Disclaimer: I do not own Blindspot. More like it's the other way around… I've come to realize that THEY own ME. :)
A/N: Three days ago, I really thought I could wrap this story up in one chapter, since I'm facing a lot of deadlines at once and I needed to bring it to a close. I thought I could finish it that day. I really should know better by now. To my surprise, I wrote 47 more pages, and it took three days. So I've now finished writing the draft (though I'm still editing the later parts), and this is the first part of my 47 page ending. There will probably end up being three more chapters. I can't promise, but when I figure it out, I'll let you know. I should be able to post one a day until I get to the end. Once again, thank you for coming along on this journey.
He was back from the bathroom before she even realized it, since she'd gotten lost in thought standing in the middle of the room. She didn't even hear him come back into the bedroom behind her, despite the fact that the door was only a few feet away. By the time she realized he was there, he'd closed the door and taken the few steps necessary to be standing in the center of the room with her.
"Hey," he whispered as she turned around, suddenly looking happier than he could remember seeing her in ages, "you didn't even move. I'm surprised you can still stand up. I thought you were going to climb into bed." Despite her brilliant smile, he looked at her worriedly. "Are you okay?" When she nodded, even though she was smiling at him strangely, he relaxed.
"Why don't we lie down, and you can tell me about whatever it is you're smiling about when we're more comfortable?" he suggested, and her head bobbed agreeably. She wasn't sure she could put it all into words, but she was certainly going to try.
A glance back at the door revealed that it did not have a lock, and they looked at each other for a few seconds, considering their options. "Maybe we should wear something," she suggested slowly. "But not too much?" Their comfort level with each other had very quickly rebounded, and it was hard to remember that only five days before, in that tent where he'd found her, they'd fallen asleep together in their clothes. Now, that option felt completely unappealing. Of course, they were guests in someone else's home, so a degree of modesty seemed appropriate… but not too much.
In the end, they settled for what they'd worn to crawl into their sleeping bag the first night of their long trek down the mountain – Jane in just her oversized t-shirt and Kurt in a pair of boxers. The bed was pushed against the far wall, across from the door and pushed into the corner at the right side. He got in first, so he could have his back against the wall and feel as though he was keeping watch as he lay on his left side, ready to stand up at a second's notice and protect Jane, if necessary – even though it wasn't. Jane settled in beside him, laying on her back for the moment in the tiny bed as she looked up at Kurt, unable to stop smiling.
"This may be the most comfortable bed in the universe," she sighed, to which he could only chuckle in reply.
"It's actually not that soft for a bed, but compared to the ground… it's pretty damn good," he pointed out. "No complaints here." He leaned down and kissed her, taking his time before sitting back up to look at her again. "Now, before we both pass out, did you want to tell me why you're smiling so hard?"
Taking a deep breath, she nodded, feeling like her smile was going to burst her face wide open. "I had every intention of getting into bed and then… I was just thinking. I was just so happy… And it had been so long, or it felt like it had been so long since I was so happy… after I was so sure…"
Just thinking about what she had to explain in order for him to understand why she was smiling was enough for her smile to dim significantly. Quickly, the old feelings crept back in, the ones from the times that they didn't like to talk about, when waking up from dreams of Kurt had meant heartache, because in reality, if he was able to look at her without a glare, it was a stroke of luck. And even more so, the feelings that had haunted her after she'd left the happiest life she could possibly have imagined, telling herself that she had to give up that happiness forever to keep him safe. From her. Even though she knew that she wasn't there anymore, it was hard not to feel it all again.
But there was a lot to explain, and she continued on. "I was so sure that I wouldn't ever get to feel happiness again… that I didn't deserve to…" She bit her lip and reminded herself again that she wasn't in that time anymore, that he was lying right there with her and everything was okay.
"To get this chance with you again, I just… It's so much more than I ever thought I'd get." Her voice broke on the last few words, but she pushed them out, dismayed to feel tears in the corners of her eyes.
He opened his mouth to reply, but she shook her head, because she was not finished talking. "No, there's more. I was thinking," she said with renewed determination, "that everything between us had been so perfect – because it was perfect – until I let my mind convince me that I couldn't have it… that it wasn't mine. I…"
She took a breath, knowing that she was walking a fine line along a very sensitive topic, at least for her. "I never told you about this dream I had…" she continued slowly, now feeling herself blush. "Back when things… weren't very good between us. Well, I had a lot of them, actually. But in this particular one, I dreamed that we were… a couple… having a dinner party. Roman came over. You guys were on good terms. It was just a relaxed evening. Just… happy… and then suddenly the door swung open. I was the only one who noticed, so I went to see what happened. Out in the hall, on the floor in front of the door, was the duffle bag they found me in, complete with the tag that said 'Call the FBI.' I turned around, and you and Roman were gone. Then I turned back to the hall and there was Remi, standing there staring at me."
As soon as she had mentioned Roman's name, she'd felt him tense, his arm that was draped across her stomach tightening immediately. When she said 'Remi,' he stiffened even more. Protectiveness flared up in his eyes, but she shook her head to try to reassure him. "No, listen. I'm just giving you the background first," she promised. As he relaxed slightly, but still looked agitated, she couldn't help but smile, warmth blooming in her chest all over again.
"So Remi was standing there staring at me, the iciest stare you've ever seen, and she told me… 'This doesn't belong to you.' And we fought, throwing each other around the apartment for a while until…" She'd forgotten until that moment how that dream had ended. She was so accustomed to blocking it out.
"Until what?" he asked, before he'd even realized that maybe she didn't want to talk about it, and that's why she'd stopped. But the look that had suddenly appeared on her face was heartbreaking, and he couldn't stand not knowing what was causing it.
"She had me on the dining room table, and she was standing above me. I couldn't move… I don't know why. I watched as she raised the biggest knife we have in the kitchen over me and… She plunged it into my chest. That was when I woke up."
Kurt was staring down at her, open mouthed. "You never told me…" he whispered, horrified.
Shrugging her shoulders and looking away, Jane looked as uncomfortable as she felt. "And a few hours later, at the office, Nas was criticizing me for not getting the data from the chip I stole with Roman because I'd saved him instead, telling me I'd gone against my mission objective. And, well, you were sleeping with her at the time, right? You weren't exactly on my side."
Her eyes flashed back up to his, and for a second he didn't know what to say. This conversation had quickly taken a turn he hadn't expected.
"Yes, I was," he mumbled, and now he was the one who couldn't meet her eyes.
I remember that day, he thought. I had no idea… What else did she go through that I don't know about? It was a hard thought to think now, looking back on so many mistakes.
"I don't say this to make you feel guilty… I'm just making a point. The point is, that's why you've never heard the story," she told him, smiling sadly. "It wasn't exactly something I wanted to bring up. But that wasn't why I told you all that, Kurt," she whispered to him, reaching her hand up to his cheek to turn it back toward her, and letting it rest against the thick scruff on his face as she continued.
"My original point was that Remi told me, 'This doesn't belong to you.' As in, this life that I had in the dream. And I remember all I could think was how badly I wanted it. I can't tell you how many times that dream came back to haunt me…" Again, she smiled at him sadly. "And then, when I was standing there in the middle of the room a few minutes ago, feeling so happy, I heard it again. Her voice, from the back of my head. Like an echo of a memory, even though it never actually happened. And – this is the good party, by the way – you know what happened immediately after that?"
"What?" he asked, releasing the tension he'd been feeling now that Jane no longer looked upset.
"I saw your face in my head, and Remi's voice just… disappeared. And my first thought was that yes, this life does belong to me, and that she doesn't get to decide things for me anymore. I told her that I was sorry that she had the life she had, and that it wasn't her fault, but that it was over. Because she was never taking me back there again. And then all I could think about was that you would be proud of me." She sniffled slightly at the end, her voice overflowing with emotion. "And that's when you came back into the room."
For a few seconds, he looked down at her, stunned, before reaching to cover her hand on his cheek with his own, gently pulling it away so that he could plant a kiss in the center of her palm, and then turning it so that he could lace their fingers together.
"I've never been more proud of you," he told her softly. "You impress me every day. Your strength, your compassion, your selflessness... a little too much of that, by the way… Your will to fight for what's right… your heart…"
Her eyes tearing up yet again, her emotions welling up inside her anew. Slowly, he shifted off of his left elbow, which had been holding him up, so that his head was beside hers on the pillow as she turned toward him shyly. She didn't know how to take so many compliments at once. Even one at a time, she wasn't even good at taking them, after all.
His face now nuzzled into her cheek, as she immediately leaned into him, turning slightly to her right, towards him.
She felt nothing but happiness, and yet, she felt tears leaking out of her eyes, to her dismay. She didn't understand what was going on, only that she couldn't get a handle on how she felt or why her reaction wasn't matching it, which was frustrating.
"Hey, it's okay…" he said soothingly. "It's all going to be fine. You know that, right?" When she nodded, half laughing and half choking, he chuckled gently, moving his nose against her cheek, back and forth, as she leaned farther into it.
"I don't even know why I'm crying," she whispered in frustration, trying to get ahold of herself. "I'm happy, really."
"Happy tears are okay," he whispered. "I'd prefer no tears, but happy ones aren't so bad. After everything you've been through, you're certainly entitled. But I have a feeling it's more exhaustion than anything else. What do you say we go to sleep now? I'm pretty surprised that either of us are still conscious."
"I think that's a good idea," she whispered, leaning as close to him as she could get. Just that explanation had taken a lot out of her.
"And if there's anything else you want to tell me about from… before… either of those times… you can. You know that, right? I don't want you to feel like parts of our lives are a black hole that sucks the light out of us. It doesn't have to. It was…" He sighed, looking at her from as close as he could get while still focusing on her. She stared right back at him, her eyes full of so much emotion. "It wasn't an easy time, but we made it here. Just like you said to Remi, we're not going back either. No matter what. Okay?"
Nodding ever so slightly, she could barely force her voice to reply. "Yeah," she whispered, completely exhausted… but in a good way. "I love you," she added softly. "There's not even a strong enough word for how much."
He'd been the one watching tears leak out of her eyes for a while now, but all of a sudden, at her words, he felt his own eyes moisten a little more than usual as well. "Funny, I have that same problem with words," he whispered back. "So I'll just keep telling you until I'm blue in the face and you're sick to death of hearing it. I love you."
She chuckled at him and they leaned closer to each other simultaneously, each needing to hold onto the other as tightly as possible. After shifting positions carefully, so that he was more on his back and she was more on her right side, her head landed on his left shoulder and his left arm curled around behind her. Her left was arm draped across his chest, and he caught hold of her left hand with his right, holding on tight.
"Good night," he whispered. He heard her murmur something that might have been good night, and he laughed softly. Once again, he couldn't have asked for anything more than this moment, and in only a few more seconds, they had both fallen asleep.
The next morning, they did not wake with the sun, despite the fact that it shone brilliantly into the room. They did not wake with the noises of life in the village that came from outside the window, rather loudly at times. They did not even wake with the gentle knocking on the door from the younger daughter of their hosts. If they had been awoken by that last noise, they would have seen a very embarrassed and apologetic young woman open the door just a crack, because her mother had sent her to ensure that the foreigners were actually still there. They'd slept so long, the old woman had become concerned.
Jane and Kurt were still there, of course, and were sleeping quite well. As they tended to, they had moved in their sleep and once again, they were both turned on their sides, Kurt holding on tightly to Jane, her back pressed to his chest. The young woman blushed furiously when she saw them, despite not having been discovered, and not having seen anything scandalous. She wished that her mother would have done this chore on her own, as she felt terrible about peeking at the foreigners as they slept. Having completed her mother's instructions, she closed the door silently and retreated back to the kitchen to make her report.
Eventually, they did wake up, and for the second time since they'd started over, Jane was the first one awake. She knew this even before she turned only ever so slightly to look over her shoulder at him, hearing his slow, even breathing near her ear. Once again, her chest filled with such a warmth that she felt like there was no way that her insides could contain it. More than content to lie quietly in his arms, she closed her eyes and tried to memorize every tiny detail about this moment.
She didn't have to wait too long, however, before she felt him stirring behind her. Without hesitation, she shifted until she could look directly into his sleepy eyes. "Good morning," she whispered. "I was waiting for you to wake up."
His smile seemed to wake up before his vocal cords, because he looked at her with bleary eyes and a tired smile for several seconds before managing a "good morning" in reply. Without even looking away from each other, somehow her left hand found his right, and she pulled their intertwined hands to her cheek, leaning his hand against her skin. His smile grew wider as he gradually woke up, and sleep seemed to finally release him.
"I love waking up with you," he murmured. "Don't—" His eyes widened slightly, as if he'd only just realized what was coming out of his mouth. "Sorry," he mumbled looking down.
A jolt of discomfort tugged at her heart, but she knew that he'd started with an endearing thought, and she couldn't fault him for that. She didn't want him to feel like he had to censor what he felt because he didn't want to hurt her. That was the last thing she wanted. After all, he'd gone out of his way to tell her that she could talk about anything from that time that was so uncomfortable, it was only fair that they both had the same rule.
And so she addressed the issue head on. "I don't want to wake up without you ever again, if there's anything I can possibly do to avoid it," she told him evenly, trying to imitate the calm he'd shown last night with her. "But you told me last night that you want me to feel like I can talk to you about… anything, even from… before." The word came out of her mouth carefully, and she paused for a split second before going on.
"So, you have to feel like you can, too. It's only fair. I don't want you holding things back because you're afraid of making me feel bad. If I have to forgive myself, like you said a few days ago, then you have to be honest with me about how you feel. I know I hurt you…" She paused again there, feeling her eyes watering. "And I also know that you understand, but that doesn't make all the things you went through just disappear. I'm not the only one who's important here. You are, too. And I'm not made of glass, despite how you sometimes act."
She hated that there were tears on her cheeks again, but it had needed to be said, and there was nothing she could do about the strength of her emotions.
"You're right, you're not," he told her, now awake. "But it's hard for me not to treat you that way. You've had so many horrible things done to you, by people who were supposed to have protected you…" He tugged their joined hands toward him now, and kissed the back of hers. "All I want to do is protect you, even when you don't need it, to make up for all the bad things. I want you to have so much good in your life, that you don't remember the bad. Not because you've been zipped, but because you just… forget, because you don't need those memories. Because they stop being important. And I'm going to have to stop trying to protect you quite that much, I know. You don't need that from me. Because it's not glass that you're made of. You can stand up to almost anything, so… obviously, you're a diamond."
She'd been smiling through her tears, but now her face crumpled. "Dammit, stop saying things that make me cry, happy tears or not," she whispered unevenly. The tears that had started so tentatively were now coming down her face in full force. Letting go of her hand, he wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her against him tightly, chuckling slightly as he made a shhhh-ing sound. He breathed in and out slowly and deliberately, hoping she would adjust to his rhythm.
He gave her a few minutes before he spoke again, just holding onto her. "Alright let's try this again," he told her, leaning close to her ear. "Are you ready?" He felt her nod, so he loosened his grip on her enough so that she could move back to look at him. Her face was puffy from crying, and he put both of his hands up to her cheeks, swiping at the area under her eyes with his thumbs, trying to catch as many of them as he could.
"There, that's better. Alright." Clearing his throat, he attempted to restart their day from the first thing he'd told her. "I love waking up with you," he murmured, imitating his own sleepy voice. Then, at the part that had caused them both so much heartache the previous time, he kept his eyes focused directly on her and made a different choice. "Please, don't ever leave me again."
"I promise," she replied simply, feeling a tug at her heart that was nowhere near as painful as what she'd experienced when he'd stopped himself from saying those words earlier. It was so much better like this, talking about things, she realized, and suddenly she felt like an idiot. "If I'd only just talked to you about it all in the first place…" She was dismayed to feel herself on the verge of breaking down all over again, when she heard his voice cut through her thoughts, as he was so good at doing.
"Jane," he said soothingly. "You were scared. And like you always do, you were putting someone else before yourself. But that doesn't matter anymore. It's going to be okay. Alright?" She just nodded, and he pushed her hair away from her face and looked at her adoringly. "Come on sweetheart, no more crying. Please? I hate to see you cry."
How could she say no to such a simple request, made by the person who, whether she deserved it or not, loved her more than anything? It was easy – she couldn't. Nodding quickly, she dried her eyes on the loose material of the shoulder area of her t-shirt.
"We should get up, before they send someone to investigate our disappearance," Kurt said jokingly, waiting to see how his humor would be received. "Do we know how we're leaving this village, by the way, oh master translator?"
She smiled at him, shaking her head slowly and rolling her eyes. "Well, I don't know about you, but I got here in the back of a truck that came from a town a few hours away, when one of the men who had taken his produce to the market there was on his way home. So I imagine that we have to find someone like that, who's going that way anyway and is willing to give us a ride, to get ourselves to a bigger town." Pausing for dramatic effect, she added, "Unless of course, you'd rather walk."
"I think I can say for sure that I would rather not walk, if we can avoid it," he smiled at her. "So we'd better get ourselves up and moving, right?"
"Right," she agreed. "And I'm going to need to network a little."
"Yeah, that's fine. I'll just be the pretty face," he replied with a grin, which won him the biggest smile he'd seen on her face in more hours than should have elapsed since he'd seen her happy.
"They can look all they want, but you're all mine," she replied, slightly defensively.
"You've got that right," he assured her, leaning forward to kiss her. This kiss lasted longer than the others they'd shared recently, since the pressure of time had been lessened, and the emotions between them had only been heightened. Still, too soon, they leaned back to catch their breath, nodding at each other, knowing that it was time to get up.
She somehow forced herself to sit up, and he moved quickly to pull himself up beside her on her left as she perched on the edge of the bed. His right hand covered her left for a few seconds, squeezing it gently, and then he stood up, tugging her up with him. They put on their clothes, which were now even filthier than they were, but it didn't matter. Their clothes would get cleaned, and they would shower at some point along the way. One step at a time.
After brushing their teeth and gathering their things together, they appeared in their hosts' kitchen, Jane apologizing for their having slept so long, telling their hosts once more how very much their appreciated having a bed to sleep in, and their generous hospitality. At least, that was what Jane had told him she was going to say. And of course, that she would then ask about getting a ride to the nearest town.
Kurt did his best to smile, but the tones that sounded like such nonsense to his untuned ears began lulling him back to sleep. He did his best to at least keep his eyes open, but it was difficult. While the conversation flew on above his head, the two sisters made several trips to set food down in front of both of the guests. He could only assume that the others had eaten long ago. On each of their plates there was a hard-boiled egg, potatoes in curry sauce, flatbread, and a mug of tea for each of them.
"Thank you," he said to the women sincerely, though he didn't know if they understood even that much. The two smiled and bowed their heads, but said nothing.
He watched Jane's face when she noticed the food that had been put in front of her, which took a little extra time because she'd been involved in the conversation. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in surprise, and she immediately began speaking rapidly in the family's language which, once again, Kurt understood none of.
Jane went straight for the tea, as did Kurt. While they both would have preferred coffee, tea was a very acceptable substitute. After that, they focused on the food, Jane continuing the conversation with the older couple.
Once again, Kurt finished before her, and then just sat and watched her interact with their hosts. He got so accustomed to watching her and just hearing the hum of conversation that he was almost surprised when she turned and spoke to him.
"There's a truck leaving the village in an hour. It's going to make stops in a few towns in a row. He said that the truck's last stop is about halfway to Lhasa. The truck driver's cousin is meeting him at the last stop, and the driver is sure that his cousin would be willing to drive us the rest of the way to Lhasa. From there…" she paused dramatically, her smile widening across her face. "We can fly, with only two stops, back to New York."
He knew this, of course, because he'd made the trip to get there in the first place, but just hearing her say it all out loud, the logistics of it, made him a little dizzy with anticipation. "So, we could be home in… three or four more days, right?" he asked.
"That's right," she replied. "And the best part is… we don't have to walk the rest of the way."
"I would walk that far for you," he told her without hesitation. "But I have to admit… I'll be really glad that I don't have to."
Once again, Jane's smile lit up her face, and he couldn't help but wish that she wasn't so far away.
"We should get ready to go, though," Jane told him. With that, she turned back to their hosts and said a few words, bowing her head slightly, and then stood up from her chair. Kurt followed her lead, and together they went back down the hall to the bedroom to get their things. Once back inside the small room, however, they moved as if pulled towards each other by gravitational force, Jane's head landing on his chest, both of them with their arms around each other.
"We're really going home," Jane whispered breathlessly. "I mean, I knew it, but… it didn't seem real. I'd spent so long telling myself I'd never go back…"
"And now you know better," he replied. "Because you not coming home is just not an acceptable outcome to me. I was never going to stop looking for you."
"Stubborn…" she murmured. "I love that about you."
"Come on," he replied with a chuckle, "Let's get out of here."
On both of their behalf, Jane thanked their hostess and the two daughters, and then the two travelers, along with the village elder, set out to find the man with the truck who was leaving the village within the hour.
It wasn't a long walk, since it was a tiny village, and the man with the truck was just as friendly as the family who'd been so kind to them the previous night and morning. The pick-up truck was ancient, covered in mud and appearing never to have had maintenance of any sort. The back section was already loaded down with crates full of chickens, and because the man was also taking his adult son with him on the trip, Jane and Kurt would be riding in the back with the chickens. The man had already rearranged the crates to create space for the two human passengers, and he'd even covered a corner of the back section of the truck which backed to the cabin with thick blankets, presumably to cushion against the bumps of the ride down a long dirt road that connected the villages.
Their host conversed briefly with the owner of the truck, who would be taking them further, and then said goodbye. Once again, Jane thanked him effusively in a language Kurt couldn't understand, leaving him to simply smile when the man glanced at him, and to bow his head when Jane bowed hers. The man seemed genuinely happy to have helped them, which Kurt knew was due to Jane. She was so easy to love, after all.
Of course, I might be biased, he thought as he glanced at her as their host walked away. The truck driver smiled at them equally brightly, as did his son, who appeared to be about twenty-five. In an occurrence that Kurt was now become accustomed to, the man spoke to Jane, and she replied to whatever he'd said in the affirmative, nodding enthusiastically.
"I'm going to be so glad to get back home, where I can understand what's going on around me," Kurt told her under his breath.
Jane smiled at him sympathetically, leaning close to him as she translated. "They're ready to go. It's a little ahead of schedule, and he just wanted to know if that was alright," she told him.
"I think we can handle that," Kurt replied with a weary smile. The two of them climbed up onto the truck bed, having to climb over the side wall because the cages of chickens were packed in so tightly. Though it wasn't easy, he lifted the large backpack that carried most of the belongings, which had now travelled halfway around the world with him, all the way up over his head and then down into the truck, then pulled himself the rest of the way in. Jane came over the side next, and as soon as he'd put down his bag securely, he reached for her hand to help her – not because he thought that she couldn't, but because he didn't want her to have to do it all by herself, as he had told her before.
They settled themselves in the corner where, besides the blankets on the bottom of the truck, an old, thin mattress had been tied up against the wall of the cabin for exactly the purpose for which they now used it – to lean against it and not kill their backs as they hit the bumps in the road. After securing their bags where they wouldn't fly out if they hit a bump going fast, they tried to do the same for themselves. In the end, they just leaned against the mattress and since there was no one back there with them, sat just as close as they wanted to.
At first they sat side by side, but as soon as the truck started and they realized that thanks to the combination of the noise level created by the chickens, the roar of the ancient engine and the noise from the tires on the dirt road, they had little hope of hearing each other from even that small distance, they shifted position so that Kurt was behind her, his back against the wall and Jane sitting between his knees so that he could hold on around her waist, like a seatbelt. That way, if he wanted to say something, he could at least lean down and try to say it into her ear.
They both slept part of the way – there wasn't a lot to do to entertain themselves, and they were still so weary from the past days, weeks and months that with the motion of the truck, as bumpy as it was, they found themselves easily dozing off, sometimes jolted awake again shortly after that, and sometimes not. The next few hours passed this way, and before they knew it, they'd reached their first stop.
Standing up to stretch while the driver got out to handle whatever it was that needed to be done, which included offloading a small portion of the feathered passengers, they looked around at the scenery. This town was bigger than the village they'd spent the night in, but it was still smaller than the tiniest town in New York. It was all sort of surreal to look around at the surrounding landscape, stretching as far as they could see in every direction. Jane tried to memorize the lines and shapes around her, hoping that she would remember it well enough to draw it, whenever she got a chance. For the first time since she'd been in this part of the world, she wished she had a camera with which she could capture the beauty of the place.
"You okay?" Kurt asked, standing behind her. When she turned slightly toward him, he reached out and took her hand, which immediately made her smile. It was the first time she'd heard his voice in the past few hours, and she found that she'd already missed it.
"It's so… beautiful here. So peaceful. Simple. I was just thinking that I wish I could take a picture of it… but I'm trying to take it all in so that I can draw it, probably when we get home."
"You just said one of my favorite phrases," he informed her, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" she asked curiously.
"When we get home," he informed her. "As in, our home." He watched as the smile spread across her face as well. From alongside the truck, they heard their new friend the truck driver, telling them he was ready to move on to their next destination, the next town along the long dirt road. Well, they both heard him talking, but only Jane understood what he had said.
"They want to go, so… we should probably sit down," Jane ventured.
"No arguments here," he replied. "Let's not slow them down."
They looked at each other once more before sitting back down the same way they'd sat for the past few hours, with the same goofy smile that they'd been wearing for the past few days on their faces. A minute later, once again cuddled up together, Jane turned over her shoulder to look at him, leaning her cheek against his and sighing contentedly.
"Aren't you glad we don't have to walk?" he asked as the engine started. She nodded affirmatively.
"So glad," she confirmed, stretching to speak close to his ear. "But I would have, if we'd had to, if it meant that we'd get back home together." He squeezed his arms around her more tightly, leaning down to kiss her shoulder, then letting his chin rest there. Feeling an unusually strong surge of emotions, he closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her yet again
"It's okay," she said in his ear as the truck started moving, bumping along the dirt road out of town.
It was only two simple words, but they meant a lot. They were the words that Kurt had said to her what felt like a thousand times in the past few days, and that he would undoubtedly continue to say for the foreseeable future when she had moments of doubt. After everything they'd been through, they would both need plenty of reassurance.
And now, instead of being the one hearing those two little words that were so important, she was the one saying them. For the first time, she could actually believe them, and at that moment she'd just known that it was her turn to comfort him. The fact that he still allowed her to do that, that he had forgiven so many of her mistakes because he deemed her worthy of forgiveness, despite all of her flaws, was still awe-inspiring to her. When she thought about it, he had been so right. If she could forgive his mistakes – which she had long since done – then she should be able to forgive her own – which she had now begun to do, with his help.
The truck bumped along the dirt road toward the next village where they would stop, and once again, Jane and Kurt held onto each other, slipping in and out of consciousness as the daylight disappeared from the sky, and a beautiful sunset of orange, pink and purple swirled above them.
