DISCLAIMER: Same as before. I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of the characters.
AUTHOR: Thanks for all wonderful the reviews. Love ya all!
Chapter 5: "Don't worry, I didn't choose the name."
Jess sat by the window at the rear end corner of Luke's diner with his notepad laid open in front of him. It was after lunch. The diner was quiet again after the rush. Only a few customers lingered, enough to keep Luke occupied but too few to require Jess' assistance. He took the opportunity to get some very much needed work done on his book.
Or that had been the plan...
Jess sighed and put down the pen. He had been sitting here for nearly an hour and still he had not been able to put down a single word. It was like they got stuck somewhere between his head and his hand. The more he tried to force it through, the less came out. Writer's block. Jess sniffed at the word. He had always believed the phenomenon to be something silly author's blamed when they had put themselves in a corner their imagination couldn't stretch far enough for to get them out of it. Never had he thought it was an actual condition.
There was nothing wrong with his own imagination. He had ideas, more ideas than he could possibly ever write about, but to get them down on paper... It was simply impossible. He had been deprived the English language.
Jess glanced at his companion at the table, who wailed quietly in frustration. Maybe that was to be a little bit too dramatic. He knew why he couldn't concentrate. Something was up with Clara. He had noticed it already this morning when he had changed her diaper. The content had been loose and faul smelling in a way it hadn't been before. He had hoped it was only something temporary, like a reaction to the change of scenery - for a five months old girl it was a big happening to visit a diner - but her lack of appetite when he tried to feed her earlier told him this wasn't going away that easily.
He had taken a walk with her in the stroller before, wishing more than hoping a good nap would set her straight, but Clara refused to fall to sleep. Now she sat in the infant car seat placed on the table next to him and snuggled with her plush toy.
Jess sighed and placed a hand on her belly. She felt bloated, which was strange since she had no problems filling her diaper.
"Bad day today huh, honey?" he spoke softly.
Clara dropped her toy and took hold of his index finger instead. With no further ado she started to suck on it. Jess let her do it. Back in Philly, whenever Clara had trouble sleeping, being close to him always seemed to do the trick. He smiled when Clara nibbled on his fingertip. He could feel the beginning of a tooth among the gooey flesh.
The door to the diner opened and Jess looked up in time to see it close behind a familiar figure. Dean. For a split second Jess thought about hiding underneath the table to avoid a confrontation, but there was no way he could get Clara down there with him too without anyone noticing it so he gave up that idea. Not that it would have mattered anyway. Dean had already spotted him.
"Jess?" The tall young man, who once had been his enemy, said in disbelief.
Jess had no other choice but to acknowledge the acquaintance.
"Dean."
"You're back."
The old Jess inside him wanted to snarl. Dean made it sound like Jess was something unpleasant the cat had dragged in. Which, considering their quarells in the past, wasn't all that strange. Jess had stolen Rory from Dean after all so some hostility was to expect.
"Looks that way, doesn't it?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. Old habit. The harshness made Dean stand quiet for a moment, not knowning what to say next. Jess glanced over to the kitchen. Where was Luke when you needed him?
"What's her name?" Dean said and made a gesture towards Clara. To ask Jess if he was the father was pointless. Jess knew Clara had inherited most of his features.
"Clara." Jess saw the recongnistion hit Dean's face and he snickered. "Don't worry, I didn't choose the name. She is named after her great grand mother."
"Oh."
By now everyone in the diner were looking at them. Jess assumed his fights with Dean over Rory had become sort of a legend in this town, where nothing interesting ever happened. They were probably all wondering if there was going to be a fight now. The old Jess may have granted them their wish, but this new Jess offered his enemy a seat by the table. To his surprise, Dean accepted.
Jess ransacked his brain for something to say. He remembered hearing something about Dean being married last time he was in town.
"How's the wife?"
"Good, good. She is good."
Jess had to surprise a roll with his eyes. Dean had certainly not grown more fond words since last time they met ...
"We recently bought a new house. A larger one." ... but then again...
"Ah, expecting addition to the family?"
"If Lindsay gets her way, yes."
Jess couldn't help to notice the reluctant tone in Dean's voice. Perhaps everything wasn't perfect in paradise. Jess hoped for Lindsay's sake Dean wasn't pine for Rory still.
Clara was looking at both with curious eyes. If she had been older and in better control of her facial expressions, Jess thought she would have been arching her eyebrows at them in bewildering. Jess wouldn't have blame her if she did. Him and Dean was an odd pair to see sitting at the same table.
"How long have you been back in Stars Hollow?" Dean wondered.
"Not long at all." Jess reached for Clara's plush toy. He couldn't have an adult conversation with her sucking on his fingers. "We arrived last night. Had some work to finish in Philly before I could go here."
"Clara's mother, is she here too?"
"No." Jess heard how harsh it sounded and added: "It's just me and Clara. We're only staying for the weekend."
Jess prayed him and Clara would only stay over the weekend. That was as much time he could afford staying away from work. If only Clara wasn't coming down with something. He refused having a sick baby in the car on the drive back to Philly. It was a long drive enough as it was.
Out of nowhere, Luke showed up at their table and asked if they wanted anything. Jess asked for a cup of tea with two spoons of sugar in it - a bad habit he had Stella to blame for - and a chocolate chip muffin. Dean ordered two burgers to go. He needed to get back to the construction site, he said. Jess never asked him where that might be. When Luke had disappered into the kitchen again, Dean turned to Jess.
"Have you talked to Rory lately?"
Jess shook his head.
"No, I can't say I have."
This seemed to please Dean. Jess could hear his old self grit his teeth. The other man must think Jess had burned his bridges with Rory the way he had dumped her. Maybe he had. Jess didn't know. Rory had been pretty pissed at him last time they spoke and with all rights, he had treated her like shit, but it was a long time ago now. A lot had happened since then. Clara had happened for one.
A part of Jess had always wondered what would have happened if he had stayed to hear her response to his 'I love you'. Would she had told him to go to hell or would she have thrown herself in his arms?
"How's she doing at Yale?"
"Good. She likes it there. Straight A's in every course."
Jess smile never reached his eyes. Dean seemed a little too happy about Jess having no contact with Rory. It wasn't like the man had a chance with her anyway, not while he was married. Jess doubted Dean was the adventurous man who would give up his marriage without any guarantees he would end up with the girl he wanted instead. No, guys like Dean lived quiet lives married to the second best girl, admiring the girl he really wanted to marry from afar. Jess was certain Dean would never let himself do anything else but dream of a life with Rory as long as he was certain Jess had even less chance of getting her.
Dean eagerly told Jess everything he knew about Rory's life at Yale just to rub it in. Jess listened, but turned a part of his attention back to Clara to remind himself who he had become. Clara seemed to be wanting to roll her eyes at Dean when he never finished. She would be really good at it when she grew up, Jess was sure. She had it from her mother.
"Here are you burgers, Dean."
Jess shot Luke a thankful look when the man came over with Dean's burgers. It was the only thing that could put a stop to the endless flood of words coming out of Dean's mouth. Interesting, consider the many times Jess had made sour remarks to Dean being slow-witted.
Dean took the bag from Luke and rose from his seat.
"I better get going." It looked like he was about to say 'good to see you, Jess', but not even Dean could say that and make it sound like he really meant it. He left the shop with only a nod in Jess' direction. When he was gone Luke turned to Jess with an astonished face.
"Wow, I've never heard him talk that much since he and his pals stumbled in here blind drunk at his bachelor party." Luke shook his head. "He went on and on about Rory. What did he talk about this time?"
"Rory," Jess said plainly and zipped on his tea.
Luke gave up a whistle.
"That boy needs to get his head straight."
Jess didn't reply and Luke was shortly after called to another table.
For a long time Jess sat there looking at the spot where Dean had disappeared around a corner, deep in thoughts. So Dean was still hooked on Rory. For some reason that didn't surprise him. Rory was a special girl. Jess flipped a few pages in his notepad, to the page where he had written the dedication to his book. There stood:
To Rory, for believing in me.
Jess closed the notepad. So Dean wasn't over Rory, question was: was Jess?
