Disclaimer: Gintama is not mine. Belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

Note: Finally, Okita Sougo. Ahahahahaha. That didn't take long at all..

Chapter 5.

Sougo couldn't stop thinking about the new arrivals, or a single arrival in the form of a red haired girl to be more precise. It was the talk of the town that the alien monster hunter family had come to Japan. In Sougo's mind, these conversations were translated to 'China, china, china'.

The next day, he set out briskly towards 'their' park, where they spent what felt like their past lives fighting regularly. He caught sight of a distinctive red coloured head stooped low behind the park bench and felt his heart leap. He took out his bazooka and aimed. Something felt a bit off, but he shrugged it off as over excitement and fired anyway. If she was still the rival he knew, she wouldn't let herself get beaten by something like that, so Sougo unsheathed his katana, ready to start the real fight. As he sped towards his target though, he noticed the instant before the rocketing missile hit, a hair-like antenna that he knew his rival didn't have.

Kamui was eager, his dear baby sister had told him that she bought him a present and placed it in the park as a surprise. She said it with such a gleeful expression and knowing look in her eyes too, as if psshhht like a present from her would make him excited. Nevertheless, he made his way quickly to the park, his antenna twitching happily the whole way, and found the wrapped up box. Crouching down, he quickly unwrapped his present, unable to hide the enthusiastic look on his face. He was a bit puzzled when there was another wrapping underneath it, but set to work again anyway. That's when he heard the loud roaring sound coming from behind him. He turned a split second before a gigantic missile hit him where he was crouching, sending him flying through the air. Just as he landed, pure instinct made him reach for his umbrella and deflect a deadly attack from a crazy blonde man in black with his katana. 'Wait, I've seen this guy before.'

Caught completely off guard, Kamui exclaimed loudly "What?!" before multiple things happened at once.

"Tch." Sougo's attention was already diverted, he twisted his head this way and that, knowing he had fallen for a trap.

A wild woman swung up from behind them in the trees and flipped in the air laughing maniacally.

"Wahahahahahah, you totally fell for it!" By the time both men looked up, the barrel of her umbrella was pointed straight at their position and a cascade of heavy bullets rained down upon them.

Smoke and uprooted soil surrounded the vicinity, causing zero visibility. Sougo relied on his instincts alone to veer right and parry a lethal strike from the aforementioned wild woman. The first sight of her after close to 2 yrs and he could honestly say she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her form just emerging out of the dust clouds was already completely covered in dirt, the baggy clothes she wore hid any form of figure whatsoever, her face was plastered with a feral grin and maniacal eyes and her hair was swinging crazily. No other woman could possibly compare. This dance he had missed so much, now came crashing (literally) onto his body again, this time more brutal, more quick and both with more skill.

Meanwhile, Kamui was left crumpled by the side, his clothes tattered and his ego bruised. He had been tricked! And now they were completely ignoring him! Another thing was also irking him as he watched the two fight. He's never seen his sister look so happy fighting with someone before, and the way the man was staring at Kagura while fighting... A dark black hole was starting to fill up inside Kamui. He had thought her reunion with her pseudo family was bad, the old guy with white hair and the perverse glasses getting all touchy and huggy with his sister, but this guy! This guy was even worse!

Then and there, he decided that this man will die.

Kagura thought for sure this would be an easy victory and was pleasantly surprised when she found the sadist match her blow for blow. He certainly hadn't stayed idle here on Earth either. Taking care of the mess after the great universal war seems to have been good training grounds to grow stronger. When their weapons clashed, she could feel the strength in his body from the force and every time his swift swing brought a near-fatal wound close to her neck, a chill of attraction would run down Kagura's spine. They were both in their own little world, unknowingly causing absolute destruction to the surrounding area. That's why she was caught off guard when a flash of red and black intruded in on their fight, her previous opponent replaced by her baka-aniki.

"Baka aniki! Stay out of this!"

"No fair! I wanted to fight samurai too. And I have to kill this guy." Kamui's eye twitched.

"Tsk." Kagura charged. The fight between the yato siblings was a lot more animalistic and rough as if two wild beasts were trapped in a fighting pen.

Now Okita felt left out. "Hey, Oi~~~~" he called with a deadpan expression, then he shrugged and decided to join the fray.

And that's how Hijikata found them a few minutes later after receiving multiple distress calls about terrorists .

Everything in the park was completely decimated, Hijikata could feel the cancer in his lungs spread a little more in that moment. His men had finished setting up the mega-speakers behind him as he had ordered them to do, he calmly squeezed the ear plugs into his ears, picked up the mega-mega-megaphone and sucked in his breath.

"OIIIIIIIIIIII, STOP THIS YOU IDIOTSS!" The screeching, deafening, ear-splitting noise immediately had the three individuals rolling on the ground.

Hijikata smirked and basked in his one second of triumph, until three deadly projectiles were found zooming toward his head. All his life's experience in dodging one homicidal maniac helped him to escape the blow by the skin of his teeth. Now with three homicidal maniacs after his life, he knew his only option was to run, run like umm, umm like as if there were three homicidal maniacs after him.

"Oi, what are we going to do about this, Kondou-san." A while later, Hijikata sat in a meeting room with the commander of Shinsengumi, wrapped head to toe in bandages. "The cost of damages, as well as reimbursement to people and relocation of homes is estimated to cost well over a million. We can't let Sougo get away with it this time, not to mention those two china brats. Oiiii are you listening."

Unfortunately for Hijikata, Kondou was not, he was too busy crying. "Tosshiii, our little boy is all grown up! He's got his love back! Ohhh I'm such a proud father."