Tale of the Two Lovers

by Ulquiorra9000

Chapter 5

Breakfast at the Kuchiki manor was usually a polite and comfortable affair, but nowadays, things were a little... well...

"Today's edition of the Seireitei Bulletin was delivered rather early," Byakuya commented at the breakfast table, where Rukia joined her sister as a guest as per usual. He held up the morning paper and gently set it on the table, then took another bite. "Apparently, the young lady who delivers our paper was eager to share it. She didn't even request the usual tip."

"Maybe she just loves her work," Rukia joked, fully aware of what was going on here. She tried not to blush as she took a sip of tea.

Byakuya shrugged. "She acted like this yesterday, too, and the last few days before that. She almost seemed... bashful, somehow." He glanced at his wife. "Did you say something to her, dear?"

Hisana smiled craftily. "I certainly didn't."

"Hmmmmmm..." Byakuya glanced back and forth between his wife and sister-in-law, then picked up today's Seireitei Bulletin and leafed through it. "I wonder why... oh, for heaven's sake." He made a mortified face when he held out today's installment of Tale of the Two Lovers, the steamiest one yet. "Is this why?"

Hisana chuckled behind her hand. "You've figured it out, darling."

"But this story..." Byakuya looked incredulous as he scanned it with his gray eyes. His hands trembled. "Rukia, you really wrote all this?"

Rukia shifted in her seat. Maybe it was time to resume having breakfast at the Squad 13 barracks? "Y-yeah, I did. Look, it's just for fun. It's nothing to worry about -"

"Let me see it!" Hisana swiped the paper and quickly read today's Tale. She blushed and glanced at her husband. "Oh, this is a good one, Byakuya honey. This story has really taken off, you know." She tapped a finger on the paper. "Rukia's bragged about it for the last week and a half! Her writing has gotten so popular in the 13 Court Guard Squads, especially among the ladies."

Rukia shifted again and tried to avoid Byakuya's eyes. "Y-you don't mind, do you?"

Byakuya stiffened his back. "Of course not. It is not my place to interfere with your creative work."

Hisana scooted closer to her husband with a sly smile. "Do I hear a 'but' in your voice?"

"Well..." Byakuya cleared his throat. "Rukia, I think that your serial poem is giving... certain people... some outlandish ideas..." His voice trailed off as Hisana snuggled up next to him, grinning widely.

"Oh, no." Rukia covered her eyes. "Do we have to do this at the breakfast table? Get a room!"

"Honey, we're in the middle of breakfast," Byakuya implored his wife. "And I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on -"

"Oh, your paperwork can wait for ten minutes," Hisana teased him, and Rukia lowered her hands just in time to see her sister tracing her finger seductively down Byakuya's chest. Rukia put her hands back up with great haste.

"I really must get to work," Byakuya insisted. "I'm sorry. But there are great demands placed upon me. And I have a meeting with the Kuchiki elders today, and I have some business to attend to with the Shiba family, too -"

"Ohhhhh, is that a no, darling boy?" Hisana said with mock disappointment.

Byakuya swallowed. "I... I'm sorry, Hisana, but I have a busy schedule today."

"Not even five minutes?"

"I really must get to work..."

"You don't want me?" Hisana made sad-puppy eyes.

Byakuya blinked. "I always do. I love you. But you've become so frisky lately. It's not like you..."

"Hmph." Hisana glanced at her little sister. "You know, Rukia, how did we both end up with such stubborn fellows? Your Ichigo reminds me more of Byakuya every day, and vice versa. What a fun challenge it is." She smiled.

Rukia scrambled back, going red. "What the heck? Ichigo is nothing like my brother-in-law! Nothing! No offense," she added hastily.

Byakuya sighed through his nose. "This conversation really got away from me..."

"Sometimes, I wonder just what is going on in a man's mind," Hisana said smoothly, tapping Byakuya's chest. "Rukia, I wish you the best of luck down in the world of the living with Ichigo."

Rukia nearly tripped over herself getting to her feet. "That's it, I'm spending every morning at the Kurosaki Clinic!"

"Say hi to Ichigo for me!" Hisana cried as Rukia scrambled out of the dining room. "Tell him I send my love!"

Rukia was glad when she shut the door and got onto the Kuchiki front grounds. She sighed. Hisana used to be so much quieter and more reserved, like her husband... that was over now, wasn't it?

She opened up a Senkaimon Gate and hopped back to her favorite mortal town.

*o*o*o*o*

It was hard to look Ichigo straight in the eye during school today, especially when Rukia kept remembering Hisana's well-meaning but totally inappropriate words. What kind of big sister put a younger sibling on the spotlight like that? Rukia would deal with Ichigo her own way, at her own pace!

Ichigo looked over at her during math class, his chin resting on his hand. His eyes seemed to ask What's wrong?

Rukia shook her head, trying not to go pink. No, this was the wrong time, wrong place. Why couldn't things be simpler around here?

"Ugh, my big sister is killing me," Rukia complained after school as she and Momo walked across the high school's front grounds. The blossom trees were really coming along well this year, though none had dropped any petals yet. "Did I mention how she's a huge fan of Tale of the Two Lovers?"

Momo smiled. "Did I mention how everyone is a fan of your story?"

"Well, I've seen some people reading it in the Seireitei Bulletin..." Rukia shrugged as the girls stepped onto the sidewalk and down the street.

"Silly." Momo gently slapped Rukia's shoulder. "Your readership is huge! Don't you realize what a hit you have on your hands? This is an editor's pride and joy!" She stretched her arms over her head and sighed happily. "I've molded you into a master, Rukia. Feel proud!"

Rukia hung her head. "Right now, I feel like this huge, awkward spotlight is shining on me, and Hisana is the one operating it."

"Well, that's the public life of an author," Momo teased her. "You can't go back now; it's all out there, and the people are clamoring for more."

"You sound pretty sure of that," Rukia pointed out. "You must really have an ear to the ground."

"I don't need to." Momo held up a finger for emphasis. "Don't you read any of your fan mail?"

Rukia nearly tripped. "Wh-what? I'm getting mail?"

"Oh. Silly me," Momo said. "It's not being sent to the Squad 13 barracks; it all goes to Squad 9's newspaper office, to Lieutenant Hisagi. That's where all the mail goes for Bulletin stuff."

Rukia snorted. "I don't think I want to know what those letters say."

"Well... a few of them were pretty upset about the X-rated stuff in your story," Momo admitted. "But don't let the naysayers get you down, Rukia."

"How can I? I didn't read any of it."

"Oh. Right." Momo chuckled. "Really, though... come to Squad 9's office with me later. I'll show you just how popular you and Tale of the Two Lovers have become!"

"Sure, sure..."

Momo glanced around. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"If I'm going to do this, I'll do it right," Rukia declared. She smiled. "You know, the human world has a lot of reference material. More than you can imagine, Momo."

Momo gasped, her eyes wide. "I think I've heard rumors about this..."

Rukia nodded. "That's right. First stop - here."

Both girls arrived at the front doors of a manga store.

Momo scratched her head. "What is this place?"

"Come with me, and find out." Rukia took Momo's hand and dragged her inside, to a world of paperback glory and bedazzlement. Already, high school and college-age young men and women were eyes-deep into different volumes of manga, all kinds of genres. Quiet pop music played on ceiling-mounted speakers, and there was a lot of other stuff, too. Stuff even Rukia didn't understand.

"Whoa..." Momo's eyes were wide as she took in the place. "I've never... I mean... what is that?" She pointed at a rack of colorful volumes.

Rukia picked up volume 1 of some comic series, looking it over. She smiled. "This is what's called Shojo manga. It's all kinds of drama, romance, and adventure stories for girls. See?" She handed over the volume, and Momo gawked at its contents.

"It's so... flowery!" Momo traced her finger down a page. "I've never seen an art style like this. Is this how humans tell romance stories?"

"Yeah," Rukia said, nodding. "But what I'm wondering is this: what genre am I? I mean, Tale of the Two Lovers comes from the Soul Society. I think it shares some elements with Shojo, but not enough."

Momo looked up from the flowery manga. "What do you mean?"

Rukia led Momo through the shop and to a different rack of paperback manga. She took down a book and flipped through it. "Ichigo and Keigo taught me a lot about these things... Momo, this is what's called Josei manga, meant for older women, and it's more explicit than Shojo, which is for younger girls. Look."

"Ohhhhh." Momo browsed the volume with keen interest. "Rukia, this is fascinating! The art style... the narrative... it's so compelling." She looked up. "I think that Tale of the Two Lovers may share some artistic elements with this, aside from being epic poetry."

Rukia nodded. "Yeah. But there's one more thing..."

She put back the Josei volume and, starting to blush a little, brought Momo to a corner of the shop, where both girls found -

"Hentai? What is... oh my..." Momo gasped, hands over her mouth as she beheld the hentai genre.

Rukia made an embarassed giggle. "I just wanted to see your reaction. I don't think the Tale has much in common with hentai, but who knows? I might get an idea or two, if I'm desperate for a chapter idea."

"B-but this is so..." With a trembling hand, Momo took down a volume and peeked through it. She went red. "What is that octopus doing to that girl in the swimsuit?!"

"That's what I want to know, Momo. Can I see that?"

Momo and Rukia both jumped when Rangiku arrived in her own gigai, a wide grin on her face. And as usual, she had the top three buttons of her high school uniform undone, drawing more than a little attention.

"L-Lieutenant Matsumoto?" Momo yelped. "I didn't realize you were in here."

"I come here every day," Rangiku said casually, tossing her hair. "Especially for the hentai! Now hand it over! I wanna buy that."

Momo hastily handed over the volume she was holding. "All yours. I-I wasn't interested anyway."

"No?" Rangiku stroked the volume's cover. "You seemed pretty interested to me."

"Was not!" Momo stamped a foot. "It's not even realistic! This is real life, not some... smutty manga!" She spread her arms wide.

Rukia lowered Momo's arms. "Relax, Lieutenant. I was just having some fun. But really, I think you might enjoy Shojo or Josei. And so will I."

Momo cleared her throat and lifted her chin. "For artistic research, I will help you, Rukia, as your editor and patron of Tale of the Two Lovers. And you..." She pointed at Rangiku. "You're just here for the tentacle drawings, aren't you?"

"Not just that," Rangiku said. "But yeah, mostly that. Anyway..." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder. "I gotta pay for this. Then I wanna share an idea with you, Rukia."

So, after Rangiku bought her hentai manga and carried it out the shop in a strategically opaque bag, she led Rukia and Momo further downtown.

"How often do you girls enjoy Karakura Town's nightlife?" Rangiku asked.

"Nightlife?" Momo repeated blankly.

Rangiku made an impatient noise. "Y'know, dancing the night away, clubbing, bar hopping, cool restaurants, live shows, stuff like that!" She waved a finger, smiling. "You're so predictable, Momo. You just stay at Squad 5's barracks every night, doodling or daydreaming about Toshiro -"

"I do not!" Momo snapped, going red.

Rangiku's smile came back into place. "My point is, visiting the world of the living has become more popular ever since the fall of the Wandenreich. Curiosity, you know." She jiggled her shopping bag. "And not just for cool manga... but the life humans live! Rukia, you've been here before... why not take Ichigo out on the town? Live it up a little?"

Rukia blinked. "What the... are you setting me up on a date?"

"I sure am. I think you kids need a little push." Rangiku winked and made the "OK" sign with her hand. "Honestly, Rukia, I've read and re-read every sweet word of Tale of the Two Lovers, and I know just what kind of desire burns in you. Ichigo means everything to you, doesn't he?"

"W-well, yeah." Rukia fidgeted shyly in place, hands clasped behind her back.

"And you're engaged to him."

"Yeah." Rukia felt her heart racing.

"Look, Byakuya and Renji don't know what a modern girl wants... but I do! Take him out and have a hot date night. Get frisky!" Rangiku beamed widely.

Rukia scowled. "You're even worse than my sister..."

"You should do it," Momo added, rounding on Rukia. "Think about what new material this would inspire for Tale of the Two Lovers! You could reach the big climax of the story and dazzle your readers!"

"That's not the only climax Rukia and Ichigo might get," Rangiku added with another wink.

Rukia threw her hands up in the air. "What I wouldn't give for one sane friend!"

"Sorry, sorry." Rangiku patted Rukia's shoulder. "But really... your daily poem can only take you so far, Rukia. Live like that rabbit princess!"

"And enjoy your prince's sword," Momo added with a teasing smile.

Rukia went a shade redder. "Now I'm sure I'm living in a hentai manga."

Rangiku shook her head. "If your life were a story, Rukia, it'd be somewhere between Shojo and Josei with a bit of Shonen, too."

"Huh?" Rukia put her hands on her hips. "Do I like look a Shonen heroine? Have I ever been that?"

Momo waved a hand. "Let's not worry about it. After all, this is real life, inspired by a story that's inspired by a real life that's almost like a fairy tale."

Rukia sighed. "We're going in circles."

"In that case," Rangiku said, poking a finger into Rukia's belly, "it's time for another chapter of your life! In the next chapter, you'll have a hot date and realize your deepest, steamiest desires... and we'll all be happy when we read about it in Tale of the Two Lovers!"

"That's not a chapter I'll let you read," Rukia muttered.

"Oh, I'll live it," Rangiku told her. "Momo and I can be your dating coaches. You're a bit rusty at this, Rukia. You need help with an outfit, learning some new sexy talk, thinking up steamy date ideas..."

"Why can't Ichigo take care of that?" Rukia demanded.

"Because he's a bigger prude than Captain Kuchiki, and that's saying a lot," Momo said with a giggle. "Now, enough talk! Meet us tomorrow after school, Rukia, and we'll get you ready."

There was no helping it, was there? "Okay, okay," Rukia admitted. "See you both tomorrow." She walked all the way back to the Kurosaki Clinic, where she found Ichigo seated in front of the TV, deep into English homework.

"There you are, Rukia," Ichigo said gratefully. "Hey, I'm stuck on this last bit. Can you understand it?"

Rukia glanced at the homework. "Sorry. It's gibberish to me."

Ichigo scowled. "You didn't even try, midget!"

Rukia bopped Ichigo on the head with her fist. "Can the attitude. I'm tired. And tomorrow is gonna be busy, too..."

"Oh, yeah?" Ichigo looked curious. "What's going on tomorrow? Something I should know?"

Rukia couldn't help but smile at Ichigo's inquisitive look. "You'll find out soon. I'll be in the bath."

She went upstairs, locked herself in Ichigo's room, and discarded her school uniform. Hmmmmm... on an impulse, she examined herself in the mirror in her white undies, a hand on her hips. What was she in for tomorrow, anyway?

This had better be good!