DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gilmore Girls.
AUTHOR: Celebrating the last week at my old job by posting a double chapter update. Please read and review!
Chapter 6: "Spill the beans, Gilmore!"
Rory paced restlessly back and forth through the rooms of the apartment she rented with Paris. She had done so for the last hour and a half. Her mind wouldn't set. She had tried to study, but been forced to give it up when her thoughts constantly drifted away from the text she was reading. The books still laid open on the kitchen table where she had left them.
Jess has a daughter...
Her mother's words echoed in her head. Despite her best efforts to stop thinking about them she couldn't get them out of her head. Jess was a father, according to her mother, to a baby girl named Clara. Rory couldn't help but to see the irony in it. Of all the names in the world he could have given his daughter, he gave her Dean's sister's name. Now they'd be connected forever.
Rory sighed and came to halt by the window in the living room. Jess was back in Stars Hollow. A part of her had always known that he would, the other had hoped. But it wasn't for her he had returned. Surely he must know she wasn't going to be there. He knew she went to Yale. No, Jess had returned to see Luke, of that she was sure but it was also the only thing she was sure of.
He has a daughter.
It felt so unreal. Jess, a father? Last time she saw him he could barely take care of himself. He'd been angry, hurt and resentful. Snapping at everyone and everything. Something in her mother's voice when she spoke about him had told Rory that wasn't the case anymore. If Jess had been his old self, Lorelai wouldn't have hesitated to call him jerk or gone off about how unfairly he treated Luke. But her mother hadn't said any of those things. In fact she hadn't told Rory much at all except for him being back in town with a baby. Rory wondered if that meant something.
Sighing troubled, Rory walked away from the window. She was so glad Paris hadn't come home yet to see her in this state. She wasn't sure if she could handle Paris' dry remarks right now. Truth be told, she was embarrassed for how much the mentioning of Jess still affected her. Their relationship had ended more than two years ago for crying out loud! She should be over this by now. She had moved on, she was dating Logan now. She didn't need Jess.
And yet...
She wasn't going to deny Jess was special to her. Despite their ups and downs, Jess had made her feel alive. That she could do everything she'd ever wanted if only she set her mind to it. He had challenged her in a way Dean never had been able to. Jess had shared her passion for the written word. They could discuss a book for hours, analyzing every sentence in search of hidden meanings.
Debate whether or not an author deserved the praise. Jess had understood her in a way no one else ever had. They were kindred spirits of sorts.
Fiddling on the hem of her shirt, Rory admitted to herself a part of her had never stopped missing Jess. An unwelcome memory surfaced her mind and made a troubled frown appear on her forehead. Their last conversation had been heated to say the least. She had been furious at him for daring to show his face in Stars Hollow again after everything he had put her through, and even more so for thinking he could still dictate their relationship. She had called him out. When he had asked her if they could talk, she had confronted him. Telling him she was very curious of what he could possible have to say to her after everything that had happened. His reply had not been at all what she had expected.
I love you.
How those words had tormented her ever since! The look on his face had been so haunted, so pained, that she couldn't doubt the sincerity of it. There wasn't a day gone passed that she hadn't cursed herself for not being able to respond to those words. She had been in shock. Even after he had returned to his car and driven out of Stars Hollow, she had been standing there on the sidewalk unable to move or speak.
He had loved her back then and now he had returned with a baby. Rory was too well educated to be clueless of how that could have happened. At some point during these two years he had been gone, he had been with another girl and knocked her up. Did that mean he was over her?
A sudden slam of the door to the apartment put an abrupt end to her thoughts. Paris was home.
Rory quickly ruched to take her seat by the books on the kitchen table, trying to look as if she had been studying when Paris stormed into the room. Evidently furious.
"I can't believe it," the blonde snarled. "Do you know what Ms Clearwater called me today? Insufferable, like this was some kind of modern version of Pride and Prejudice and I was Mr Collins at the Netherfield ball. It's a huge, huge insult. Everyone knows I'm obnoxious!"
Paris threw her purse onto the coffee table with a loud 'thud'.
"I tell you, Gilmore. One of these day I'm going to replace her conditioner with bleach and then we'll see how easily she can ignore my existence."
"What has she done now?"
Ms Clearwater was on of Paris' teacher. They hadn't been many weeks at Yale before Paris managed to get a death-enemy in Ms Clearwater, or at least that was what Paris claimed.
"She told me my essay on 'medical achievements throughout the early years of the Roman empire' was too long and too detailed. She said I should put more emphasis on how the discoveries improved the life of the common people instead of how the scientists came to the conclusions. Like anyone cares about the common people. They are called common because they lack the wits and ambitions to be extraordinary! I told Ms Clearwater that and kindly explained to her how her irrational passion for the lazy and the stupid ones is reduces Yale's credibility. That's when she called me insufferable!"
"How rude", Rory mumbled in lack of anything else to say. "She should know better."
"I know right!" Paris started pacing the same way Rory had been pace just a moment ago. "I should tell the board that we need to be more considerate whom we are given permission to teach here. There should be at least three recommendations from other university, two from an Ivy League school. Yale's reputation is at stake which means my reputation is at stake. What if someone starts to think I'm second best?"
As Paris continued to rant on about Ms Clearwater's unfair comment, Rory felt her mind slowly drift back to the previous subject of her dwelling. They had gone through the same procedure so many times before during these two years they had been at Yale that Rory knew that all that was required of her was to every now and then say some like 'I agree' or 'you're right' or 'they should know better' to keep Paris going. Eventually Paris would figure out what to do about her problem and set of to do it.
If Jess was back in Stars Hollow with his daughter, did that mean he had brought the mother with him too? Lorelai hadn't said anything about another girl being with him. There was a lot Lorelai hadn't told her. For once in her life Rory cursed her mother for not telling her more than she needed to know. If Lorelai had seen Jess, she had probably talked to him or to Luke who had spoken with Jess. Knowing her mother, Lorelai couldn't possible have contained her curiosity to not ask questions. She knew more than she had told Rory.
The kitchen suddenly went deadly quiet and Rory realized she had missed her que to say something to Paris. Now the blonde was looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"What's up you?" Paris asked her bluntly. "You looked like you got the world laying on you shoulders. Is it Logan? If it is I can call his Porsche dealer and tell him to sell the jerk last year's model."
"It's not Logan", Rory groaned and rose from her chair.
"Then what?" Paris gave her the prying eye which Rory never had been able to resist. "Spill the beans, Gilmore. I don't have all night. I need to figure out a way to make Ms Clearwater wish she had never called me such a namby-pamby word and the list of suggestion is long. It's gonna take me all evening to decide which horror to I should release on her."
Rory sighed. Whom was she trying to fool? There was no way she could go on without talking with anyone about this. If her mother insisted on not telling her everything then... well, she might as well confide in Paris.
"It's Jess."
"Jess? Jess who?"
"You know Jess."
"No, I don't know Jess. Oh! Is it the guy with crazy eye whom you never know which eyes you're supposed to look at? I knew he had a lame name. Jess... Like what, is he always saying 'yes'? to everything"
"No, Paris, his name is Eugene." Rory stomped her foot impatiently. "I'm talking about Jess, whom I dated when we went to Chilton."
Paris thought for a second.
"The I-have-read-Jane-Austen guy?"
"Yes, him!" Rory sighed of relief. "He is back."
"Back where?"
"In Stars Hollow."
"Okay? What's that got to do with us?"
Rory bit her lip. How was she going to explain this to Paris? She motioned to Paris to sit down at the table. When they were both seated Rory started to explain the only way she knew how - fast.
"He has a baby. A baby girl called Clara, which actually is kind of strange considering Dean's sister is called Clara and you know how much they hated each other. Anyway, he is back in Stars Hollow with this baby and I..." Rory trailed off. And her what...?
Paris seemed to wonder the same.
"So is he is back with a baby. Other than a Bukowski fan shouldn't be allowed to breed I don't see how this is a problem."
Rory didn't expected her to either. She hadn't told anyone about the conversation she had with Jess last time he was around, not even her mother. She could feel old wounds burst open.
"I didn't know that," said Paris once Rory was done telling her. "And now he is back. How do you know that?"
"Mom called this morning. She must have seen him or talked to Luke, I guess."
Paris was quiet for awhile, then she said.
"You want to go back there and see him, don't you? Despite everything he did to you, you still love him."
It was as if someone had punched the air out of Rory's lungs. Paris made it sound so easy.
"I don't know, maybe." Rory buried her face in the palms on her hands. "Yes!"
"Yes, what? You want to see him or you love him."
"The first," Rory let down her hands again. "Maybe both. I don't know. It's just..." This was the difficult part. "It doesn't feel like everything is resolved between us. I keep asking myself 'what if'. What if I had told him to stay? What if I had gone with him? It feels like a part of me is still with him and I need to get it back."
Across the table Paris blinked once before speaking.
"The troubles of the heart can bring even the greatest competitor to her knees. I'm glad to have known you, Gilmore. I've enjoyed our quarrels and it is with sad heart I declare I've won. You were one of the few here at Yale who could match my intelligence."
Rory frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"For being so smart you can be utterly stupid, but what can you expect from a girl who comes from a village which name starts with the most overrated luminous formation in history." Paris shook her head. "Do I need to spell it out for you, Gilmore? Go and see him. You're obviously not done with him and you could do a lot worse than Bukowski. Porsche-boy might be sad, but hey, when they release next year's model he'll get over it. That's what rich people do. Go to Stars Hollow and sort it out. Gosh, I need to wash my mouth with soap. I sound like Dr Phil!"
Before Rory could say anything, Paris had stood up from her chair and marched out of the room. Rory stared at a spot in space in front of her. Was she really going to go back to Stars Hollow to Jess?
