from the roof of McGee's apartment complex.
Tony runs back into McGee's apartment and checks the windows, a fire escape leans upwards...Tony gets on it and quickly ascends
"McGee!?"
Tony now on the roof..."Ruby?"
"Hey, Tony."
"What's going on?"...Tony sees a unconscious partial naked McGee behind her..."He's not dead, is he?"
"No, just asleep"
"No, don't tell...he fell asleep again in the middle..."
She starts to cry..."y-yes."...Tony gives her a hug..
"it's not you, Ruby, this is totally on Timmy."
"That's what he told me."
"I would believe him, he's a lot smarter than me and you believe me, right?"
"I suppose..."
"Hey, why don't you come to my party on Friday...McGee will be there, I'll make sure he washes behind his ears and stuff, make sure he drinks a lot of Mt. Dew. Don't worry."
"I'd love to come."
"I do have one question, though...why are you on the roof?"
"When I arrived last night, I could smell perfume on him and we had an argument...the neighbor started yelling at us to stop, so we took it outside, we drank a couple bottles of wine to cool down and we talked...and then things got a bit sexual and...then he fell asleep...then I woke up around 20 minutes ago and we tried again and he fell asleep again."
"He fell asleep twice!? Poor Probie"
"No, poor Ruby.'
Tony calls Gibbs
"Found him, Boss. He's still a dud."
click
Ruby starts to leave..."What time Tony?"
"Seven." ..and she leaves
Tony walks over to Tim and picks him up, putting him over his shoulder...when McGee's pants fall down around his ankles
"McGee, we definitely need to talk about stuff. You're making men look bad everywhere."
Tony carries him down the fire escape and back into his apartment..."Time for a shower, McGee."
Tony walks into bathroom and puts him in and turns only the cold water on.
McGee screams as Tony brushes his head with a scrubbing brush..."yeah, behind the ears!"
"Tony, that's for scrubbing the toilet with!"
"Ewwww" tosses it in the shower with Tim .."take a shower, I'll be in your kitchen looking for food."
McGee quickly turns the hot water on..."What in the hell just happened?"
Tim walks into the kitchen after showering and getting dressed
Tony is eating a pop tart waiting for him..."Thanks for the pop tart, Probie."
"Go ahead, make fun of me, Tony."
"For what?"
"You know."
"Nope, sure the first time, but not after that, you have a problem Tim...and I'm gonna help ya."
"How are you gonna help me?"
"Behold, the awesomeness that is Tony DiNozzo."
"What does that mean?"
"I dunno, but it sound cool"...flicks his teeth with his tongue..."...but for real Tim, I'm gonna help ya."
Tony walks over to McGee
"Gibbs has his rules...now, here are mine for the ladies...number one...so grab a piece of paper and pencil, Probie!"
"Are you serious, Tony?"
"Yeah, except for the whole pencil and paper thing, I'll record it for you on a tape later, but anyway...number one, when you go out with a woman, never drink more than she does...number two, when she asks you how she looks, always tells her she looks great, even if she looks bad...number two and half, never ever and I mean ever answer the...does my ass look fat in this...question yes unless you've been in a relationship at least two years and that's pushing it."
"Are there gonna be a lot of these, Tony?"
Tony gives him a look..
"Go on."
"Next, number three; women love flowers, especially out of nowhere...not just when you're sorry. Number four, when a woman asks you what you're thinking, don't say I don't know, it pisses them off. If you have to, make something up, but it's good to just say, you're thinking of them...they love that, they love attention. Number five, if you're tired and about to make love, suck it up and be on top, you can't fall asleep if you're the one in motion...and if you do, Timmy, it's probably a good idea to stop all together. Number six, wash a woman's hair, they can't get enough of it, Probie...you wash her hair then brush it afterwards, it's like their putty in your hands. Number seven, cook for them, women love a man who'll actually spend time making something for them, from the heart...and if all else fails, buy something out and then serve it in your own dishes, that works, too. Number eight, take care of yourself, shave in all the right places, women like a well groomed man, as we like a well groomed woman."
"That's a lot to remember, Tony."
"We just got started, Probie...but we gotta get goin', so get your gear...I'll tell ya more on the way there."
Tony pats McGee on the back..
Tony and McGee now in Tony's car
"You know, I was worried about ya, Tim….you're one of my only friends in the world, it would totally suck to lose you."
Tony rubs Tim's head
"…and forget about those ladies rules, as long as you're both happy, that's all that matters."
"I'll take all the help I can get, Tony."
"Well, maybe I'll tell you some more later."
Tony takes out a small box from the inside pocket of his leather jacket
"Hey, McGee…what you think of this?" ..handing it to McGee.
Tim opens it…"Is this an engagement ring!?"
"Sure is."
"I don't believe it…you're gonna ask her to marry you?"
"Yup…it's either that or get killed by her mom." …Tony goes silent for a second…"…but seriously, I'm ready, Probie. I'm past ready."
"I'm glad for you, Tony...this must've put you back a pretty penny."
"There's no value on love, McGee."
"Sounds like you really have changed, Tony."
"Now, back to you and Ruby….I think it has more to do with outside distraction than the relationship itself."
"What do you mean?"
"Well…do you usually write for your book every night?"
"Yeah…usually 15 or so pages, then re-write, then edit."
"Well, there you go…you're probably doing that for what, 2 hours? Plus 10-12 hours at work. No wonder you fall asleep. You're tuckered out before she even comes over."
"Huh…that kinda makes sense."
"Yeah. Look at me, I work, I go home, I play hide n seek with Sienna, then Ziva makes me her sex puppet and I sleep like a baby. You'll get used to it, Probie."
"But she'll never talk to me again, Tony."
"Aww, McGee…she'll be at my party, things'll turn out ok."
"You really think so?"
"Yeah, of course…and if you ever need anything, Tim…anything at all, I'm there for you."
McGee takes out his gun and realizes he forgot his clip
"You got another clip, Tony?"
"Look in the glove box, should be a few in there."
"It's locked."
"Aww, right, it's Sienna proof now…I'll get it for ya, when we stop."
Tony phone rings…
"Hello?"
Tony slams on the breaks and does a quick 180 and floors it
"What's up, Tony?"
"Baby time…"
Tony races towards the hospital
"What did Gibbs say, McGee?"
"He's on his way with Abby and he said he'd tell the director and Ducky." as he hung up his cell
"Good probie, McGee!"
Tony is sky high..."I'm gonna be daddy! I'm gonna be daddy! I'm gonna be a daddy!"
"Aren't you nervous, Tony?"
He continues to sing, "Naw, I'm scared.."...a horn goes off..."...less, McGee."
Tony points at McGee..."sing with me, McGee!"
"I'm gonna be a daddy!"
"You're gonna be a daddy!?"
"I'm gonna be a daddy!"
"You're gonna be a daddy!"
They continue, dashing through numerous red lights
They arrive at hospital and Tony drives up to ER entrance and gets out
McGee scoots over and goes to park the car as Tony runs inside
"NCIS, I'm looking for a pregnant Israeli woman!" Tony shows his badge
They all point to room 3, even all the people in the waiting room..."GOOD LUCK!"
Tony runs in..."My little Israeli flower!"...just then a bedpan flies and hits Tony in the face...
"You must be the father." a orderly said as he helped Tony up .."it's rare, but that does happen from time to time."
Tony rushes to Ziva's side, holding her hand "I'm here."
Ziva grabs him by the tie and yanks him downwards, "Where the hell were you?"
"I went to McGee's, he was missing."
"I called you at work 20 times."
"Why didn't you call my cell?"
She lets out a angry moan, "Tambalon!"
"You're not stupid, Ziva" kissing her on the lips
Ziva looks up at him...and lets out a half smile
"Doc, how is she?"
"She's doing well, a little angry, but fine."
"That's normal, doc."
Ziva elbows Tony in the gut.
"Ouch, so pointy."
"I'll give you pointy! Where's my purse."
"No knives today, dear."
"Six centimeters, doctor."
"What does that mean?"
"It means she's not ready yet, Mister..?"
"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."
"Huh?"
"Sorry, force of habit...Tony DiNozzo."
"Well, Mr. DiNozzo...wait, Tony DiNozzo...are you the one who played at Ohio State?"
"Yeah, that's me."
"I really thought you had a chance that year, you had a helluva team."
"It was heartbreaking."
"Yeah, your guard play was magnif.."
"Shut the hell up!" Ziva yells
"Oh sorry, well...she's almost ready, we'll be moving her soon to the delivery room."
"Thanks, doc."
Tony walks over to Ziva..."wow, I have a fan."
Ziva looks at him with disgust.
"I'm sorry."
McGee comes running in, "here's your keys.."...as he sees the doctor examining Ziva..."Whoa, that's...that's..."
"Snap out of it, McGee, you have seen that before!"
"Yeah, but not like that."
Tony looks at it..."Yikes!"
"I think I'm gonna go wait for Gibbs and Abby in the waiting room." He starts to walk out..
"Tim, wait a sec...take my gun and knife...just on the safe side." ..Tim nods in agreement as he takes them from Tony
"Ok, Ziva...are you sure you don't want an epidural?" The doctor asked
"No, it's against tradition."
"Can I have hers instead, doc?"
"TONY!"
"Sorry."
"How far apart are the contractions?"
"three or four minutes."
"Ok, Ziva, it's almost time." He motions to the orderly and nurses that it's time
Tony moves back to her side and holds her hand, she squeezes it really hard..."Damn, Ziva!"
"Consider yourself lucky, Tony...it wasn't my first choice..."...she lets out a angry moan..."...to squeeze!"
Tony gulps...
The doctors come in..."It's time." ..they get the bed ready to move..."Are you ready, Ziva?"
She nods...as she grabs Tony's tie and yanks him down to him. "Ready."
"I can't breath, Ziva."
"Good."
"Let's go, people."
They move the bed out of the room and through a set of double doors
Ziva again lets out an angry moan..."I hate you, Tony."
"I love you, too."
"God, I hate you!"
"I love you, too."
"If I had a gun, I'd shoot you."
"I love you, too."
"Ben elef kelev!"
"Whoa, say what you will about me, but lets keep Flotz out this!"
Ziva pulls harder on his tie and gives him an evil look
"I REALLY..."...screams..."HATE YOU, TONY DiNOZZO!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH I REALLY LLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!" gagging
Tony runs into a wall as they go through another set of double doors, knocking him down."
They continue on without him...
"...TONY!?"
Tony picks himself up..."I'm coming, sweet cheeks!"
Tony runs, but is stopped by an orderly before going into the delivery room.
"You are going in with us right, sir?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then put these on." The orderly hands Tony some scrubs and shoe covers and bag for his other clothes
Tony quickly takes off his leather jacket and starts undoing his pants.
"Sir! You can put those over your clothes."
"Oh..." He quickly buckles his pants back up and throws the scrubs on, then falls down trying to put the covers on his shoes.
"Tony, where the hell are you?"
"I'm coming, sugar plums!" ..as he gets up, but falls again, taking the orderly with him...
Gibbs and Abby arrive
"Hey, Boss, they took her into the delivery room."
"I wonder what she's gonna have. I hope it's a boy."
"What we need, another male DiNozzo running around."
"Gibbs!" Abby smacks him on the back of the head
"Holy crap, Abby!"
Gibbs looks at Abby..."I deserved that."
Abby acting tough..."Yeah, you did."
"Don't push it, Abs." Gibbs kisses her on the cheek...
Someone screams from down the hall..
"Was that Ziva?"
"No, it was DiNozzo."
The small box bounced across the floor, Tony dove for it, hitting his arm on a crash cart letting out a yell.
"Ben elef!" ..as he picked up the box and rose to his feet..."great, now I'm cursing in Hebrew."
Tony walks into the delivery room, "I'm here, Ziva." ...grabbing her hand and holding it.
She's sweating profusely
"Don't push, Ziva!." Tony moves more behind her and holds her tight
"We have some bleeding doctor."
"What's wrong?" ..a worried Tony asks
"Your baby is breeching."
"What!?!"
"It's coming out feet first."
"Is that bad?"
"We have to turn it around. Just tell her not to push."
"Don't push, baby.." He holds her tight and pushes her hair out her face .."You're doing a great job, honey." ...kissing her on top if the head
"Ok, we turned the baby around. Push ZIVA!"
Ziva screams as she pushes...Tony grabs her even tighter.
"Again, Ziva!"
She pushes again and this time, Tony screams with her. "Thatta girl!"
"The heads crowning"
"What?"
"You babies head is out."
Tony looks..."whoa, that's...beautiful is a disturbing way."
"One more good push, Ziva."
"Come on, baby...one more, do it for me!"
"I hate you TONYYYYYYYYY!"
The baby cries..."You did it baby, I'm so proud of you." Tony kisses her on the lips.
"You have a son." The doctor said holding up the baby
Tony starts to cry..."We have a son, Ziva..."
"Sir, would you like to cut the cord?"
Tony moves down to the doctor, "Whoa, that is HUGE...he takes after his old man."
"That's the umbilical cord, sir."
"Heh..I knew that!"
Tony cuts the cord and the doctor wraps the baby in a blanket and hands him to Tony.
"Oh my god, he has my eyes, Ziva...and my hair...and my nose. He's already a lady killer!"
Tony turns to Ziva.."Ziva!? Doctor, what's wrong with her!?"
"She's fine, she hemorrhaged a bit and she passed out, but her vital signs are good."
"Are you sure!?"
"I promise you, she's fine."
Tony leans down and kisses Ziva...
"Sir, we need to do some more tests and examinations on the baby."
Tony hands the baby to the nurse.
"Sir, you can go tell your family and friends the news...we'll take good care of them."
Tony starts to walk out...
"Doctor, we have a problem..."
Tony stops..."What's wrong, doctor!?"
Tony runs over to Ziva.
"We need to get her to the OR, stat!"
"You promised she'd be all right, doc. You promised, damn it!" ..as tears fall from Tony's eyes
Tony takes Ziva's hand and brings it to his face, "your hand is so cold."...he takes the ring out of the box and places it on her left ring finger..."Please..." ..as they roll Ziva out.
Tony stands in the middle of the room silent...
Ducky arrives with Jen, "Any news, Jethro?"
"Not a thing, Ducky."
"Awww, I know the attending ER chief, let me go talk to him."
Ducky walks off.
"Tony is gonna ask Ziva to marry him."
"What, McGee?"
"Yeah, I saw the ring...he showed it to me today."
"Wow, our Tony has really grown up, Gibbs."
"I guess he has Abs."
Ducky comes back, "Of course, it's his off day." ...he sits down..."However, I did hear they took someone to surgery from the OB wing."
"I hope it's not, Ziva."
"We all do, Timothy." ..as Ducky pats McGee's knee
Tony still stands alone in the room
A nurse comes in..."Please come with me, sir. I have someone for you to meet."
45 minutes later
A nurse walks into the waiting room..."Are you the friends and family of Ziva David?"
"Yes, we are...is she ok?" Abby asked
"She was just in surgery."
"Oh my god!" ..as Abby hugs Gibbs
"She's fine, ma'am."
"...and what about the baby, my dear?" Ducky politely asked
"Well, follow me and I'll show you."
"Aww, Abby, all is well..."
Abby smiles and they all follow the nurse
They all arrive outside the nursery and looks through the glass.
"I don't see it."
A nurse walks up to the glass and says, "name?"
"DiNozzo, please." Abby exclaimed
The nurse turns around and motions to another nurse...who walks over to her, she picks up a baby and carries him over to the glass, "His name is Anthony Michael DiNozzo Jr."
"Oh my god, he's adorable." Abby and Jen gush over him
"Good looking godson you got there, Jethro." ..as Ducky pats Gibbs on the back
The nurse puts him back...
"...and.."
"What do you mean, and?" McGee and Abby together
"This is Leroy Jethro DiNozzo." ..as she picks up another baby
"What!?" Jen screamed
"Are you kidding!?" Abby screamed
"Twins!?" a shocked Gibbs.."...and he named him after me?" Gibbs is in complete and total shock
"You know, we're never gonna hear the end of this. Tony having twins. His ego is gonna be in orbit" McGee said jokingly
Abby walks over to Gibbs, "He admires you that much, Gibbs."
Gibbs stares at the babies..
Tony is seen sitting next to Ziva in a chair, he's holding her hand and his head is resting on their linked hands
Tony repeats the saying, "ani ohevet otcha" over and over again.
"Where's Tony, anyway?" Abby asked
"He's probably with Ziva, Abigail"
Ducky walks over to the nurse's station and asks, "I'm looking for a Ziva David?"
"Let me check...yes, she's in recovery. She's just down this hall, then take two lefts and she's in the first room on the left."
"Thank you, my dear."
"Director, if you would...please escort Abigail and Timothy to Ziva room, I need to speak with Jethro for a moment."
"Sure, Ducky...come on, guys." The Director, McGee and Abby all head towards Ziva's room.
Ducky walks over to Gibbs.
"Jethro, are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask, Duck?"
"I haven't seen you like this ever, Jethro."
"I am totally humbled...he named his son after me, Ducky."
"Yes, it is quite the honor. You do know, you're the closest thing he has to a father."
"His father is still alive."
"Awww, yes, Jethro...but who did he call when Ziva went into labor? Where does he go when he needs help or a favor?"
Ducky moves to the other side of Gibbs
"He's your son, Jethro...just not in blood."
McGee and the gals arrive at Ziva's room
They do not go in, they watch from the hall as Tony still lies with his head on their hands repeating, "ani ohevet otcha."
Gibbs walks away from the nursery towards Ziva's room with Ducky
"Did you know anything about twins, Ducky?"
"Not a word, Jethro."
"Do you think Tony knew?"
"Absolutely not, he would've bragged."
They both laugh..."So, true."
They walk upon McGee and the girls waiting outside Ziva's room.
Abby hugs Gibbs once more, "You're crying black, Abs."
"I'm just so happy for them."
Gibbs walks into the room..."Tony?"
Tony looks to his left, sees that it's Gibbs and rises and walks over to him.
"Yeah, Boss?"
Gibbs hugs Tony..."You did great, DiNozzo."
Abby comes up from behind and hugs them both, "They're beautiful, Tony...absolutely beautiful."
Jen now joins the hug..."She'll be fine, Tony...she's tough."
Then Ducky joins..."Aww, Excellent job, Mr. DiNozzo."
Tony backs up...
"Probie, get over here!" Tony hugs McGee and gives him a kiss on the forehead.
"What was that for, Tony?"
"I didn't want you feeling left out."
"What are you all doing hugging like that?"
"Ziva!" Tony rushes over to her side.
"How do you feel?"
"Like I just gave birth, McObvious."
"Oh lord, he's turned her into a DiNozzo before the marriage."
"What marriage?"
"Oh dear.." ..as Ducky backs away
"Stop Ducky.."...Tony drops to one knee..."Ziva David, will you marry me?"
The room goes quiet...Ziva notices the ring on her finger...she brings her hands to her eyes, covering them...some tears escape..
"Yes." Tony gets up and hugs her and kisses her passionately
Everyone clears their throat at the same.
"Thank god, now your mom won't kill me."
"TONY!" said by everyone
"That's our DiNozzo."
"You love me, Boss."
"Unfortunately DiNozzo, I do." Gibbs goes to smack Tony, but instead rubs the back of his head gently.
"Awww, that's nice."
"Don't get used to it, Tony."
"Got it, Boss."
