DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gilmore Girls

AUTHOR: Gah! It's so annoying my spell check program marks 'Lorelai' as misspelled! There's like a billion 'Lorelai''s in this chapter! Read & review. I love to hear your thoughts.


Chapter 7: "You planned this, didn't you?"

Lorelai rushed through the rain with her purse above her head for protection against the heavy drops. A curse word escaped her lips when she reached her car only to fail to open it on the first try.

"Stupid car!" she growled and yanked the key with force. The door opened and Lorelai slid in on the driver's seat. Firing up the engine, Lorelai left the Dragonfly Inn with a spray of pebbles behind her.

It really was pouring outside. The raindrops splashed hard against the wind shield, forcing Lorelai to slow down to be able to see the road ahead at all. Luke had called her not five minutes ago, sounding very distressed. Clara was sick. Lorelai had heard the poor girl's cries in the background, as well as Jess' attempts to soothe her. Luke had begged Lorelai to let his nephew with daughter stay at the inn. If Clara was coming down with something, the whole diner could be at risk.

Knowing very well the economical troubles Luke had suffered lately with the diner, and how desperate he must be for to even making this call (turning Jess away was the last thing he wanted), Lorelai had agreed to help out without even hesitating. But she wasn't having them at the inn. If Clara was coming down with something, she didn't want them anywhere near the Dragonfly. So instead she had offered them the comfort of her own home.

They were already waiting for her when she reached her destination. Luke was pacing restlessly up and down the lawn, looking like a drowned cat in the rain, while Jess stood well protected from the wetness on the porch with Clara tightly clutched to his chest. Even before Lorelai opened the car door she knew the girl was crying. She could tell by the angry red shade on the girl's face.

"I'm sorry, I came as fast as I could," she told them as she opened the door. "Man, it's pouring! I could barely see the road. How is she?"

"She needs changing," Jess told and made way for her to the door. "Thank you so much for having us. Where can I put her down?"

"The bathroom downstairs. There's a cabinet you can use as changing table. I think there's a clean towel in it if you need to clean her."

Jess nodded and hurried inside as soon as Lorelai had unlocked the door for him. Lorelai was prevented from doing the same by Luke blocking her way.

"This is insane. We have to take her to a hospital. She should have nurses hanging over her, gadgets and tubes attached to her body. Not changing diaper on a cabinet!"

"Hey!" Lorelai said offended. "It's a nice cabinet."

Luke pretended he didn't hear her.

"She's been crying all afternoon. What if she has the stomach flu? I had the stomach flu once, it had me down for days and I was a grown man. She's so tiny."

"Wow, Luke, it sounds like you're really growing into the grand pa role," Lorelai teased.

"I am not grand pa!" Luke growled. "You should take this more seriously. You're a woman. You've had one of these before. You should get wind up and crazy. What if Clara is sick? What if she is hurt? We should go to the hospital and..."

"Luke, calm down," Lorelai cut off. "If Clara doesn't have a fever than it's probably nothing to worry about. It might be something she ate or licked on. You don't want to know all the disgusting things babies lick on. Why don't you go back to the diner and close up for the night. Jess and I will handle this. I'll call you if there is any change." She glanced at his soaked clothes. "You should probably change."

Luke made her swear twice on the first cup of coffee in the morning to do that before he agreed to head back to the diner. Once he was gone, Lorelai headed inside to see where Jess had gone to. She found him in the bathroom in the midst of changing Clara's diaper on the counter. The smell of baby poop hung thick in cramped space.

"How is she?" she asked him.

Jess shook his head and put the used diaper aside.

"Something is wrong with her, but I don't know what. She's been crying on and off all day."

"Does she have a fever?"

"No." Jess frowned. "She feels bloated, but as you can see she's not constipated."

"Have you burped her?"

"Yes, until she puked on me."

Lorelai looked at the little girl. She wasn't crying at the moment, Lorelai seemed to be far too interesting to look at to be crying in the presence of. Deciding that if the girl could keep herself from crying to stare at her, whatever it was bugging the baby tummy couldn't be that bad. Lorelai snorted.

"I wouldn't be surprised if being around Luke has made her belly turn as sour as sour-cream."

Jess chuckled.

"Is he still same?"

"Could he possibly change?"

They shared a smile before Jess had to turn his attention to Clara again.

"Thanks for having us. I don't know where we would have gone otherwise. Luke insisted upon us staying, but I don't want risk the diner so..." Jess never finished the sentence.

Lorelai was stunned. Jess had persuaded Luke to call her. On his last visit to Stars Hollow, Lorelai had confronted him on the street for the mean things he had said to Luke. She couldn't remember the exact words she had used, but she had let him know she wanted him nowhere near Rory nor Stars Hollow ever again. And here he was, reaching out to her for help.

"So... uhm... have you eaten?" she said, uncertain of what to do. " I could call Luke to come over with burgers or Al's if you prefer Chinese take-out."

Jess looked up at her, certainly feeling the awkwardness too.

"Al's cool."

Lorelai nodded and slowly backed her way out of the bathroom to let him finished up on his own, wondering how she was supposed to entertain him?

That didn't turn to be much of a problem. After a somewhat awkward conversation over the food from Al's, Clara kept Jess entertained for the most part. Whenever Jess' attention wandered too away from her, the little girl would start to whimper like a wounded dog and his attention was immediately drawn back to her. It was clear she had him wrapped around her very tiny little finger and Lorelai suspected that by the age of three Clara would know every trick in the book to get her father to do her bidding.

Luke called at eight to check in on them. He was closing up the diner and wondered if they needed anything, a ride to hospital or the pharmacy or... Lorelai had cut him off and told him Clara was fine, that she and Jess was watching a kids' show on TV. She would come to regret those words very quickly. No more had she hung up on Luke than Clara started to cry unexpectedly. The crying grew quickly from a quiet sob to heart-wrenching howl. Jess got up from the couch and started rocking her back and forth, whispering soothing words in her ear. He messaged her belly, but without any luck. Minutes turned into quarters of an hour that turned into hours without Clara's cry calming down.

It wasn't until Lorelai offered herself to relieve Jess from Clara to let him rest for awhile, that Clara finally let herself be hushed. Sitting on Lorelai's arm, Clara stared in awe at the stranger holding her. Previous trials and torments suddenly all forgotten. Lorelai even managed to get a smile from the girl by talking nonsense to her.

"You have good hands with her," Jess noted. He stood leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front him.

Lorelai smiled at the baby girl in her arms.

"Well, I've done this once before."

She gave him a meaning look. Jess blushed when he released she talking about Rory. Clara yawned and suddenly looked very sleepy. The dark eyes grew heavier and heavier. Lorelai adjusted her grip around the baby to let the girl rest her head against Lorelai's breast. The intimacy set off a storm of emotions inside Lorelai. Some of them she hadn't felt in a long time, since Rory was little and she began humming a lullaby she had sung to Rory softly.

Feeling confident his daughter was in safe hands and didn't need him to fall asleep, Jess withdrew from the living room. Lorelai watched him leave and prayed he wasn't jealous of it being her who got Clara to finally settling in. She kissed the top of the baby's head. Things like this could be sensitive to some parents. They could take it as a scorn towards their parenting skills and Lorelai didn't mean to scorn Jess. From what she had seen tonight he was a great father who loved his daughter very much.

Lorelai put her lips to the baby's head again. This time she let them stay there as she softly rocked Clara back and forth. She had forgot how good babies smelled. Rory had smelled good too. It was amazing how the tiny little thing she had given birth to twenty years ago had grown up into a young woman. Lorelai could still remember when the nurse had put Rory in her arms for the first time. The feelings inside her lacked words to be described with. Tonight, holding Clara in her arms, she could feel the emotions come back to her and she smiled against the soft curls at the top of Clara's head.

A while later when Clara had fallen asleep and Lorelai was confident the girl wouldn't wake up again the second Lorelai distanced herself, she carefully put down the baby in the temporary bed Jess had prepared for his daughter in the stroller insert. Clara didn't wake and Lorelai quietly left the room to go and look for Jess. She found him in the kitchen. Sitting at the table with his back against her, he didn't notice her approach. He looked deep in thoughts and he fiddled with something in hands. Lorelai stretch her neck to see what it was he was holding. The ring.

Sensing he might wanted to be left alone, Lorelai tried to withdraw back to the hallway again but accidentally backed into the chest of the drawers standing there. The sound made Jess look up over his shoulder.

"Is she asleep?"

Lorelai nodded. She bit her lip when Jess turned back his head. Her head told her to retreat upstairs for a minute or two and give him his space, but her curiosity refused her to take another step away from the kitchen. It was that ring again...

"I hope you don't mind me asking, Jess," she heard herself say before she could stop it. "What happened to Clara's mother?"

The question hung heavy in the air for a moment. Lorelai was almost sure Jess would snap something cocky at her, but all he did was to sigh. Deep and troubled.

"So you've figured out she's dead, huh?" he said, eyes fixed on the ring.

The revelation struck Lorelai in the gut.

"No," she whispered truthfully. "I didn't, but I figured something must have happened for her to not be here with Clara. May I ask what happened?"

A long moment of silence followed before Jess inhaled to speak. Suddenly he had aged whole ten years. The dark eyes showed signs of the weariness only someone who had lost a dear one had.

"I should've known right from the starts that something was wrong. The sign were all there. I just chose not to see them. By the time I opened my eyes, it was already too late."

Lorelai stood quietly at the door and listened breathlessly. She didn't dare to move nor speak.

"Stella and I met in California when I was still living with Jimmy," Jess continued telling her. "She had that way of seeing right through you, through the walls you've ever built to protect yourself. She could see right through them all. It wasn't possible to pretend or hide anything from her. She knew you better than you did yourself and she wasn't afraid to let you know she loved you all the same." Jess smiled to himself. "Stella forced me to look at my self, to really look at my self and who I had become and it wasn't a pretty sight. I was a mess back then. After everything with mom and Luke and school, Rory... I was just... shattered."

Jess paused for a brief moment, then he sighed.

"Stella put me back. She convinced me to leave California and come to Philadelphia with her. Her sister had just gotten a baby. Since it wasn't working out with Jimmy, I figured 'why not'? So we went to Philadelphia. Stella hooked me up with some old friends of hers and it was through them I got in contact with Chris and Matthew and Truncheon Books. It was a blast and I thought that maybe everything was going to work out alright, but then..."

Jess face darkened. Lorelai could feel goosebumps rise on her arms and she restlessly shifted weight from one foot to the other. Jess took a deep breath and continued:

"But then Stella fainted. We were out on the town and she just collapsed. When she woke up she refused to see a doctor. She claimed she had just skipped breakfast so I took her home instead, believing what she said was true. I had almost forgotten about it when she got a cold and fainted again. She said it was the cold and stupid as I was I ignored the voice in my had telling me to take her to the hospital."

"Anyway," Jess pulled a hand through his hair as if trying to wipe a horrible memory, "winter came and passed without anything in particular happening. I spent most of my waking hours at Truncheon and Stella was either at her work or spending time with her niece at her sister's place. Then last spring, we signed this big author to Truncheon and we were out celebrating the whole gang. One thing led to another and Stella and I ended up sleeping together. We weren't in love or anything, we were friends who cared deeply for each other and wanted to be intimate. We never intended to make anything serious out of it, but then Stella came to me one day and told me she was pregnant. I freaked out at first. She too. We weren't ready for that kind of responsibility. We were just kids ourselves, trying to act grown up!"

Jess shook his head at the memory. Lorelai, who had slowly come over to the table while he talked, sat down and gave him an encouraging nod to continue.

"We discussed abortion but I knew that Stella didn't want that deep down. She had told me back in California that she wanted a big family for herself one day since she was deprived her own at an early age. Her parents died in a car accident. She and her sister were raised by Stella's grandmother. It's from her Clara got her name," Jess explained to Lorelai. "After everything Stella had done for me, I didn't want to deny her that wish. The more I thought about it, starting a family with Stella didn't seem so bad."

"So we decided to keep the baby." Jess hesitated for a moment as if he didn't know how to continue the story. "Summer came and Stella's belly grew. She suffered from morning sickness in the beginning so when she complained about dizziness I didn't think much of it, until one morning when I found her unconscious on the bathroom floor. She told me when I managed to wake that she had gone up during the night because she felt nauseous, but everything had turned black on her. I don't know for how long she had been laying there, but this time I refused to listen to her excuses. I took her to the hospital and forced her to see a doctor. The news weren't good."

Lorelai, who was so into the story she scarcely breathed, felt her stomach turn into a knot at those words. Jess looked up and met her gaze.

"Stella had cancer. They found a tumor in the size of a walnut in her brain and it had started spread to the rest of her body too. The doctors said there was a chance for her to survive if they started the treatment straightaway, but then they needed to remove Clara."

Lorelai winced. "Let me guess, Stella refused?"

Jess nodded. "She so determined to have this baby. She told the doctors to shove their treatment up somewhere the sun doesn't shine, she was having the baby even if it meant her life. We got married that same night."

Jess held up the ring so they both could see it.

"I proposed to her and we got married at the hospital chapel. Her sister told me I was crazy for letting Stella sacrifice herself like that, but what could I have possibly done to make her change her mind. She had already made up her mind. All I could do was to be there for the baby if Stella didn't make it."

Jess flashed a smile, but it was a sad one. Lorelai could tell he had been going through this over and over again in his head ever since it happened, dwelling on whether or not he had done the right thing. If there had been anything he could have done differently. To soothe him, Lorelai put her hand on top of his.

"They had to deliver Clara prematurely. Stella was only eight months pregnant. Her condition had gotten so bad the doctors didn't want to risk Clara's health. They had to perform an emergency cesarean. Stella was so weak when they sedated her I'm not sure she understood what was going on. She never got to hold Clara either. She fell into a coma during the procedure and never woke up again. We buried her in march."

"Oh, Jess," Lorelai whispered, shocked over what he had told her. "I am so sorry."

Jess looked up at her. Tears slowly made their way down his cheeks.

"I should have known something was wrong with her. If I had taken her to the hospital earlier..."

Lorelai quieted him by moving her hand from his hand to his shoulder.

"You couldn't possibly have known, Jess. Cancer is a vicious decease. If it had spread to the rest of her body, she must have had it for a long time. It's not your fault."

If someone had told her two years ago that she would be sitting in her own kitchen consoling a crying Jess, Lorelai wouldn't have told the person to take it easy with the pills. It was peculiar how much things could change in two years. For Jess it must have felt like an eternity. Lorelai felt bad for him. Now she understood why he hadn't contacted Luke earlier. There simply hadn't been any time for it with everything else going on.

"Have you told Luke this?" she asked him when his tears had dried.

Jess shook his head.

"No, not yet."

"He's really happy you're back, you know that right? He has missed you."

"It was Stella's idea that I should come here. She wanted Clara to have relatives."

"And what do you want, Jess?"

Jess lifted his head and met her gaze.

"I want him to be there for me."

Lorelai was thinking of an answer to reply to that when a wailing came from the living room.

"I think Clara wonders where her dad is. You should go and check on her."

Jess nodded and rose from his chair. Lorelai shambled behind and watched him pick up the baby from the the shadows in the hallway. For being so young he had gone through so much. Life hadn't been easy for him. Lorelai released her accusations and hostile attitude towards him when he lived her might have been very unfair. He had been trouble she didn't want for her daughter, but had she every stopped to think why he acted the way he did. His tears at the table a moment ago, his gentle hand with Clara now... It was proof of a very sensitive, considerate inside.

Lorelai sighed. She had been so wrong about him.

As if Jess had heard her sighing and misinterpreted as a yawn, he looked over his shoulder at her and said:

"If you want you can go to bed. I can take it from here."

Lorelai nodded. She was tired, come to think of it. She told Jess good night and headed upstairs. In the stillness of her bedroom she thought of all the trials Jess must have gone through while he had been gone from Stars Hollow. Whom ever Stella was, she had done an amazing job straighten him out. It was a pity she was dead, but so it often was. The brightest candles burned out the quickest.

Lorelai stripped and put on a pajamas, a silky thing she had bought for intimate moment. It wasn't at all appropriate to wear with a young man in the house, but Lorelai hadn't much else to choose from. Rory hadn't been home for weeks to remind her to do the laundry and Lorelai now was running on the last few clean items. She had a robe though, so if Jess needed something during the night she could always cover herself with that.

She crawled under the bedding, but no sooner had she fallen asleep than she was woken up again by a loud cry from Clara. Lorelai glanced at the watched. It was 2 am in the morning, she had been sleeping for hours but it felt like it was only a moment ago she laid down her head on the pillow. Lorelai climbed out of bed to the sound of Clara's pained cries and reached for her robe before heading out of the room.

"What's going on?" she asked Jess as she came rushing down the staircase. He was rocking the crying Clara back and forth with an worried expression on his face. He looked like had been sleeping to. The hair was messy and he was clad in running shorts and a t-shirt.

"I don't know. She just started crying. It sounds like she's in pain."

Lorelai reached the end of the staircase and hurried across the floor to where he was standing. Clara's face was bright red and wet with tears.

"She is a little hot, but I don't think it's fever," Lorelai said, checking Clara's temperature. "We should strip her of her clothes. Maybe the diaper too, she could have a rash."

They worked together to strip Clara. Jess held her while Lorelai gently removed the bodysuit and diaper. They found no signs of a rash anywhere. With the baby naked and screaming worse than before, Jess looked at Lorelai for help.

"Should we call the doctor?"

"I think it's best, I'll get the phone."

Lorelai turned to leave, but turned back again when Clara all of a sudden turned quiet. The two adults looked at the baby curiously, wondering why she had quieted. Then, with a gurgling sound, the baby exploded in both ends.

"AH!"

Jess pushed Clara away from him, but he wasn't fast enough. Top to toe drenched in baby puke and poop he gave his daughter a dangerous glare.

"You planned this, didn't you?" he hissed.

Clara giggled, suddenly feeling all better, and made puppy-eyes. In the hallway Lorelai tried to bite back a fit of laughter. The scene was hilarious and Jess' face miserable. Now they knew what had been bugging Clara.

Lorelai put down the phone and walked over to them just as Jess made a damage controlled of his soiled clothing. Surprisingly as it was, nothing of Clara's fluids had ended up on the floor. She took Clara from his hands.

"Take the shower upstairs. The washing machine is there. I'll clean up Clara for you."

Jess nodded in thanks and headed to the staircase. Grabbing his bag on his way out, he was soon disappeared to the floor above. When he was gone, Lorelai turned to Clara who looked very pleased with herself.

"Aren't you a naughty little girl? Pooping on you father like that." She tickled Clara's foot and the little girl giggled. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up, Stinky."

Half an hour later, Clara was cleaned up, dressed and half asleep in Lorelai's arms when Jess returned down to the living room. The sight of him knocked the breath out of Lorelai's lungs. He was gorgeous. The dark hair, still damp from the shower, had been pushed back and his skin seemed to be glowing. He had no shirt on, revealing a deliciously muscular chest. A string of dark hair circled his navel and disappeared under the hem of his grey sweat pants, inviting to sinful thoughts of what was hidden there. Lorelai felt certain female parts of her body awake from their slumber. Miss Patty was right. Jess had grown into a fine young man.

"Sorry, it seems I forgot to bring another t-shirt," Jess said and flung his bag onto the couch. "The washing machine is soon done."

"No worries," Lorelai stuttered, cheeks flushed.

Thankfully Jess didn't seem to notice it, he only had eyes for his daughter.

"How is she?"

Lorelai had to shake her head to get rid of the naughty fantasies beginning to grow in head.

"All better. I think the little 'accident' earlier did the trick." Lorelai handed Clara over to Jess and quickly wrapped the robe closer to her body so he wouldn't see how her body reacted to his nakedness. Jess took his daughter and let her nuzzle up close. For some strange reason, Lorelai envied the little girl.

"The washing machine has a few minutes left to go before it's done. Clara and I will take care of it if you want to go back to sleep."

Having no good reason to linger downstairs, Lorelai told them good night and went to the staircase. Before starting the climb, she threw one last lustful look at Jess' bare chest and sighed. Yes, a very fine young man indeed.


AUTHOR (again): A little funny, a little, a little WTF?! Just the way we luv our fan fictions. Please don't forget to review!