RPOV

Its been a few days since I had talked to Evie and Mal..I've been trying to wrap my head around what Evie told me, is it even possible that he likes me? You know what fuck it! Im going to confront him and find out for myself.

I stomp my way over to the guys dorm room and pound on the door til Carlos opens the door

"Hey Raven, what's with all the banging?" he askes

"you're the reason why!" I yell

"what-"

"No! you are the reason why. First you kiss me and then run off, later you tell me that im special but don't tell me why…" I rant on

"Raven!..RAVEN! calm down!" he yells

"NO! I WONT CALM DOWN! Do you know how much I've been stressing myself out about whether you like me or not?!" he seems to be stunned into silence. My heart is beating so fast that I pretty sure that its close to blasting out of my fuckin chest. God im so fucking nervous that I actually think about booking it as far away from here as possible. Im serious though I really just want to turn around and run like my life depended on it. Im that fucking nervous. Im actually starting to think that Im over analyzing everything. To hell with it, I turn and do exactly what I wanted, I booked it like Satan was on my tail.

I ran until I got to my hiding spot in a tree in the woods just off the tourney field. As far as I know no one knew about it so im safe for the time being, but I do know that sooner or later that Carlos is gonna come looking for me wanting an explanation that im not even sure I know how to explain what just happened or if I even could.

Sure I like Carlos…I mean love Carlos but how can I tell him that when I cant even look him in the eye…for fucks sake I cant even form a coherent sentence around him sometimes. Ill figure everything out eventually but for now im just going to stay in my hiding spot and listen to my music..who knows maybe he'll forget and I wont have to explain anything…I sigh..even I know that he wont forget but a girl can hope. For now though I will settle for my favorite song Sucker For Pain… I close my eyes slip shut as I listen to the lyrics

I torture you
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain

I'm a sucker for pain
I got the squad tatted on me from my neck to my ankles
Pressure from the man got us all in rebellion
We gon' go to war, yeah, without failure
Do it for the fam, dog, ten toes down, dog
Love and the loyalty that's what we stand for
Alienated by society, all this pressure give me anxiety
Walk slow through the fire
Like, who gon' try us?
Feeling the world go against us
So we put the world on our shoulders

I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain

I been at it with my homies
It don't matter, you don't know me
I been rollin' with my team, we the illest on the scene
I been riding 'round the city with my squad
I been riding 'round the city with my squad
We just posted, getting crazy, living like this is so amazing
Hold up take a step back, when we roll up, cause I know what
We been loyal, we been fam, we the ones you trust in
Won't hesitate to go straight to your head like a concussion
I know I been bustin', no discussion for my family
No hesitation, through my scope I see my enemy
Like what's up? Hold up, we finna re-load up
Yes I re-load up, I know what up, I know what up

I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain

I'm devoted to destruction
A full dosage of detrimental dysfunction
I'm dying slow but the devil tryna rush me
See I'm a fool for pain, I'm a dummy
Might cut my head off right after I slit my throat
Tongue kiss a shark, got jealous bitches up in the boat
Eating peanut butter and jelly fishes on toast
And if I get stung I get stoked, might choke
Like I chewed a chunk of charcoal
Naked in the North Pole
That's why my heart cold, full of sorrow, the lost soul
And only Lord knows when I'm coming to the crossroads
So I don't fear shit but tomorrow
And I'm a sucker for pain, it ain't nothing but pain
You just fuckin' complain, you ain't tough as you claim
Just stay up in your lane, just don't fuck with Lil Wayne
I'mma jump from a plane or stand in front of a train
Cause I'm a sucker for pain

Used to doing bad, now we feel like we just now getting it
Ain't got no other way so we started and finished it
No pain, no gain
Never stand down, made our own way
Never going slow, we pick up the pace
This is what we wanted from a young age

No emotion, that's what business is
Lord have mercy on the witnesses

I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm just a sucker for pain

More pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging...

As the song comes to an end I think that I should come out of hiding but i don't want to. In the distance I can barley hear the sound of my name being called, it sounds like the gang. I sit there for another hour before I hear the sound of footsteps below the tree im in, I look down and I see that its none other than Carlos. I moved slightly higher up the tree but stop dead…the longer I look at his face the more I can see that he's been crying. Why would he be crying?! the only time any of us have seen him cry is when Cruella use to beat him but she's still trapped on the island.