NCIS Wedding: DiNozzo-style
Four weeks later...Wednesday, three days until wedding...
"Special Agent DiNozzo, today is our last appointment isn't it?"
Tony sits down..."I believe it is. You're gonna miss me aren't you?"
"In a matter words, yes."
"I start to grow on ya, don't I?"
"Yeah...like a tick."
"Heh...I love it when the head doc gets a sense of humor"
"Now, for the reason we're here...how do you think your angry is at this moment?"
"Fine and I've never thought I had an anger problem."
"You didn't slap around anyone in interrogation?"
"Only dirtbags and people who deserved it."
She looks through papers
"Even so, violence is the best solution?"
"For my line of work? It definitely comes in handy."
"So, you don't have a problem with anything you've done?"
"Nope, I did what I thought was right...how I was taught...and I was taught by the best."
"Speaking of Gibbs, do you still deny getting smacked on the head numerous times by him?"
"Never happened."
"So, anger isn't a problem for you outside the job?"
"Absolutely not."
"How's fatherhood?"
"Amazing. Simply amazing."
She smiles..."I'm glad to hear that...do you get enough rest at home?"
"I get enough."
"Does it anger you when the babies cry constantly at night, keeping you from sleeping?"
"Crying means they need us and to be needed is the greatest thing."
"Well, Mr. DiNozzo...lets wrap our final meeting a little early."
"What no sex questions? Those are your favorite!"
"I think...I've heard enough about your sex life, it certainly puts mine to shame."
"You didn't say that when you wanted me to go into detail last week."
"Well, I needed to know last week."
"Oh, so the gears have been lubed now, huh?"
She quickly stands..."Thank you for coming, Mr. DiNozzo."
"I could stick around if you wanted me to, I have more stories."
"Please, for the love of God...go."
"I'll tell you about the time I went white water rafting in college with THE Ohio State girls volleyball team."
"ANTHONY!"
Tony stands up, "Ok, I'm going."
"Maybe you should sign up for some more appointments?"
"Heh...you wanna hear the story, don't ya?"
Tony starts to walk out..."Oh, here's an invitation to my wedding, if you wanted to go. It's an open bar, so even if the only thing you want to do is get ripped for free, it worth coming. That's why Gibbs is going."...he hands it to her and leaves..
"He'll be back..."
Tony walks into the squad room...
"Right on time, DiNozzo...we have a case. McGee, fill him in." ..as they all walk towards the elevator
"Supposively a marine was kill in a Chinese restaurant."
"Supposively?"
"Yeah, they aren't sure. Apparently they found marine fatigues near the body. From what we hear, it's a bloody crime scene." ..the elevator door closes
Now in the car
"Boss, did you get your tux?"
"Not yet."
"Me either."
"Tony, you're get married in three days and you don't have your tux yet!?"
"Nope...I take it you have your penguin suit, McGee?"
"Yes, Ducky and I went last Thursday."
"Is Ruby coming with you, McGee? Ziva said you plus oned."
"Yeah, we're dating again."...he pauses..."Don't say it, Tony."
"Say what?"
"Probably about him falling asleep on Ruby."
"Boss!"
"Why do you think I drink coffee so much, McGee?"
"I dunno."
"I always thought it was because you couldn't drink Jack at work, Boss."
"Good guess, DiNozzo."
They turn into the Panda Buffet Chinese Restaurant parking lot
"Oh man, this is Ziva's favorite Chinese restaurant."
"I come here, too, Tony...I love their eggrolls."
They all get out and duck under the police tape and walk inside
"Look likes the murder wasn't in the dining area, Boss."
"Ya think, DiNozzo?"
They walk into the kitchen and see a man hanging from a hook naked, his back to the camera, blood covers most of the kitchen floor.
McGee puts his hand over his mouth and rushes out the door and the sound of vomiting is heard.
"I guess he won't be eating here again, Boss."
"You all right, Probie?" Tony pats him on the back
"His...his thing is gone."
"Thing?"...looks back at the body..."Oh, his thing." Tony cringes..
"His eyes are gone, too."
"So, what we got here, a body part snatcher, Boss?"
Gibbs calls Ducky
"All right, Ducky said he'll be here in 10 minutes, so we got 20 minutes until he's actually here, lets look around, but no touching the body."
McGee again runs to the other room and vomits..."Probie's not looking so good, Boss." Tony goes out and checks on McGee
Gibbs walks over and examines the body, being careful not to step into the blood
"Boss, I got a couple bloody shoe prints by the back door, definitely not a marine boot...Nike Air logo." Tony takes a few pictures and takes a blood sample from the floor.
"I'm ok, Boss. Sorry."
"Talk to the owner, McGee."
"Got it, Boss."
"Hey, Gibbs...look up."
Gibbs looks up and sees a bloody cleaver stuck into the ceiling.
"The ceiling is about 10 foot, Boss." Taking some pics of the cleaver
"I don't like the look of this DiNozzo."
"Why, because our killer could be 8 foot tall?"
"No, I got blood on my favorite jacket."
"Man, I hate when that happens...hey, aren't we suppose to get new NCIS jackets soon?"
Gibbs closes a door..."Tony, get over here and take some pictures of this."
Tony walks over..."Voodoo, Boss?" Tony starts to take pictures of what seems to be a pentagram.
McGee walks back in..."...all she said was that, she opened up the door and she went into the kitchen and saw him and she ran across the street to the Laundromat and called the police. LEOs arrived 5 minutes later and they called NCIS 10 minutes later, because of the marine clothing."
"Tony, go look outback and take McGee with you."
"Come on, Probie..."
Gibbs looks at the body again..."He's definitely a marine, has a marine tattoo...what the hell happened to you?"
"Aww, Jethro, we need to stop meeting like this."
"Get to work, Ducky."
Ducky starts to examine the body, he places a thermometer in his liver...and checks out the rest of the body..
"TOD, Duck?"
"Six or seven hours, Gibbs."
"COD?"
"He bled out from the gash from his privates...the eyes were take post-mortem, Jethro."
"Any idea what was used?"
"It definitely wasn't from a knife, the cut isn't smooth, very jagged, almost like it was torn off."
"Did he just say his thing was torn off, Boss?" Tony cringes again...
"You find anything DiNozzo?"
"McGee found some bloody rope in the trash dumpster. We bagged it."
"Ducky...take the bod.."...McGee screams as Tony turns towards the door and runs to him..
"Boss, McGee found the marine's you know what...well, some of it."
"I grabbed it, Tony...with my hand, I didn't recognize it right away, then I freaked out and I threw it and it bounced off the side and landed on my bill of my cap."
"What the hell were you doing, playing catch Probie?"
Tim shakes..."Come on, Tim, get out of there. I'll get it."
"Thank you, Tony."
"Tony jumps in and grabs it and places it in a bag...you owe me big time, Probie."
"...any sign of the eyes?"
"I didn't see any, Boss, but I just got in there. You see them, McGee?"
Tim, still traumatized..."McGEE!"
"Yeah, Boss?"
"Eyes. Did you find any?"
"No."
"Hey, Ducky"...Tony handing him the bag..."I'll keep looking for the eyes, Boss."
"Come on, McGee. You've seen enough for the day."
twenty minutes later...
"Been all through the dumpster, Boss...no eyes."
"Ducky took the body back, go back and see if he finds out anything else."
"Where you gonna be?"
"Hosing off McGee." ...taking McGee by the arm
"Good luck, Timmy." ..as Tony leaves
Tony arrives at the morgue...
"Aww, Mr. DiNozzo, how is the wedding coming?"
"Honestly, Ducky, I have no idea, she's taking care of all of it."
"Smart man, very smart."
"You find anything out, Ducky?"
"His penis was bitten off."
"Ouch, by a dog or something?" Tony cringes
"No, Tony...the teeth marks look human."
"What!?"
"Yes, I took samples and sent them up to Abigail, hopefully we get DNA from saliva."
Tony making a painful face..."that's just awful, Ducky."
"Indeed and sadly, this happens more times than you'd think."
"Really?"
"I've worked on a couple myself. Usually they're in domestic violence cases."
"Remind me not to piss off Ziva."
"Awww, our dear Ziva wouldn't do that, Tony."
"Oh really? Right after the first time we made love, I went to take a shower and she joined me, she wasn't there for any leftover sex, she was there to imply her will and when I say will, I mean fear towards my private area. She kneed me in the groin, knelt across me and told me if I ever cheated she'd turn big D into no D..."
"She was just trying to scare you, Tony."
"She did a damn good job, Ducky...especially when she pulled the knife."
"Oh dear...and what did you say?"
"Help me!"
"You're screwed."
"I know, but thanks for stating the obvious, Ducky."
"Anyway, back to our marine...there was some trace in his left eye socket, looked like metal scrapings...I sent them up to Abby...I also found some possible needle holes on his neck."...Ducky points to them.."...so, it's possible he was drugged."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, he had some kind of sticky substance in his hair, Abigail has it, as well."
"Ok, let me know if you find anything else out."
Tony leaves...
Tony sits at his desk in the squad room
His phone rings and its Ziva
"It's set up, Tony...are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely."
"Are you sure you don't want me to be there?"
"No, I have to do it alone...what's the address?"
Tony writes it down
"Do you need anything, Zivalicious?"
"Nooner."
"Only a couple more days, Ziva."
"It's getting harder and harder to wait."
"It'll be worth it, I promise."
"It better be." She hangs up
"Man, I better eat my wheaties."
The elevator door opens and Gibbs walks out with a soaken McGee right behind him.
"You all right, Probie?" Tony tosses him a duffel bag..."These are my back-up clothes, ruin them and die, McGee."
McGee takes the bag and gets back into the elevator.
"What did Ducky tell ya, Tony?"
Tony tells him everything that Ducky told him...
"Bitten off, huh? That's a first for me."
"The thought of it still makes me cringe."
"Do I have to hose you off, too, DiNozzo?"
"That's ok, Boss...I remember the feeling, I'll pass on that, thanks."
"Anything from Abby yet?"
"Nothing yet."
Tony gets up and walks over to Gibbs...
"Boss, what was your father like?"
"What?"
"Oh, I'm just having lunch with my father today and I'm dreading it, I suppose."
"He can't hurt you, Tony."
"I know that, it's just that he thinks of me as a huge disappointment."
"That's his problem, he failed you, not the other way around. If anything, he disappointed himself."
"I'm not scared of anything, Boss...except him."
"You're not a child anymore, DiNozzo, snap out of it!" Gibbs stands up and smacks him on the back of the head...
"Thanks, Boss."
"Of course, I could go with you and kneecap him, if you want."
"Tonya Harding, huh?"
"Who?"
"She was an ice skate...nevermind..."
"Tony..."
"Yeah, Boss?"
Gibbs points to his head
"Got it, Boss."
Tony leaves to go have lunch with his father..
Tony sits at a small table in a small out of way Italian restaurant, he's been waiting there for some time, only ice remains in his glass
Tony takes his cell out of his pocket and starts to dial...
"Anthony?" ...as a tall, older gentleman in a double-breasted suit walks up
"Yes?"
"How are you, my son?" ...as he comes closer, more into view, the lighting inside is quite on the dark side.
"Father?"
"Yes, it's me." ...as he takes a seat across from Tony, he looks exactly like Tony, except for graying hair along his temples and maybe weighing 50 more pounds than him. Two men stand in the background.
"I heard you went to see my sons awhile back."
"I tried, that woman of yours...very nice, Anthony. But her mother...rompipalle!"
"...and then some."
"Oh, I bet...how have you been?"
"Do you honestly care?"
"Sure I do, I admit it, I messed up, but you're my only child and you now have kids, it should be a happy time for our family."
"Is that the only reason you want me in your life now, because of my children?"
"I won't lie, it's a big reason...that's for sure. Hey, I opened up your trust fund, didn't I?"
"That was mine to be begin with, mom was the one from money."
"Hey, don't be like that."
"Be like what, you've treated me like crap my entire life."
"What, it's wrong to raise a child to be strong?"
"Congratulations...I'm strong and I fear nothing, except failing and disappointing you."
"Come on, Anthony...it wasn't always that bad."
"Sure wasn't good, you made me dress up as a civil war soldier and carry a crap bucket around and people called me the little pooper boy. I was 10, dad...freakin' 10."
"I bought you things, I spoiled you rotten."
"You tried to buy my love and after awhile I gave in, because that was the only thing I was ever gonna get from you."
"I tried, Anthony...after you mother died, things were hard on me."
"Oh come on, you had a new woman every week and people wonder why I've had commitment problems in the past."
"Hey, you're a DiNozzo...the ladies love us...and...I can't stop living just because your mother died."
"Do you even miss her?"
"Oh course, I do...what kind of question is that?"
"What color were mom's eyes?"
"I don't know, I don't remember."
"How can you forget about something like that?"
"Fine, Anthony...I'm a bastard, what do you want from me? Want me to kill myself?"
Tony sighs..."It's too late for that, the damage is already done."
"What can I do, Anthony...please tell me, I'll do anything!?"
"I dunno, dad...I dunno if there's anything you can do."
"Give me a chance, Anthony...I'm beggin' ya. Look, let me come to your wedding, let me show you I can change. I promise you, you won't regret it."
Tony runs his fingers through his hair..."Fine, dad...come to my wedding and after that, we'll talk again, but I swear to god, if you do anything to make me regret this...you will never see your grandchildren EVER."
"That's all I wanted to hear...I won't fail you, Anthony."
"No, dad...don't fail yourself."
Mr. DiNozzo waves at the waiter..."Ciao!"
The waiter comes over...
"Give my son the veal parmesan, it's too die for!"
"Excellent and for you, sir?"
"I have business, Anthony...I won't be staying, it was great to see you."
Mr. DiNozzo gives Tony a soft smack on the face..."Be good, my boy." ...and he leaves.
25 minutes later, after Tony finishes eating
"How much do I owe you?"
"Nothing, sir...it was on the house."
"Oh, thank you." Tony pulls out a 5 and hands it to him..."here's a tip."
"Grazie!"
Tony walks out of the building and heads toward his car, when a van speeds up next to him and 3 guys dressed all in black, with masks on jump out and grab Tony and push him inside, where they give him a shot in the neck, knocking him out.
The man in the passenger seat motions to one of the men in the back to get him Tony's phone.
He opens it up and dials a number...ring...ring...ring...
Ziva answers, "I was just thinking about you Tony."
silence..
"Tony?"
silence...
"Tony are you there?"
"Shalom, Ziva..."
"Father?"
Tony sits handcuffed to a chair, his head covered with a black hood in a darkened room, he's still unconscious.
A man, his face now unmasked brings a tray over to the left of Tony and places several items, including a syringe, a bottle of some drug, a scalpel, artery clips, amongst other things.
The leader of the men searches through Tony's wallet, then tosses it in a box with the rest of Tony's things..."Wake him up."
Tony is given a shot, which brings him around...Tony's head starts to move slightly...
"Mr. DiNozzo..."
Tony doesn't answer...
"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo..."
Tony still struggles...now looking through Tony's eyes and all you see is darkness...Tony lets out a soft moan...
The leader slaps Tony in the face four times..."Wake up!"
Tony shakes his head..."Where am I?"
"Finally, Mr. DiNozzo...you're awake."
"Who are you?"
The leader backhands Tony in the face..."I ask the questions here."
Tony starts to shake his whole body...trying to get loose...
"Stop or I'll continue hitting you."
"What are you, a coward? Is the only way you can beat someone up is by tying them up?"
"Stop, I've had more years of training than you've been alive."
"Man, you must be old."
The leader backhands him again.
"No sense of humor, I see."
"Do not test me, Special Agent DiNozzo."
"Ok, you know my name, who are you?"
He backhands him again...
Meanwhile at NCIS, Abby's Lab
Gibbs steps off the elevator
"What you got, Abs?" ...handing her a caf-pow
"Absolutely no prints, not a one."
"Professional."
"You get a name?"
"He's Sgt. James Dixon, he was in the middle of a transfer, coming from Camp Pendleton."
"What was his last assignment, Abby?"
"He was second in command of their supply."
"What else, Abs?"
"The DNA on his penis was female and I ran it through CODIS and it came back to a known prostitute, Rachel Ridgeway. Here's her address." ...Abby hands Gibbs a piece of paper with the info on it.
"Was anything in his system?"
"Yes, erowid methaqualone..."
"Quaaludes, Abs?"
"Yes."
"What about the gum in his hair."
"Strawberry and it also had Ridgeway's DNA in it."
"Anything else?"
"Oh the scrapings from his eye sockets came back as aluminum shavings."
"Like from something that's been milled out?"
Abby shrugs...
Gibbs leaves and enters the squad room...
"What...DiNozzo isn't back yet?"
"I've tried calling him three times in the past 10 minutes, Boss."
"Lets go, McGee...we need to pay a visit to a hooker."
"Boss?"
"Off your ass, McGee!"
They leave via elevator...
Back to Tony
"You hit like a girl, grandpa."
"HAHAHA"
"What's so funny?"
"In my language it's Zaide."
"Why would I care how to say grandpa in some stupid foreign language."
The leader speaks Hebrew to his men...Tony is silent...
Ziva arrives at NCIS, all 3 of the children with her.
"Sienna, hit that button for me."
Sienna hits the button and they step into the elevator...they get off on the squad room floor, but no one is there..
"Stay close, Sienna." ...as Ziva carried the boys up the stairs to the director's office.
"Ziva, what you doing here?"
"Where's Gibbs?"
"I dunno, have you called him?"
"I can't, my phone might be bugged."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think my father kidnapped Tony."
"What!?" Jenny picks up the phone and calls Gibbs
Ziva hangs up the phone..."You can't tell him anything about this...just tell him to come here."
"We're in NCIS, I think things are secure."
"I don't want to take a chance, Director. Please."
"Fine..."...she picks up the phone and calls Gibbs, but he doesn't answer...so, she called McGee and tells him to get back here ASAP.
"Thank you, Director."
Gibbs and McGee inside Ridgeway's apartment
"Tell me about the marine you had a date with last night?"
"Someone paid me 1500 bucks to show him a good time, he was at motel, I went in, I did my thing, then left. It was over in about 2 hours."
"Who paid you?"
"Some older guy, weird accent."
"Think you can go with the police and give a description?"
McGee's cell rings...he walks into another room and answers it...
"No, but he did give me the money, I still have one of the hundreds he gave me."
"Can I have it?"
"You got a hundred to replace it?"
"McGee?"
"Yeah, Boss?"
"You got a hundred dollar bill?"
"Yeah, I think so, Boss...why?"
"Give me it."
McGee takes the hundred out of his wallet and hands it to Gibbs...he then hands it to her and takes the hundred from her with a latex glove.
"Get this back to Abby, Tim."
"Boss, that was the director...she wants us back, ASAP."
"Lets go then."
They head back...
Back at NCIS
Abby now in the director's office
"Why are the kids here, Ziva?" Abby asked
"I can't trust my mother."
"Why?"
"She's very submissive to my father. She'll fold like lawn post."
"Lawn chair"
"Whatever..."
"Why do you think your father kidnapped Tony, Ziva?"
"I got a call from Tony's cell and it was my father."
"Was he invited to the wedding?"
"No. He shouldn't be in the country."
"It's gonna be ok, Ziva...Gibbs will take care of this." Abby gives her a hug
LJ starts to cry..."May I?"...Ziva nods to Jenny...Jenny picks him up and starts rocking him..."Shhh, sweetheart, shhhh."
Back to Tony
Tony struggles to get loose
"Tisheeteki!" ...as Tony is backhanded again.
Tony moves his jaw around, popping it..."My 5 year old daughter hits harder than you!"
Tony is punched in the face...
"A lot harder."
He's punched again
"This is getting boring."
One of the men takes a gun out, cocks it and points it at Tony, "Stom ta pe!"
"I hope your aim is better than punching."
The leader grabs the gun as the gun fires, barely missing Tony. "Tembel!"
"I guess not."
The leader kicks Tony in the chest, he falls backwards, hitting his head, knocking him out...
Gibbs and McGee arrive back at NCIS
"Get that bill down to Abby now, McGee."
"On it, Boss." ...as Tim gets back on the elevator
Gibbs goes up the stairs and sees Ziva and the kids
"What are all you doing here? As something happened to Tony?"
"I think my father kidnapped him."
"What? Why in the hell would the director of Mossad kidnap Tony."
Ziva stands there pointing at herself, then her kids.
"Oh...I take it he shares your mother's opinions of Tony."
"Obviously worse, Jethro." ...as Jenny puts LJ back in his car seat...
"Help me, Gibbs...I'm afraid for Tony and my children..."
"Ziva...no harm with come to them..." ...Gibbs notices Abby..."McGee just took something down to your lab for analyzation."
"I'll go down there right now, Gibbs." ...she rushes out the door
"Abby, tell McGee to get his ass back up here, I need him!"
Back to Tony
Tony is splashed with water, waking him...Tony's left hand is badly hurt from the fall, it seems his thumb and index finger are either broken or dislocated
"Sit him back up."
The leader walks over to Tony...
"Are you going to behave now?"
Tony doesn't answer...
The leader backhands him once again.
"Shakli b'tahat!"
"Aww, you speak Hebrew...you're not as dumb as I thought. You're still not good enough for my Ziva."
Tony is silent..
"So, now you know...but do you want to know why I've kidnapped you?"
Gibbs and Ziva now in the squad room, the kids are still upstairs with Jenny
"This is the address where Tony was meeting his father for lunch." ...she writes it down and hands it to him.
McGee steps off the elevator..."Abby said you wanted me, Boss?"
"Yeah, track DiNozzo's phone, tell me where it was last used."
"What happened to Tony now?"
"He was kidnapped."
"Again? You're joking right?"
"Does it look like I'm joking, McGee?"
"On it, Boss!"
McGee goes to his computer...he types for about 30 seconds..."Ok, I got."
"Good, put it up on the big screen, McGee."
McGee clicks a few keys and it pops up.
"Gibbs, it's exactly the address I gave you."
"Don't worry, Ziva...we'll find him...McGee, did Abby get anything from that bill?"
"Not yet, Boss."
Gibbs, under is breath..."hang in there, Tony."
Back to Tony
Tony still silent
"How does it feel to be lied to for over 2 years?"
Director David paces back and forth in front of Tony
"You've been betrayed."
Tony still silent
"Ziva has been lying to you all since the day you met her."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's been spying on you."
"She quit Mossad to join NCIS."
David stops..."Aww, that's where you have it wrong, she's still in Mossad, to this very day."
"Why the hell are you telling me this then?"
"Because she's gone rogue...and she's done this because of you. We haven't gotten a report from her in nearly 10 months...you see, since she got pregnant with your evil spawn, but now...I'm taking her back."
"Why spy on NCIS? Why not the CIA?"
"Because you killed my only son..."
"Hopefully he's still burning in hell."
He punches Tony in the face
"Your son was pathetic...he begged before I shot him..."
He punches Tony again
"He got on his knees and begged...he was a coward...a pathetic excuse for a man...he pissed his own pants..."
David pulls a gun and points it at Tony..."shut your mouth!"...cocking the gun..
Gibbs, Ziva and McGee arrive in the lab..
"What you got Abby? Anything on the bill?"
"Yes, but it's classified, top secret, Gibbs...I can tell you every law enforcement agency wants him, though...CIA, NIS, MI6, interpol..."
"It has to be my father, Gibbs."
"Is he really that hands-on, Ziva?"
"He used to be, but not recently."
"Anything at all, Abs?"
"I got nothing, Gibbs...I'm sorry."
"Ziva, do you know any Mossad safe houses in D.C.?"
"Yes, a couple, but I doubt they would use them, since they know I'd be helping you."
"Give them to me anyway."
Ziva writes down the address..."Can I go with you, Gibbs?"
"Ziva...no, stay here and be with your children...Tony may be dead already, you know that...they can't lose both parents. I'll find him, Ziva. I'll find him."
Ziva backs up and Abby puts her hand on her shoulder...
Gibbs and McGee leave...
Back with Tony
"Come on, shoot...shoot me damn it...he tried to kill your daughter...and you still care about that son of a bitch!?"
"He was my son...my only son..."
"I take it back, you're the pathetic one...no wonder he grew up to such an ass..."
Tony is hit with butt of the gun..."You bastard, you ruined everything...you killed my son, you disgraced and molested my daughter...you've taken everything from me!"
"That's both of them, Boss."
"Damn it, where the hell are you DiNozzo!?"
Gibbs pounds on the steering wheel...
"The aluminum shavings."
"What, Boss?"
"McGee, check for machine shops around the area Tony was last seen and around the Chinese restaurant."
McGee works on his computer...
"I found four, Boss."
"Any abandoned?"
"There's one that was closed in November 2006, it's four blocks from Tony last known location."
"Address?"
"167 S. Garfield."
Gibbs races towards it
"There it is, Boss."
Gibbs pulls in across the street from it..."Get your vest on, McGee"...as Gibbs pushes the button to open the trunk...Gibbs joins him in the back and puts on his bulletproof vest..."Be precise, Tim. Don't hesitate."
Multiple gunshots are heard
"On my six, McGee."
They rush across the street...more gunshots are heard...Gibbs works his way to the front door. He kicks it in, "NCIS!" ...as he moves in with gun raised.
5 minutes earlier...
Tony lifts his head..."Zaide"...
David lowers his gun...
"A request..."
"Mah?"
"Take off the hood, so I may see you."
"Why?"
"I want to look into the eyes of the man who's going to kill me and I want that man to see who he's killing...to see the father of his grandchildren."
David walks over and unties the rope around Tony's neck and takes off the hood...David looks right into the eyes of Tony...his eyes are cold, evil...Tony squeezes his left hand with his right, pushing his thumb further toward his pinky, then pulls his hand out of the handcuff, but keeps his hands there until David turns around.
Just then Tony stands..."Sir!"...David bodyguards yell pointing at Tony rising, Tony picks up the scalpel from the table and throws it at the closest bodyguard, hitting him in the chest. He then grabs David around the neck with his left arm, pulling him tightly into his body and grabs his gun by twisting his hand back, breaking his thumb and wrist, David lets out a scream as Tony fires twice into another bodyguards chest, then shoots him once in the head.
Tony pulls him back, shooting the bodyguard with the scalpel in his chest in the head and moving directly behind David, eliminating any shot.
"Put it down! I'll kill him." ...as Tony holds the gun to David's head, the barrel pressing against his head, scorching his hair and skin. David screams, as the bodyguard maneuvers to get a shot.
Tony aims down and fires a round into David's foot. David screams..
"I said, put your damn gun down. NOW!"
He starts to lower his gun, when David yells at him in Hebrew...Tony pushes David downward and fires twice at the last bodyguard, hitting him the stomach. Tony stomps on David's right hand four times with his foot, smashing his hand, then kicks him in the ribs.
"Don't move!" ...as Tony walks over and fires a shot into the final bodyguard's head.
Tony heads back, pushing David against a worktable..."Get up!"...
"NCIS!" Gibbs rushes in..
"Beg me for your life, David."
"Tony, don't do it."
"He deserves to die." ...wiping away the blood from his mouth...
"You're better than him, DiNozzo. Think of the paperwork."
Tony laughs...
A gunshot goes off and David's face is covered in blood. Tony looks back at Gibbs, who looks back to see Ziva with a gun, smoke seeps from the barrel.
Tony is shocked, then quickly moves back to her, grabbing the gun...he fires twice more into David's chest.
"You weren't here, Ziva...McGee, take her back to NCIS."
"Tony..."
"Go, Ziva." He kisses her as McGee pulls her out the door
Tony sighs..."I hate paperwork, Boss."
Ziva and McGee in the car driving back to NCIS
Ziva has her face in her hands crying..
McGee's cell rings...
"Ziva...it's Tony for you."
"Tony.."
"Are you ok, Ziva?"
She wipes tears from her eyes..."No...and I have to tell you something."
"Ziva, I know and it doesn't matter."
"But.."
"No buts, no ifs...it's just over...things happen for a reason. We...us happened and it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't done what you did."
"...and Gibbs?"
"I'll tell him. I'll work it out."
Ziva is silent..
"Ziva, are we still getting married?"
Ziva laughs..."You bet your ass on it."
"Honey, would it be a bad time to tell you I haven't gotten by tux yet?"
"What!?"
"Uhh, gotta go!" ...Tony hangs up..
"I'm gonna kill 'em."
"Ziva?"
"Do you at least have your tux?"
"Yep, Ducky and I went last week...Tony told you he and Gibbs didn't get their tux's yet?"
"Gibbs, too? Harah!"
"Do you have your dress?"
"Ummm, maybe...are you still falling asleep on Ruby?"
"My life sucks..."
Two days later, Friday, the day before the wedding...8:15a.m.
"Special Agent DiNozzo, I see that you're back again."
"Yeah, I knew how much you missed me, Dr. Gillian."
"What do you want to talk about first?"
"You're the head doctor."
"Fine, how's your hand?"
"It's fine, just a couple broken bones."
"You're back on desk duty again until it heals?"
"Unfortunately."
"Angry about it?"
"Not as much as Ziva."
"Why?"
"She fears I won't be able to do some things on our honeymoon."
"Like what?"
"Heh...well..."
Dr. Gillian interrupts him..."Nevermind."
She looks through her report, "I see the Director pushed your shooting through quickly and declared it a good shooting. Special Agent Gibbs wrote off on it, as well."
Tony nods...
"How are you not traumatized by all this, Mr. DiNozzo?"
"Can't you call me Tony?"
"I'd rather not...lets keep this professional."
Tony shrugs..."Traumatized? I am...I can't get the image of Megan dying out of my head."
"I meant all the people you killed."
"No, not at all. If that bothered me, I couldn't do my job."
"So, killing doesn't bother you?"
"Absolutely not, it's not like I'm killing people just to kill them."
"You shot your soon to be wife's father...how did make you feel?"
"He was going to kill me, I don't feel anything except relieved that he's dead and I'm not."
"...and Ziva?"
"She's coping."
"How?"
"I'm helping...everyone on the team is helping...like the saying goes, time heals all wounds."
"It must not be that bad if you two are still getting married tomorrow..."
"We didn't want to give that bastard the satisfaction of ruined our big day."
"You still sound upset over him."
"He beat me, he was going to kill me...what do want from me? Want me to do some cartwheels and yell yippee!?"
"Mr. DiNozzo..."
"Look, I'm glad the bastard is dead...and if I had to do it all over again, I would."
"Ok..." ...she pats him on the knee..."We'll talk again when you get back from your honeymoon."
Tony rises...
"Take care of yourself, Tony."
Tony now at his desk, his head resting on his arms.
"Tony...I've been thinking."...a long pause...
"What, Probie?" ...his head still down
"How about I throw you a bachelor party?"
"What?"
"Come on, it'll be fun."
"Have you ever thrown a bachelor party, McGee"
"No...but all you need are strippers and alcohol, right?"
"In a matter of words, yes..."
"So, is that a yes?"
"Where would we do it, at your house? I don't feel like shooting your neighbor because he keeps complaining about the noise."
"I know...the paperwork."
"That, too."
"Maybe Gibbs will let us do it in his basement."
"HAH...and chance someone throwing up on his boat? ...and yes, I mean you, McQueezy."
"It was just an idea, Tony."
"I appreciate it, Tim."
Gibbs walks in...
"No, Tim."
"I didn't even ask yet, Boss."
"No."
McGee sighs..."Could we do it here? Maybe in the morgue?"
"That's sick, McGee."
"Really?"
"Naw, but we could all get fired for it...what do you think, Boss?"
"No."
Abby walks in..."Hey, Tony...how are you doing?"
"I'm fine, Abbycakes." ..she rubs the top of his head..
"Why don't you ask her, too, Tim."
"Ask me what, Timmy?"
"I've trying to find a place for Tony's bachelor party."
"...and you wanted to ask if you can have it at my place? Sure."
"Really?"
"Sure, the female body is a beautiful, beautiful thing, McGee."
"Too much information, Abby."
"Sorry, Gibbs..."
"Are you really sure, Abby?"
"Absolutely, I haven't throw a party in ages."
McGee gets up and walks off with Abby..."Tim, do you know where to get strippers?"...McGee nods no..."Don't worry, McGee...I got you covered."
"Ziva...come, I have surprise for you."
Ziva walks into the living room to find her mother holding up a wedding dress.
"This was my wedding dress...hopefully, you will be happier than I was on my wedding day."
"It's absolutely beautiful."...Ziva takes it from her mother and holds it up against her body.
"It may be a little tight on top, though."
"Yeah, I know, they're huge now!"
"That's what you get for having babies...especially twins."
"Tony loves them."
"Of course, he does...he's a man."
She moves over to Ziva, "He's a good man, Ziva."
"Wow, that's the first nice thing you've ever said about him."
"Not true."
"Mentioning about the size of his penis isn't exactly being nice, mother."
"I think he took it has compliment."
"That sounds like Tony."
"Your father hated him."
"I know, but he's gone now...and I am sorry, mother."
"For what? He was a horse's ass."
"What?"
"Yes, he was a mean old man."
"I never knew you thought like that."
"Why would you? It's none of your business."
"I know, but still...I want to know if my mother is happy or not."
"It's not about being happy, Ziva...it's about surviving."
"I can't live like that, mother...that's no way to live."
"I'm glad you have the choice."
Ziva hugs her...
"Ahavah olam..."…together
At Abby's...loud instrumental music is playing
"Abby, where's Tony!?"
"Last time I saw him he was in the kitchen!"
McGee walks into the kitchen, Tony is sitting at the table drinking a Mt. Dew.
"Why aren't you drinking, Tony!?"
"Not feeling it, Probie."
"Come on, I'm already on my"...McGee holds up one, then three, then five, then two fingers... "...beer."
"I hope Ruby isn't here."
"HAHA, very funny...why, have you heard something?"
"Damn, Probie...you're plastered already and it just started 10 minutes ago."
"I know, isn't it great?"
McGee runs off
"DiNozzo..."
"Wow, you came Gibbs?"
Gibbs sits next to Tony
"It's not everyday my senior field agent has a bachelor party."
"You came for the free Jack didn't ya?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
A naked McGee runs by...
"How many beers has he had DiNozzo?"
Tony shrugs and then sees Abby raise 2 fingers.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure he gets home, Boss."
McGee again runs by, now carrying a lid of a coffin...and Abby is chasing after him with a skull...
"You don't see that everyday."
Two women come in dressed as police officers..."ok, who's getting married tomorrow!?"
Tony points to Gibbs..."Here he is, ladies!"
They grab him by the arms and haul him off to the living room
"Damn you, DiNozzo!"
"Have fun, Boss!
Tony still sits at the table
"Tony...not having a good time?"
"Hey, Abby...naw, that's not it, it's just that...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm a one woman guy now."
"I have to tell ya...that does sound weird coming from you."
"Yeah, I know."
"There's nothing wrong with getting a lapdance, though...I get them all the time."
"I didn't know guys gave lapdances."
"Oh, they do, but I was talking about women."
"Ok, that's a little hot, Abs...no, wait...that's way hot."
Abby straddles Tony, with her back to him and she starts bouncing up and down on his lap.
Tony looks to his left, as Abby's head lays on his left shoulder..."May I help you?"
"Shut up, if you won't let them give you a lapdance, let me give you one."
Tony chuckles..."I really do love you, Abby, but come on..."..he eases her off him
"You're a stinker, Tony."
"I'm sorry." ...he holds out his arm and she jumps on his lap and they hug..."You're the best Abby."
Tony cradles her face in his hands and kisses her on the forehead, but Abby quickly moves her face and she kisses Tony on the lips.
"Whoa, did you just slip me some tongue, Abby?"
"Heh...now look who's sorry."
Tony sits there a little shocked at the fact Abby just French kissed him...
"What in hell just happened?"
Tony rises and walks into the living room..."Hey, Boss...having fun?"
Gibbs gives Tony an evil look...
"Ok, that's enough ladies...I'm the bachelor, not him."
"Awww, we were just started to have fun."
They untie Gibbs and start to move toward Tony..
"Sorry, ladies...lapdances are against my religion."
"The hell they are!" ...as Gibbs grabs Tony and places him in the chair..."See how you like it."
The camera pans back..."Watch those things ladies...you'll poke an eye out with one of those things."
The camera is now on Abby, tears fall down her face, her makeup starts to run...
Gibbs walks back, grabbing his glass of Jack.
Abby sits at the table, looking towards the back of the house.
"Hey, Abby."
"Hey." ...she sniffles..
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, Abby, talk to me."
She turns around...
"Why are you crying, Abs? Who hurt you? Just point him out."
"No one hurt me, Gibbs...I'm just sad."
"Oh...why?"
"It's complicated."
"What is it, Abs?" ...he puts his hand on her shoulder
"Why didn't Tony ever ask me out?"
"What?"
"Why am I the only girl at NCIS that Tony never asked out?"
"Awww, Abby...he sees you as more of a sister."
"I hate being the sister! The daughter, too."
"Was that aimed at me? I'm too old for you, Abby..."
"How do you know until you try?"
"I know, Abby...believe me...please don't cry."
She wipes her tears away...
"I don't get it, what is it about DiNozzo that every woman likes?"
"Do you want me to tell you, Gibbs?"
"No."
"He has..."
"Not a word Abby."
"Come on, you want to know..."
"No, I don't..."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"It's huge!"
"Abby!"
"Heh.."
Gibbs shakes his head..."Just know this...Tony and I would die for you, that's how much you mean to us."
She smiles..."I know."
"BBBBOSSSSS!" ...as other people start screaming...
Gibbs gets up and runs into the living as sees a woman with a knife, knees Tony in the stomach, then trying to stab him.
"Someone shoot this bitch!"
"Die, dog!"
Gibbs punches her in the face and she falls backwards
Abby jumps on top of her and starts smacking her face
"Abby!"
Gibbs grabs her and pulls her off.
"Damn DiNozzo, how many damn women want to kill you."
"I dunno who the hell that is Gibbs!"
"You killed my team." ...as she regains the knife from the floor and attempts to stab Tony again.
Gibbs punches her in the face once again..
"For the love of God, someone untie me!"
Gibbs unties him as the woman starts to get up again.
"Imekha zona!" ...as she goes for Tony again
"My mother is dead, bitch!" ...as Tony shoves his knife under her chin.
Tony stands..."I'm getting tired of this crap, Boss."
"Good thing you remember your knife, DiNozzo."
"Rule number nine, Gibbs. Rule number nine."
"Cool! Someone died in my house."
Tony and Gibbs both look at Abby
"What?" Abby shrugs..
Tony sighs..."I really, really, really hate paperwork."
"Check her pockets, DiNozzo."
"Where, Boss? She's wearing a bikini."
"Anyone know this woman?"
"No" ...from a lot of people
"I think she had a bag, though."
Tony walks toward the stripper, "what color was it?"
"Brown." ...there it is, pointing to it
Tony goes over and picks it up and looks inside. "No ID, Boss."
"Anything?"
"Just some clothes...wait, some car keys."
"DiNozzo, go outside and see if its out there."
Tony exits...clicking the unlock button as he walks down the street...the sound of unlocking is heard...Tony pats his pockets, "Damn, no gloves."...he locks it and goes back inside.
Tony walks back inside. "Got any gloves, Boss?"
"Abby?"
"Yeah, I have some, I'll get them." ...she walks past a still naked McGee, he's pasted out on the floor, a pizza box covering his privates.
"McGee!" Gibbs yells
"That Ruby is one lucky lady."
Gibbs walks over to the sink and fills a glass with water, then walks back and pours it on McGee's face. "Get up, McGee."
McGee struggles to get up, then realizes he's naked..."what...where are my clothes?" ...as he picks up the pizza box, covering himself
"Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but I think is ass is whiter than his teeth...you need to tan your ass, Probie."
"...and you need to stop killing people, Tony."
"Tony killed someone else?"
Tony sighs..
Abby returns and hands gloves to Tony..."Thanks, Abby...come on, Tim...lets find your clothes."
"You really tan your ass, Tony?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
Tony smacks McGee in the back of the head...
A now clothed McGee and Tony are outside...Tony unlocks the car and opens the driver side door.
"Check the backseat, McGee."
Tony turns on the overhead light..."it was just vacuumed, I doubt we'll find anything."
"I found something, Tony." McGee grabs a case from under the passenger seat..."I think it's a gun case."
"I'll be damned... spoke too soon."
McGee looks inside..."Nope, it's a needle."
"Looks like a interrogation/torture kit, Probie." ...as Tony clicks the trunk button
"You think she was Mossad?"
"Yeah, she said I killed her team."
"You really know how to piss people off, Tony."
"Don't remind me." ...as Tony moves back to the trunk.
"Nothing else, Tony."
Tony lifts the trunk and looks inside, there's a bag...he opens the bag and finds a camera and a big yellow envelope.
"I found something, McGee."
McGee joins him by the trunk...as Tony opens the envelope.
"Hey, that's you and Jeanne."
"Yeah, looks like we found their recon member."
"So, they knew Ari was still alive?"
"I'd say so."
"Wow, they spent close to two years trying to get inside NCIS, huh?"
"More than you know, McGee."
"What?"
"Nothing...get this car towed."
"Yeah..." ...as McGee leaves...
"Ziva..." sighs...
Tony sits at is desk, just finishing up with the paperwork from his latest killing.
He lowers his head
"Tony..."
Tony lifts his head..."hey, I remember you...Cindy, right?"
"Yes, I used to work down in accounting until I transferred away from NCIS."
"Oh, what are you doing here?"
"I dunno, this is your dream."
"Dream?"
"Yes, why else would I be dressed in a nurse's outfit?"
"Heh...good point."
"What about me, Tony?"
"Paula? Paula Cassidy?"
"You're a pig, Tony."
"You haven't changed."
"Neither have you."
"But I have."
"Doesn't look like it to me."
"What do you know, you're just a dream."
"Yeah, your dream...it's your doubts..."
"What..."...Ziva appears and starts walking away from Tony.
"Ziva! Stop!" ...she doesn't, she continues walking...Tony starts to run after her, but the faster he runs, the faster she runs.
"Stop, Ziva!" ...she continues running, as Tony chases her.
"I know what I want…I want you and only you!" ...Tony starts to catch up to her and just when he's about to catch her, he wakes up.
Tony raises his head...and then covers his eyes from the sunlight.
"Damn, what time is it?"
Tony struggles to focus on his watch, 10:17a.m finally comes into focus.
"Holy crap, I'm getting married in an hour and 43 minutes and I don't have my tux yet!"
Tony gulps..."Ziva is gonna kill my ass."
Tony unlocks his desk and takes out a box with a bow on it, then re-locks it, he grabs his bag, putting the box inside, then his jacket...he moves quickly to the elevator and pushes the button.
"Come on, come on...screw it." ...and Tony races down the stairs.
He runs into the parking lot and jumps into his car.
He opens up his phone..
"Boss, you know where to get a tux in less than an hour?"
laughter is heard over the phone
"Nevermind" ...as Tony hangs up
Tony is driving down the road..."what in the hell am I gonna do? She's gonna kill me."
Tony pulls into a gas station and goes inside..."Do you have some yellow pages?"
"Yeah." ...as the cashier hands him it
Tony quickly looks through it for tux rentals and finds one that's 10 blocks from where he is..."Thanks" ...as he hands him back the yellow pages
Tony jumps back in convertible and speeds off...he arrives at the tux place to find it closed for renovation..."Oh great, just my freakin' luck"
Tony again calls..
"Hey, Boss..."
"What?"
"Oh sorry, dad...I must've hit the wrong number."
"You sound upset, my boy."
"I'm about to die a horrible death...I don't have a tux yet."
"Aww, don't worry, I know a guy. Go to Hector's on 3rd and Main, tell them Mr. DiNozzo sent you and you need a emergency fitting."
"For real?"
"Yes, but watch Hector...he can be a bit handsy."
"Handsy?"
"You'll see."
"Thanks, dad."
Tony looks at his watch..."only 80 minutes to go...I am SOOOO dead"
10 minutes later
Tony walks into Hector's, a older man and a younger woman stand in the middle of the store
"I've been sent by Mr. DiNozzo for a emergency fitting."
"Aww, yes, we've been expecting you...what color? what color is her dress?"
"Black...white and off white."
"What shoes will you be wearing?"
"Damn it, I knew I forgot something."
"...and you really wanted to get married?"
"I suck all right."
"At least you admit it...anyway, I'll take care of you. How much time do I have?"
Tony looks at his watch..."68 minutes."
"Merda!" ...as he grabs his measuring cloth and starts measuring Tony
"So, are you Hector?"
"Yes, now be quiet, I'm working...someone bring him a cappuccino and a canole."
"Heh...it's like I'm at a mafia tailor..."
Hector gives him a look.
"Holy crap, I'm at a mafia tailor aren't I?"
"Don't move!" ..as Hector grabs his crotch
"Off the package, man!"
"Like it tight in the butt?"
"Hell no."
"I mean your pants."
"Oh..."
"It has to be snug...Luca, take these measurements."…Luca takes the measurements and heads in the back.
"Put your arms out to the side."
Tony does as Hector measures.
"You like your arms past the wrist?"
"Usually."
Hector now measures is neck...
"Definitely not tight around the neck, Hector."
Hector takes the rest of the measurements into the back
Ziva stand in her wedding dress, in front of a mirror
"You look amazing, Ziva...simply amazing."
"You really think so, Abby?"
"Yeah, for it being white and all...speaking of which, you're not a virgin, are ya?"
Ziva turns around...and Abby grins..."Wow, Abby, you're wearing heels."
"Yes, I know and I'm hating every second of it."
"Well, take them off." ...Ziva kicks her heels off to the side..."no one wears heels, it's a day to be comfortable."
Abby follows..."but what about the dress? It's very uncomfortable to me, too."
"Abby, it doesn't matter what you wear, it's just as long as you're here."
"Even for you or Tony?"
"I'll kill him if he comes in jeans and t-shirt...with my bare hands..."
"Ok, you answered that question."
Abby grabs her bag and goes into the bathroom...a few minutes later, she come out in a black and red skirt with a white blouse and a red tie and her hair up in pigtails..."that's better."
Jenny walks in, "only 20 minutes until you're Mrs. DiNozzo."
"Ziva DiNozzo...?" Ziva questioned
"I like it, it sounds exotic."
"I think it sounds sexy."
"I think it sounds like I'm married."
Luca comes out from the back
"Please take off your clothes."
Tony just stands there.
"Well?"
"I...I can't."
"Why?"
"I'm not wearing any underwear."
"I didn't mean out in the open, you dingbat!"
"Oh..." ..Luca points to a dressing area and hands him the suit and a pair of boxers
Tony puts them on and then comes out
"Stand on the platform...Hector will be right with you."
Tony stands on the platform, as Hector comes out...
"How does it feel?"
"Good, I guess."
"Can you bend over?"
"Why?"
"To make sure they don't bust.."
"Oh..." Tony bends over..."Nope, they're good."
"Aww, I need to hem the bottoms, it'll take me 5 minutes...is everything else ok? The jacket?"
Tony puts on the jacket..."wow, it feels great!" ...as he starts moving his arms around a lot, stretching and so forth
Hector grabs his crotch once again..."good, no space...I hate space in the crotch. Give me the pants, please." ...and he leaves..
Tony stands there shocked..."Don't worry, he does that to everyone." Luca explained
Tony slowly moved his hands over his crotch, covering them from future attacks.
"Here, put this shirt on...and I picked some socks and shoes out for you, as well. I put them on the couch over there." ...she points to it.
Tony walks over, still protecting his privates and sits down...Luca looks at him and shakes her head the whole time
Tony puts on his socks and the shirt...as Luca brings him his tux tie…"Do you know how to tie one of these?"
"I used, too."
Tony stands as Luca buttons the top button on his shirt and places the tie around his neck and then starts tying it.
She finishes and steps back..."it looks good"...she then hands him a vest, "this will keep your stomach in."
"I'm not fat...ok, maybe a little, but Ziva likes my love handles."
"More like love baggage."
"...and where are the customer satisfaction cards? I need to fill one out."
"Fine, love handles."
"Thank you."
Hector comes out with his pants. "Here, you go."
Tony puts on the pants..."wow, perfect length."
"...and the crotch?"
"Still fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Fine, go ahead, touch my crotch again..."
"No, who do you think I am?"
"Ok...well..." Tony starts to turns when Hector touches Tony's crotch again..
"No space...damn, I'm good, even looks great from the side."
Tony quickly gets down from the platform and puts on his shoes and takes his old clothes and rolls them up into a ball
"How much do I owe, Hector?"
"Usually, it's 9,000."
"9,000!?"
"...but since you are the son of the Mr. DiNozzo, it's free."
"Wow, it's like my dad's the godfather"...Tony pauses for about 10 seconds..."No, he can't be...is he?"
"You don't have time, Mr. DiNozzo. It's 11:48a.m."
"Oh crap" ...as Tony runs out..
Gibbs, McGee and Ducky stand next to the altar, which is outside...there are about 100 guests, most of them are on Ziva's side...the wedding is taking place at a country club, it is a beautiful sunny day.
"Have you heard from Tony, Jethro?"
"Yeah, about an hour ago, Ducky...he wanted to know where to get a tux."
"Oh lord, he still doesn't have a tuxedo?"
"Ziva is gonna kill him, Boss."
"No she won't, Timothy."
Gibbs calls Tony
"Where are you, DiNozzo?"
Tony in his car, speeding his way to the country club..."I'm almost there, Boss."
Tony honks his horn and yells "MOVE!"
"What the hell are you doing, Tony?"
"About 85 in a 30, Boss."
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long until you're here?"
"5 minutes, Boss."
"You got 3...go faster,"
"Got it, Boss."
click
"He's screwed."
Tony accelerates...
"Is Tony here yet?"
"Not yet."
"Hamor!"
"Don't worry, he's coming..."
"He better, I'm beyond horny."
"Oooh, ok." Abby slowly backs up, leaving the room and then walks up the aisle to Gibbs
"Where in the hell is Tony? Ziva is going to snap"
Gibbs shrugs...
Abby hurries back
"Well? Ziva asked
"He's...ummm, near?"
Tony drives to the intersection that goes around the golf course, there are 6 cars in line most of them wanting to turn left.
"Screw it!"...Tony turns right onto the golf course, driving down the fairway on the 7th hole.
Tony honks as he passes a golf cart
"Wow, his golf cart is sweet."
"I don't think that's a golf cart, Bob."
Tony zooms by...
Tony speeds up, hitting a bump and his car pops slightly up into the air.
"Heh...that was awesome."
Tony hits the breaks and comes to a stop right behind the gazebo the altar is on...Tony jumps out of his car, grabs his bag and walks to the altar.
"Did I make it?"
They all look back at the golf course and the tire marks Tony made...
"What?
Gibbs smacks Tony in the back of the head
"Hey, what was that for?"
"Right on time, DiNozzo."
"Huh?"
"The smack is for the bet I lost with Ducky."
Ducky shakes Tony's hand..."good show, lad."
"What was the bet?"
"A buck."
"You hit me for a buck, Boss?"
"Yeah, I would've shot you if it was more...want me to reconsider?"
"That's ok, Boss."
Tony, Gibbs, Ducky and McGee stand waiting...and the music starts...
Sienna starts to walk down the aisle...dropping red and black rose petals...
Tony goes to her, dropping to one knee and hugs her and she sits in the front row...then comes Ruby, she walks down the aisle and McGee meets her, they walk the rest of the way and they split off again...then Jenny and Ducky...and finally Gibbs and Abby...
3 brides maids and 3 groomsmen...Then Ziva appears with her mother, Ziva sees Tony and her face lights up. Tony extends his hands..."Come to me, baby."
Ziva's mother brings her down the aisle, but stops right before getting to Tony..
"Anthony, I know I've been hard on you, but you're a good man and I wish you all the best...you will need it."
"Was that a joke?" He chuckled
"No, Israeli women are tough, your life will never be the same again."
"Yes, I know...it can only get better."
She kisses Tony on the cheek..."You may now have my Bat, my Ben...mazel ubracha!"
She lifts Ziva vail and kisses her, then she hands Ziva over to Tony.
"Hi, baby."
"You weren't late."
Tony points to his car
She laughs, "Anything not to be late, huh?"
"Anything to be here with you."
The priest coughs..
"Oh, sorry, I got lost in her eyes."
"Wow, he's whipped"
Laughter from everyone
Ziva turns...and everyone goes silent
The priests goes on with the ceremony..."If there be anyone present that may present just and lawful cause why these two individuals may not be lawfully wed, let him speak now or forever hold their peace..."
Silence...
"You've both written your own vows?"
Ziva nods...Tony does not...
"Tony, you may go first..."
"Ummm..."
The priest trying to help Tony... "I..."
"I?"
"I...state your name.."
"I state your name? Oh...ok. Gotcha, father!
Tony clears his throat…
"I, Anthony, take Ziva to be my wedded wife."...He clears his throat again..."To have and to hold or to caress or even cuddle, from today, tomorrow and beyond, to never lie to you, never harm you, in any way. To make you so damn happy that all your girlfriends want to do me, but they can't, because I'm your man and you can rub it in their face. I promise to rub your feet, when your feet hurt, to rub your back, when your back hurts, to rub your butt, no matter what...to buy your feminine hygiene products and be proud of it, to put my clothes in the hamper, to put the cap back on the toothpaste, to mow the grass, to take out the trash, to put my dirty dishes in the sink, to put the toilet seat down, to get items off the top shelf, to open bottles and jars for you, to wash your hair and dry and bath you and spoil you rotten, to take care of you when your sick, to lose myself in your eyes, to pick up the kids after work, so you can relax with a bath, to doing the paperwork at work, so you don't have to, to kiss you for hours and hours, to apologize to you immediately when I upset you, to bring you flowers even when you're not mad at me. Damn it woman, to love you, forever and ever, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...and once again love you so damn hard that I cherish it until the day that I die, because that is the day I stop loving you...and oh yeah, to make sweet, passionate love to you that lasts for hours, days or even a long weekend making your girlfriends even more jealous. I pledge my life and love to you...I would die for you...I would kill you...I live for you. Ani ohevet otcha! …and oh…" Ziva stops him.
"I get it, Tony...you love me."
"...and you Ziva?"
"Ditto."
"Heh..."
"Do you have the rings?"
Gibbs hands the rings to the father
"Anthony, if you would."
Tony takes the ring...
"Repeat after me...with this ring...I be wed..."
"With this ring, I be wed..." He slides the ring on Ziva's finger...
Ziva takes the ring from the father..
"Ziva, repeat me after me...with this ring...I be wed..."
"With this ring, I be wed.." She slides it on Tony's finger...
"Anthony and Ziva have consented their love for one another in holy wedlock and have been witness before god and these witnesses and each other. By the power given to my by god and church, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. Anthony, you may kiss the bride."
Tony kisses Ziva
"For the first time, allow me to introduce...Mr. and Mrs. Anthony DiNozzo!"
Tony and Ziva walk down the aisle as people throw rice on them
Tony stops, "Probie, get my car." Tossing him the keys
Tony and Ziva get into a limo
"Do we really have to go to this reception, Tony?"
"Yeah, we do...it's where our friends will be...you can wait another hour...unless..."
"Unless what?"
"We could do it in here, on the way over there."
She laughs evilly
"But you can't mess up by tux, it cost 9,000 bucks."
"WHAT!?"
"Don't worry, my dad's in the mafia."
"Oh...ok...WHAT!?"
"Yep, that's how I reacted."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just learned it today and it exactly wasn't the first thing on my mind today."
He kisses her...her expression goes from mad to happy.
"Ok, take it off...all of it." she grins...as she rolls up the middle divider
"How is your team gonna get along without DiNozzo and Ziva for 2 weeks, Jethro?"
"A lot less deaths, I would think, Jen."
"I love weddings." Jen continues crying
"I usually hate them, but they're usually mine."
The limo starts to rock back and forth...
"That's our Tony." Gibbs and Jenny together
Now at the wedding reception...
"Have Tony and Ziva arrived yet?"
"I have yet to see them, Abigail."
"Man, I'm starving...I need to eat something, I think I've had too many red bulls."
"I'll find them, Abs."
"Their limo has arrive, Jethro."
"Where at, Jen?" ...Gibbs walks to her
"Side entrance."
Gibbs walks to the side entrance and goes to the car, it's still rocking..."Come on you, guys...hurry up, Abby's hungry."
"Hey, Boss..."
Gibbs turns around and sees Tony and Ziva walking towards them..."if you're there...who's in there?"
The window rolls down and McGee's face appears out the window.
"McGee!?...who's in there with you?"
"It's me."
"Oh...Ruby."
"Carry on."
"Probie, gettin' it done."
"DiNozzo!"
"Yeah, Boss?"
"You're a bad influence on him."
"I know...isn't it great?"
Gibbs walks over and smacks him, then Ziva on the back of head
"Heh...you smacked her, too, Boss."
"I had, too...she's a DiNozzo now."
Tony and Ziva now inside at the reception, Tony's dad walks up to them
"Thanks for everything, dad."
"That tux looks good on you, kid."
"You were right about Hector."
He laughs..."He's a good boy, though."
"You can see the boys, dad."
"Thank you, Anthony."...he turns to Ziva…"May I say, you are one stunning bride."...he kisses her on the cheek.
"He doesn't look like a godfather, Tony." she whispers.
Tony's dad laughs...and then pats Tony on his face a few times
Gibbs grabs a glass and hits it with a fork..."Attention...attention...attention!"
Gibbs clears his throat...
"Tony, you've been a good friend, a good teammate, a good leader while I was gone...you've kept sane with your constant humor and easy going lifestyle, but you've also made my life hard, but that's a good thing...life isn't easy, sometimes you have to work through bad things...it's called living. But now, you two are starting a new life together and I know you two will make yourself extremely happy. Much love to both you and Ziva. The two biggest sex crazed people in the world are now together...it's a match made in heaven...or hell, whichever comes first. May you have many more children, for which I will teach to build boats in my basement." ...he pauses.."...and oh yeah, if I ever catch you two having sex at work, I'm kickin' both your asses, you got it?"
"Got it, Boss!"
"Cheers!"
They all drink champagne
The waiters bring around the food.
Tony stands up..."One last thing." ...as he grabs his bag and pulls out the box with the bow on it.
"This is for you, Ziva."
Ziva takes it from Tony and opens it...inside is a black book.
"This is my little black book, every woman I've ever dated is in this book...but as of today, I no longer need it. Ziva, do with it, as you will."
Ziva stands..."I need a lighter, please."
She is handed a lighter and she lights the bottom of it and holds it in the air, then lays it on a metal champagne tray as DiNozzo pretends to blow on it.
Laughter fills the room, then applause.
"I'm yours and only yours, Ziva." He kisses her and she kisses him back
They roll the cake in.
Tony and Ziva walk over and cut the cake...Ziva takes a piece and puts it in Tony's mouth, he then licks the frosting off her fingers.
"Delicious...and the cake isn't bad either."
"Kiss me, you fool."
"Can't, eating cake."
She grabs and kissing him, taking the cake from his mouth into hers.
"Mmmmmm, it is good cake."
"You cake thief! Give that back." He kisses her.
"Haha, no cake left!"
Tony frowns..."There's something I want more than cake."
"Oh yeah?"
Tony picks her up..."Yeah, you..."
Tony leaves with her...Tony stops and turns around.
"Thanks for coming everyone." Ziva says with cake still on her face...
"SHALOM!!" Tony and Ziva together
